WASSSUP MAH BITCHES!!!! I know you all are probably pissed as fuck!! I haven't updated in forever(like three months *sobs*) But i have a good excuse!! I promise!! School has been fricking hectic, drama, hanging out with friends, i was sick, got a concussion, and ALL this other junk over the course of three months!!! (and thats not even going into details!!!!) So honestly you all should be glad that I'm even alive!! *skillfully dodges the knife thrown at my head* WHAT!! I'm a ninja bitches!!!.....
Now after I say this I know you all will probably try to hunt me down... wait i mean you'll have another reason to... buuuuuttt... I've had this chapter done since last sunday *hides behind Zayn* (you wouldn't wanna hurt Harry's best gay friend would you O.o) and as much as I've been dying to update i couldn't because: 1. I'm recovering from that Concussion so I've been extremely tried and dizzy 2. Due to said concussion and the week i was out with some kind of virus (don't ask me why i didn't right then i could barely sit up soooo yeeaa...) I had loads of school work and tests to make up and 3. I say after school everyday except for fridays for a different thing EVERY FRICKING SINGLE DAY! and we just had our first robotics competion today :3. So after saying that I believe that should be enough to explain why I've been MIA for the last two weeks.
And I know you all want me to shut the hell up so you can read but i have to warn you... this was NOT properly edited (but is it ever really? lolz :3) but it was read over by my friends Tessie and Cheewe XD (Love yall cause i know you reading!!! XD).... This chappie is dedicated to ALL of you for being so fricking patient with me!!! but also Fakename for helping me come up with AWESOME prank ideas :3 Oh and explaining the song... Cheewe (and/or Tessie) told me about it and I listened to it and it's HILARRYUS!!! plus its like semi Harry's feelings XD...... I love you all SOOOO fricking much and to prove it.... Here's the first part of Prank Week :3 (DONT KILL ME!! >.<)
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Monday
0500 hours
Something was pressed against my lips. Something soft. Something moving. Lips? Didn't I just have a dream about this... I opened my eyes slowly afraid of what I might find, but also afraid the feeling and image might disappear if I did.
It was exactly what I'd hoped and feared. My green eyes opened to two beautiful blue ones. He squeezed his legs slightly at my awakening, letting me know he was straddling my waist. A few seconds later he pulled away and smiled down at me. I waited to protest or something but that'd seem weird. Then again he's not one to judge, he was just kissing me in my sleep!! Isn't that like rape or something?!!
"Happy Prank Week Hazza," he whispered his normally soft voice slightly husky from morning grogginess. He pecked my lips once more. What the hell?? This is not normal, sure we banter and play around but I can't recall him waking me or any of the other lads like this. Unless you're counting the love bites- I don't get that one either. It took me a second, but the words he'd said finally registered in my mind- like you're not slow in the morning. I wanted to smile at the thought of finally getting to pull our pranks we've been planning forever, but then again I didn't want to ruin the moment. Out of nowhere he started chuckling.
"What's so funny?" I asked, trying not to stare right into his eyes.
"Your face."
"Excuse me?!" I acted offended.
"You're so cute when you pout," he flicked my bottom lip, which was apparently further out than my top.
"Yes, yes I know I'm cute, it's like a curse or something. But I'm not just cute I'm also a sexy beast who is cute on the sides when he's not thinking," I winked, despite how stupid that sounded. Is it even possible to be a cute sexy beast? I don't know, but now there is.
Lou rolled his eyes, "Well come on Sexy Beast, get up we have to get to work." He slapped my bare thigh, quite hard I might add.
"OW!" I looked at him in disbelief, to which he simply shrugged. "Twat," I grumbled finally taking my eyes off of him. "Umm how early is it?" I ask, just noticing how dark it was in my room.
"Five o'clock! Now up you lazy Brit!" says the boy that would rather ask someone half across the room to the remote on the coffee table rather than just leaning forward and getting it. Yes, I'm the lazy one- note the sarcasm.
"FIVE?! Really? Who do you think I am? Lima be... I mean Liam?!" How did I confuse Liam with a lima bean? Like I said I brain doesn't work when I wake up, or early in the morning... Wait did I say that?
"Yes, now be quiet and get up. We have stuff to do!"
"Yea, and I have stuff to do right here," I reply, closing my eyes and snuggling back into the comfortable, fluffy pillows management left for us. Aren't they the best?
