His mind was everywhere and nowhere at once.
"Are you ill?" General Ri Myung Su enquired at different times noticing his unusual absorption as they went through the motions of Seo Jin's registration at the Blaise School of Music; his old school. Part of keeping his uncle pleased with him, involved making Seo Jin happy. When it overlapped with his love for piano, he was grateful, but today it was one of regret for it brought him to the city she was in.
It wasn't the hellos that he feared, but the goodbyes that he knew weighed on their souls.
However, when he took a seat to play the piano, at the Dean's request, he found the escape he was looking for in Chopin's Fantaisie Impromptu in C sharp Minor.
"A little rusty, but still the same Ri Jyeong Hyuk that I know," the Dean patted his arm. The affectionate acknowledgment brought back his lost cheer. After Seo Jin's audition and admission interview, they left to spend the rest of the day shopping and exploring Bern.
Between taking calls from the office about an upcoming summit and helping Seo Jin pick a handbag color, he was nearly distracted. It was when he let his guard down, occupied with a call from his assistant that he felt someone's hand on his shoulder.
He turned around to find Se Ri's omeoni. The suddenness froze him, helping to hide his shock. Though he met her mother's surprised gaze for a moment, his eyes searched for Se Ri, caught in both a deepening worry and eagerness.
"She is not here," Se Ri's mother spoke in disbelief placing a hand over her mouth. "She went to Grindelwald for paragliding."
When he sighed with visible relief, Se Ri's mother steadied herself grasping the situation. "Can we talk?" she suggested.
Asking Seo Jin to meet him at the nearby cafe once done with her shopping, Jyeong Hyuk left with Se Ri's mother. They sat by a cafe window in silence for a while, until Jyeong Hyuk realized he hadn't greeted her. "How have you been? I hope you are healthy."
She nodded. "I'm happy to see you, but -" Her voice fell off and she chose to take a sip of the hot coffee instead. "I don't know if that sentiment remains when I think about Se Ri," she managed.
Ri Jyeong Hyuk looked out the window. He was glad for her mother's concern; that she was indeed by Se Ri's side.
"Please don't worry, omeonim." He placed a hand on the table. "I am not here to cross paths with Se Ri again."
Despite his assurance, her mother didn't look relieved. She closed her eyes for a long moment. "Se Ri puts up a facade with me that she has let you go. But - " she seemed distraught. "I know that she lives as your wife."
His hand fisted. His eyes remained on his mother, inviting the flash of pain that her words brought him. His wife - as sweet as it sounded to his ears, he was aware that it also spoke of an unsaid melancholy.
"Seeing you, I can tell that you haven't moved on either."
Jyeong Hyuk felt her mother's slow pacing of words was to survive the helplessness she was struggling with.
"I would give anything to not see her fall apart like the way she did when you left a year ago. I'm afraid my daughter cannot handle another parting." She folded her arms and lowered her gaze.
Jyeong Hyuk didn't interrupt her when she moved to pick up her bag. Taking out a card key, she slid it towards him.
"That said, I also trust the man who stood by her door, day and night without food or water praying that she stays alive." Her voice began to break from an unnamed emotion. "You know what's best for you both." She met his eyes gesturing that he take the key. "We are staying at the Bellevue Palace, in the Queen's suite."
He wanted the key. He also wanted to return it back to her. He didn't have any confidence that he knew what was best for them. If this was a test, he didn't want to take it.
Before he could make a decision, Se Ri's mother got to her feet. "I believe you know it's her birthday tomorrow. She would love a surprise."
Eyeing Seo Jin coming their way, her mother placed a hand on his shoulder and left.
For the rest of the day, the restlessness brewed in him as he sat through dinner and grabbed a drink with the General. However, when he got to bed, the words that lingered behind the veil of his thoughts appeared again. His wife.
The clock showed 10:03 PM. With every passing minute, the unease of indecision seeped into his veins. Finally, he gave in and changed his clothes. At the hotel elevator, he paused unable to push the button. In turn, when the elevator showed up at his floor and the doors slid open, he took it as a sign and walked in.
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Her landing was satisfactory given the length of time she hadn't practiced. Packing away the materials, she sat down by the overlook bench and opened a snack. The draw to fly was innate to being human. To Se Ri it was more - as a healing therapy that gave her wings for all the times she felt trapped in a situation.
Today, she didn't know if she was flying away or towards the place she was in her life. There was no way to get answers when there were no questions, to begin with. Only a defeating silence remained.
She picked up her phone to log into her gaming profile and began typing her daily note to him.
As the sun went down and a myriad of colors danced across the sky, she saw the same dilemma presented in the view in front of her. Was it the end of the day that was as beautiful or the beginning of the night? She smiled thankful that life spared her time for such meaningless inquiries.
Was she miserable that it had been a year since he left? Or proud that she survived it? The endless debate spanned into the night as she sat at the hotel bar and poured herself one too many drinks. In her searching, she found the place where her thoughts obliterated to give way to a quiet bliss.
Swathed in an old dream of being in his arms, she closed her eyes to sleep even as a glimmer of a smile still laced her lips.
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He was indeed carrying her.
Walking into the hotel lobby, he sighted her by the open bar. It was another hour of an agonizing wait before she surrendered to oblivion. Though her dismal state of mind was apparent, he was relieved to see her holding herself together in public.
The longing to fully gaze at her face, pocket her smiles confined him to his seat, without yielding to the urge to walk out.
