"At some point, the secret itself becomes irrelevant. The fact that you kept it, does not."- Sara Gruen, Water for Elephants
A knock sounded on a door in the middle of a muggle neighborhood on the outskirts of London. James Potter stood on the outside of the white paneled piece of wood in a long, black coat and jeans, doing his best to blend in. He arched onto his toes as a frenzy of nerves exploded in his abdomen. In his restlessness, he brushed the white snow from his coal-colored hair.
The door opened to reveal his girlfriend. Charlie stood in jeans and a cozy looking sky blue sweater; it made the blue in her ocean eyes extremely striking. She smiled at him and held in a laugh at the state of his anxiety.
"Hi," she said, sounding rather amused, something twinkling in her eyes.
James narrowed his eyes with a small smirk. "Don't laugh at me, Riggs."
"I didn't laugh, Potter."
He leaned in to peck her cheek. "Yeah, yeah," he muttered against her skin causing goose bumps to arise across Charlie's body.
"Come on," she said leaning back and taking his hand.
James followed her over the threshold, feeling his entire body buzz with anticipation. He did his best to straighten his posture and look presentable. They arrived in the front room to see a family of three seated on the couch waiting for them.
The man, who James' eyes were drawn to first, was short with pale skin and blonde hair. James knew this was Charlie's father, but he found himself stunned at how little they looked alike– his nose was wide where Charlie's was narrow, his eyes were dark where Charlie's were light with type of green-blue combination, he was short in stature where Charlie was long, and he was translucently pale where Charlie was dark complected.
James cleared his throat in his silent rudeness. "Nice to meet you all," he greeted. "I'm James."
The woman who was rather short with a head of bright red curls immediately got up and wrapped him in a hug. "It's so nice to meet you, James."
"Oh, um," James mumbled taken aback, awkwardly patting her back. "It's nice to meet you too."
She leaned away, still gripping his shoulders. "I'm Linda," she said with a wide smile.
She stepped away from the boy and gestured to the small girl still sitting on the couch, gazing up at the boy shyly. "This is Claire."
James stared at the tiny child and noted that she very much looked like her father. James felt a twist in his insides as he wondered how much that hurt Charlie; her looking nothing like him and the sister he chose looked like his miniature twin.
"Hi, Claire," James said with a small smile, trying not to frighten her.
"Hi," she whispered.
Charlie's father stayed seated. "Dad," Charlie said in a strained voice. "Aren't you going to say hello?"
The man got to his feet rather reluctantly. He leaned over the coffee table and extended a hand without fully looking at James. "How are you, James? I'm Walter."
James gripped his hand and said, "Nice to meet you."
Walter quickly released James and moved back to sit, looking as if he was trying to keep as far from James as he could, as if he were scared. The raven-haired boy wasn't sure what he had done, but he looked back at Charlie apologetically. Charlie, on the other hand, looked livid; her hands were clenched into fists, her eyes were narrowed to slits, and her jaw was rigid.
"Well," she said sharply. "James and I should get going."
Walter casted his eyes downward from his daughter. The small girl launched herself from beside him, running towards Charlie. "No," she whined.
Charlie laughed, her angry facade melting away. "I'll be back in a few days."
Claire wrapped her arms around the tall girl's legs, looking up with a demand: "Promise?"
"I promise."
Charlie bent down to give her younger sister a proper hug. "Can I give the boy a hug?" Claire whispered.
Charlie snorted. "Yes, go give the boy a hug."
Claire giggled as she ran over to James, wrapping her hands around his leg, her head not quite meeting his hip. He smiled down at her.
"I promise to bring her back," he said with a wink.
She giggled once again, running back to her mother. "I'll be back in a few days," Charlie said over her shoulder as they exited, not giving her father a second look.
As they shut the door behind them, James asked, "Did I do something wrong?"
"No," she huffed irritably, slinging her backpack over her shoulder and walking away from the house hurriedly.
James' eyebrows came together as he jogged to keep up with her as they made their way down the street. "Then, why did-?"
"Why did he barely look at you?" She demanded.
James scrunched his nose. "Well, yeah?"
"He's scared of you, James," she said, stopping suddenly, turning her body towards him and closing her eyes against her tears. "And, me for that matter."