"Fine," I opened my eyes quickly and looked at him strangely. Louis never takes no for an answer, EVER. Normally by now he'd be threatening to pull his own prank on me, talking some mess about obeying the Carrot King, bouncing up and down, or dragging me off the bed, to make me wake up. Is he sick or something? Eh, I'll check later, if he's letting me go back to sleep I'm going to sleep. I closed my eyes, beginning to drift almost immediately. Not even thirty seconds later I hear Lou's voice again.
"Oh yea and Babe," He said using one of his nicknames. Normally I'd smile at him calling me Babe, but that'd be when I wasn't pissed at him for keeping me up. I eventually answered him with an annoyed 'hmm?' "Your dick is poking me in the arse."
My eyes shot open once again staring straight in to his amused ones. Did he really just say that? Please tell me he didn't say that.
He uttered a quick 'love you' and hoped off the bed and ran out of the room before I could even sit up. When I did I realized he was telling the truth, I had morning wood and he was most likely sitting on it. How the hell didn't I notice that?!!
This is too much like my dream, only there things went a different way- explaining my case of morning wood. That was one dream I'd rather not have woken up from, but it got kinda weird when Zayn walked in on us. It's not like anything really bad happened, but his face was just... I can't explain it. Hurt, disgusted. What does that dream mean anyways? Don't all dreams have some under lying meaning or some shit like that? Still I'd rather have stayed sleep. After having a dream like that and then having to face reality is somewhat... painful.
Lou's still not mine, and I can't hold him, or kiss him, or anything of the thing I want to do, because unlike in my dream world he's not mine. Maybe I should talk to Zayn about it again, he'll probably be able to help. The only semi good thing about this morning so far is the fact that I'm pissed at Louis so I won't be as focused on the things I'd like to do to him and more on what I'm going to do to him and the others... ok that didn't sound right.
I start to get up, before remembering my not so little problem. Go down, Go down damn it!! I think to it, but of course to no avail. Think of something nasty, gross, repulsive.... Old lady boobs (A.N.- Insert horrified face here!), Old lady boobs, old...
Oh, gawd I think I just threw up a little, but that definitely got Hazza Jr. to go down- for the most part. After my minor inner conflict, I hop up and walk to the door, plotting my revenge on Louis all the while. I turned towards the bathroom and for the third time since I woke up came face to face with the person I wanted to see the most and least at that moment.
"What do you want?" I snap.
"Ummm, to recommend not to walk around naked when you have a semi-hard on," his cheeks flushed pink while he looked off somewhere behind me. Oh, so now he's shy? Just a second ago he was sitting on it.... Wait that doesn't sound right either, but you know what I mean!
"I will do as I please. Now if you'd excuse me..."
"Oh well if you're going to the bathroom, take this and put it on that way we'll be matching." He handed me a small stack of folded clothes obviously new, otherwise they'd probably be balled up knowing him. Wait, has he been dressed this whole time? I feel slow now, well again. I took in his outfit, white shorts and a light blue tee with darker blue stripes.
"Please tell me it's not that exact outfit." Strips are not my thing, I'll leave that to Louis.
"Awn come on babe don't you wanna be matching?" He clapped his hands together and brought them to one side of his face with this big grin the whole time.
"You are so gay, you know that right?"
"Only for you," he winked.
I rolled my eyes. Don't say stuff you don't mean.
"What was that?"
Crap did I say that out loud? "Nothing," I rushed, brushing past him to the bathroom at the end of the hall.
"Hurry!"
"Yea, yea, yea," I wave him off, closing the door. After successfully blocking him out, I quickly got ready and took care of the rest of my... problem. Before exiting I take one last glance at the mirror. This is gonna be epic.
Monday
0559 hours
"And Five." Me and Louis were now counting down the seconds to six o'clock. Liam said nothing before six, but that didn't mean we couldn't set up our pranks it just meant that we couldn't set them in motion until six. Therefore we shall oblige by Liam's request.
"Four." We are more than likely going to have to run after this, but being the prank masters we are, we already have a plan for that.
"Three, Two..." The house was filled with the sound of me and Lou's voices screaming out, "ZAYNIE POO!!! YOU'RE MIRRORS ARE MISSING!!!", "NIALL!!! THEY TOOK THE FRIDGE!!", and "LILI!!! GET UP THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!!!!", followed by three simultaneous shrieks.
"Guess we were just a little off huh?" Lou said, just before we heard our bromance name, Larry, yelled from upstairs.
"And that's our cue," I grinned, moving to the side of the stairs just time to avoid being hit by the three soaking wet boys that came running down.
