Brielle
The fucking level of disrespect last night was too damn unreal to be true, like honestly does this nigga have any fucking common sense? Less than two minutes before that thirsty ass trick walked into the studio were we not locked up in the closet fucking each other? Then once she walked in there his ass completely forgot I was sitting right across from him separated by plexiglass. His face lit up like a little boy seeing a butt ass naked woman for the first time through his bedroom window into his neighbors. Kissed each other as if it was as special as the first time and grabbed her as if they been together for years. When really they're just rekindling their "relationship".
Never the less however he grabbed, touched, and kissed her it was still fucking disrespectful! I would NEVER do some shit like to him or anybody for that matter, usually I would never let something like this get to me but right now I'm turnt the fuck up! Place yourself in my shoes, you just let your best friend smash you the closet after you been telling him his privileges to your body had been revoked. Then out of no where his ex – girlfriend that he obviously has deep feelings for walks in like it's nothing and kisses her and feels on her like nothing has changed between them! Who does that shit? Fuck out of here with that bullshit!
What is this clear liquid falling from my eyes? I know damn well I'm not fucking cry right now, this is some bullshit I have no reason to cry. This is the first time I'm crying over some dude, this shit ain't like me I always hold it together. Being emotional like this isn't me, I don't cry over bullshit or no nigga. But I guess there's a first time for everything, I shouldn't be letting this bother me like this. It ain't like we're together, it's not like anything should've been expected from this, and it's not like I should've expect him to realize what he did. After all he's still a punk ass little boy. What the fuck was I thinking that he would do better?
Over the past two weeks Chris has called and texted me but I just rather not have anything to do with seeing his face right now, even when he stops by the house I tell my parents to tell him I'm not there when really I'm peeking out the curtain in my room watching him leave out the driveway. We supposed to be doing this music video together but I don't want to see him. I honestly believe that he hasn't even come to terms with why I been M.I.A with him, maybe I'm just over thinking things but regardless I know I was disrespected and that's all I need to act like a bitch right now.
"Brielle, you have some friends here to see you?"
Friends? My momma should know damn well I don't have friends like that. Still I dried my eyes and came downstairs to see who she was talking about? It was a bunch of damn people I never seen people in my life.
"Can I help y'all?"
"You Brielle right?"
"Yesss.."
"Chris sent us purposely to get you, we need to shoot the video. You're suppose to be helping us choreograph right now."
"Okay, well the guy that you need to find is Chris not me."
"No, he hasn't shown up to set yet. Something about him being late, he said you would have to set up the moves."
"Maybe y'all didn't hear me clearly, I'm not the one y'all need to see baby."
"I heard you, now I need you to hear me. If you don't show up to set, we don't get paid."
That really sound like a personal problem, but if this is the game his ass want to play then fine. I'll show my ass out all over that set, it's suppose to be about me anyway.
I sighed, "Just let me freshen up." I closed the door and made my way up the stairs.
"Brielle, what's going on?" My mother asked midway up the stairs
"Nothing ma, why what's up?
"Alright now, enough time has passed for you to tell me what's going on. Why you have me keep lying to that boy telling him that you ain't here? Why his friends on my doorstep looking for you."
"Cause I just don't feel like talking to him, I don't want to be bothered by anyone it's not just him."
"Mhmm, baby I was born at night not last night. What did he do, come on tell me. I can't remember you coming to me about boy problems." My mom said prying information as she stood at the bottom on the stairs.
"I'm smarter than that, plus I never had any boy problems because I never kept them around long enough to be problems."
"I was young once I been hurt before, I cried just like you were."
"Pause, I wasn't hurt by anybody and yeah okay I was crying but I wasn't crying because somebody messed with me. It's just one of those days ma, that's it. I really need to shower now."
"But you been like this for the past two weeks in counting, let me tell you something. I gave birth to your ass and I'm also so woman, I can tell when you hurting. When I was around you age I had this guy that I liked a lot but I wasn't the type of person that lets her feelings be known, I'm not the one to make the first move. If you want me, you better make an effort to get me. The point being is that this guy was what I thought was my everything but he was only a wolf disguised in sheep's clothing. He toyed around with my emotions knowing that I had a thing for him. But once your father stepped into my life and the guy saw that he was losing me he started to change, but by then it was too late. I was much happier with someone who appreciate my affection and one kid later I'm still happy with someone who loves waking up to my face everyday and still appreciate him."
"Do you regret anything?"
"No, a woman should always know her worth. Now go, remember what I said."
That mothers intuition is serious, after that unexpected talk I finished my process and headed out the door.
"Places, places everybody! We doing good so far, let's get it and take it from the top. I want a run through of the whole group scene!" The director shouted.
Chris ass was supposed to be directing this but again, his ass is off busy with something else important. That's a shame, you hired all these people to come through to some thing you set up and you can't even show your damn face? These people knocking on my damn door, practically making me come out like I called them out today. They lucky I didn't go get my daddy gun upstairs and make they asses leave.
Regardless, I made the best of the day. Needing his opinion on the piece, I called him one damn time and he didn't answer. "Hey punk ass, real nice of you to step up this music video and not show you ass up! Don't ever in your life send your people to my house and you still not even show your ass up to the set! You really on bullshit man!" I ended my voice messaged and wrapped up the video.
