... Nothing makes sense in this senseless world, but we can try to make our own sense of it.
"It's either me or him, Jack," I persisted while glaring right through his soul.
"I... don't know," Jack Brannigan hesitantly responded.
"I'll let you use any weapon attachment?" Red insisted.
The question initiated silence from the crew as the ball was tossed to Jack's court. He seemed to be highly troubled with the fact that he had to choose between his two closest friends. Even if he had decided upon the idea of choosing between us, it would upset him to even think such a thought. Therefore, I concluded that he would definitely let the timer run out on this one.
"Look," Red started speaking slowly. "I know this is tough, but it's hard on us too so I will make this easier... Paul is literally the weakest one here."
"Um, I've actually been practicing," I chimed in quietly.
"Even with all the practice in the world, you know he has a slow reaction time. Slow reaction time equals death, which means...we lose," he interrupted.
Red became very persistent at this point even though he tried to be nonchalant about it as he raised his right eyebrow just a smidge to rub off some of that charm upon Brannigan, who could easily be wooed by a kitten. His blue eyes locked onto Jack's hazel colored ones. "It's just simple math here bud, but it's 100 percent not helping your pal here at all."
This is the moment he sighed and looked down at the hardwood floor. This was a strategy he often used to manipulate the person whom he was speaking with at that particular moment, to show pity. Red always had Jack fooled quite easily due to Jack's naivety, however, I could detect the illusion from a mile away. This was one of those moments I cherished though. The moments of communication between the crew seemed to be lacking lately, which to me, made this a beautiful sight and I hoped for this feeling of closeness to never end.
"Well, he sort of does have a point," Jack interrupted my thought process.
"Awesome," I said sarcastically.
At this point, I did not care at all and whatever happened from this point on did not irk me one bit. I knew this would be one of my last moments together with them. After this moment, I knew that nothing was ever going to be the same. Jack always saw me as a pessimist but that was only on the outside.
"Hmm... but let me counter these points," I started speaking calmly as I got up out of the chair and proceeded to look outside the window. "What this world has taught me is that I have to survive at any cost and I will always do whatever I can to survive. I always saw myself as a warrior and when it comes down to it, I will do whatever it takes, even if it means a sacrifice or me defending myself."
Jack was moved by the courageous display; he looked at me with his glossy eyes. He proceeded to grab a piece of small potato chip from the table across from him and eat it. After the first modest attempt at the chip, he grabbed a handful and began to chow down on them. Small particles of chips began raining down his lips and landed on his massively obese pectorals.
The attempt at regaining my honor was not to convince Jack of anything, it was just an attempt to look outside the window for one last time. To look at the massive maple trees from across this house and ponder on the wonderful view that felt very surreal. This would be the last time in which I would see the only three-story house straight across from my house. The teal-colored house had a nice glow, and to me, it represented hope.
It had been the biggest house that I ever saw and what got me excited was seeing the young German Shepherd dog chained outside the garage. Even with his fierce look and his aggressive stance, his light brownish color made him appear nicer than he was. He would attempt to bite anyone that stared at his owner for more than a few minutes. He was very protective of Mr. Fletcher, especially since he was in his old age. Regardless of the dog, this was the most peaceful neighborhood that I had ever seen.
The grass was so green outside that it felt artificial and the white picket fences outside each house made the neighborhood feel more comforting and inviting. The vehicles that drove by constantly gave this neighborhood life and instead of the noise being overly irritating, it almost felt like sounds of instruments playing. The bright sun lit up the place and burned the people under it. People looked forward to the mornings as they made their tea and got ready. Even in the midst of all of this, here we were, arguing about who was better at operating a gun and surviving for a longer period of time.
Jack was seemingly the most innocent person that I had ever met. He would always tell me that I should be more optimistic; however, he knew it would not change. We were neighbors ever since we were kids and it was crazy to think that he would go ahead and choose Red Miller over me, who was the wild card of the group.
Jack's innocence blinded him so much that he didn't realize that we didn't know much about Miller beside the fact that his family died in a house fire when he was little. He moved to our neighborhood with his aunt after that. For all we knew, Red probably caused the fire.
Jack invited Red over to his house almost every single day and after many years, they practically lived together and considered each other, "brothers". That probably didn't annoy me, but after about two-something decades, Red was still closed off. I was almost certain at this point that he lacked empathy. He was interested in writing, though. That might've been the only concrete thing I knew about him.
Jack's story wasn't anything special. He was just an underachiever spending much of his time on video games and television. He had still been in school for a while, but he was optimistic about it. His clean-shaven face and positive attitude increased his charm. Brannigan had a bit of a beer belly that he refused to get rid of. Over the years, he was the one person who never changed, no matter what the circumstance was. I always wondered to myself how people reacted or changed when they were put in a highly stressful environment.
Jack never got me to trust Red even with his uninteresting speeches about working together and friendship and so on.
"All I'm saying is that I can be valuable and after a little bit more practice, I could be even better than Red," I continued while still staring outside the window.
There were these dark green bushes around everyone's driveway, which was a beautiful background to people communicating with each other outside, rather than arguing. On the right side of Fletcher's house, an old man wearing a gray suit and blue striped tie greeted an older lady and a woman. Fletcher's dog had his eyes focused on the two subjects.
