There is a storm in Alex's head, winds of questions floating around with no answers, making his skin itchy with frustration.
Alex kind of hates it. For the first time since he's gotten here, he misses London.
He never had to tiptoe around someone's space. He could work on instinct at all times, never planning ahead.
He wishes he could crawl under a blanket with a cup of tea and sleep until he's calm. He can't, though. Not in L.A.
He has to get out of his house - well, their house - and walk and sweat, and he misses London.
Alex ends up in the park, somehow. So he looks for the pond he and Dexter always read their books by, and when he finds it, he just sags against the tree.
Alex shuts his eyes for a few minutes, trying to understand how he went from saving Ivy to screaming at her, to leaving the house.
He knows, though. He just doesn't like the feeling that comes with admitting the truth.
He gets lost in the singing of birds and the sound of leaves dancing in the wind, and he thinks maybe he can find comfort in L.A., only without the blanket, or the tea.
His peace is disrupted by a voice he wasn't particularly interested in hearing at the moment.
"Dex told me I'd find you here."
When he cracks an eye open, he closes it again with a groan, "Dex needs to shut his mouth."
"Hey, don't talk about my man like that," Mason threatens, expression serious for five seconds before bursting into laughter.
Mason's laugh is contagious, Alex joins him with a weaker one.
Once he has caught his breath, Mason nudges Alex's shin with his foot so he can sit next to him.
Alex scoots a bit, and when Mason is settled, he waits for the lecture.
Except it never comes.
Mason is looking at the sky and humming low, and Alex is a bit confused.
"So..." Alex drags out.
"Hm ?"
"Mace, come on, out with it."
"Out with what ?"
"Whatever it is you came here to talk about ?"
"I came here because you're angry, also because Tyler was about to break something, so I promised I would bring you home. You're my friend too, and if you wanna talk, then I'll listen, but I can also sit here with you and not say a word if that's what you need."
Alex was certain that Mason was here to lecture him about his behaviour. Because he knows that if the guys had to make a choice between Alex and Ivy, they'd pick her in a second.
It's a bit overwhelming.
"Thank you. For finding me."
Mason looks up at the sky, but Alex can see the corner of his lips twitching.
"You're handsome. That's the only reason I'm here."
Alex snorts and shakes his head, "always making me feel special, mate. Thanks."
"So ?" Mason asks.
"So ?"
"Do you want to talk ?"
"Not really," Alex sighs. He had almost forgotten about it.
"How about I say something ?"
Alex eyes him suspiciously, "Thought you weren't here to talk ?"
"I wasn't, but I just thought of something right now," Mason shrugs.
Alex groans and waves his hand to say,'Go ahead.'
Mason laughs and flicks his head before speaking again.
"Do you remember the institution ?"
"The Rosa institution ? The orphanage in which Tyler and Ivy grew up ?"
Mason nods after each question.
"Do you know what is special about that place ?"
Alex shakes his head because Tyler was never too keen on talking about it, even though he claims it was home for the entirety of his stay there.
"Rosa and her husband, the people who own and run the orphanage, they have an insane amount of money, like, insane. So the way it works is, children over there are taken care of, whether it be for school, food, shelter, and anything else they might need,"
"Oh," Alex says. He hasn't got a clue where this is going.
"Once the kids turn eighteen, houses or apartments are picked and bought by the institution for them, but the rest of their needs, they have to take care of themselves. The same way Tyler did."
"Okay ? Mace I'm not su- " Alex starts, but Mason cuts him off,
"Tyler was brought in when he was three, and Ivy was only a few weeks old. They were the youngest members at the time, so naturally, they became very close, and Tyler grew more and more protective,"
Mason stops himself with a little smile, as if he had been there himself.
"Rosa was against it. She didn't want to risk having them grow codependent and then separate them, knowing Tyler would eventually leave before Ivy. But the more she tried to keep them apart, the more Ivy grew anxious, and she turned into a completely different person. Tyler was no better. He kept throwing tantrums, and he would stay locked up in his room until Rosa decided it would be best to raise them together."
"What about not wanting them to grow codependent ?" Alex asks. He's getting engrossed in the story.
"It was too late. From the moment they met, they became a package deal. When Tyler turned eighteen, a house was bought for him and Ivy, and it was agreed that Rosa and her husband would take care of Ivy's expenses until she turned eighteen."
"Tyler never told me the story," Alex mutters.
"He doesn't really like talking about that place. Not because he had a hard time or anything, but the reason he was there to begin with stuck with him a little bit. I'm guessing you know about his parents ?"
Alex winces, nodding slowly.
Tyler's parents were despicable human beings who would abuse their son daily. Tyler doesn't remember of course, but the one time he spoke of his parents to Alex, he told him that he knew about them because Rosa never kept the truth from the kids at the orphanage when they had questions about how they ended up there in the first place, but only when she felt they were ready to hear it.
