LEIA
I came out of the bathroom, worried out of my mind.
No period. Again.
When was the last time I had my period? Two months ago?
No, even before. Three and a half, perhaps. Four. I had lost count.
Is that what the doctor was about to tell me before Zayn came in that day? Is that why I had been feeling so emotional lately? Why I had been wanting to hold a baby so bad?
I bit my lip, hard enough to make it bleed. I couldn't believe this was happening. It wasn't that I didn't want a baby. I just never thought it would be with Ammar.
Ammar's baby.
No, my heart whispered. It's your child. Your gift.
One second, I had been crying and then I was smiling so big. I didn't care that Ammar was going to be the father of my child. I really didn't care. I would never let my child feel the lack of a father. Nor would he feel unwanted. He was mine. Or she. I didn't know.
I touched my stomach, looking down. I felt the bump and a sob burst out. A wondrous feeling overtook me. It was like butterflies. But so much better.
As soon as I saw Ammar's face, though, all happy feelings vanished. I never wanted my child to see his face. But something else dawned on me.
I had studied the Fiqh of Marriage and Divorce. It was basically Islamic rulings over these matters. I couldn't get divorced.
I turned away. Oh no.
I couldn't get divorced while I was pregnant. I could separate from Ammar and it was only after my delivery that he could divorce me.
I startled when a hand touched my shoulder.
"What's wrong?" Ammar asked, eyeing the tears streaking down my face.
On instinct, I wiped them away. He'd instilled it inside me. Don't cry, he'd once said, it annoys me. "Nothing."
He checked my forehead for fever. "Leia, you don't look okay. Are you sure we shouldn't head over to the doctor's?"
I shook my head, not really listening to him. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I wasn't going to be freed from this man. No divorce meant I had to work out a plan B.
It also meant I had to inform Zayn.
I closed my eyes.
Zayn.
He would be so hurt.
Heck, I was hurt. Not because of the baby but because deep down, I'd already known. I had known last month and the for the past week I was certain.
After showing some more concern, Ammar went away. As soon as the door closed behind him, I ran over to the bed. Pulling out my phone, I quickly opened the messages.
There were some from only ten minutes ago. School started in an hour so Zayn must have already been there.
Zayn: The papers are ready. We'll go meet the lawyer after school
Zayn: Are you prepared? He might question you a little
I sighed. There was no escaping this. I had to inform him.
Me: I'm not coming today