Sara pov:
I woke to the sound of crickets in the distance. I opened my eyes to stare at the ceiling in a daze, remaining as I was for several long minutes. Sighing deeply then, I sat up and looked around the room I was in – it was spacious and unfamiliar.
I recalled what had happened before I had fallen unconscious. My brow twitched in annoyance at both Itou san and Kazama san but I resisted from letting it make me do something reckless. I stood up and walked to the doors on the side of the room. Sliding it open, I stepped out into the hallway that had a lush green courtyard in front of it. I looked on either side of the hallway and spotted no one. I picked a random side and began walking, hoping to find an exit. Once out of this compound, I would have to find the Shinsengumi's headquarters.
I gazed around as I walked instead of looking ahead. It wasn't the best idea because I stumbled back after bumping into someone when I took a turn in the hallway. I wasn't allowed to fall back or even step away enough before an arm slithered its way around my waist to hold me flush against the person I had bumped into. Gazing up, I met Kazama san's scarlet eyes and I frowned.
"Would you let go of me, please?" I asked with noticeable displeasure. I didn't bother struggling because he had proven that he was stronger than me and my attempts to break free from his hold would be futile.
"What if I don't feel like it?" he teased, smirking wide.
I clenched my jaw with a deep inhale to keep my composure, "Look, I don't like you holding me like this and I have to get back to the Shinsengumi. So, I'm asking you nicely – please let me go."
"I'm not going to let you return to the Shinsengumi. You will be coming with me to the west as my mate."
"Why are you so intent on making me your mate? Can't you find someone else to bother besides me and Chizuru?" I said, exasperated.
"I'm sorry to disappoint you but no, I cannot find anyone else who is worthy to be my mate. Pureblood female Oni are very rare these days and I find you to be the most suitable in terms of appearance, personality and physical strength," he said, calmly. He cupped my face and looked over my features silently before running his thumb over my lips. He gazed at my lips and leaned down to kiss me but I blocked him with my hand.
He maintained unblinking eye contact with me as he let his lips linger on my palm for a few seconds before he moved away. Smirking once again, he said, "I suppose I can suffice with that for now."
"I'm glad," I said, sarcasm dripping off my voice. "Can you let me go now at least? And perhaps give me something to eat? I'm really hungry."
"Of course," he said with a light chuckle. He was cautious though and took a hold of my hand to pull me behind him to another room where his two comrades were chatting. While Shiranui san smirked looking at me, Amagiri san gave me a chaste bow with his head.
Having summoned a maid, he ordered her to bring me food and then sat down next to the window. Much to my dismay, he tugged me down with a force I couldn't resist to fall onto him, my face against his chest and his arm resting on my lower back. Flustered and surprised, I was quick to push away from him and fall onto my rear in front of him.
"What the heck was that for?!" I hollered but he only chuckled.
"Is it wrong for me to wish to be close and playful with my mate?"
"First of all, I haven't agreed to be your mate. Secondly, I don't want to be close or playful with you," I said curtly.
"So harsh," he responded in amuse.
He took a hold of my wrist and tugged me forward again. But this time, I was turned around and made to land with my back against his chest. He wrapped an arm around my middle to prevent me from getting up from his lap and no amount of prying his hand made it budge in the slightest. With all of my attempts of getting him off me in vain, I finally gave up and leaned back against him with my arms folded, glaring out of the window.
"Jeez, look at you being so shameless," muttered Shiranui san. "I'm leaving. If you need anything, you know how to call me."
He walked out of the room and Amagiri san followed suit soon after, giving a bow to Kazama san and me. Just as they left, a maid walked in carrying food and sake. The low-height table was placed in front of us and while I reached out to the food, Kazama san reached for the sake. I satiated my stomach with the delicious food in silence and Kazama san remained silent as well while he drank his sake slowly. When I was done eating, I remained seated straight and not leaning back against Kazama san.
"Would you pour me some more sake, Sara?"
"No," I responded, flatly and immediately. "You have hands, don't you? You can pour you own sake."