His hands were suddenly on either side of her face, securing her head in his locked grip. "Hey," he said gently. "It's okay. At least he's making an effort, right?"
She opened her eyes to see him staring intently at her. "Yeah, I guess," she whispered.
He pressed his lips to hers. "It'll be okay, Charlie."
She nodded, taking his hand in hers. "So," she sniffed, trying to change the subject. "How are we getting to your place, seeing how neither of us is of age?"
James gave her a wicked grin as he began pulling her down the street. They made it to the end, where an abandoned tool shed sat far out of sight from the nearest house. He opened the moldy door to reveal a pristine looking, white fireplace. It was extremely out of place in the shabby, black inside. It was as if it had been placed there by magic.
"What the hell?" She laughed.
James made a noise as well. "We have a floo network connection in our house. My mum and dad set this up for us."
"That was nice of them," Charlie commented with a smile.
James nodded at her as he reached for a small pouch of floo powder. He offered it to her, and she took a bit in her hand, feeling the gritty sand fall between her fingers.
"What am I saying?"
He turned slightly pink. "Potter Manor."
Her eyes glittered. "A manor?" She demanded in her best psuedo-fancy voice. "How posh."
"Bite me, Riggs."
She laughed before stepping into the fire place. Charlie threw her hand full of powder at her feet and yelled, "Potter Manor!"
Charlie spun in a flash of green fire to exit out of the small, moldy shed. She removed herself from the fire place to make room for James, and her eyes instinctively followed the wall to the very tall ceilings. She was still gawking at the living room that seemed to be made out of pure, white marble, when James arrived behind her. She was staring up at the crystal chandelier when he gave her hand a tug.
"Come on," he laughed, trying to hide his embarrassment of the house he was raised in.
"This is where you grew up?" She demanded with a laugh. And, similar to what you would have grown up in if my family hadn't disowned my mom, a little voice reminded her. She scrunched up her nose at the strange realization that she would have been somewhere like here instead of in her modest flat with her mum.
"Shove off," he grinned back at her, as he tugged her through the house.
"Anyone else here?"
"Sirius took Marlene for a ride earlier, and I don't think they're back," James said with a wink. "Remus, Pete, and Lily should be here in the next hour or so."
Charlie rolled her eyes as they walked through the front door onto the wide front porch. "Are we going to discuss Sirius and Marlene or?"
"He says they're just friends," James smirked.
"Bullshit" she muttered, admiring the view.
The Potter's front yard was vast. It waved and crest with the hills, and large trees dotted the land throughout. It was even more beautiful at the moment, as everything was coated in a fresh white blanket of snow.
A loud roar interrupted the peaceful morning. Charlie watched with a grin as Sirius, with a blonde clinging to his back, came racing around the corner on his motorcycle. Sirius wore a wicked grin on his face as he sped up the driveway coming to a halting stop in front of two of his best friends.
Marlene hopped off, unclipping her helmet. "That was wicked," she announced, pulling the helmet off her head, exposing a mess of blonde curls. "I can see why muggles enjoy these so much."
Sirius smirked. "I told you so."
"I need something warm," Marlene stated, rubbing her hands together.
James waved his hand. "Come on, we have some hot cocoa."
Sirius hurried after James into the house with a quick hello to Charlie. Marlene gave her friend a quick hug but pulled away when she saw the look on her face.
"What?" Marlene demanded, shaking out her messy curls.
Charlie arched an eyebrow. "Don't 'what' me, McKinnon. What is going on between you and Sirius?"
Marlene turned pink. "Nothing," she insisted.
"Liar," Charlie chided with a laugh as she escaped into the house.
"Riggs!" Marlene yelled playfully, running after her.
Their morning passed in a frenzy of chatter and sweets and hot beverages. The rest of the group of seven arrived by early afternoon, and they passed their time with exploring the grounds of Potter Manor and consuming more hot cocoa, this time they were spiked with fire whiskey. When the sky turned dark, Lily produced some sparklers– a type of muggle firework that twinkled on a long stick. They ran around the grounds with them, filling the night sky with lights and laughter.