He was hardly a few yards from her and yet, the distance between them hadn't reduced. They were near and yet far. It would take less than a minute to close the distance and comfort her, but he no longer believed in short-lived fixes that left her worse than where she began.
I would give anything to not see her fall apart. Her mother's words echoed as a reminder.
Eventually, when the bartender had no choice but shake her shoulder, as she lay motionless over the counter, he intervened.
Her mother opened the door for him. Seeing her senseless in his arms, she was stricken with alarm.
Putting her down on the bed, he turned around ushering her mother towards Se Ri. "You should change her clothes."
Se Ri mumbled inaudibly calling both their attention at once.
"If it helps, she didn't see me," he added hoping to ease her anxiety and ambled out to the living room.
It was a while before her mother stepped out of the bedroom. "I'm going to bed."
He bowed. Se Ri's mother caught him fighting his predicament to stay or leave and she decided to retire to her room wordless.
Jyeong Hyuk took his time before he entered her room again. Her sleeping form feigned a peace that her messages refuted.
The clock showed it would be her birthday in fifteen minutes. Oddly the fight in him abated. He dragged himself to the bed and settled next to her. Extending his feet, he pulled the sheet up to her shoulder. She stirred and her hand came to rest close to his leg. Despite the darkness that enveloped the room, her ring caught his eyes. Just then she sniveled, her forehead creasing from unknown distress. Before he could catch himself, he leaned in to hold her in slow movements careful not to wake her. Cocooned in the warmth of him, she found the calm that had long evaded her.
He was smiling now, conceding to her qualms that he didn't share their moments with her. Their breaths mixed as her head nestled against the arc his neck. In that unexpected nearness, he was overcome by emotion. The thought of a bleak future introduced a rush in him. The streaming despair would have to wait, he told himself. For now, he needed this respite, the solace of spending a wink of time holding her.
Taking a white box out of his jacket, he removed the bracelet and slipped it down her hand. When it was time to leave, he bent down to kiss her forehead. "Happy Birthday, Yoon Se Ri."
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Yoon Se Ri woke up with a mild headache and yet, her mom found her in good cheer.
"Happy Birthday, Se Ri'ya." Her mother got up from the lounge chair to hug her.
Se Ri lifted her arm as she stumbled out of bed, however, she paused sensing a weight that circled her wrist. "Waah!" she let out in delight. "This is beautiful."
It was a Pandora bracelet lined with a few charms. A silver balloon charm with a blue pearl caught her eye. "Is this for the paragliding accident that took me across the border?" she prompted, joyfully curious.
Her mother smoothed her hair. "Maybe that's your homework?"
"Omma," she whimpered like a hurt puppy. "Tell me if this camera charm is for a favorite toy that you got me?"
"All in good time, Se Ri'ya," she smiled tentatively. "Do you need a tablet for the headache?"
"Cuppa Joe will do." She said, pouring herself a cup of coffee.
"Did you sleep well?" Her mother prodded, which Se Ri thought was quite unusual.
"I did," she walked to the window that overlooked the river. "Initially it started with the same dream of me falling, but -" her words petered off as she gazed into the distance. "He caught me. Then strangely, nothing after that. I slept like a baby."
"Good then." Her mother's face softened. "We can go down for breakfast, after your wash up"
She studied the other charms that drew her attention. At some point, she acknowledged they were exquisite, though she didn't understand what they stood for.
Spinning around, she held her mother once again. "Thank you, Omma for the bracelet."
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Back in her own room, Se Ri's mother picked up the letter Ri Jyeong Hyuk had left for her, along with the one she had penned for Se Ri.
"Omeonim, Se Ri will not have to endure another parting. This is my promise to you. I'll be leaving tonight. However, I do have a request: let her assume that the bracelet is from you. I'm sure you can manage her questions if any.
Give her the letter, when you believe she can handle my absence... Or when you think she cannot handle it. I'll leave the decision to you.
Regards,
Ri Jyeong Hyuk."
Though she didn't know what he intended, she gleaned that it wasn't time yet. She spent a breath of time admiring his honor to keep a promise she hadn't asked of him. Unawares, she found herself praying for him.
This time, for her daughter's sake.
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"Happy Birthday Se Ri!
I hope you believe today is a good day. It's a good day for me because your existence has given me much to cherish in life.
Do you remember the camera I'd handed you at the Sigriswil Panorama Bridge? Recently, I found a picture of you in there. What is this serendipity of finding each other time and again in our past? The vintage camera charm is for that memory we didn't even know existed.
I couldn't find a paraglide. You will have to make do with a hot air balloon. This is for the moment you dropped... no, descended into my life.
The anchor is for the first kiss that we shared in the boat and for the stretches of time I find myself anchored to thoughts of you.
The flower charm is for my Edelweiss.
The treble clef heart charm is for my music that you claim saved your life. Remember to hold onto that music always.
The snowflake is for the first snow that we watched together... and for the promise it holds.
There are many more memories for which I will fall short of charms to express what they mean to me. During good times and bad, reach for these moments, as I do often.
As Rumi wrote, if there is that field beyond all notions of right and wrong, I do wish to meet you there. In case I don't make it back to you, I want you to know that it wasn't for lack of trying.
Now & Ever, Your Ri Jyeong Hyuk."
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"Ri Jyeong Hyuk'sshi... I have been on this bench for hours now. I wonder why my feet won't move, believing you will show up if I waited for a tad bit more.
I know you'll find me someday... even if not today. I'll remain in wait until then."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Author's note: Thank you everyone who's stuck around... Do let me know where you think this story is heading... Vote up if you liked it.