He said nothing to my rude response but placed his sake cup down. He reached for the bottle of sake, poured himself a drink and took the cup into his hand again. He shifted slightly, forcing me to lean against him again despite a little struggling from my end. Once again, I gave up against his obvious overpowering and settled into him like he was a chair before looking out of the window.
I sighed softly. Why was it that I could never be with the people I cared about for an extended period of time? I loved my family but I couldn't bear to stay with them because of their overbearing expectations. I loved working at the hospital but I couldn't stay there because I got dragged into the past unexpectedly. I had just begun to grow deep affection for Harada san and I got ripped away from him by Kazama san. Would I ever get to settle in one place?
Well, Kazama san wanted me to be his mate and it meant being stuck with him for the rest of my life – that was one thing that hinted settling and permanence but it wasn't the kind I expected to end up with. I hadn't ended up with it yet but with the way things were going, it seemed to be a high enough possibility.
All said and done, despite Kazama san's annoying cockiness, he did seem like a decent man. I mean, he had never harmed me on any of our run-ins despite his stubbornness to have me as his mate no matter what. I mean, I had heard that he had been rather rough with Chizuru, punching her in the gut once to force her unconscious so he could kidnap her, but he hadn't been that way to me even though there had been plenty of such chances. Well, I had fought back too so perhaps I had given him less of a chance to be that rough, but still. When he had forced me unconscious before bringing me here, wherever here was, he had only applied pressure on the back of my neck – it wasn't in the least painful. And he was being surprisingly clingy now, gentle even, like he actually had feelings for me.
His clinginess was perhaps to make sure that I didn't escape but, somehow, it also felt immensely protective.
Goose bumps erupted on my skin at that thought. What in the world was I thinking?? Protective?! I can't believe I was feeling charmed by those delusional thoughts! Jeez, something was wrong with me!
"Are you cold?" I heard him ask. He unwrapped his arm from my middle cautiously and proceeded to rub my arm, as if trying to warm me up. I tilted my head up to meet his sharp, scarlet eyes that held curiosity. I watched him silently for several moments, many questions filling my mind.
I said nothing though and gazed out of the window again, settling comfortably with my head against his shoulder and his chin against my head. I almost felt loved in this position.
We sat in silence for an hour at least. I continued using him as my chair while he had eased out keeping me belted to him with his arm. He had finished two bottles of sake but wasn't drunk in the slightest.
"Hey, Kazama san?" I spoke, my voice barely above a whisper as I gazed at the midday sky.
"What is it?"
"Nothing in this world is permanent, you know? Nothing is constant."
"I'm unsure as to why you're telling me this," he said, a smile audible in his voice.
"You're so insistent on making me your mate but you fail to see that even your constant efforts can change over time. You've succeeded now but it might be short lived. You might like me now but you probably won't in a few days...then again, I have a feeling that you don't have any feelings for me to begin with and all this effort to make me your mate is to satisfy your ego or something." I chuckled at the end.
Kazama san took a moment to respond, "You are quite right in saying that nothing is permanent or constant. But as for your hypothesis, I have to correct it. Wanting a pureblood Oni mate was merely to satisfy my ego in the beginning, and to ensure that pureblood Oni did not become extinct. But over time, the goal has changed slightly."
"I don't understand," I said, finally moving away from him. I turned so I could look at his face as he sat.
"Chizuru would have been a much easier target if I merely wanted a pureblood mate – she's weak but is healthy enough to bear powerful offspring."
I twitched, deadpanning at how calmly he spoke about having kids. "How you can talk about having children with a straight face is still beyond me."
"Oh?" he smirked. "Does it fluster you?"
"W-what kind of question is that?! Of course anyone would get flustered by that!" I hollered, a mix of a glare and a blush on my face.
His smirk widened at my stuttering. I swallowed thickly feeling a queasy knot form in my stomach and noticeably paled. I resisted from letting out a sound while leaning back as Kazama san brought his face very close to mine, "Do you know that bashful women are quite attractive?"