Once the cold became too much, they made their way inside to watch the clock turn to 1977 and to make another round of drinks. Sirius set up a record player he had received from the Potters and began to play an album by some muggle band he had discovered called the Beatles. Neither Lily nor Charlie had the heart to tell him that he was about a decade too late on that discovery.
Lily and Marlene made their way to the kitchen to fetch everyone hot cocoa and snacks. Charlie removed herself from James' embrace, saying something about seven mugs being too many for two people to carry by themselves. Charlie made her way down the hall as the chorus of Let it Be serenaded her in its soothing melody. Her socks were quiet against the thick, wooden floors of the magnificent home. The peaceful air gave Charlie a swirling sensation in her veins. It was a nice feeling; the type where you feel completely content with the world around you, and a part of you wishes you could remain in the moment forever.
She was just about to enter the kitchen, when she heard Marlene demand: "It's about James isn't it?"
Charlie flattened herself against the wall, keeping any part of her invisible from the other side of the door frame. The calm feeling was gone.
Inside the kitchen, Lily averted her eyes from her friend. Marlene crossed her arms over her black shirt, waiting patiently for a response.
Lily shut her eyes, squeezing them tight, wanting to make all of this go away. "Maybe," she finally admitted in a whisper.
"Oh, Lily," Marlene muttered gently, pushing her blonde curls from her eyes. "When did this happen?"
Lily crossed her arms, feeling goose flesh rise along her limbs. "I'm honestly not sure, I just know that this hurts."
"Seeing him with Charlie?"
Lily only nodded, as the inside of her throat grew dry.
Marlene sighed. "You have horrible timing, Evans."
Lily let out a humorless laugh. "Don't I know it."
"I think he really likes her," Marlene said, never one to sugar coat things.
Lily nodded again. "I know," she admitted. "And, I see how happy Charlie makes him and vice versa. Why do you think I haven't said anything? Besides, I have no right to be upset."
"I mean," Marlene interjected. "All of your feelings are valid. We would only have a problem if you were being a bitch to Charlie, which you're not."
Lily shrugged, moving to fill the seven mugs with warm milk, wanting to busy herself.
"How much do you fancy him, Lily?"
And there it was. The very question Lily didn't want to be asked. The very question she was afraid to ask herself because honestly, she didn't know the answer. The thought of answering that question was enough to terrify her.
Lily swallowed. "More than I am comfortable with. I don't know how to explain it...I'm just drawn to him like-"
"You're meant to be together?" Marlene finished for her.
Lily took a deep breath. "Yeah, Mar, yeah. I just-" She cut herself off because she couldn't string together any words to properly describe how she was feeling.
"You got it bad, Evans," Marlene commented with a small laugh as she arched an eyebrow.
"Wow, thanks."
"You going to talk to James or Charlie?"
Lily took a step back as if Marlene had physically attacked her. "Of course not!"
"Lily-"
"No," Lily crossed her arms stubbornly. "End of discussion."
Charlie remained pinned to the wall, silent, her brain running through all of the words over and over again. She had a horrible sinking feeling in her gut, and she wasn't quite sure what to do with it. Her heart raced as she wondered how she was going to get herself out of this situation. She couldn't return empty handed to the boys, and she couldn't let the girls know that she had overheard. Charlie wanted to vomit.
She straightened her back when all she could hear was rustling in the kitchen. She stomped her sock clad feet, so her two friends would hear her coming. Charlie entered the room with a false smile.
"Charlie," Marlene smiled.
"What's taking you two so long?" She tried to keep her voice light, but it sounded wrong even to her own ears.
"Sorry," Lily stuck her tongue out. "There's only two of us."
"I'll help carry," Charlie replied flatly, unable to keep the fake smile on her lips.
Charlie grabbed two mugs and balanced a third in between the other two. Lily watched after her wondering if something was wrong. The girl climbed the stairs, feeling herself falling deeper and deeper into the chaos of her own mind.
What do I do? Charlie thought to herself, fighting tears as she entered James' room to see the boys arguing over the magical properties, or lack thereof, of the record player.
"Hi, Love," James greeted her, getting off of his position on the floor. "Let me help."
Charlie didn't know what to feel. All she knew was that this hurt.