Shit, I'm proud of myself. Without him this baby was a smash and everybody out here killed it! Chris a real sucker for not coming through, I was going to be nice once I got here but I see we still with the shit!
The video shoot took up the rest of my day, before the mall closed I bought a couple of things and sat in the food court just thinking about whatever came to mind. I looked around at everyone having a good time, smiling, taking a moment out from their day to be with somebody while I'm sitting here all alone. I took care of some other things before I went home and found out some news that I wasn't ready for. Once I got up in my room I turned on the t.v and boom there was his face. Even when I'm away from him he's still around, on MTV there was a special about him called This Is How I Made It.
Five minutes into the show I began laughing my ass off as I curled up with my pillow, as he was talking about his life there was pictures of him ranging from age 4 – 14 as he talked about the different aspects of his life. Once a picture of him in braids popped up I was dying, I haven't seen that Chris in a long time. Thank god he shaved that shit, it would not be a good look for him now. I was in awe when a picture of him and his mother popped up, it was so cute. As I was watching him on t.v he just so happen to call me.
"Hello," I said nonchalantly.
"Are you home?"
"No," I said turning off my light.
"You lying I just saw you turn off your light."
Shit, I laughed "What do you want?"
"Obviously I want to talk to you, you going to let me in or what?"
Chris
"So you really were avoiding me this entire time, I see how it is now." I smiled lightly as I finally made it up to her room.
"Alright you see me now, what do you want?"
"I just want to know what's up, one week we cool and kicking it but the next you disappear and don't say nothing to me. I been calling you but your phone go straight to voicemail, we playing games with each other now? I don't answer the phone for you, so you don't answer for me?"
Brielle instantly went out, "Nigga you couldn't even show up to your video shoot YOU set up, the fuck?"
"My bad, I had some last minute business to handle."
"You always got something to damn do!"
"I'm sorry, I heard it went great."
"Look Chris," Brielle sighed taking in a breath. "Ain't nobody playing games with you, you clearly came here for something now I'm not going to say this shit to you again what do you want?"
I pulled her down on my lap trying to be all sweet thinking maybe she'll loosen up and just come out and say what the hell she's holding me out on.
"We were good with each other two weeks ago Brielle now what's wrong? I know we had a good time at the studio," I said with a smirk. "After that you went M.I.A, if I did something wrong you damn sure would've told me by now so what is the problem?"
She shoved me as she got up from my lap. "If you have to ask then you should already know the answer. If you're not here to apologize then you need to hit the door."
"Apologize for what?"
"Goodbye Chris," Brielle point ouside as she had the door opened.
I stood up and closed the door. "No fuck that, what the hell did I do?"
"Excuse me, who the hell are you talking to?"
"I'm talking to you, you always constantly do this shit! How the hell am I suppose to know what I did wrong if you don't tell me, you want to play these games but never like the results."
"You know, you've done a lot of shit in the past that I don't like but what you did to me at the studio was fucking disrespectful! I seriously want to smack the shit out, I would never do some shit like to you in my life." Brielle went in getting real emotional.
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"Did you forget that we fucked each other in the closet and not even within two minutes? After that you bring that bitch in the studio and kiss her right in front of me and wrapped your hands around her? Are you fucking serious? That shit was blatantly disrespectful, you did that shit deliberately." A tear slowly slid down her face as she got to it.
"Brielle I didn't do that on purpose, I didn't know she was even coming. I didn't know she was going to be there till after you left and I got a chance to check my phone, she texted me while we were making the song. And last time I checked she kissed me, I placed my hands on her waist to move her out of my space. Why would I purposely do that shit to you if you were in the fucking room with us?"
"Because you're a dick like that! I should've just kept my legs close then I wouldn't have cared, but since I was willing to take it that far with you. Now I got to see you throw that shit in my face I'm regretting it big time."
I sighed. "Aight so looking at it from your point of view, okay it was messed up for me to do that. But I didn't do it purposely and I would never do something like that especially if I know it would hurt your feelings. So I'm sorry for doing that, you know I love you and I would never want to do something that would make you cry. This is first time I ever seen you cry around me."
"At the rate your going I'm sure it won't be the last, you trying to play me for a fool right now and I'm not buying it. This time I'm dead ass serious I'm cutting you off, you really fucked up."
I inhaled a deep breathe trying to calm down. "I fucking apologized already for something that I had no control of, what more do you want from me? I didn't ask her to kiss me. I didn't force you to do anything or be objected to that, it takes two. You had a decision and you made yours, I don't know what else to say to you because in your eyes I'll always screw up. I can't do anything right for you even when I try, even when I succeed it always goes unseen by you. You are a bitch, and that's putting it nicely."
That was not the right thing to say but there was no other way for me to word it. From my stand point I did nothing wrong. I had no damn idea that she was going to show up and do that, I can understand why she's mad but to continuously try and tell me I was wrong for it when it wasn't my fault is bullshit. I'm taking control of my actions, but it wasn't my fault that night. Why would I want to place Brielle in that type of situation, that just complicates things between us.
She was trying to say something but it got caught up on the tip of her tongue, instead her tears began to fade away and her face got red.
"Get the hell out my house, that's last time you will ever disrespect me. Out of all the people I would never expect you to treat me like this, I had enough of your bullshit you do nothing but bring me down. You just lost the only person that cared and looked out for your punk ass like nobody else would, get out!" She shouted.
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