His words only increased the intensity of my blush and, reflexively, I slammed my hand into his face to put distance between us. He clearly hadn't expected that and grunted when his nose was squished. He clenched his jaw and I suddenly panicked, worried about what he would say or do because of how rude I had been.
"Oh my goodness, I-I'm so sorry! I just reacted without thinking and-whoa!!!"
Yet again, I was tugged forward to land on Kazama san's chest. This time, however, I was stanidning on my knees and looking down at Kazama san. We were so close that our noses were touching. I blinked rapidly unsure of how to react and remained as I was with my hands on his shoulders for support while he kept me balanced with both of his arms wrapped around my waist. The smell of sake burned my nose and eyes but the depth of Kazama san's gaze had me frozen, like I had been put under a powerful spell.
I relaxed involuntarily, feeling drowned and almost bewitched by the depth of his eyes. The arrogance he usually had wasn't visible now. His eyes were...gentle, making my heart squeeze in some unknown emotion. He tilted his head slightly and I leaned in very slowly, my lips slightly parted and my mind becoming hazy. However, I tensed when gentle, golden orbs flashed in front of my eyes for a split second, replacing the red orbs I was looking into. Gasping, I pushed away from Kazama san and stood, backing away to put a good few feet distance between us. He was frowning at me, I was breathing heavily.
My eyes were wide as I watched him. What on earth was I about to do? I almost kissed him, didn't I?!
I exhaled deeply, looking to the side. I mentally scolded myself for what I had almost done. I shut my eyes momentarily to regain enough composure and ease the goose bumps that had risen on my arms before I met Kazama san's eyes.
"Kazama san, I'm sorry but this has to stop."
"Nothing has even begun yet," he answered smartly.
"Well, your effort to try and start anything has to stop." I ran a hand through my hair, "Look, no matter what you say to me about Oni having to stand together and continue the pure blood line, it's not going to make me change my mind."
"You speak as if you already have someone you wish to marry."
"I wouldn't go as far as saying marry but I do have someone I like...I think."
"I assume it is one of those Shinsengumi fools?"
"They're not fools!" I snapped. I clenched my jaw immediately to control my anger, "I'd like it if you don't talk so harshly about them. And, yes, the man I like is from the Shinsengumi."
"Oh?" His voice had gone low and his eyes had turned menacing. They were narrow and glowing. He stood and took slow steps towards me. I took equal steps back until I was stuck to the creaking wooden wall. Kazama san stopped with mere centimeters of gap between us and placed one arm on the wall over my head, hunched and looked piercingly into my eyes, "And who is the pathetic human you fancy?"
"Why should I tell you?" I retorted. I suppose talking back in this situation wasn't the best idea but it was hard for me to resist being a smartass.
"So I can slaughter them." A chill went down my spine at the bloodlust in Kazama san's voice, "If they are a Rasetsu, it's even more a reason to kill them."
"You will not touch any of the Shinsengumi," I hissed.
I had clenched my fists so tightly that I was sure my knuckles had turned white. My hands hurt but I didn't relax them because I knew my fear for Kazama san's ruthlessness would surely show. Chizuru had told me that Kazama san was powerful and rude and ruthless but I never thought that he was this cruel. I hadn't expected him to hate humans and Rasetsu so much that he would want to slaughter them. And I definitely didn't want to get on this guy's bad side – I had a feeling that he wouldn't mind hurting me too to get what he wanted if I kept being so...difficult.
"Even trembling in fear, you're beautiful," he said, smirking. I sucked in a sharp breath, mentally cursing for being found out, but maintained my glare. I shut my eyes tightly when he lifted a hand and cupped my cheek. His hand was large and callused and cold, and I noticeably shivered this time. "You won't be going back to the Shinsengumi. You'll be coming with me to the west and we'll be wed there, amongst the others of my clan. For now, rest."
He let go of me and I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. He walked out of the room, locking the door behind him. I slid down to the floor a little overwhelmed by what had happened but also angry and worried. I was worried that Kazama san would harm the Shinsengumi but I forced myself not to believe that because I was already in his custody.
