Kris held his breath as he took cover behind the dumpsters. The loud beatings of his own heart and the heavy footsteps echoing across the empty alleyway was making him deaf.
Kris clutched his left shoulder, it stinged. He wasn't even sure if he got shot or was barely scratched because the adrenaline was numbing the pain.
Soon, the sound of rubber shoes against the cold gravel silenced and Kris was able to breathe with ease again.
Kris sighed as he let his body slump over the dumspter. He did this to himself. He has no one to blame.
If only he told Mark about the guy he was dealing with, maybe his friend has his way to find out the man's weakness and think of a scheme that he can use to make sure that he won't betray them. Or maybe Mark would have stopped him from doing business with the man altogether. But Kris didn't. He thought he could do it alone. He didn't expect that the man would bring his men and will try to assassinate him. And now Nam's money was gone and he barely even made it alive.
Aside from the lost money, Kris has a bigger problem, and that is becoming a murderer. And what makes it worst was the man he killed was someone who holds a high position in a mafia so he should not just think about going to jail but also going to the other side and boy... Kris doesn't want any of that.
With his trembling hands, Kris dialed Mark's number, his anxiety growing with every ring.
"Markkkk," he immediately cried when the line got through. "Please help me. I... I don't want to go to jail."
"O...ok where are you? I'm coming." Mark replied in a very concerned yet in a calm voice.
"I...in a barely lit alleyway. Two blocks south of our usual meeting place." Kris heard an engine roared instantly after stating his location.
The wait was painfully long as Kris did not dare to move even an inch from where he was sitting behind the dumspter. Until finally, the headlights of an incoming car was visible and Kris nervously peeked.
The car stopped and Kris was able to identify it as Mark's so he quickly sprinted towards the passenger seat, got inside and frantically locked the door. Mark driving away immediately.
"I need your help, please help me." Kris' trembling voice and messy appearance reflected his desperation.
"What did you do?" Mark asked, getting anxious at the situation as well as he tried to focus on the road ahead.
"I.... I killed someone." Kris' voice cracked, his anxiety raising with every seconds that passed.
Mark instantly hit the break in shock that got Kris almost flying out through the windshield. He should have fastened his seatbelt.
"Fuck," the two boys both cursed at the same time.
Mark didn't know what to do or what to say. He just sat there, staring at his friend helplessly.
"I.. d..didn't mean to kill him. It was, it was a set up. W...what I did was self defense. I...I was protecting myself." Kris' stumbled with his words as he tried to get back to sitting properly. His tears mixing with cold sweat and mucus. "He just wanted to get the money and has no intention to return it. He tried to kill me but I was quick to grab his gun and we fought over it and he got shot and now his men are chasing me. I don't know what to do. They will kill me."
"You should have told me earlier. Did you even do a background check?" Mark asked. He was mad, he wanted to shout at Kris for being so dumb but he knew it can't change anything. Mark just sighed at his friend's lack of response. "What do you plan to do?"
"Get me out of the country," Kris grabbed Mark's right hand and clutched it desperately. "You have a private jet right? You could get me out of here. I promise I would start a new life with Nam."
Mark removed Kris' grip on his hand as he shakes his head no. "Its my father's, not mine."
"But you can use it right? We've cruised with your father's yacht many times before, surely we could use your father's jet." Kris said, looking at Mark with fearful yet hopeful eyes.
"I'm sorry." Mark apologized, breaking away from the other boy's gaze. "Dad wont allow me to use any of his properties anymore. I cant even use my cards."
"B...but why? I need you to help me leave. I will die here Mark." Kris was becoming hysterical. His trembling hands once again grabbing Mark's right wrist.
"I will get disowned soon. I'm going broke Kris." Mark said, feeling sorry as he put his left hand on his friend's right shoulder, looking at him straight in his eyes. "But I promise, I will do anything to help you. I won't let you die."
Kris shook his head, unbelieving. "W....why is your dad disowning you? W...what did you do?"
"Being gay. That's what I did." Mark replied bitterly.
"So?" Kris asked, confused.
"He doesn't want us to disgrace his name so in order to make sure that people won't know that his sons are faggots, he decided that the first one to get married and have a child will receive all of his wealth." Mark's words left a bittersweet aftertaste in his mouth, he paused for a moment as an image of someone he loved so dearly flooded his mind.
"Then marry Nam," Kris said in a convincing tone, his wide eyes looking straight at Mark, expecting him to say yes. As if it was that easy, as if marriage is just a simple thing, as if he doesn't care about Nam's feelings or even Mark's own feelings.
Mark was shock with his suggestion. "I..its not that easy Kris. I...I only want to marry P'Gun." Mark was not doubting his feelings towards the older boy because you see, Mark loves Gun too much he's ready to drop everything for him.
"You can just divorce her after you get the money. Its easy Mark. You can be rich, you don't have to go broke and the most important thing is you can help me stay alive." Kris was so desperate that he was becoming illogical. His eyes were unfocused, trembling hands fidgeting the fabric of his jeans, and his cold sweat dampening his messy hair.
"Lets think about this again Kris. There should be other ways. Lets consider Nam's feelings." Mark reasoned but Kris was headstrong. He has always been headstrong and that's how he contantly get into trouble. Things like this was bound to happen from the very beginning.
"Then tell me another way." Kris asked in frustration.
