"So we're just gonna wait out here?" Ian asks, hands shoved in his pockets.
"He's a chain-smoking pothead in a stress-inducing situation." I say to Ian, "he'll be out soon."
"What are we supposed to say?" He questions, nervously.
"I don't know, just play it cool." Lip shrugs carelessly.
"Play what cool?" Ian asks.
"Things people play cool. Jesus Ian." Lip rolls his eyes.
A phone starts ringing and Lip pulls it out of his pocket.
"You got your own cell?" I ask with a raised eyebrow.
"No, some kid left it in the cafeteria." He tells us making Ian, Jonas and I chuckle, as Lip answers the phone and begins talking to Karen about the water heater we are attempting to score, asking if she wants to meet up after.
"Still can't believe he's boning Karen Jackson." I shake my head with a scoff.
"She's an interesting one." Jonas hums in agreement, "she's got this whole innocent thing going but Jesus she gets around."
I turn to him with a raised eyebrow, "she been around to you?"
"Why? You jealous?" Jonas teases.
"God, get a room you too." Ian groans.
"Oh, shut up," I shove Ian and we begin play-fighting, which is the sight Lip comes back around the corner to.
Not long after, the man comes back outside for a smoke and we manage to get the old lady's water heater. We find a stolen shopping trolley nearby, loading it into it and beginning the trek come. Steve's car pulls up beside us, Fiona getting our attention as she calls out the open window.
"Hey, hey!" She yells.
"Hey Fi," I reply, before gesturing to the water heater with a grin, "almost new."
"Debbie stole a baby, we have to figure out how to return it." Fiona immediately says, ignoring the water heater success. I suppose there are more pressing issues.
"Debbie stole a baby?" Lip repeats in disbelief.
"Yeah," Steve speaks up.
"Why?" Ian asks furrowing his eyebrows.
"It's Debbie." Fiona huffs, rolling her eyes slightly.
"I did not see that coming. Um... can't we just give it back?" I point out.
"I wish we could. It's too late now." Steve responds.
"Wow." Lip raises his eyebrows.
"Find Carl and get home now." Fiona orders.
"Yeah," we chorus, nodding at our stressed older sister.
"Yeah, your family is definitely more fucked than mine," Jonas announces, reminding us all that he's here.
"If your family managed to beat us in that area, I'd be concerned." I roll my eyes, "come on, we gotta find Carl."
We soon find Carl in an alleyway digging through a dumpster, and when we call out his name he gets out holding a cracked bong.
"Fucking hell," I snatch it out of his hand and toss it back into the bin.
He pouts and tries to guilt-trip me into giving it back.
"No," I sternly say to him, "but I can do you one better."
His eyes light up lighting, and he looks at me in curiosity, "really?"
"Oh yeah kiddo," I nod bending down to his height, "Debbie stole a baby," I say quietly.
"No way!" He says, jaw dropping and eyes filling with excitement.
"Yep, now we've gotta get home and stop any of us getting sent to prison, okay?"
He nods enthusiastically and we continue walking back home.
"You're so good with him," Jonas says to me.
I don't know how to respond so I just shrug.
We get back to the house and quickly rush inside, leaving the water heater on the back porch. Fiona, Steve, Lip, Ian and I sit around the kitchen table opposite Debbie, while Jonas keeps Liam and Carl entertained.
"We need to get your story straight for the police, why did you take the boy?" Fi asks.
"He was crying for his mum and his mum wasn't around." Debbie shrugs.
"Did you try to find his mum?" Fiona questions hopefully.
"No, he was crying and nobody cared." She immediately replies, "so I took him." She bluntly states.
"You can't say that! What's wrong with you?" Fiona raises her voice in frustration, Steve trying to calm her down.
"Okay, Debs," I calmly say, "was he inside or outside of the yard when you grabbed him?" I ask her.
"Inside." She nods.
I look at her for a second, "okay... so how did you get him out?"
"I waved a Snickers bar at him." She tells us.
"Fuck me," I mutter under my breath.
"Did anybody see you?" Ian asks.
"I don't think so. We just ran."
"That wasn't suspicious." Fiona scoffs.
"So you were running down the street-" Ian tries to continue getting the story when Debbie interrupts.
"I used a stroller." She expands.
"What stroller?" Fiona asks in confusion.
"Liam's old one." Debbie answers.
"The one I told you to throw out?"
"I fixed it." Debbie grins, "for emergencies." We all turn to the door in fear when we hear loud banging on it from outside, sat on the edge of our seats in anticipation.