But I didn't want to marry him! I didn't want to go to the west and live with him and his clan! I had to find a way to escape and warn the Shinsengumi and tell Harada san how I felt about him and...
How was I going to face Harada san though? After letting my guard down in front of Kazama san, so much so that I almost kissed him, how could I face Harada san and tell him I liked him? Wouldn't that be so pathetic of me?
Much against my desire to step to the window and see if I could escape from here, I remained sitting on the floor, my knees upright and my hands limps on the floor on either side of me. I stared at nothing in particular, my thoughts chaotic.
In the midst of the chaotic thoughts, I particularly recalled what Kazama san had said in response to my question of why he was so hell bent on making me his mate. I had made it obvious that I thought it was only his ego responsible for this decision but he seemed to think otherwise now, even though he confessed that wanting me as his mate was out of ego in the beginning. My comment on his casualness when mentioning offspring had changed the topic, leaving the former topic hanging. What would he have said about me and his wish for me to be his mate if I hadn't interrupted?
Darn it...I can't believe I interrupted him when he was about to say something possibly important! But I couldn't rewind time to that moment and I could only guess the very implausible answers he could have had.
After almost half an hour of sitting in a daze, I slapped my cheeks to snap out of my daze and unanswerable questions. There was no point in me stressing over jumbled thoughts at the moment. Rather than thinking about my dilemma now, I had to think of how useful I could be to the Shinsengumi, to help them fight their battles, heal from the wounds they suffered during their battles to bring peace and order to the Feudal Era. More than Kazama san, the Shinsengumi was important to me now.
Besides, I think worrying about my feelings had to be stopped.
"Come back to your senses, Sara," I said to myself. "You've only traversed here unexpectedly...there's no saying when you'll go home so don't get too attached to anyone while you help them."
I nodded to myself in acknowledgement of my thoughts. With those thoughts aside for now, I decided to find a way to escape from here and get back to the Shinsengumi. I stood and walked to the window to look out of it. It opened to an alley though a bit of the main street in front of the building was visible. I was on the second floor but I was confident that I would be able to land after a jump without too much trouble or injury. I climbed onto to sill and giving a huff, jumped.
I rolled as I landed to reduce the impact. I did scrape my knees and palms a little but they were healed in no time. I dusted my half yukata before moving to the main street. I peeked from the shadows once to make sure that Kazama san or his two friends weren't anywhere in sight before I walked out. I couldn't recognize the street I was on – it was a part of Kyoto that I hadn't been through yet. I decided on the next best thing – ask directions to the Shinsengumi's headquarters.
"Excuse me, could you please give me directions to the Shinsegumi's headquarters?" I asked when I had stepped up to a takoyaki stand.
"The Shinsegumi's headquarters?" he responded, a brow raised. "Now why would a young one like you want to meet with those men?"
"Oh, um, I'm an acquaintance of theirs, actually, so..." I trailed off, unsure of how to give a more detailed excuse for my meeting them. I wasn't sure if it was alright for me to tell anyone that I was their doctor so I steered clear of that for now.
"Hmm, it's kind of odd that Kazama san's wife would be acquaintances of the Shinsengumi when he pretty much hates them."
I clenched my fists at the man's words. I was both annoyed and apprehensive – to think that Kazama san had already told some people that I was his wife. Ugh! That noodle brain!
"Oh, I see you finally met my wife." I twitched upon hearing Kazama san's voice the very next moment. It was not more than ten seconds later that he was at my side, his arm around my shoulders holding me to himself, "I assume you haven't said anything unnecessary."
In the midst of my squirming to make him let go of me, I noticed him narrow his eyes at the man. The man, in turn, tensed, his eyes going wide momentarily. He averted his gaze immediately, shrivelling up slightly, "O-of course not, Kazama sama. I was merely asking her why she needed directions to the Shinsengumi's headquarters."
"So, she was asking directions, hmm?" he mused, gazing down at me. I cursed under my breath for getting caught and looked to the side. "You don't need to bother yourself with helping her anymore – I'll take care of the matter now."