"I... I can give you my car and you can drive somewhere far from here." Mark said, not even sure of himself.
"How far can I go with this car Mark? They will still find me as long as I'm still in this country." Kris' was starting to raise his voice, he was becoming hysterical. "You dont know how powerful they are. They're a conglomerate empire and they have people in every corners of this country. A...and police will be after me. I can't just live in hiding forever Mark."
"Then why the fuck did you made a deal with them?" Mark was equally raising his voice as he was starting to lose patience.
"He promised to triple my money so I thought that maybe this would be my chance to get rich. Not everyone is born with a silver spoon like you Mark." It was never Kris' intention to be hateful, but he did sounded like it.
"You know what? Fuck it Kris. Lets talk about this when you're not as hysterical, maybe then we can figure something out when you're thinking straight." Mark said before starting to drive again.
Kris just inhaled deeply and kept quite in his seat.
"I promise Ill do anything to save you Kris. Just trust me." Mark said reassuring.
Kris just nodded in response.
***
Mark made three consecutive knocks before Saint finally opened his door. The boy looked so surprised to see his younger brother in front of him which was a very very rare occurrence.
"C...can y..you....?" Mark asked, hesitating.
"Go and see your P'Gun? Sure." Saint finished off for him, a smile appearing on his face as he nodded.
Mark swallowed dry, he was too ashamed of himself to ever look at his older brother in his eyes. "I know I've never been good to you. Ive hated you but now Im swallowing my pride because..."
"No its ok. You don't need to explain. I'm just glad you're finally talking to me." Saint said which made Mark raise his head to finally meet his gaze. Saint's assuring smile made Mark even more guilty as he remembered how he treated him before. He never thought that a day would come where the only person he could seek for help was the same person he used to curse for living.
"T..thank you Saint and I'm...Im," Mark gave up before finishing his sentence. His guilt and regret overtaking that he can't even bare to continue facing Saint properly, so he just turned his back and leave. If its not for his P'Gun, Mark would have never showed his face in front of Saint again after realizing all of the shitty and hurtful things he has said and done before.
"Have you eaten yet?" Saint suddenly asked which made Mark stop on his track. Slowly, he shook his head no so Saint quickly grabbed his left arm and dragged him downstairs. "We only have a year to enjoy our fathers wealth. Lets eat good food Nong." Saint said smiling.
Mark just nodded without much thought as he let his older brother lead him to the dining area.
And as they were walking, Mark felt a familiar feeling. Saint's hands wrapped securely around his smaller one felt like he was seven again. It felt like one of those days where Saint and him would go out to catch dragonflies by the river. It felt so real that Mark can almost smell the sweet scents of the wild flowers that grows by the river where they spent all of their childhood summer. Things were simple then. Mark wished that they could have stayed as kids for the rest of their lives so they won't have to deal with pain anymore.
"Lets eat," Saint said after the breakfast was served to which Mark just nodded.
The two sat facing each other and Mark thought that he should try to talk the awkwardness away, or his own awkwardness at the very least. "You don't have a plan to go after our father's inheritance?" He asked after a while of convincing himself to speak.
Saint shook his head as a bright smile appeared on his face. "Nahhh. Did you see how handsome my boyfriend is? I would rather go broke with Perth than be rich with a girl I don't love."
Mark was surprised with Saint's words. He never thought his brother could be this devoted towards a person.
"How about you? Would you leave Gun for dad's money?" Saint asked as he took a sip of his coffee.
Mark never had second thoughts about his love for the boy but it seems like as the days passed, things were becoming more and more complicated. "I won't. But the problem is Gun doesn't love me, so if I choose him I will end up broke and lonely."
Saint laughed at his brother's reasoning. It doesn't make any sense to him. "You know you would leave the whole world for him, so why are you talking like you still have a choice? You don't have any other choices but to go broke Mark. The only option you have is to go broke with Gun or to go broke all by yourself, but with your personality, its definitely the first."
"You're giving me too much credit Saint. I'm not as arrogant and stubborn as I was before. Gun made me acknowledge the fact that not everything can go the way I want it to be. I can't have everything I want." Mark's words were bittersweet, his glassy eyes were staring blankly at Saint.
"Maybe you need to experience those things so you could come in contact with your true feelings."
Mark was puzzled with Saint's words. His blank stare shifting into a confusion.
Saint gave him an understanding smile before continuing. "You know, you used to cry a lot before, you were a crybaby. But when your mom left, I saw how you forced yourself to become strong. And since then I never saw you cry. But how can you move on when you can't let go of your pain? How can you move on when you still continue living in the past? You've been hurting for far too long, maybe its time that you learn to let go of the last piece of her memory and live without the burden of the past. You should let yourself be free Mark, give yourself a chance."
A trailer truck in a form of deep realization hit Mark so hard he wanted to cry. But he was so used of preventing his tears from falling that he didn't realize the fact that he had slowly forgotten how to let his tears drown the pain away.
"And if Gun was the only person who can make you remember all of your long forgotten feelings, if he's the only person allowed to see the weakest side of you, then dont you think that perhaps this losing battle is worth fighting for?" Saint's question made Mark realize a lot of things. So many things that he can't even begin to explain. But one thing Mark knew for sure; when he had thoughts of giving up, Saint managed to say all of the right things at the right time.