As they all shook hands with each other, the man brought the women inside the house, which had the words, "open house" written on the door. The same sign with a burgundy background and white letters was also placed by the white picket fence near the driveway. The burgundy color matched the color of the house and the old man's suit. Everyone in this neighborhood always carried a smile on their faces as they greeted each other on the sidewalks. The incredible view outside this house always gave me hope and joy.
"Don't you see what's going on here?" Miller finally spoke up. "He is letting the timer run out on this one, Jack."
"No, he would never do that," Jack said as he backed me up on this one while munching on some potato chips. It was the last one we had. He had crumbs all over his lips and upper body region. "Continue."
"Well, that's all I got so far," I replied, turning towards them even though I could not stop imagining the outside area of the house.
Red wore a plain white T-shirt and some cargo pants. His face always had a five o' clock shadow, which he really liked. It matched his pseudo-confident look on his face which came with a tiny smirk that he carried at all times.
"Okay, well you need to pick someone quick, buddy," Red replied a little impatiently. "We're all waiting."
"For god's sake, just pick someone to play with," a womanly voice could be heard approaching. It was Jack's sister, Lisa, who was irritated that we had been choosing who should be the second player in a Zombies game. Our gaming console had been making weird noises all this time. It was probably burning up at this point.
"Maybe you should buy us another controller then," Red suggested.
"You guys are old enough!" Lisa exclaimed while holding the white door open. "Go buy it yourselves."
"With what money?" Red quickly followed up.
"Get a job!" Lisa chuckled.
"Well you see, with this economy..." Red started.
"Um, I'm actually on my way to being an artist," Jack interfered.
"I thought we talked about this, Jack," Lisa replied with a disappointed look on her face while shaking her head. "Think realistically. Having an art degree won't do much to support a family."
This was a routine conversation that usually carried on for a while, and even though it annoyed me then, it is something to cherish now. I stood by the window and observed them bicker at each other and it felt as though I was watching a movie scene where two characters were arguing in slow motion. As I basked in that moment, I noticed that Jack had a concerned look on his face, but he still chowed down on the potato chips while trying not to make any noise.
"Anyways, It's just a game," Lisa continued while trying to avoid eye contact with her disheartened brother. "Why don't you guys switch after one person dies."
"I'm fine with that, but this guy doesn't want to give up his controller after he dies," Red stated while pointing towards me. "And to pass through more difficult rounds of the undead... we need... proper manpower."
"Clearly an exaggeration. I just need two turns instead of one," I tried to defend myself while lightening the mood. "But remember that time I survived a full ten minutes?"
"You guys hash this out however you want, I'm going out," Lisa's final words could be heard as she closed the door behind her and began to run downstairs.
We could hear her slam the door as she exited the house. Then there was another door that opened in the distance, and this time it was her car. She then quickly sped off in her car. There was a long pause in the room and each of us knew that a decision had to be made. At this point, I would just give up and leave the room, however, this time I decided to approach this differently by coming to a better compromise. "I'll let you guys play first and then I'll just wait for the next match."
"You're sure about this?" Red asked with a smirk. "Because when Jack and I play, we take hours."
"I mean one time we played a match from morning till night time until we paused it overnight and continued the match the next day," Jack chimed in.
"Round 129 we got up to," Red smiled as he and Jack stared at each other proudly.
"No, it's really not a big deal, I will just watch," I replied. At this point, they tried to conceal their excitement and began the match. I proceeded to sit on the chair and began cheering for them. Something that I had never done before. As they continued to play on their console, I looked around the room. Everything felt very surreal. We all sat in these chairs that we got from the dining room, and even though the space felt congested, it was better than Jack's parents getting mad at him for playing games all day long. Therefore, he practically lived at my house, and Red always tagged along.
"You know, maybe she's right," Red mentioned while continuing to play the game. "I mean soon, we will have to grow up at some point."
"Maybe... but not now," I said. "Just enjoy this moment."
"We don't need a job," Jack spoke up with confidence. "Who wants to work a 9 to 5 job? Sitting in a little cubicle and waiting for the boss-man to come out of his office just to hand you more reports to work on. And it's Christmas... your wife probably thinks you're at a strip club. But no, you only wish you were. But you're there just staring at the desk, imagining ways you could kill yourself with a stapler."
"That's awfully descriptive," Red responded with a smile. "Now I want you to work in a cubicle."
"Well, don't you worry about that right now," I said while reaching for a bottle of water from a table that was on the right side of the chair. "Maybe everything will work out just fine."
"You're joking right?" Red interrupted. "Is this you, Paul?"
"The old Paul you knew is dead," I chuckled.
They both stared as I walked towards the hallway and then downstairs to the front door. I opened the door slowly and a bright white light blinded me. As I slightly covered my eyes, shielding myself from the rays of the sun, the brightness began to dim and I stood there in awe at the miraculous sight. I began walking around and as I inched further and further from my house, the outside world seemed to become much brighter. Every block that I passed, a random stranger seemed to greet me with a friendly smile. Cars passed me frequently and I began to realize the liveliness of this city.
Water fountains, red roses, to children running around seemed to elevate my mood, which suppressed other memories.
I knew that this wouldn't last forever so I tried to cherish each and every passing moment to the point where it drove me insane because I had never been happier.
"ARE YOU OKAY?" Jack asked ferociously. "Snap out of it!"
As I heard his rough voice, I snapped out of the dream-like world to find myself sitting on a chair and staring outside a window. Although this time, things were much different.