"Well, he got lucky, Ivy...not so much," Mason says sadly.
"What happened to her ?" Alex asks, immediately responsive, and he hates himself for it.
"I'm not sure I -" Mason hesitates, but Alex interrupts him quickly.
"Look, Mace, I respect the fact that you guys want to protect her, and her privacy, but I don't think she and I can work things out if we remain strangers to one another. "
Mason releases a breath, studying him. Alex is growing restless, twitching with anticipation when he sees that Mason is about to give in.
"Fine, I guess you're right, but I can't tell you the big thing, the main reason she is the way she is with you. But Ivy was brought into the institution because her parents were drug addicts."
"Both ?" Alex gasps.
"Both. I don't exactly know the specifics, but Ivy was born an addict. She struggled for some time, and Tyler helped a lot with that. He was her anchor, but when it comes to other people, she has trust issues, especially with you."
"Me ?" Alex squeaks.
"Yes. I can tell deep down that she does like you. If she didn't, you wouldn't be living with her and Tyler. But the girl has abandonment issues. She's probably worried about getting close to someone who might not stick around."
Alex just nods even if he has a hard time believing that.
"I can accept that, really I can. But we talked about this, we agreed we would make an effort, and then she just...snapped !"
"Because she does want to try ! She's just pushing to see how far you'll bend. I don't expect you to understand, Al. I really don't. I know it doesn't make sense to you, but this is her way of protecting herself. Earlier, you asked her how she managed to get us to like her,"
Alex makes a face. It doesn't feel as satisfying now as it did when he said it.
"It's okay, you were angry," Mason says with a reassuring smile, "but she had a hard time getting there, she kept pushing us away, and she still has her moments where we can't approach her, but she tried. Believe it or not, Alex, she is one of the most devoted people we've ever met, and if you knew her story and the reason she's like this, then you'd see it too. We only started getting close after we found out about some stuff she desperately tried to hide from the world, and I hope that one day she tells you, I do. But until then, just try and remember that the Ivy you saw all week, that's not her, that's a scared little girl who's trying to figure you out."
Alex takes a moment to think about everything Mason just said.
He feels a bit relieved to know his initial assumptions were true, Ivy doesn't hate him. She just doesn't know him. And he doesn't want that. He doesn't want that girl to be scared to have a stranger living in her house.
They just need more time.
When he makes up his mind, he pushes himself up and offers a hand to Mason to help him stand.
Once Mason is off the ground, Alex pulls him in for a hug and asks him to take him home.
Mason gasps, 'on the first date ? You whore !' and winks when he holds out his hand for Alex to take.
They walk like this until they get to the house and Mason yells 'honey, we're home!' earning a snort from Alex.
Tyler practically jumps out of the kitchen with a hopeful 'we ?' and when his eyes land on Alex he's paralized for a second, but then he runs into his best friend's arms.
From the corner of his eye Alex can see Mason retreating to join the others in the kitchen.
"I was so worried, don't you ever fucking run off like that again, you piece of shit !"
Yeah, Alex does feel like shit, because they both know what happened the last time Alex left after a fight.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he rocks Tyler until he's calmed down a bit a when he's finally released, he spots Ivy at the bottom of the stairs, right behind Tyler.
Ivyhe looks confused, as if she didn't expect him to return. Surprisingly, she looks relieved.
'She's just scared,' Alex recalls Mason's words.
He doesn't think, just follows his instincts.
So he walks over to her, and Ivy's eyes widen a bit. He's taller than her, and the last thing he wants is to appear intimidating. He drops down on his knee in front of her and holds out his palm.
Ivy backs up instantly, so she's standing on the step, dwarfing him.
"I'm sorry I yelled, I didn't mean it, and I should've looked past your anger. I came into your life, and you have every right not to want me in it. But I'm asking you this, give me a chance to show you that you can trust me. I know I said we didn't have to, but I'd like to be your friend, even if it happens now or in ten years. I'm fine with either," Alex says quietly.
He knows the boys can see from the kitchen, and Tyler is right behind them, but right now, his focus is solely on Ivy and hers on his hand.
"I can't take it. Your hand..." she whispers, and Alex remembers how much he loves the soft voice.
"I know, it's okay."
"I'm sorry about this week. I'm sorry," she says, her eyes shifting from his hand to his face.
"I forgive you," Alex smiles and gets up, then goes to the kitchen to avoid the awkwardness that was bound to follow.
The group just eats in silence, but he catches the satisfied grin on Luca's lips.
He faintly hears Tyler asking Ivy if she's okay. He doesn't hear her answer, though.
When he passes her room that night, he doesn't hear her crying, so he figures the answer might have been 'yes'.