Zahara flipped her hair behind her head and fixed her graphic tee. She took a sip of the light alcohol drink and placed it down. She didn't drink often, because her mother always told her that alcohol was something that affected the body, including your third eye. So, she kept it at a minimum. She had no choice to when she was slowly becoming an alcoholic in her college days.
Her mother was very spiritual and holistic. She grew up in a family where she didn't eat meat and was pretty much a vegan. The family was looked at as weird since the two daughters were born, because their parents didn't fit into the society. They were two black hippies that didn't fit the norm of what people thought black people were.
Throughout Zahara's childhood, her friends were shocked to see her father smoking weed on the porch with his nails painted, playing guitar. Instead of being on the streets.
It took a toll on Zahara and Kasey growing up, because they just weren't normal. They didn't grow up like their peers did and the didn't do things that their peers did.
Zahara was always trying to blend in. She tried so hard that she forgot who she was and ended up falling off track. She wanted to have a normal family, but her mother snapped her to reality. Her father told her that normal wasn't real.
Normal was a safe word for people who didn't want to step out of their comfort zone. Normal was for people who were afraid to peel off the paint off the wall and see it for what it really was. Normal was for people who had personality, but were so locked into a box that they didn't know any other emotions but negative ones.
And just like that, Zahara grew to love her family, and her upbringing for what it was. She was over that phase. But there was just one thing that she couldn't tackle...
Being an adult and taking responsibility. Being a human and trying to be aware.
At the age of twenty six, she was nothing of the sort.
"We come here almost every Saturday and every time we come here, it's like the comedians they bring get worse and worse."
Topanga scoffed and watched as the handsome black man stood with confidence on stage as he earned laugh across the audience.
"I think he's funny."
"You think he's fine and you wouldn't mind fucking him on that stage-"
"Zahara!" Topanga nudged her as she looked around. She placed her arm into the table as looked over at Zahara as if she was bat shit crazy.
She was right.
Zahara was bat shit crazy.
"What? I'm just saying what you're thinking."
"In public though..." Topanga rolled her eyes. She looked off to the comedian and sighed heavily.
"So, what's going on with the whole 'losing your job' thing?" Topanga looked at her. "Did you find something else?"
"Nope," Zahara popped her lips and shook her head. She had all the qualifications, but nothing appealed her. Her attitude also got her resume thrown out some of the times. Her mind was always racing on ways to upgrade and change, and people just didn't like the fact that someone applying was giving so much input.
"It's been almost two weeks!"
"I've tried everything." Zahara sighed and threw her head back.
"Why don't you ask Aaron for a job at his corporate?" Topanga asked.
"I am not asking a guy that I used to fuck if I can get a job." Zahara scoffed and took a sip of her drink. "I'm supposed to be upgrading, not begging him for a job."
Zahara and Aaron had dated for three years and there wasn't anything wrong with them specifically. Oh, he was great and taught her how to handle her money wisely. She was amazing, brought him on his spiritual journey. But it just wasn't the right timing.
She was coming out of rehab and decided to cut all things off in her life and start with a fresh start. Aaron being one of the them.
Did it cause a bit of bitterness between them? Yes
Were there feelings still there? Yes, they still loved each other, but there was nothing else. They had love for each other and wished one another the best.
But, Zahara still wanted to show him that there was an upgrade.
"Stop being stubborn!"
"I'm being smart!" Zahara frowned and placed her glass down.
"No, you're not," Topanga shook her head. "I get the pride that you have and not wanting to see Aaron after everything that went down. But, you need a job."
Zahara bowed her head onto the table and groaned. She felt like she was behind on so many things in life. Time didn't wait for her and she always thought about it.
"I just feel like I'm almost thirty and I don't even have my life together. I-I'm at a lost here."
"It's okay to be lost," Topanga nudged her. "By everyone has their life together. He's probably still living with his mom-in her basement." She said as she pointed to the comedian.
They both chucked and lied their head against each other, receiving looks from everyone.
"No one has their shit together. No one has it together, but they try."
Zahara scoffed and looked at her best friend since fourth grade in disbelief. "Are you saying I don't try?"
"That's exactly what I'm saying."
"I do try."
"You don't," Topanga shrugged. "And that's fine, everyone has things to work on."
Zahara shook her head and downed her last drink. The comedian received claps and cheers, indicating that he was finished. Finally.
She stood up to her feet and walked over to the bar to get herself a refill. Silently, she groaned as Topanga followed her and got herself a drink as well. She was getting a refill of water since she was the one driving.
"You're right, everyone has something they should work on. But I do try."
"You try to make an easy way out or implement fun into whatever you're doing, so you don't get pressured and quit. There's times to be serious and you just-" Topanga chuckled at her stubborn best friend and clasped her hand over her shoulder. "Don't know those. Sometimes you don't know to be adult."
Zahara shrugged. She had no more words for Topanga, because she was absolutely right. It was habit of hers hat she had ever since she was a child. She just didn't take anything seriously.
"And being thirty doesn't mean you're supposed to have your shit together and be this uptight adult. It's like being twenty again, there's responsibilities but there's fun."
