The warm and fuzzy feeling I got from being around him quickly depleted as soon as he was out of my sight. Something about him was comforting. I blinked a few times and got up with my crutches, hobbling out of the gardens and approaching the normal sidewalk. I looked around and he was nowhere to be seen. A sigh was to be heard from me and my heart twisted a little. It felt like a small pang. Why though?
I made my way home and noticed my father started making dinner. Everything was ok until my sister, Yoona, got home from her day out with the caretaker. She was nine now. She was becoming more destructive as well. Tearing at her clothing, tearing many of the items she owned apart to the point they were unusable. Mother came back and held the torn skirt in her hands. She was yelling at Father again. Finally, he shot back at her. Here we go again. The nightly ritual around dinnertime. Always the arguing. I sighed and went to my room to avoid the situation. I close the door and sat on my bed, scrolling through my phone. Nothing interesting. I tried looking up Seonghwa on social media. Nothing. Weird. My eyebrows furrowed as I continued to try looking for him on social media. I found nothing within that next hour.
Why are you so obsessed with him?
You don't even know the guy
"Ughhhh," I groaned, throwing my head back. I couldn't find a single thing. My mother then knocked on the door. I called out it was open and she walked in with my dinner.
"Here's your dinner... How was your day today?"
"It was good. I met someone named Seonghwa and he seemed like a nice guy."
"Oh is he around your age?"
I shrugged. "Maybe?"
"Hm well, hopefully, he becomes a good friend of yours."
I nodded in agreement and took the food after thanking her. "I'm planning on going to the gardens again tomorrow. Is that ok?" I looked up at her. She nodded and smiled softly.
"I'm glad you're getting outside again."
"Yeah, we'll see how long that will last."
She chuckled softly before leaving and closing the door behind her. I then went back to blankly staring at the food. I wanted to eat but I felt I couldn't. I already felt I was too fat so eating would only make me gain weight. After staring at my soup and biscuits, I set them to the side and laid down in bed, only able to think of Seonghwa. "Stop it-" I said to myself. I turned out the light and closed my eyes. tired from today. I prayed he'd be there tomorrow so I could see him again.
~
I woke up with no dreams that night. After a moment of laying there, I remembered that I got to go to the gardens again. A smile made its way to my face as I quickly got up and threw on some clean clothes. After managing downstairs and saying farewell to my parents, I rushed to the gardens, my heart beating fast and butterflies in my stomach. I hoped he would be there. I had no idea why I felt so excited and nervous to see him. It was almost like a breath of fresh air. As soon as I turned that corner and headed into them, I saw the bench and noticed a figure on the bench. My heart jumped as I slowly approached him. "S-Seonghwa?"
I made it to the front of the bench and felt the anxiety leave me as I saw a smiling Seonghwa looking up at me. All of the voices in my head disappeared and the fuzzy feeling returned. I subconsciously smiled back and sat down next to him. "How are you today?"
"Good. Yourself?" he looked over at me.
"Pretty good so far."
"That's good to hear."
I nodded in response and opened my mouth, looking to the side. "So how old are you?"
He chuckled. Oh how that made my cheeks start burning hot. "I'm eighteen. Yourself?"
"Seventeen," I managed to reply. He nodded lightly.
"What school do you go to normally?"
This seemed to have caught him off guard because of the fact he seemed flustered and unsure for the first time. "I'm homeschooled." Though he said that as if he wasn't sure himself. It almost sounded like a guess. I cocked my head, curious as to why the tone in his voice changed so drastically.
"Well, that explains why you are here instead of school since there's school today."
"So why aren't you in classes?"
"Oh um... something happened and I am really injured so I haven't been able to go," I explained. As I looked up in Seonghwas' eyes and saw a sadness in them. Not the kind where he's sad for himself but the kind of sad that you feel for someone else. He almost looked like he felt sad for me or felt my immense depression.