"Open up! Hurry!" Veronica screams from the other side, making us all physically relax and breathe a breath of relief.
"Shit," Lip sighs, getting up to let them in.
"What in the hell is going on?" V loudly asks.
"Is this that missing kid?" Kev holds up a laundry basket that presumably had the kid; Casey, hidden inside.
"Debbie stole him, and now we have to give him back without getting her thirty-six months in Juvie."
"Why in the world would she steal-" Veronica asks, but stops when she gets a look from Fiona.
"There must a couple hundred cops out there." Kev freaks out, looking through our kitchen window.
"I know. I'm so sorry." Fiona grimaces, before turning to our little sister, "Debs, will you watch him for a second?" She then looks back to Kev and V, "Come with us."
"Casey, we're gonna play couple games, okay?" Debbie says to the little boy, as we all go to the living room, sending Carl and Liam into the kitchen with Debbie and Casey, whilst Jonas stays with us.
"I'm not sure what's going on with her." Fiona sighs, sitting down in the armchair.
"Oh, maybe it's 'cause your mum bailed and Frank's a big drunk." Kev shrugs, receiving glares from everyone, especially Veronica since we all know it's true, she's just appalled that her long-term boyfriend would actually say that. "Oh, what? I'm the asshole now? She's the one who stole a baby."
"All right, look. She obviously planned it. I mean she took the stroller out of the garbage and she fixed it." Lip points out.
"All right, hey," Steve gets our attention, "Debbie is still just a little kid, worst thing that happens is she gets some help."
"Help?" Lip and I immediately ask.
"What kind of help?" Ian follows up.
"She stole a baby," Steve blatantly reminds us.
"She's not crazy." Fiona confidently says.
"She just sort of accidentally took a kid." I agree.
"Not if she lured him out of the yard with a candy bar," he argues back in response.
"What are you suggesting?" Fi asks.
"Some kind of professional to-"
"What? A shrink?" Lip exclaims.
"Gallaghers do not do therapy." Fiona sternly tells him.
The discussion is interrupted by what sounds like Tony's voice over a speaker, "missing two-year-old boy, Casey Casden. He was last seen wearing a superman costume. If you have any information, call 911."
"Look, we need a plan to get that boy back to his family." Fiona sighs, "or family services is gonna have a field day."
"Family services?" Steve asks, looking over to me slightly, remembering what I had told him when he left Frank in Canada.
"If they find out Frank's moved, they'll take the kids, split them up." She tells him before looking back to Lip, Ian and I, "remember what happened last time?"
"Shit," Lip mutters.
"Exactly." Fi nods.
Lip and I devise a plan, whilst almost all of us, besides the little ones, are smoking joints and drinking copious amounts of coffee in a futile attempt to stay calm.
"All right, Carl, you know that payphone that's outside of the Kash and Grab?" I get his attention.
"Yeah." He nods.
"All right, I want you to get on your bike, go to the payphone, call the police," Lip tells him.
"Tell them that you saw a little boy walking down Southport Avenue at 2:45, okay?" I say slowly, to make sure he understands, quickly scribbling it down on a piece of paper in case he forgets.
"Why should I?" He sassily asks.
"Want to be in a children's home until you're eighteen?" Ian reminds him of what's at stake.
"Group home on Union has a climbing wall." He shrugs with a small smirk.
"Carl." Fiona and I sternly say.He sighs, "I don't have a bike."
"Wire cutter's in the junk drawer." Ian reminds him.
Carl deliberates for a second before giving in and nodding. I hand him the piece of paper of what he needs to say and gets up to grab his coat and the wire cutters, before leaving.
"Steve, Fiona, you guys have to get Debs to take that kid back." Lip gives out the next task.
"I don't know if I can make that happen," Fiona replies shaking her head, stressed.
"Fiona, you have to, or else we're all fucked," I tell her.
She takes a deep breath, "okay."
"All right, Veronica, I want you to go to the cleaners, ask Mrs. Bergdoll to use the phone in the back," I tell her.
"That woman's a cold bitch." She raises an eyebrow, unsure how exactly she's going to be able to convince her to let her use her phone.
"I've got something for that, okay?" I tell her, "don't worry about it."
She shrugs, agreeing to do it, and we turn to Kev.
"Kev, what time you going to work today?" Lip asks.
"Uh, I go in at six." He answers.
"You're going in early." I tell him, "you should go in, tell them you saw a little boy in a Superman costume walking down Grand Avenue."