"You're right," Zahara smiled and grabbed her glass. She held it up and smiled at Topanga.
"To being twenty six."
"I have water."
"Who gives a shit."
"To being twenty six."
Their glasses clinked together before they both downed their drinks. Zahara pulled out her vibrating phone and looked down at it.
"Mama bear is calling. We should head out."
The room was getting pretty loud as the DJ began playing music. The girls placed their glasses down and headed out of the building. Their arms hooked together as they walked to the parking lot, Topanga making sure to check their surroundings. Zahara surely wasn't, because she was in her own little world.
"Hey, mommy. What's up?"
"Nothing, I had this feeling to call you."
"You missed me, face it."
"I did not. I thank god everyday that my two daughters have moved out of the house," Anna said dramatically.
Zahara placed her hand against her chest and looked out of the window as Topanga drove off.
"That hurts."
"So, what do we need to catch up on?"
Zahara's eyebrows furrowed as she looked down at her phone and silence took over. Looking over at her best friend, she placed the phone on mute and cursed loudly.
"Fuck!"
Topanga gripped the steering wheel and looked at her in shock. "What? I almost fucking crashed, bitch."
"Anna knows."
"Your mom knows what."
"I don't have a damn job."
Hesitantly, she took the phone off mute and sighed heavily. "I've just been out and about... chillin'."
"How's work?"
"It's fun, just got paid," Zahara smirked. "It's Friday night, pa-"
"When were you going to tell your father and I that you lost your damn job?" Anna yelled out.
She was more than pissed. She was livid.
"I was gonna tell you guys. I just didn't know when."
"When did you think was the right time to tell us? When you and Kasey get evicted cause you can't hold up your end of the rent..."
"I have money saved up, we'll be fine." Zahara waved her mother off. She felt like she was being dramatic about everything. She just wanted her parents to have faith in her for once.
"That's not what your sister is telling us."
"Your sisters pissed," Kenny sang as he strummed on the guitar.
That bitch. Always going to Anna and Kenny when we live in the same house, Zahara thought. Her sister was now her target and she had a lot to say to her.
"It's been basically two weeks. The days go by very fast and soon you guys have to pay bills. If you would've told your father and I then we could've helped y'all. But as usual Zahara just sits on her ass and waits for things to unfold in front of her."
"I get that from you!" Zahara frowned.
"From me?"
"She doesn't get that from me," Kenny called out in the background.
"Boy, shut up," Anna waved him off and shook her head. "Look, find a damn job before you guys get kicked out of that townhouse, or I will personally come over there and drag you out of that bed and get you a job."
"I'm looking," Zahara said tiredly. "Either the pay is trash or they just can't handle a bit of criticism."
"Listen to me.." Her mother started.
Rolling her eyes, Zahara pulled the phone away from her ear and placed it on speaker.
"I-I'm sorry m-mom, y-you're breaking u-u-up."
She hung up and threw her phone into her lap.
"I need some weed."
"And a job."
"Fuck you," Zahara kissed Topanga's cheek and slipped out of the car. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, text me when you get home."
"Will do."
Topanga watched as she headed into the house and drove off.
Placing her jacket into the closet by the door, Zahara sighed and walked further into the house. She threw her heels to the side and walked upstairs to change into her pajama's.
She placed her silk hair tie over her head and trudged down the stairs. Involuntarily, she picked out her pajama shorts that were riding up her rear and entered her kitchen. She stirred the powder with the nut milk and heated it up.
She bent down and smiled at the chocolate cake in the oven. Quickly, she opened it and laughed at the note that was on the corner of the platter.
Don't take any. I made it for myself when I'm coming back.
"Girl, bye," Zahara bit into a piece and took a sip of her hot chocolate.
Kasey wasn't home and it seemed like she wouldn't be home for a while since she was most likely out on a date with the man that she'd been talking to for the past few weeks. They'd dated before in college and ended up having a odd and refreshing reunion when the sisters were grocery store.
They traded numbers and ended up going on a few dates ever since then.
Zahara placed the cake back into the oven and washed her cup. She took off all the lights and made sure the doors were locked before she headed upstairs.
Her eyes rolled as she began to brush her teeth and heard loud noises from the house beside them. Since they lived in a townhouse the houses were connected. She could hear everything.
And at that moment, Zahara could hear everything coming from her neighbours house.
Placing her hands against her cheeks, she looked into the mirror and smiled lightly. Zahara overcame all of her obstacles in her past. She settled into a part of her life where she was fine. Her soul was okay.
Slowly, she made her way to the plush bed and plopped onto it. She grabbed the rolled blunt that was on her counter and lit it. Not only was it going to help her fall asleep after the hot chocolate settled her down, but it was gonna put her heart at ease.
Leaning her head against her headboard, she took a pull and released through her nose. After a couple more pulls, she rested the bud onto the ash tray and pulled the covers over her body.
Tomorrow was a new day and she'd go about it accordingly. Tomorrow was a new day and she'd try to find a job-she'd get out of bed and find a job.
-
She lied.
Zahara Jenkins was still in bed with her head tucked between her pillows and her legs sprawled out.