Even before the man could respond, Kazama san was tugging me away from the stall. I didn't struggle until we had come to a stop under a sakura tree on a deserted street of the village. I shoved him away from me then – he didn't resist it – and I put a few feet distance between us.
"What do you think you're doing, telling people that I'm your wife when I clearly haven't agreed to it?" I hissed.
His answer was a chuckle. Somehow, it seemed halfhearted, like he was having second thoughts about what I had said in response to what he had told the takoyaki stall owner. It made me curious.
"So, you want to go back to the Shinsengumi. Are you so infatuated by that filthy human captain you fancy?"
"You're not going to stop insulting them no matter how much I tell you to, are you?" I muttered with a sigh. "And, yes, I do want to go back to the Shinsengumi but it's not only because I fancy one of the captains. I'm their doctor and I have the responsibility of keeping all of them in good health. With all the fights and complications ahead of them, it's important that I'm always close to them. I take my job very seriously, I'll have you know."
"You're a doctor?" he mused, seeming mildly surprised.
"What, are you going to be rude too and say I look like a quack?"
"Oh? Who was it that called you a quack?" he asked, smirking slightly. "I assume it's one of those Shinsengumi dogs but I'm curious to know who, specifically, so I can deal with them appropriately."
"That's not really any of your business, you know? You don't have to deal with anyone or anything." I shook my head, "We've gone off topic. Look, I really need to get back to the Shinsengumi. I don't have time to be playing your games so-"
"You think this is a game?" he interrupted. His eyes were narrow and dangerous, making a chill run down my spine. "You are clearly unaware of how humans are, how selfish, despicable, and biased they are towards everyone and everything around them. The only reason the Shinsengumi is letting you stay with them and protecting you is because you're useful to them, both as a doctor and as an Oni who can fight. I'm unaware if there are any other uses you have to them but the more you do, the more of an asset you are considered. If you didn't have any skills, do you really think they would have let you stay with them, let alone live after knowing their dirty secrets?"
My heart skipped a beat at the venom in his voice and the menacing glow his eyes had got. His words made me uneasy too – because they reminded me of how I was treated by the Shinsengumi when I first turned up in this era. They were suspicious and untrusting of me, threatening to kill me at the end of every sentence – especially Okita san. The only reason they did allow me to stay with them was my skills as a doctor, just as Kazama san had pointed out. When the fact that I was an Oni had been found out, they were just as apprehensive about that too. They had threatened me, interrogated me on that, their trust shattering so easily. They had seen me with suspicion, thinking of whether to kill me or not, all the more after seeing my first surgery in this era...the fickleness of the human mind was apparent.
Well, they weren't entirely wrong in being apprehensive, considering the circumstances.
"You don't know them enough to judge them, Kazama san. They are kind people and they've protected me and-"
His chuckling cut me off. He had his eyes closed, his lips curled up in a smirk. When he opened his eyes, they held disdain, "Kind people, you say? Tell me, Sara, are you aware of what that man, Sannan Keisuke is doing?"
I narrowed my eyes at his question, "What are you talking about?"
His smirk turned menacing again, "I'm aware that he is alive and researching the Ochimizu that Koudo san, Chizuru's father first created. But he's not doing it for anyone's benefit. He is only corrupted by his desire for power and insatiable bloodlust, his desire to create a powerful army of monsters. He is an insult to our kind, trying to be something that he is not and making others turn into Rasetsu as well. No matter what humans do, they can never be Oni and we Oni can never be human. With how our numbers are dwindling, it's only right for us to protect our kind, to be with our kind, living a life longer and stronger than any pathetic human will ever live."
