To: Animal Girl
From: Band Boy
You didn't come... I was really hoping you would.
Fuck, I miss you so much, Tilly. I'm scared you really don't want to be with me now. It's been a few weeks since you talked to me and I am so afraid those weeks are going to turn into months, and then forever, and I don't want that.
Please, tell me anything, tell me what I need to do. I will do it. I will do anything to get you to talk to me again, AG. Anything.
I'm in Berlin, we play here tomorrow night then off to Hamburg the night after.
I hope to hear from you, and I miss you like crazy.
Calum, the very sad, very heartbroken, very sorry, band boy...
***
"Dude, buck up." Ashton frowns, dropping beside Calum in the dressing room.
"It's been weeks. I messed up so bad because I was caught of guard. I fucking told her to get rid of the last thing he ever gave her. And that was stupid, I shouldn't have picked the fight, especially after she fought with her mom, said goodbye to her jackass of a father, and had to deal with it being the third anniversary of what was supposed to be one of the happiest days of her life. I fucked up so bad..." Calum sighs, leaning his head back.
"Ya, you did." Calum turns his head at break neck speed, not believing his ears, not believing she is actually standing there, in the doorway, with a bag over her shoulder.
"Holy fuck! You're here?" He grins, jumping off the couch and running to her, taking her hand to make sure she really is there, that this isn't a dream.
"We need to talk, please." She sighs.
"Ya, ya, come on. You can leave your bag here and we will go talk." He nods furiously, taking the duffel off her shoulder and tossing it against one of the walls.
"Stage time is ninety minutes, don't get too carried away, and use protection!" Ashton yells after them with a giggle.
"Holy fuck!" Calum turns to Tilly as he shuts the door to an empty green room. "I cannot believe you are here, AG."
"I would have come in Budapest like you offered but I was already booked on a flight back to New York for the funeral. It was awful, thanks for asking. But I wasn't really able to miss it either, he was my father, and as he was a public figure, and I also am, it felt like the right thing to do so I went." She shrugs, one arm hugged around herself.
"What's this?" Calum asks suddenly. The way she shifted having sparked a light off a new addition to her T necklace.
"Char had it made for me. When we fought on FaceTime I went to their house and cried to her for a long while. Then she helped me find a way to keep the diamond from T's engagement ring without making it so obvious. She had a jeweler friend remove the diamond from the ring and place it in this charm for my necklace. I thought it might be a better way to keep it and keep you happy." She shrugs, clutching the small jewel nervously.
Calum frowns, "You didn't have to do that... I was just being an ass, Tilly, you could have kept the ring how it was. I'm sorry if I made you do that."
"Actually, I'm glad I did. I didn't want it to be something that sat in my closet for the rest of my life, but I also had no idea what to do with it. Fighting with you and talking over what you were saying with Char, she gave me the idea, to take the diamond and put it in a bracelet or necklace of some sort. I'm really happy with it. I got it back from her this week when I went back for the funeral."
"I'm still sorry, I shouldn't have made you feel like that, Tilly. Your past is important and I want to know it, I want to respect it, and I want to be your future if you will still have me." He sighs, stepping closer to her.
"Look, Calum, we can argue, we can fight, we can get through it. But you cannot tell me to get over my past, you cannot tell me I can't love T still. I know it's hard on you, and I don't expect you to be better than he was, I don't expect you to be the same as he was. I expect you to be a different kind of right. I need you to be you, and I need you to respect who I am. I know it's hard to be with me. I know I bring a lot to the table that is difficult, that is unique, and I need to make sure you are really okay with being with me and all that includes?"
"Yes." His eyes peer into her own softly as he answers, stepping even closer, his hands falling to her hold her waist. "I want this, Tilly, I want you, I want us, and having you mad at me and giving me the silence treatment has only made me more sure of that."
"I can't handle a relationship that is back and forth in that aspect okay? I need someone who is on my side, who wants me to succeed, who supports me, and helps me grow. I have no one, Calum. Not since I lost T. El does her best, she doesn't get my life though. I need someone who supports my life how I live it. How I deal with my grief, my family, and my past. Can you promise you will do absolutely everything in your power to be that person for me?"
"Tilly, I promise. Please believe me." He sighs, rubbing his thumbs against her hips lightly.
"I need that. I need you to be on my side, to be my number one, to show me support, to not lose your shit at me before taking a deep breath. I don't expect you to always be okay with me and how I deal with things, but you cannot yell at me and say things you don't mean. I need you to be rational when my past, my emotions, my fucked up everything causes me to not be that way."
"I promise to do everything I can to be that person, Tilly. Please!" He is starting to panic, the way she doesn't seem to be able to trust him after his freak out is scaring him.
"I want to believe you, Calum, but you have to earn my trust back. I'm sorry it is that way, but it is the truth. I cannot be with someone who doesn't support me fully, I get enough of that shit from my own family."
"I am already the biggest Tilly fan in the whole world. I can promise you that, Animal girl."
"Prove it again, please." She nods.
"I will." He smiles slight, bending to capture her lips with his own. Luckily she kisses him back, her arms sliding up to curl around his neck.
"I did miss you too, Band Boy. Even while I was mad." She sighs, letting her arms stay around his neck as she drops back to the heels of her feet.
"I was praying everyday that you did. That I didn't ruin all of this for myself already. Because it has been amazing being your guy, your shoulder to cry on, your support, your boyfriend."