"Yeah, okay, got it." He nods, muttering what he needs to say under his breath to remember.
"Debbie's story is that she was walking up Southport Avenue, she saw Casey by himself, crying," I explain to Fiona and Steve.
"She went to call the police on the phone outside of Connie's Pizza, but it was broken." I continue.
"That phone's not broken though..." Fiona trails off, "is it?"
"Which is why Jonas and I are gonna go and break it," I answer.
"We are?" Jonas speaks up.
"Yep." I nod.
"Vandalism... okay, not what I had planned for today but sure," he shrugs.
"Who is this?" Veronica asks, apparently only just taking notice of him.
"Emma's boyfriend." Ian teases.
"Not my boyfriend." I groan.
"Not her boyfriend," Jonas says at the same time.
"Can we get back to the plan?" Lip asks.
"Please." I roll my eyes at Ian. "Debbie will say she tried asking people to use their phone but no one would listen to her, come up with some bullshit. Fiona, Jonas and I will leave the house with Casey and Debbie and Lio will take Liam, so that no one sees Debbie leaving the house with Casey."
"We'll switch them around, then Debs will walk him home. Ian and I will stay here with the kid, everyone knows what they're doing?" Lip concludes.
We all murmur agreements and head off to complete our tasks, and I give Veronica a gram of weed to convince Mrs. Bergdoll. Jonas and I don't take long and are soon back at the house. As we are walking back inside through the backdoor, I notice that the water heater is no longer there.
"Hey, did you bring in the water heater from the back porch?" I ask Lip when we enter.
"No," he shakes his head.
"Well, it's not on the porch," I tell him, sighing as I realise it got nicked.
"Seriously?" He asks, rushing outside to see for himself, quickly coming back inside and slamming the door behind him, "bunch of fucking animals."
"Steve, Debbie, Liam, we gotta go," Lip yells to get all of them ready.
"Fiona, you and I have got Casey, all right?" I say.
The switch goes fine and we send Debbie on her way with Casey, while we take Liam to Sheila's so we have an alibi.
The three of us, plus Liam, walk into Sheila's house, seeing the news playing on the TV, showing updates on the missing Casey Casden. There are seemingly hundreds of muffins covering almost all of the surfaces of the ground floor of her house, but I dismiss it, knowing that Sheila is a bit... a bit nuts, to be blatantly honest.
She turns around in her chair to look at us, "Fiona, Emma," what a pleasant surprise," she drowsily smiles at us, ignoring Jonas' presence which makes me chuckle under my breath at the exasperated look on his face due to being forgotten all day long.
"So they haven't found him yet?" Fiona asks, elbowing me in the ribs to silently scold me for laughing.
Sheila drastically sighs, "I can't stop thinking about what his parents must be going through."
"I know." Fiona awkwardly replies, and then there's an even more awkward moment of silence.
"Do you want a drink?" Sheila asks us out of nowhere, "I've got a lot of booze, no mixers."
"Cup of coffee would be great." Fiona smiles at her, answering quickly to stop me from asking about the available booze.
Sheila looks at us, not moving.
"Why don't I make it?" Fiona suggests, walking towards the kitchen.
"Oh, don't mind me." Sheila mumbles, "I accidentally took three of my pills instead of one."
Jonas and I walk over to the muffin covered table and I pick one up, raising an eyebrow at Jonas with a smirk, making him grab one too.
Fiona walks back into the living room with her cup of coffee and freezes, "oh my god."
I follow her line of sight and look to Sheila, who has started playing Peekaboo with Liam on the couch. This, of course, isn't concerning. What's made us panic is that she is using Casey's superman cape to play.
"Fuck," I shove the muffin into Jonas' hands and grab the cape from Sheila. I run outside the house, seeing Debbie walking with Casey towards his house. Casey's parents are running towards him and quickly rush to Debbie as they're hugging him. "Where have you been?" I say to Debbie, shoving the cape into her hands, "we've been worried sick about you."
"Where did you find him?" The mother asks.
"He was walking all by himself. I didn't know where he lived." Debbie answers calmly, handing the father Casey's cape. I grin at my little sister, she came through in the end.
"Thank you, you're an angel." The mother cries with joy, and I see Fiona and Jonas heading over to us.
"I don't- I don't- I don't know how to thank you." The father stammers, looking between his son and Debbie, "um, here, just, um- here, take all- take it. Take all of it. Just take everything. Thank you. Thank you." He empties his wallet and throws it towards Debbie. All the other people around, who were waiting around to see that Casey got home safe, start throwing money at Debbie, making Fiona and I grin, whilst Debs look baffled.
