You: This is getting tiring. And painful. Why am I going for tops? I need to find someone submissive. Problem is, the only person in the building at the moment is Thor. Ok, that's not too much of a problem, I suppose. Let's hope he's a submissive teddy bear in bed.
And, as luck would have it, Thor is shirtless at the gym.
You: Ok, I can't pass on this now. And I definitely don't have the patience to masturbate so on with the sex.
Thor: Y/N! How are you doing?!
You: Ok, I can't, he's too innocent. Ok wait, firstly, I fucked Steve and secondly, since when do I have a moral compass? I do have a compASS though...worse. joke. ever. Hey, Thor!
Thor: So, what are you doing here?
You: Just here to see you work out for no reason considering it is impossible for you to lose your amazing muscles. You know, to quote cheesy porn, I'd like to work you out.
Thor: Do you wanna spar?
You: No you clueless dummy, I wanna...you know...insert my sword into your...scabbard.
Thor: Shouldn't you insert your own sword into your own scabbard? Besides, I don't have either.
You: Ok...you know, despite this situation NOT being okay, I'm saying ok a LOT. Let's just cut to the chase, Thor Odinson. I'd like to insert my phallic organ into the pit between the cheeks of your arse.
Thor: Oh my. Only problem with that is, I'm not a little bitch. I shall insert MY cock into YOUR buttocks.
You: First of all, that is very disrespectful to us bottoms. Secondly, slang? Wow, that's new. Moving on, let us commence sexual intercourse!
...286 words.