"I have very much enjoyed it too. But I needed some space to deal with shit. And I was nervous to come to you after that fight, because it only got worse after that. My dad fucking died on the same day T did, just three years later. It was like his one last chance to kick me when I was already down. Honestly if it wasn't impossible I'd have thought he did it on purpose."
"You can always come to me, I promise. Asshole Cal is a rare and stupid person. Usually I am pretty rational. I wish I could have been there for you over the last few weeks, AG. I knew you were hurting and I couldn't do anything to help."
"If it makes you feel better, I wanted you when I was at my worst."
"Next time, come find me okay? You are always welcome wherever I am."
"Am I welcome now?"
"Always, AG. Now is part of always. Stay with me, we can travel through the last few stops of tour, and I'll plan something fun for your birthday in a couple days."
"It's in five days, and you're busy. We don't have to do anything special. I just want to spend it with you, I've had enough of my family lately. Enough for years. I think El is staying with mom for a while longer, since she just lost dad."
"Let me worry about the whole birthday thing. You've had a shit month and I'm going to do something fun for you. You deserve it. But right now, we are going to get back to work. Well, I'm going to get back to work, you are going to sit side stage and enjoy the show where I can see you, but the fans hopefully can't. Wait. How did you get here? I never asked." He chuckles.
"Sierra is here too. She helped. We connected when she changed flights in New York on her way out."
"Remind me to thank her. But right now, let's get to the show. It's going to be so much better with you here."
"I'm excited to see it." She chuckles, lowering her arms from his neck finally.
Calum catches her right arm softly as she does, frowning at the white cast around her hand. "Hows your arm doing? Fuck, I really kicked you when you were down didn't I?"
"My arm is fine, Band Boy, it aches a little here and there, but it's healing and I'll be fine. I promise."
"I still feel bad." He shrugs, kissing her hand and then over the cast, making her laugh.
"You need to sign it, BB. I saved a spot for you right here." She points to a blank spot near her wrist.
"Who did all the animal doodles?" He chuckles, pulling her from the room.
"Vivian. She had a lot of fun with it too."
"It's very you."
"That was the point." She laughs, letting him lead her back into the bands green room, four pairs of eyes shooting up to them.
"All good?" Sierra smiles.
"All good." Calum grins, grabbing a sharpie off the counter and pulling Tilly's arm up so he can write on the plaster.
"You broke your arm?" Luke frowns.
"Slipped on a rock, fell in a river, snapped my wrist." Tilly nods, "It was weeks ago now. Almost a month, I'll be fine. Hazard of my job. Not the first or last time I'll injure myself out there."
"If you don't mind my asking, what has been your worst injury on the job. We know about your almost worst injury, but what has actually happened to you?" Ashton asks.
"The worst sounding is when I broke my ankle, twisted it in a dead root while hiking in Switzerland about five years ago. But the worst on the pain scale was in Paraguay about three and a half years ago. It was the middle of summer there and we were walking through a field of weeds. There were bugs everywhere. Fucking tarantulas were crawling on our legs, we would beat them away with sticks. And I stopped watching where I was stepping for half a second to get one off me, and I stepped directly into a fire ant anthill. I had hundreds of ants racing up my leg in seconds, I passed out from the pain of all the bites I sustained so quickly. It didn't really scar my skin but definitely the most painful injury I've ever sustained."
"That sounds awful." Michael is wincing.
"It was. A broken wrist is nothing honestly. Just annoying because I can't go out on research projects until I get cleared by my doctors. Luckily I meet with my doctor again next week. Hopefully he clears me then."
"So you're with us for the week?" Ashton grins.
"Calum said it would be fine." She shrugs, taking a seat on the couch once Calum is done with her arm.
"It's more than fine." Calum chuckles, falling beside her and pulling her into his side.
"Welcome to tour then. It gets a little nuts around here. Just warning you." Michael shrugs.
"Literally lived with lions for a month already this year and spent a week following wolves. I think I'll make it."
"Fuck, my girlfriend is so cool." Calum grins, kissing her cheek quickly.
"We should get ready, guys. Let's head to vocal warm ups. That means you too, Cal." Ashton singles him out.
"I'm coming." Calum laughs, climbing back off the couch and following the boys out.
"What did he write on your cast? He was writing for a hot minute." Sierra chuckles, falling beside Tilly.
"Um," She rolls her arm so she can read the new message, smiling and chuckling softly when she sees the heart with BB and AG written inside it.
"Okay, what is with this AG thing? He always calls you that."
"Way back, in the first ten minutes of us meeting I called him Band Boy, and within the day he was calling me Animal Girl. His email contact is Band Boy in my phone and mine is Animal Girl in his. Over time they somehow got shortened to AG and BB. But he uses those more than I do. It's one of those cringy things that we all hate until it's our own cringy thing."
"It's cute." Sierra coos, "You have little flirty nicknames. Don't be embarassed by it."
"I love when he calls me AG. No one else ever will. It's his nickname for me, only his."
"That's why it's so cute. I'm glad you guys solved your issues."
"Me too. I missed him."
"He missed you too. And honestly, we are all glad he found you. You are everything he needs."
"He seems to be just about as perfect as is out there for someone like me too."
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Yay! They fixed things.
More drama is coming I promise.
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I love you guys!!
~M =)