When I got out of the hotel room I felt like I had just left a part of me alone in there. But I had.
I had left Jenny.
"Come on Niall, we're gonna be late." Michael said but I just glared at him.
"Heard the news, I'm so sorry mate." Louis patted my back.
"Don't." I said and just carried on walking out to the van where everyone else was too. I didn't speak the whole journey, just knowing I had left Jenny in that hotel room and I won't be back in one with her was breaking my heart.
We got there and I wasn''t even concentrating on anything anyone was saying to me. I couldn't. I hadn't even realised Lou was sitting doing my hair. I couldn't get Jenny off my mind. Usually she's right here with me and I can't cope that she's not.
"Niall, why are you crying?" Lou asked. I didn't know I was crying.
"M'not." I sniffled, though it was obvious I was.
"Okay, but you need to stop now or I am gonna have to put makeup on you." She said. I nodded and tried to stop the tears but I couldn't. "Niall, what's wrong?" She asked as she quiffed my hair.
"Had to break up with Jenny." I said and just broke into tears.
"What?! Why?" She asked.
"Michael wasn't gonna pay her anymore because she was dating me and she needs the moeny so we're not allowed to date." I cried.
"Niall, I am so sorry." She placed a hand on my shoulder and comfort was just what I needed right now. I just wish it was Jenny's.
"I love her." I whimpered.
"Niall, I know how hard this must be for you but you really can't cry right now because you have to sign all these books." She reminded me. I looked up at her and nodded. She handed me a tissue and I wiped my eyes and nose while she went to work on covering up my red rimmed eyes and rudolf nose.
"No more crying okay? Things will get better though." She tried to reassure me. I wanted to believe her, but I couldn't. Once she was done I was carted off to my seat while the fans were screaming outside the doors. I was seated between Louis and Liam and the screaming was already giving me a headache. I didn't feel well at all.
"Niall, draw something on the table too." Louis nudged me. He was doodling on the table with his marker. I hadn't even picked up mine. I couldn't find the inspiration to draw anything, I just wanted to write 'I love you Jenny'
"You alright mate?" Liam asked me. I just nodded, staying silent. I kept my body hunched over not bearing to look up at anyone. I just wanted to be on my own right now. Or more like be with Jenny.
I looked up to see pools of fans flooding the room. Suddenly, I felt the room growing warm and I wasn't feeling too peachy. I was passed a book and my hand shook terribly as I signed it. Just another ninety- nine to go.
"Hi Niall." The girl smiled. I gave her an unsure smile.
"Hi." I managed to choke out.
"Thank you." She smiled as I passed the book onto Liam. I managed to get through another few fans, then a blonde one appearred and suddenly, my mind was back on Jenny.
"Niall! I love you!" She said and I nearly choked on my breath. It was like in the movies, I was looking at her and all I could see was Jenny and she even said I love you. I couldn't take it and before I knew what was happening I was being dragged backstage by Lou. I had only written a wobbly 'Nia' on her book.
"Niall, stop crying, you're making the fans suspicious." Lou said.
"I can't help it." I cried.
"You have to stop crying and get back out there Niall, pull yourself together." She firmly said. I nodded and took in a deep breath and made my way back to my seat.
"Niall, are you okay?" One of the fans asked.
"Yeah, yeah, m'fine, just feeling a little sick today." I wasn't lying. I did feel sick. Extremly sick.
"Get better soon." She said before she was pushed off to Liam. All the other boys had smiles on their faces as they spoke to the fans but I wasn't even able to muster a smile. I looked deseprately between them and wondered how I was going to get through this.
"I love you Niall!" Another girl said.
"Love you." I replied with a fake smile.
"How's Jenny?" A girl asked me and everything stopped for me for a minute. I felt like everyone was watching me and I felt like I was going to be sick. I didn't know what to say or do. Everyone else was getting on with whatever they were doing but I wasn't able to move.
"I'm really sorry, I'm gonna be sick." I said to her and scurried off.
"Niall, you can't keep running away!" Lou called after me as I scrambled for the bathroom. I wasn't listening. I just needed to get to that toilet. "Niall." She said, folllowing me into the bathroom. "Oh Niall." She said when she seen me hunched over the toilet.
"I had to leave, I was hardly gonna be sick in the girls face." I stood up.
"Grow a pair of balls, get back there and act like nothing is going on, come on." She said. I nodded, though i wasn't convincing myself, never mind her. But I sullenly made my way back to my seat, taking a swig of my water.