"GOOOD MORNING SLEEPING BEAUTIES!!" Louis cooed, earning scowls from all three boys. I simply sat back and enjoyed the view.
All three boys were soaking wet from head to toe. Liam was shirtless and covered in love bites from head to the rim of his trakies- which were sagging dangerously low due to the fact that they were soaking wet-, his hair sticking up in odd angles in the front due to him pushing it up to keep the bangs out of his eyes he looked like he was shivering despite how warm it was in the house- well the water was pretty cold, but at least we didn't use sea water... this time. Zayn was also shirtless but instead of love bites, random colored words and pictures littered his body barely leaving any of his tan skin showing I may have even traced his delicious looking abs just for the fun of it... wait I did not just describe Zayn's abs as 'delicious looking'. Gawd, what's wrong with me first that weird dream and now this?? My hormones must be acting up again- I hate being the youngest. But back to the view... His black hair was plastered to his forehead and I have to admit he looked quite nice with his hair down but he'd never wear it down, sadly- great there I go again. Unlike Li, instead of wearing trakies he was clad in only his boxers. His extremely tight, extremely wet, almost too low on his hips boxers- very nice view. Niall he was, well and entirely different story. Instead of being shirtless like the other two he was clad in a pink baby doll style dress, his face was smudged with pretty-messed up- makeup -water proof of course- and hair pinned up messily with some random little bows. To top it all off they did not look amused at all in fact they looked completely pissed- and I don't even think they've seen themselves yet. One word, Hilarious.
I grinned smugly, proud that our grand opening was a success, but at the same time I found it hard to keep my eyes off of Zayn. Why is this so difficult? Unconsciously, my eyes drifted over to Louis. Standing there with a look on his face where you could tell he was trying his hardest not to laugh is ass off. His already unruly hair fell covering his tear filled eyes and his face was extremely red probably because of the huge smirk he had on his face trying to contain his laughter. His clothes fit him perfectly showing off all his curves. Yes, it's weird for me to say he has curves but have you seen this boy's ass! So what I'm an ass man, get over it.
I bit the inside of my lip as my eyes flickered back over to Zayn. I barely managed to withhold a gasp. Didn't I JUST see him? I feel myself harden a little... I look back at Lou. It only gets worse. SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! I need a safe spot. I glance around the room looking for anything to keep my attention off of the two insanely sexy boys in front and next to me. My eyes land on Liam. Damnit! He's not helping either, and I don't even feel the way I do about Lou and sometimes Zayn with him. My eyes move to the last person in the room. The Leprechaun. I grin again once I see him in that ridiculous outfit, my mind momentarily off my problem.
"What are you grinning at styles?" Niall growled glaring sinisterly. Normally that would've been enough to get me to stop smiling considering he's the only one who's seen me and Zayn's little episodes and let's face it that little leprechaun can be frickin' scary when he wants to be.... Just not when he's dressed as a girl.
"Nothing much Nila," I snickered, trying to keep myself from laughing.
"What did you just call me?" he said between his teeth.
"Why I called you Nila my dear," I said in a 'prim and proper' voice, "What else would I call a lady of your elegance?" By now the other three lads were laughing their asses off; Lou had gone so far as to roll on the floor with tears rolling down his cheeks. He is so special sometimes but that's what makes him, him.
Ni didn't think it was so funny though. His entire face was flushed scarlet red as he looked down at his attire. The look in his eyes was one of complete hatred and anger. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH!!" he shrieked before lunging at me, tackling me to the ground. Before he could kill me or even land any punch he was pulled off of me kicking and screaming.
Right about now I should be pretty scared, right? I mean one of my best friends, legit, tried to kill me but instead of being shocked like you'd expect, I'd burst into another round of laughs. He looks like a little girl! At the moment he was being held off the ground by Louis and kicking and flailing his arms causing his dress to go everywhere.
"Calm down Nila!! As much as I'd love to see Curly here get beat by a skirt I can't allow that since he's on my team. Plus rules state as long as it's still prank week you cannot use violence to fight back!! You have to use a prank," Louis smirked, some team mate -note the sarcasm.
"Screw you," Niall says once he's finally sat down, then he heads back up the stairs.
"Honestly what the hell guys," Liam says causing our attention to go back to him. His cheeks were slightly pink most likely caused by his laughing, shivering, and his obvious anger.
"Weeeeelllll-" Louis started, before I stood up, cutting in.
"You all said we couldn't do anything before six o'clock soooo we started at six on the dot," I smiled sweetly at him.
He gave me this look before letting out a little sneeze, "Forget it." He stomped up the stairs no doubt to get ready like Niall.
