Even though summer was slowly but surely coming to an end it was unusually cold in Florida today. I sighed and swung my legs out of bed. I just sat there for a minute starring off just thinking.
I miss him.
I took a shower and got dressed in an all-black sweatshirt that Ski gave me, leggings, and wore some black Birkenstocks with black socks to match. I've been wearing his clothes a lot lately because they reminded me of him and I missed him so much. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I look like crap. I had terrible bags under my eyes and it looked like I hadn't slept in days; Which I hadn't. I grabbed my car key and made my way out the door to start my day.
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I hate it here.
It feels like I've been stuck in my mind for an eternity and I felt like I was in hell. I feel like I was being punished for how much of a shitty person I had been. I was forced to not only lay here and listen to my mom cry but Eudoria also. Currently, I think Jahseh is here. His voice sounded muffled but I knew it was him due to the fact he would call me a dumbass or vro here and there. I could tell that he was mad at me but also worried.
"Vro you gotta wake up. I know your still in there. Don't you dare fucking die on me or I swear to God I bring you back just to kill you again," I heard Jahseh's muffled voice say to me. I then felt him start to lightly slap my face.
"Uhm sir I don't think you should do that," I heard who I assume was the nurse said.
"Fuck off," I heard Jahseh say to her. This nigga here.
"Vro if you wake up. No scratch that WHEN the fuck you wake up you need to do better. You need to take better care of yourself. Seriously. You need to stop depending on others to make you happy. I know you like to rap and shit so maybe you should focus on that and just work on yourself. You got a young jit crying over you and shit," he said then I heard him sniffing.
He was right I did need to get better. Living like this would only bring me to an early death. I'd hate to leave the people I love like that. I could hear the door open and I assumed it was her. She comes to visit me almost every day but never really talks to me though. She usually just holds my hand, cry, and rub my cheek since she knows I love that.
"Hey Eudoria," I heard Jahseh say then get up from next to me I assume to let her sit instead.
"Hi Jahseh," I heard her croak out. I could hear her pain in her voice. I hate that I'm the reason why. I wanted so badly to hold her.
"I'll leave you two alone," Jahseh said then I heard the door close.
She grabbed my hand and held it. I felt her press her lips to my forehead. I could feel butterflies immediately swarm my stomach. I still get the same feeling as if I just met her yesterday. Silence engulfed us.
"Stokeley baby I know you can hear me. I n-need you. I need you to wake up for me. Please. I hate that I said all that stuff to you and I wish I could've been there for you. I should've been there f-for you," her voice was cracking and I could tell she was crying.
It's not your fault mama it was mine
"I love you Stokeley. I know you don't feel the same way back but that doesn't matter to me. I love you and that's all that matters. I miss hearing your laugh. I miss you letting me listen to your music while you jump around. I miss you roasting my ass and I just.... I miss you Stokeley," she said kissing my hand.
I tried my hardest to move any part of my body. It didn't matter I just needed to wake up. I could finally feel my feet and I tried to wiggle my toes. I could feel myself slowly gain control over my body. I could hear Eudoria crying and that only pushed me to try harder.
I squeezed her hand.
"S-Stokeley oh my God baby can you hear me? Hold on a sec let me go get the nurse!" she let go of my hand and left the room hurriedly. I slowly started to open my eyes and I was blinded by the bright lights. My vision was blurry and I could barely even see anything but I was just happy to finally be awake.
Eudoria came back in the room with the nurse who started asking my question and shit but I wasn't even paying attention because I was too busy starring at Eudoria. Even when she looked in distress she still looked beautiful. I saw that she was wearing one of my sweatshirts that I gave her and that made me smile. She was fumbling with her nails and avoiding my eyes. I could tell that she really wanted to hug me but was scared too.
"C'mere mama," I croaked out slowly lifting my arms up. She started bawling her eyes out and fell into me. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her so tight. I refuse to ever let her go again.
"Y-you scar-ed me half t-to death Stokeley. I-I haven't heard your v-voice in a week" I heard her cry while hiccuping here and there.
"I know mama I'm so sorry. I'll never do that shit to you again I swear on my life," I said hugging her even tighter.
The nurse asked me a few questions and left soon after. Eudoria never left my arms. She just laid there up under me while hugging me and making sure I was okay. I never had girl care this much about me and she had me feeling some type of way. I've been feeling like this for a while. Me almost dying made me realize I never got to tell Eudoria how I feel. But I didn't want to ruin the moments so I'll let it be for now.
For now, I just wanted us to stay like this.
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2 Weeks Later
I was finally out of the hospital and I was mad happy. I was currently staying at Eudoria's and she hasn't let me out her sight. She scared I might try to harm myself even though I told her countless times I'm fine.
"Stokeley are you hungry?" Eudoria interrupted me.
"For the last time, I'm good mama stop worrying about me," I said pulling her by her arm into the bed with me. I started to kiss on her neck.
"Ski stop playing so much. Just cause I'm taking care of you and were speaking again doesn't mean we're back together," she said slowly removing herself from my arms. But I didn't allow her to and instead pulled her back into my arms.
"I ain't tryna hear allat lul girl just lay with me for a bit"
After her struggle in my grasp, she finally gave in a melted in my arms. She had just taken a shower and she smelled up sweet citrus and it was intoxicating.
"Stokeley we can't keep doing this to each other. We have to eventually let go... figuratively and literally," she said removing herself from my arms once again. I felt a chill rush over my body from her lack of body heat.
"Who the fuck is we? Speak for your damn self girl, I'm not letting shit go," I said rolling my eyes.
"Look I don't wanna argue with you right now," She said avoiding my eyes.
She wasn't telling me something.
I haven't known Eudoria for a long time but it felt like we've known each other for an eternity. I know the little things she does like the back of my hand.
Whenever she wouldn't look me in the eyes that mean she was either lying or hiding something from me. When she would pick at her fingernails that meant she was nervous. And right now she was doing both.
I looked her up and down before finally speaking my mind, "You got something you wanna get off your chest?"
"No thoughts, head empty," she said still not looking at me.
"You su-"
"Ski I'm good I swear," she said looking at me with a forced smile.
I didn't believe her but I decided to just drop the conversation for now.
"Wanna smoke?" I said trying to lighten the mood and break the awkward silence.
She let out a small laugh and shook her head at me.
"Yeah I'll go get the tray, find us a movie to watch," she said leaving the room as I stared at her ass. Damn her shit was fat and I could feel myself getting hard. I really feel like Eudoria has been wearing tight ass clothes to rub it in my face that I can't touch.
Lord give me the strength
I hope you all enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I did writing it. There will be another update sometime this week. Make sure to comment and vote. Thank you!