I plastered a fake smile on my face and pretended like nothing was going on. If it's anything I am good at, it's pretending I am okay when really, I am broken on the inside.
If I done it before, I can do it again.
Jenny's POV
He left me all alone.
I felt terrible because this is all my fault just because I wouldn't take his money. It's my fault we're not together and I just want to be with him right now.
I love him so much but it's my fault he's upset but I can't let him pay for me. That would be wrong. Very wrong.
I sighed and started to pack my things. I put everything in my suitcase but I decided to take Niall's t-shirt I was wearing. It was his black with with the word 'poison' on it, written back to front.
I brought it up to my nose and breath in his scent. I got his Armani cologne on it, mixed with the sweet, but musky smell of him. It sent the butterflies in my stomach absolutely mental. I folded it nealty and placed it in my small bag along with my clothes.
If I can't have him, I'm at least having his shirt.
I just cried my eyes out as I zipped up my suitcase. There was a light knock on my door and I quickly wiped my eyes and answered it. It was Michael.
"Jenny, are you ready to go?" He asked and I just faintly nodded."I'm sorry things had to turn out like this, you know that, right?" He asked.
"That, I'm not too sure about." I grabbed my phone. He just sighed and picked up my other bags for me and took me to another hotel room.
"You can stay here tonight." He quietly said. "The boys will be back in a few hours so go to the spa or the pool or whatever tickles your fancy." He said and left the room.
The room felt horribly big and empty. I did not want to stay here all on my own tonight. It wasn't as big as the one I had been in with Niall, not that I cared. I just wished I could be here with Niall.
As I sat there in the room I couldn't see Niall or smell Niall and it just felt like he had been wiped from my life, even though I am going to see him later on.
Nothing is ever going to be the same for us.
Not as long as we're not allowed to be around each other outside of public.
Oh the irony.
At the beginning, we didn't want to be around each other outside of the public. Now we don't want to be away from one another.
The truth is, you never truly want something until you can't have it and it's out of reach.
Niall's POV
I was just glad when the last fan came into the room. It was a little girl, probably no older than six, making my heart melt. She passed the book to Harry who was at the start and started talking to him.
She had blonde hair like Jenny and as she made her way up the table I seen she had the same green sparkling eyes as her.
Maybe I am just imagining things.
"Hi Niall." She smiled.
"Hello, what's your name?" I asked her as I signed the book. The first time that day I wrote my name and it wasn't a wobbly mess.
"Gemma." She smiled, looking up at her mommy.
"Go on." Her mom said. She handed me a piece of paper with a small drawing on it.
"I drew this for you, it's you and Jenny." She beamed and I nearly burst into tears.
"Thank you very much, this is very good." I stood up and went around the other side of the table, ignoring security trying to stop me. I bent down and gave her a hug. She started giggling. She was adorable.
"Thank you Niall." She giggled and Liam took her book next, signing it. I looked at the drawing. There was a stick figure with yellow hair sticking up like grass and another one with blonde hair down to her feet. She had a pink bow in it and they were holding hands.
I wish I was holding her hand.
"Niall, come on, we can go now." Louis said.
"Oh right." I looked around to see it was only us two left in the room now. Gosh, I can't get that girl off my mind.
"Mate, are you sure you're alright?" He asked me.
"Yeah, just feeling a little down I guess." I sighed. Louis' the only person I ever tell my feelings to, other than Jenny. No, I can't think of her right now. I can't.
"You two can date again in a few months."
"I don't know how I can wait a few months and she still has to live with me, that's what makes it the worst." I said, letting a tear slip down my cheek. "And I love her." I picked at the hem of my shirt where there was a thread coming out.
"Oh Nialler." He sighed and hugged me. I really did need a hug. I needed comfort from someone and for someone to tell me everything is going to be okay. Even though it's clearly not going to be.
"Why did you have to break up?"
"Michael wasn't gonna pay her no longer and she needs the money for college to save, I offered to put her through college but she wouldn't even hear of it." I sighed.
"Oh Niall." He sighed, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.
"I really did love her." I quietly said.
"I know you did, I seen how happy you were when you're around her." He said, not really helping.
"You're not really helping." I pointed out.
"Sorry." He said.
"S'okay." I sighed as Paul came into the room.
"Come on boys, we have to go." He said and we both walked out to our vans. Without Jenny this time.