Zayn glared at me for a minute before getting up and walking over to me. He leaned up on his tippy toes and whispered huskily, "You will pay Styles." After stating that he quickly stomped back up the stairs to get changed, but not before his hand lightly brushed against my crotch. I sucked in a small breath, hoping Louis didn't notice. Luckily for me he wasn't even in the room anymore.
How does Zayn do that? It's like he knows exactly how to get me all worked up. Maybe it's because he's gay and therefore knows what would turn another guy on- as far as I know his last relationship was fairly successful, until the incident- or maybe I'm just sex deprived. Yea it could be either of those, and they make perfect sense- the second would definitely explain the hormones. Either way it didn't help my problem, at all.
"HAZZA!!!" I was snapped out of my haze by Louis yelling at me.
"What?" I ask confusedly, trying not to laugh at the exasperated look only his face. Ugh why does he have to be so adorable? Wait, when did he get back in here?
"We're making breakfast," he smirked. The others never learn do they? I think whilst returning Lou's smirk.
"Well then let's get cooking!!" I whisper yell, already pumped for the rest of the day.
"Well, we could be already if you weren't too busy staring off into space after Zayn left." He smirked knowingly- yet again. Wait, knowingly? What would he know? There's nothing to know.
"Alright well quit staring at me like a creeper and let's get to work," I fire back giggling at his reaction. Did I just giggle?? Damnit, I'm acting like a girl already! Soon I'll be calling people 'Hun' like Zayn does wont I? I dragged him into the kitchen, really wanting to get to work before the other lads got back down here. Even though we most likely had a good hour if they were planning on sticking together like they normally do.
I quickly grabbed all the ingredients we would need to get "cooking". "Cooking" because Louis is horrible in the kitchen, I mean he burnt water! Ok well not exactly water, but the tea kettle, because all the water had evaporated, in the oven... let's just say I was plenty pissed and haven't allowed him in the kitchen since. Today would be the only exception, but what could go wrong?
"Haz??!! Hazza??!! HARRY HEEELLLP!!!" I heard Lou whine/scream. I turned around from where I was preparing the meats. Oh God, why did I jinx myself? Louis was standing there practically fighting the electric blender as it splayed pancake mix from the bowl to, well, everywhere.
Ah, shit. Why the hell did I put him on pancake duty? That was like the stupidest thing I could've done.
I quickly ran to unplug the blended, but not before it entirely came out of the bowl and covered us in batter. I glared at him the best I could for ruining my kitchen, until we both burst into a laughing fit.
"Hazza you have a little," he made a strange motion with his finger, "Everywhere.."
"Well yea it's YOUR fault," I pouted.
"Awwn you want me to clean it off," he cooed. I nodded and watched as he sashayed over to the sink, grabbed the hose and... He wouldn't!
"Lou don't you dare!"
"Dare what? Haz?" He took a step forward, which I countered by stepping back. This continues until I was pressed against the counters, nearly sitting on them. Something or someone must really have it out for me today, this isn't helping my problem, in fact it's making it much worse. I really don't think I'll be able to last much longer with these two around.
"Louis I swear if you..." I trail off, snapping my eyes shut as I see him grin and put his finger on the trigger. I feel something wet on my cheek, but it's.... Warm? What? I open my eyes and realize it's was Lou licking my cheek.
"Eeeeeew!! Gross!" he shrieks running to sink and dramatically spitting out the pancake batter.
"You're telling me?! You just licked my cheek!!" I exclaim, shocked that he actually just said and did that.
"You know you loved it," he said cheekily, turning around to wink at me. "But seriously they should make pancake batter taste better."
"Well you are exactly supposed to eat it raw sooo yea they weren't worried about that tasting good," I rolled my eyes.
"But still....." He whined.
"Come on Boo we still have to cook breakfast," I stated ignoring his pout of protest. After finally convincing him that the mixer wasn't going to attack him anymore, we turned back to the task at hand.
"Are you sure you still want to cook?" Lou asked staring wide eyed at the mess he caused and the smoke rising from the pan I was going to put the meats in.
"SHIT!" I raced over to the stove quickly picking up the smoking pot by the handle and running it under some hot water. I just grateful that this skillet actually had the covering on the handle, one time one of Zayn's sisters- Doniya I think- thought it'd be nice to get me one of those "old fashion" cooking sets. I agree that it was.... Until I nearly burnt off my hand because I forgot the entire pan was made of metal and I needed over mitts to pick it up. Let's just say, it was not a good time.
