Warning: Rape is mentioned.
"Let me go, you assholes. I'll call Lord Jashin on all you bitches and he's gonna have himself a sacrifice on his hands if he finds out that you dumbfucks kidnapped one of his children."
The Hokage raised an eyebrow at the choice of words that were flowing out of the black haired girls mouth like a river. He coughed to gain her attention. The girl turned her head towards him and narrowed her eyes.
"You in charge here? I assume so. Listen you king of shits, I demand an explanation, now." She said. He raised his eyebrow higher, thinking. A few moments passed, the girl huffing.
She got a kunai out, surprising Hiruzen with how quick she was, and slammed it down on his desk. Faster than lightning, multiple ANBU got out of their hiding places and surrounded the girl.
She eyed them carefully before groaning.
"Listen bro, I'm not one for worthless chit-chat, so let's make this quick! Tell me why I'm here, and I won't murder your desk."
The Hokage began to wonder why she threatened to murder his desk of all things, but shook it off.
"Hurry up, gramps. I get that you're old, but still. You're the Hokage for a reason, aren't you? You should be strong." Said man eyed her, thinking of the situation at hand.
'Child or not, this girl is a threat. She may act like a fool, but needs to be taken seriously. Perhaps...'
"Child, I warn you, this is not a wise decision." He tells her, staring into her eyes. After a few seconds the girl sighs and puts her kunai back in her weapon pouch.
"This is taking forever! I wasn't even doing anything!"
"You were killing civilians." One of the guards that brought her in stated, eyes narrowed in distaste at her.
The girl dismisses him with a wave of her hand. "They were rapists, my guy. It's ight."
"And how would you know that?"
She shrugged. "They were trying to do some weird ass shit to girls. I seen them put drugs in their drinks! I mean, I always replaced them, yeah, but still." She rocked on the balls of her feet.
"And then I got word from my information source that the shitty bastards raped a couple people, so bam! Killed them. Problem solved, they won't be doing any more raping. World peace and all that jazz."
"How old are you, child?" The Third Hokage asked, staring her down. He found her a bit strange.
She shrugged. "Twelve." She took her kunai out of the desk, feeling everyone's eyes on her.
While she did agree she was nice to look at, she knew that wasn't why they were staring at her. She made sure to not let her guard down.
She knew how this typically went.
An unknown stranger, wandering near an important village? It indeed sounds suspicious, so she was prepared to make a run for it.
They'd either lock her up in prison or interrogate her.
Or both.
Still sensing their unease, she reassured them, "Relax, fuckers. I just like to sharpen my blades." She says as she took out a special rock and started to run it down her kunai.
"It makes them more precise." She tells them as she swipes the sharpening stone across.
She had mixed feelings about the sound it made. She found it quite pleasing, but also quite disturbing.
But the Hokage didn't see it to be pleasing.
/scree/
"Makes em more quick." She added, making sure to get every spot on the kunai.
She blew a strand of hair out of her face as she glanced up, making eye contact with an ANBU. It was hard to tell with the mask, but she knew they were trying to stare straight into her soul.
Good luck on that, I gave it away to Jashin-sama.
She snorted then returned to what she was doing.
/scree/
The screech sounding like nails on a chalkboard. It made the Hokage grimace as he stared at the weapon.
"And more deadly." He spoke up, watching as the girl looked at him and smirked.
"Yeah. You get it, gramps."
He grunted in reply. "Tell me about yourself."
The girl knew what he wanted. Information, it was pretty obvious. But she wasn't gonna make it easy for him.
Acting as if she didn't know what he was playing at, she asked, "Why do you want to know? It's not like I'm gonna live here."
He smiles a bit. "How about we make a deal?"
She rose a brow, liking where this was going. "I'm listening."
"You may live here with your own apartment. I'll pay you a sum of money for the first few months to make sure you're nice and comfortable. One condition is you will go to the ninja academy."
"There's gotta be more of a catch than that." She narrowed her eyes before smiling carelessly. "Don't take me for a fool, gramps."
It was a little late for that, of course.
He nodded his head at her suspicions. "Yes, there is more. For all of this to happen, you can not do any of the following things; You cannot give any information from the leaf; you cannot betray the Leaf village; you cannot kill or severely injure another Leaf member; and you cannot lead any certain doom to the Leaf village."
He narrows his eyes into a glare. "Do I make myself clear?"
She nodded her head, stroking her imaginary beard. "Like, totally clear, bro."
"You must also properly answer three questions per week. Personal questions will be asked. I will be the only one you tell your answers to unless I say otherwise."
The girl noticed how he shifted in his chair. She hummed. "What else is there, old man?"
As one of the guards who brought her here were about to scold her for disrespecting the hokage, Hiruzen shook his head in his direction.
The guard backed down, but proceeded to scowl at the girl. She noticed and smirked.
"If you do not cooperate and take this deal, I am afraid I must take drastic measures and force the information out of you. You are an unknown, and while you pose as a child, you could be something much worse." The Hokage stated before his voice got deeper.