"Ah, I see. Well, I hope you get better as fast as possible," he said, quickly erasing the sadness that once filled his eyes.
"Thank you," I smiled. A genuine smile. Not a fake one like I normally had to use. As he smiled back, my heart fluttered and my smile widened just a little bit. Seonghwa stood up and I stood up as well, grabbing the crutches. "We going for a walk?"
"Sure."
We started out of the gardens and started walking down the street. We managed to make small talk as we walked. A couple of people gave us weird looks as we talked to each other. People were so rude these days.
We continued to talk, though it was more just me talking about myself. Every time I had asked Seonghwa about himself, he kind of avoided it or answered it quickly before changing the subject back to me. I wondered why this was as I looked up at him. Aside from the handshake, he avoided physical contact so it seemed. Though we just met so I respected that.
"Want to go to Starbucks?"
He nodded with a smile. That smile. He was always smiling or seeming so happy and carefree. I wish I could feel that way. The morning breeze felt nice on my skin as we made our way slowly to the coffee shop. My crutches prevented me from moving very fast but Seonghwa was kind and would always wait for me or walk slower. He never seemed to walk ahead or speed. It seemed like he enjoyed just strolling along and never seemed impatient. It was nice he was so kind thus far to me.
We arrived at the shop. It was almost completely empty thank god. I go inside with Seonghwa behind me and asked him if he wants anything. He shook his head quickly and I asked if he was sure. The guy behind the counter gave me an odd look but I shrugged it off. Why was everyone staring at me today? Granted, I did still have a black eye. It was taking a long time to heal.
"Hello sir, what can I get you today?" He asked. He looked over at Seonghwa as if examining him. But in the end, they said nothing to him. It bothered me slightly but I didn't say anything. I ordered my green tea frappuccino and then waited at the counter for it to be ready.
"He was rude... gave us a look and didn't even bat an eyelash at you..."
"Don't worry about them or others. They don't matter to you. They're not the ones living your life. You are. So worry about the things that are important to you. They're just rude and judgemental anyways."
I nodded and smiled in response. His voice wasn't rude here either. It felt kind and his voice sounded like it was just there to calm me down. It never made me feel like I could smile.
"Yeosang," called out a barista. I accepted the drink and took a sip of it happily. I offered some to Seonghwa but he declined. This made me pout as he chuckled and patted my head.
"I'll be fine. I promise," he said.
"Fine," I huffed out, taking another sip of my drink. We then left Starbucks to just take a walk. I noticed it was around noon time currently. The traffic was bustling and people were quickly making their way through the teeming crowds. A couple bumped into the both of us but didn't even turn around to say anything. It bothered me quite a bit so Seonghwa and I decided to just go back to the gardens. We sat on the bench again and stayed there in silence. Not an awkward silence but a peaceful silence. I looked over and admired his facial features. They were perfect and well structured. His lips were plump and were a rosy pink along with his cheeks. His pale skin radiated a light hue. There wasn't a blemish in sight.
"Like what you see?" he asked, chuckling, turning towards me.
I quickly looked away and covered my face with my hands, turning red. "I-I u-uh..." I stammered in my flustered state. "S-sorry-"
"Don't be. It's ok," he chuckled again. He then mumbled something under his breath that I couldn't quite catch but I swore he called me cute.
~
After a while of us talking and getting to know each other further, I noticed the afternoon sun setting in. Crap. I had to get going. I told Seonghwa I had to go. He nodded understandingly and smiled. God how that made my heart do backflips. We waved our farewell as I started back home. After a few steps almost out of the garden, I looked back to see he wasn't at the bench anymore. How did he leave so fast? Though I shrugged it off and continued home. Eventually, I got back and I said hi to my parents. They asked how my day was and I said I spoke to my new friend, Seonghwa. They were happy to see me make another friend since they knew I had been isolating myself for a while. Though their smiles they put on their face were still filled with worry and sadness, knowing I wasn't who I once used to be.