Her light snores made a repeating record around the room as she slept heavily. She was such a deep sleeper, she didn't hear her room door open. But she did feel someone hand mushing her had continuously.
"Wake up!"
"Zahara!"
"Hmm?" She groaned and looked up from her lazy position. In front of her stood her mother with her hands against her hips. Her expression was stern and angered as she looked down at her daughter.
"I told you I'd be here to drag your ass out of bed."
"Oh my god." Zahara walked into her bathroom, ignoring her mother.
Anna rolled her eyes and fixed her hoodie. Her outfit consisted of a regular black hoodie, wide pant blue jeans and her hair was pulled into a top knot. Her hazel eyes were covered with glasses.
"You're crazy, mama."
"Call me crazy, but at least you callin'." She rested her hand against her door. "You need to look for a job, Zahara."
"I am," Zahara looked at her mother as Ashe stepped into the shower and took off her clothes. "Are you gonna stand there as I'm showering?"
"Girl, I was bathing you until you were basically six."
Although she said that, she still turned away and gave her some privacy. In the meantime she walked around her daughters room and scrolled through her phone.
Zahara slipped out of the shower and immediately dried off. She slipped her clothes on and rubbed organic butter all over her body and tapped it into her skin.
"I told you I was going to find a job. You don't have to baby feed me anymore."
It was like her parents wanted her to grow up, but her mother continued babying her. Her father; Kenny always told his wife that it was a habit that she needed to break.
"Well, when you show me that you're capable of doing something then I'll back off."
"I have for years now." Zahara scoffed and poured the brewed coffee into her cup. She poured in some milk and sweetener before she took a sip and leaned against the counter.
"Okay fine. This is my last time," Anna sighed. "I got this job for you. You just have to do an interview, let them do some more background check and you're in."
"I knew I loved you," Zahara winked at her mother and gripped her mug in both hands. "What is it? Customer Service Representative?"
"Eh, something like that." She shrugged. "How do you feel about teaching?"
"I teach the kids at the music bank all the time."
No big deal.
"How about teaching children as a substitute teacher?"
"Sorry what?"
"Substitute-"
"No, I heard you, but what makes you think I'd be good for that job. The children at the music bank already stress me out enough."
"You have the credentials and you're amazing with kids. You have a degree that you haven't put to use!" Anna was truly upset with her daughter. She didn't understand why she was just throwing her life away.
"It's just a temporary job. One of the teachers at Parkinson's are going on maternity leave, you'd just be replacing her until she comes back. Just a year."
"I don't know..." Zahara sighed. The last thing she wanted to do was mess up in front of a bunch of kids. She didn't think that she was the best influence.
"The pay is good."
"Fine."
With victory, her mother smiled and grabbed her purse. She patted her daughters shoulder and kissed her cheek. "It was nice doing business with you. Tell Kasey I said later."
"Fuck her." Zahara mumbled.
"I heard that. Don't talk about my child like that."
"Well, she shouldn't be opening her mouth-"
The front door was softly closed, leaving Zahara in the kitchen alone. She rolled her eyes and turned to the stove as she began making her breakfast. She wanted something quick and settled for a egg sandwich, and a refill of her coffee.
"I swear I heard mom down here," Kasey ran her hands through her long hair that was curled with curlers into loose body waves. She rested her hands against the counter and watched as Zahara worked up a meal in the kitchen.
She was always a cooker while Kasey was a baker. They went together very well, other than the fact that they sometimes bickered.
"Oh, what are you cooking?"
Zahara's eyebrows furrowed in irritation as she watched her older sister hand stretch out to the pan. She smacked her hand and rolled her eyes.
"Ow!"
"I should do more than that!" Zahara turned towards her and turned off the gas stove.
"What?" Kasey looked at her in confusion as she poured herself a cup of coffee. She liked hers black.
"Why'd you complain to mom and dad about me not having a job?"
"I thought we tell them everything."
"You were complaining! As if you couldn't come to me and talk your shit."
"You wouldn't have listened," Kasey looked at her with wide eyes. "You never listen."
"When it comes to this house I would've listened to your input. But instead you had to go tell them, like who does that?" She placed her food on a plate and tried walking away, but Kasey blocked her way.
"Zahara, I just needed them to talk to about it-"
"I have to go," Zaraha said. "I'll cool off and then we'll talk later."
Kasey looked at her younger sister for what felt like forever and sighed heavily. She knew that she had to give her sister space so that the conversation could flow better. Things were better if they both had space and stopped yelling at one another.
Kasey threw her hands up and stepped aside. "Fine."
________________________
hey guys, I hope that y'all are enjoying the book so far.
ya better be!
discussion: what do you guys think? thoughts on Zahara? what do you guys think about her personality so far? how do you guys feels about Topanga? should Zahara accept the teaching job? thoughts on Kasey and Zahara's situation, who's in the wrong?
voting and commenting goals will not be starting yet. I want y'all t get a feel of the book first.
if you'd like to read more of my content when I'm not updating, you can purchase the full versions of Home & Agape on amazon. the links are in my bio. I also have a series called Colours Of Imagination up as well.
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