"I told you we'd find him, my Debbie found him," Frank yells walking down the street, a pint still in his hand, in a glass he had one hundred percent just stolen from the alibi. "A Gallagher saved the day! You bunch of losers, heh."
While Debbie says goodbye to Casey and his parents, Frank bends down to begin picking up the money on the floor, placing down his beer.
Ian and Lip who have now arrived, walk over to our excuse of a father, be following suit.
"That's Debs's," I say to him.
"No, I'm just helping her." He lies.
Ian treads on one of his hands to stop him from picking up anymore, making Frank grunt in pain.
"You're on my hand, you're-" He stops speaking when Lip puts his foot on his other hand, "all right, I am your father."
"Yeah, sadly you are," I roll my eyes, as I pick up his beer, before pouring the remainder of it over his head.
My brothers and I laugh at the sight whilst Frank groans.
Tony tells Fiona that he needs to take her and Debbie down to the station to get a statement, making all our hearts drop in fear. But Debbie seems to have really made a breakthrough and can now lie like a true Gallagher.
Ian, Carl, Jonas and I all walk home together, Lip's gone to hang out with Karen for a bit, and Jonas and I decided to walk ahead of the rest of my family.
"I'm sorry about today." I look at him with a sheepish smile, "you better get used to this, you've left it too late to escape the chaos of the Gallaghers."
"Oh, I'm in too deep am I?" He raises an eyebrow at me.
"Mhmm." I nod, grinning.
Jonas smiles, putting an arm over my shoulder, "she did well today; Debbie."
"Yeah, she did," I sigh, a contempt smile settling on my face, as I enjoy this brief moment where I'm not worrying about all the other stuff going on in my life right now.
We get home and eventually so do Fiona and Debbie, and we all sit watching the newscaster concluding the stressful events of today.
Steve comes through the back door and calls for Fiona to come over and shortly after they both come into the living room, Steve pushing in a stroller with a baby doll in it.
"Hey Debs, look what Steve bought." Fiona smiles.
"Oh my god! For me?" She stands up from the couch and runs over to see the gift.
"Absolutely," Steve nods, "for doing such a great job today."
"Thank you!" Debbie squeals.
"What you gonna name her?" I ask, grinning at the excitement on her face, glad that she's cheered up, back to her cheery self since this morning.
"Gin-Gin. After Aunt Ginger." She tells us all, "let's go up to my room. We can play." She tells the doll. "Oh, Gin-Gin, you're so funny, heh. Oh, Gin-Gin, you're so much fun!" She disappears up the stairs
We look between each other, concerned for our little sister's... how do I put this nicely... sanity.
Fiona and Steve head upstairs, while Ian, Carl, Jonas and I sit down watching TV and chatting for a bit, and soon Lip joins us.
Veronica and Kevin come running into the house, carrying cases of beer.
"Get ready to party Gallaghers!" She beams at us, and we immediately get up, Ian going under the stairs to grab the stereo. "Fiona? Fiona where are you? FIONA!" She passes bottles of beer to Kev to put into our fridge and hands each of us one.
Carol, V's mum, walks through the door carrying multiple bottles of champagne, right as Fiona appears at the bottom of the stairs, Steve right behind her.
"What the hell? Champagne?" Fiona raises an eyebrow as Carol hands her a bottle.
Veronica goes up to her smiling, "I'm getting married."Fiona screams, "Oh my god!" Pulling Veronica into a huge hug, as we all cheer and clap loudly.
We all dance and sing and drink and smoke until we hear a beeping from outside and all rush out to see what it is. Debbie is talking to a deliveryman and hands him some money before signing a form on his clipboard.
"Debbie?" Fiona calls out, as we go over to our little sister.
"What is this?" Ian asks, furrowing his eyebrows.
"It's our new water heater, I got it one sale." She tells us, making us all cheer again for the second time tonight, "and free delivery, they said because I'm a hero."
"That you are, my girl!" Veronica shouts, laughing.
"You're gonna go to the back and then make a sharp left and install it in the kitchen," she instructs the delivery men, as they unload it from the truck.
"Right on back," Lip chimes in.
"Yeah, straight down." Debbie nods, "by the way, I call the first hot shower."
We all spend the rest of the night partying and it amazes me how this day has gone from a disaster where our water heater broke and then the one we found got stolen, and almost becoming felons, to ending with an engagement party followed by hot showers. It really does feel good to be a Gallagher.