"It just sounds to me like you're boasting about being an Oni. Okay, maybe we are a little special compared to humans but there's no reason to belittle them! The Shinsengumi is fighting for a just cause too! They're trying to bring peace to-"
"Bring peace?" he cut me off yet again. "Humans have constantly proven that they cannot be civilized, let alone peaceful. They only know how to solve their disputes and differences with war and bloodshed. All they do is destroy what they create – life, land, buildings...and for what? Only to prove that they are superior to their enemy. I have lived many years watching humans betray each other time and again solely for their personal benefit, and over baseless misunderstandings. With what proof do you say that the Shinsengumi wouldn't do the same? They are nothing more than ruthless men involved in violence and bloodshed, having a past of harming innocent people too, and are now continuing their research on the Ochimizu to expand their Rasetsu army. When they're doing so much for their personal benefit, how can you say that they really care about you, or Chizuru for that matter? What proof do you have that they won't suddenly suspect your loyalty or consider you useless and do away with you?"
His words had left me speechless. It had me confused and anxious but something inside me pressed me to not give up my trust in the Shinsengumi, "It is human nature to make mistakes, Kazama san. The Shinsengumi might have hurt innocent people before but now they're fighting to help bring about peace and order. They don't kill senselessly – they give the Choushu soldiers a chance to surrender so they can win without bloodshed. They want to make a difference...and I know that their concern for me is genuine. I trust them."
"So you are willing to let the Oni bloodline vanish because of your delusions," he stated, now looking displeased.
"To be honest, I didn't know that I was an Oni until you told me. I grew up as a human and that's given me the chance to understand human nature better than you. I'm not saying that what you said doesn't happen amongst humans but we are not as shallow as you make us to be."
"Do not speak as if you are human, Sara – it disgusts me." He sounded irritated and I took a step back in nervousness when I suddenly felt a flare in energy from him. I was surprised I even sensed it at all because it was gone the moment I felt it.
We maintained eye contact for several tense minutes until he closed his eyes with a deep sigh. When he met my gaze again, he seemed calm. After watching me for a few more moments, he turned and began to walk away. I blinked dumbly, watching his retreating figure and then relaxed. When he stopped walking suddenly, I tensed again. However, he didn't turn around when he spoke.
"You are far too naïve, Sara, though you will see in time that humans are not what you think they are. I am giving you one chance to see that on your own. But mark my words, whether you see humans for the despicable creatures they are or not, I will come to take you as my mate in a week whether you wish it or not. I will not have a pure Oni bloodline be defiled by humans, let alone by one of those filthy Shinsengumi dogs."
He walked away after that, leaving me by myself. I scoffed with a shake of my head, "I can't believe he just left me in the middle of nowhere. He could have at least given me directions to the Shinsengumi's headquarters."
My annoyance was replaced by uneasiness quickly though. I felt queasy as I recalled the words Kazama san had said about the Shinsengumi and humans in general. I knew it was human nature to choose sides based on advantages and it was even more common in this time period but...did the Shinsengumi really see me as nothing more than a pawn? Were their kind gestures, promises to protect me, and thoughts about me fake? Was what Kazama san said about humans and the need for Oni to stick together so we would be safe and respected true?
I massaged my temples with my eyes closed. I was so confused now, so overwhelmed by what Kazama san had said. I didn't know what was right or wrong, who to trust or where to go now. I just suddenly wished to curl up in a dark hole somewhere so I could drown in my thoughts without anyone bothering me. In fact, I even wished to suddenly be blessed with going home to the future where I belonged, to be spared from having to deal with the complications of this era. I considered finding a place where I wouldn't be bothered but I twitched and opened my eyes when I heard someone call out to me.
Looking ahead, I spotted Harada san and Nagakura san running to me with worried expressions on their faces. I couldn't hear what they were yelling to me because I was still feeling overwhelmed by my raging thoughts. A sharp headache had begun and I felt dizzy.
Just as Harada san reached me, I shut my eyes and collapsed to my knees, exhausted and relieved.
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:D I hope I was able to make you Kazama fans squeal at the pictures I put up. Of course, two of them were only his eyes, but they're still smexy, you gotta admit XD
I did quite a bit of studying when I wrote this chapter so I could understand Kazama better. His personality, his hate for humans, his hate for the Shinsengumi - all of them had specific reasons which I tried to make clear when he was lecturing Sara. I hope I was able to put across his personality well [without making it OOC] and I hope you're all more eager for interactions between him and Sara! Especially after the almost-kiss there *wink wink*
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