Step one: a seal to make someone look dead
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"This is stupid." Zabuza growled.
"Your hair's stupid." Naruto shot back without looking up from the seal he's making.
Zabuza narrowed his eyes at him, hand already gripping his sword when Kakashi placed a firm hand on his shoulder.
"Give them even a scratch and I'll personally show you my version of Hell." Kakashi said happily.
Zabuza snorts at the threat but lets go of his weapon. "Such mother-hen. How will your genins survive when they leave the nest?" he sneered.
"Maa, they still have a lot to learn so they aren't leaving the pack just yet."
Zabuza raised an eyebrow at the term but didn't comment on it. Shifting his gaze back to the three Konoha genins, the scowl returned to his face when he was reminded about the plan.
"Why the fuck are we even doing this? Can't we just go kill the guy and be done with it already?" he grouched unhappily.
Sakura looked up from the seal she was making to give him a flat look. She then clicked her tongue before going back to her seal, clearly dismissing him.
Zabuza hadn't even realize he was reaching for his sword if not for Haku stopping him.
"While your plan may sound nice and easy, this whole thing isn't that simple," Sakura said without looking up. "Even if we kill Gatō now, we still don't know where he hides his money. We don't know if he even have the money he promised you Zabuza-san, which is why we're doing this plan so we can punch him where it hurts," she explained patronisingly, as if Zabuza is a genin who had just started out instead of a full-fledged jounin that had seen his fair share of bloodshed and war.
'At least she's polite,' Zabuza thought to himself as he let Haku pull his hands away from reaching towards his weapon again.
"Don't mind them. They're snippy when they do seals," Sasuke signed at him before he swatted Naruto gently at the back of his head.
"Fucking ow, bastard!" Naruto huffed. When Sasuke gave him a hard stare, he grumbled bitterly under his breath before setting aside an unfinished seal.
"No shit." Zabuza deadpanned. "And why are you not doing anything?"
"I don't really have any talent in seals like them."
"Sasuke's too impatient to do the type of seals we're going to use," Kakashi explained. "He can do basic seals but that's it. So now he's the designated Caregiver in the trio."
Sasuke rolled his eyes at that. "Someone has to. Remember what happened when we left them alone?"
"Ah yes, they nearly passed out from hunger at Naruto's house." Kakashi smiled fondly. "They also nearly blew up the neighbourhood too. The Sandaime almost had a heart attack when I told him. Good times."
Zabuza exchanged looks with Haku. "And I thought we're the ones who have issues." he groused. Haku just laughed lightly at that.
"Done!" Sakura and Naruto shouted simultaneously, holding their seals up with a proud smile.
Kakashi gave both of them a pat on the head which gave him two beaming students in return.
"Well then!" he turned around to face the two Mist-nins, cheerfully holding up Naruto's seal in front of him. "Who's ready to be dead?"
"For the record, I hate all four of you."
"Noted and ignored!" Kakashi said cheerfully and slapped the seal on Zabuza without any warning.
Immediately, Zabuza's whole body seized up, twitching erratically for a few seconds before he went completely slack. Carefully, Haku placed two fingers on his neck and frowned when he couldn't find a pulse. He then placed a hand on Zabuza's chest, channeling his chakra through it.
The four Konoha-nin waited with bated breath.
"It's faint but I can feel Zabuza-sama's pulse." Haku informed them.
"Oh, thank Sage! I was afraid it might go badly and kill him by accident!" Naruto said in relief.
Sakura whacked his head. "You don't just say that out loud, idiot! It's rude!"
"She's right, Naruto. If you're not careful, you might hurt their feelings without knowing it." Kakashi agreed.
"It's called common courtesy for a reason, dobe." Sasuke sighed.
Haku just looked at the fake-dead Zabuza in regret. "Zabuza-sama, I don't think I can go on without you. I can't be the only sane person here."
Zabuza just stayed fake-dead in answer.