___________________
We had just finished the concert. I was tired agitated and missing Jenny. I hadn't seen her all day. Apparently Michael took her somewhere this evening to talk to her so I didn't get to see her.
It was back to the hotels now but I did not want to go back to that lonely hotel room. When I got into the hotel room I stripped off and just jumped in the shower. For a few minutes in the shower I had forgotten about her but that didn't last long, she was back in my mind again.
I didn't even realise I was crying until I got out of the shower and looked in the mirror. I sighed and just let mysef cry. I need to let it out, don't I?
I pulled on my boxers and got into bed. It was cold and lonely. I didn't like the feeling. I felt desolate.
I curled into a ball and tried to sleep, though I knew I wouldn't be able to even though I was wrecked. I must of been lying there with my eyes open for at least an hour.
Then, there was a very small, barely audible knock on my door.
Jenny's POV
I spent most of the afternoon in the spa just trying to get my mind off Niall. I got a facial, I got my nails done and I even had a relaxing massage. It was a lovely evening.
I got extentions on my nails and gel nails, so no more bitten nails.
AlThough, even though I tried, I couldn't stop thinking of Niall.
Then Michael took me out for dinner and fundamentally, set rules for me now that I am not dating him anymore, basically, I'm not allowed to be near him unless he permits it and it sucks so fucking much.
Like I am gonna listen to him though, when do I ever listen to anyone.
I was lying in my hotel room bed. I was scared shitless to be honest. It was dark, I was in a room I didn't know and I was all alone. I started to cry. I just miss Niall so much. I miss feeling him in bed with me.
I looked at my phone, it was after concert time anyways. I sighed and rolled over, trying to sleep. I couldn't though even though I tried for hours. I had been in bed since nine o'clock and I still can't sleep and it's after one now. I started to cry all over again.
I decided to give in and I put on my shoes and grabbed my phone. I was only wearing Niall's shirt and my undergarments but I didn't give a shit. I snuck out of the room and quietly walked down the long corridor that seemed to go one forever and ever, until finally, I reached Niall's room door and I softly knocked on the door.
I didn't think he'd hear me, I thought he'd be asleep by now but I could hear the rustling of the bedsheets and then I heard the pitter patter of his footsteps nearing the door.
My stomach done a somersault when the door opened the reveal Niall.
"Jenny." Niall said and hugged me tightly. I cried into his shoulder and breathed in his natural scent. He didn't have any aftershave on but his smell still made my stomach flutter.
"I missed you."
"What are you doing here you idiot! You know you're not allowed to be in the same room as me!" Niall exclaimed. His eyes were red rimmed and his cheeks tear stained, he had obviously been crying too.
"I missed you and I was scared on my own." I admitted.
"If Michael catches us he'll go mental." Niall said.
"What he doesn't know won't hurt him." I said and he chuckled. "I'll sneak out in the morning."
"You're so devious." He smiled, taking my hand and leading me inside the room. "Where did you get my shirt?" He asked.
"I stole it when I was leaving the room." I said and he laughed as he got into bed.
"Okay." He smiled. "Guess you can keep it, even though it's my favourite shirt."
"Nah, I'll give it back." I got in next to him.
"This is going to make things harder for us you know." He sighed.
"It's just a shirt."
"No, I mean like we're in bed together tonight and we know we shouldn't be and if we get caught we're dead basically." He sighed.
"I know, but I couldn't sleep without you." I admitted.
"I couldn't actually sleep either." He chuckled.
"So I figured when I knocked and you answered right away." I answered.
"Yeah, I guess we need each other."
"We do." I agreed.
"I feel like we're twelve or something and our parents don't want us to date so we have to sneak around." Niall said.
"Sucks doesn't it?"
"Yeah, maybe we'll both finally be able to sleep now." Niall kissed me. I nodded and snuggled into his side, feeling content and in my element.
"Night night." I whispered, feeling in a state of euphoria lying here with Niall.
"I love you." He softly said.
"I love you too."
"I always will, no matter how far apart Michael keeps us, one things for sure, is you're constantly gonna be on my mind, whether you're here with me or in a different country."
"Oh Niall." I grabbed his cheek and kissed him.
"I'm serious Jenny, you're the first girl I have ever loved and I hope you'll be the last because I wanna love you forever."
"Me too niall." I whispered.
"They can keep us apart, but they can't stop us from loving each other."
_____________________________________
A/N Once again thank you for soooooooo many comments so here's your update and I updated this before school so where's my round of applause hahaha 😊
Don't forget to vote and comment 😊