"I will not allow any harm to come to the people of the Leaf Village. All threats will be taken care of properly. You're suspicious enough as is, wandering near Konoha's border, murdering people-"
"Again, they were rapists." Sid remarked. The shinobi in the room couldn't believe the audacity she had to interrupt their hokage.
"You're lucky for that, because otherwise, problems would have arised. Do you agree to the terms and conditions I have listed?"
The girl stayed quiet before speaking up. "Make it one question per week."
"Why one?"
She smirked. "You'll run out of questions if you do three each week. I wanna enjoy my stay here for as long as I can before you guys kick me out."
The Hokage closed his eyes. "You shall not be kicked out. If you happen to do something heinous, you will be executed or held prisoner." He opened his eyes.
"But how about one question this week, two questions next week, and three for the following?"
"So, basically I'll have to eventually answer three questions each week, but for this week, it's only one, and for the second week, it's only two?"
"Precisely."
"Hell yeah! This is gonna be fun. Wait-what if people come after me?"
The Third rose a brow, his interest skyrocketing. "Like who?"
She shrugs. "My old sensei. We're like best buds and all that, until we got lost on the path of life and got separated. He might come looking for me, he might not, depends if he's too busy with his work, or choppin' up bodies."
The Hokage grunted. "First question of the first week; who is your sensei?"
The girl smirked.
"A jashinast."
Hiruzen narrowed his eyes at her. "I said-"
The girl shrugged. "You asked who my sensei was, not his name."
"That's-"
"Can we hurry it up? I feel like eating so bad that I'll pass out!"
He sighed, knowing he will have to wait until next week to get a name. The hokage got some papers out and he put them on his desk.
"Here, this is your apartment number. In the meantime, here's some money to get food and whatever else you need. The apartment is already furnished."
The girl smirked. "Thanks, gramps. I think I might actually fucking like it here!"
The Third Hokage sighed. "And please do refrain from the cussing."
She grunted. "Not much fun, are you?"
He ignored her comment. "Fox," An ANBU stepped up. "Yes, my Lord?"
"Go fetch Kakashi Hatake."
The girl froze, this not going unnoticed by the other people in the room.
"Yes, Lord Hokage."
Hatake? Ah, shit.
"What is your name, child?" Hiruzen questioned.
"You already asked me a question today, remember gramps? So you gotta wait till next week to ask another." She glanced at the door.
"...You know what? I can find my own way to the apartment. I'm capable enough, and besides, I can always ask for directions! So anyways, I got to go so-"
"Hokage-sama? You requested to see me?"
".....Shit."
The Hokage looked back at her. "What is wrong, child?"
A bead of sweat went down the side of her face as she coughed and nervously laughed.
"Aha, would ya look at the time? I gotta go!"
"And do what?" Hiruzen rose a brow at how strange she began to act.
"Pssh! Find something to sacrifice to Lord Jashin, of course!"
He gave her a stern look. "You are under no circumstances allowed to kill innocent-"
"Ah ah ah!" She said. "You said that I'm not allowed to kill or severely injure the members of konoha! Not anything else."
Hiruzen sighed. "I suppose that is true, but-"
"Imma sacrafice a piece of toast!"
".....What?"
"Or a rogue shinobi! So, I gotta go and-"
"You." Kakashi finally spoke, scratching his cheek. "You look familiar. Have we met before?"
She laughed again. "Haha! No, I haven't seen you in forever! I mean-I haven't seen you at all! Haha! Uh-be one with Lord Jashin and his youth, and I'll see you later!"
'Youth?' He sweatdropped.
She started to run away, only to be stopped by Kakashi grabbing the back of her shirt.
'Dear lord it's another Gai.' He internally sighef before turning to his leader. "Anyways, Lord Hokage, you requested me?"
"Ah, yes. Kakashi, please be her tour guide. She is new here. And try to show her most of konoha, let her know where our trending shops and stalls are."
"Yes, Lord Hokage."
"I'll pay you your earnings when you get back."
"Yes, Lord Hokage."
"And Kakashi?"
"Hm?"
"Ask for her name."
"Ah-right...but why?"
"...She won't tell me."
"Oh...okay, Lord Hokage."
"Here is her apartment address." Kakashi grabbed the piece of paper from the Third.
Kakashi then dragged the girl out of the Hokage building. He narrowed his eyes at her.
"I know you from somewhere."
The girl scoffed. "You don't know me, don't be silly."
"Then why do you seem so familiar?"
"Maybe because you're comparing me with someone else?" She quickly suggested.
Kakashi stopped and thought about it, rubbing his chin. "Hmm....no, a face doesn't come to mind."
The girl scowled a bit. "Of course a bastard like him doesn't remember." She lowly grumbled. 'Probably too busy being famous and battling other people to remember fighting a kid.'
Kakashi rose a brow at that. "Hm? You say something?"
He knew exactly what she said, and the moment he gets back to his house, he's going through some boxes...
He got out his little orange book.
"Okay, let's start."
He started walking in a random direction, quickly sprouting things from his mouth, wanting to get this 'mission' over and done with.
"Oh, and what's your name?"
"Mm, it's Sid."