"I'll take that as a no," the blue eyed boy smirked, looking rather comical considering he was covered in pancake batter.
I glared at him playfully, "Can it Batter-Boy."
"Do not insult my Battery Goodness!!" he commanded snapping and rolling his neck like a girl. "And besides you shouldn't be so quick to attack when you have your own problems."
"What are you talking about?" I ask honestly confused.
"Don't be so modest, those shorts really aren't leaving anything to the imagination."
My eyes widen when I realize what he's talking about, I didn't think it was THAT noticeable. "Wha-what do you me-mean?" I try to stay clam but obviously failed, I could feel the heat rush to my face.
He looked at me with that 'you expect me to believe that' look as he hopped up on the counter. I couldn't even bring myself to tell him to get down, I was still in shock. How did we get on this topic so quickly? "I'm not stupid Hazza. You're blushing like a high schooler, stuttering like an idiot, and not mention you look really uncomfortable in those shorts. It's obvious you have a crush." He smirked a little before continuing, "So who's the lucky fella?"
"I don't know what you're talking about Lou, and you know we should really cook something before the lads get down here you know. We're gonna have a long day ahead of us." I say desperately trying to change the subject.
"Don't try and change the subject Haz. You're making it that much more obvious. I'm just curious. And I'm your best friend right? So you should be able to trust me. You trust me right?" he asks, his voice going soft. I hesitantly nod my head. "Then why won't you tell me who's the lucky guy who caught my Hazza's eye? I promise I won't be mad. I'm not a homophobe or anything like that."
"Why do you assume it's a guy? Huh?" I quip; somewhat upset that his first thought was that my crush was a guy, even if it's true.
"Well considering that there are only guys in this house and you've been acting weird since yesterday. Not to mention while you were sleep you mumbled something along the lines of 'you knew I liked him.'" I blushed even deeper, damn my sleep talking.
"You know we should really get cooking," I try to turn around so I could get out of this situation. Unfortunately he grabs my arm and pulls me over to where I'm right in front of him.
"Answer me."
I let out a shutting breath as I feel his breath on my face. We're close. Too close. I'm in between his legs and our faces are inches apart. I somehow find the courage to ask, "Why?"
His eyes darken slightly as he searches me face. "Is it Niall?"
I feel tiny under his gaze, even though I'm still taller despite him sitting on the counter. He's hardly ever this serious, so he's really starting to scare me. "Nu-no..."
He stares deeply into my eyes, and after what seems like an eternity, he speaks again. "Is it Liam?" His eyes lighten ever so slightly.
I gulp, "No"
He hesitates. So many emotions appear on his face, some so fast I'm not even sure if I see them. His eyes flicker from my eyes to my lips then back up to my eyes, I see him lick his lips ever so slightly. The distance between us seems to be getting smaller. I brace myself for the next question. "Is it me?" He questions slowly, our noses bumping now.
My breathing becomes shaky. I'm so fricking scared right now. Should I say yes? What would he do? I know he said he wasn't homophobic but that doesn't mean he'll like me back. This tension is killing me, not to mention I can feel myself getting harder by the second- it's not my fault he's so fucking sexy, especially right now. "No," my voice comes out small and vulnerable. It's taking everything I have not to kiss him right now.
"Are you sure Styles?" he whispers huskily, our lips almost touching. If I so much as speak our skin would touch. My heart is pounding rapidly and pretty sure he can hear it. Just as I'm about to answer, there's a thud.
We pull away quickly and search for the noise, but there nothing there. Although I can faintly hear the rush of footsteps upstairs. What are they doing up there?
I take the time to quickly say my answer while he's distracted, "Yes, I'm sure." Surprisingly my voice doesn't shake.
His head whips around face me and he looks... surprised? Hurt? Wait why would he feel hurt? "You like Zayn?" He more states than asks.
I shake my head, not even trying to respond verbally I'm still not sure how I feel about Zayn. Despite this I don't feel as intimidated anymore, maybe it's because we aren't as close- although I'm still between his legs- or possibly because his face is softer and looks more confused and... upset? Now more than anything.
"Really Harry?" He asks quietly.
"Why are you so interested? Is it because he's gay?" I snap.
"Zayn's gay?" He looks up at me with big shocked eyes.
My eyes widen. Ah, shit.
"Are you tw-" Before he can finish that statement I rush out of the kitchen and run to the bathroom, locking the door behind me.
Zayn's gonna kill me.
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And now I'm off to right the next part before you all track down my IP adress!!!! >.<