I wonder if Hunter is alright?
Ever since we got back I have ignored his advances. I refuse to be alone with him, I have rejected his endless attempts. Yesterday he was teasing me about spaghetti sauce on my lip, so I just wiped it off and said thanks.
I applied at Aquatic World and went out of my way to make sure our shifts didn't line up. Eventually it all got easier though. He took the hint and stopped texting me and cuddling up next to me.
But I'd be lying if I said I don't yearn for him to kiss me. He looks just as good as he has always been at school. I'm pretty sure he even has a girl he has his eyes on now.
It has been a whole month since we got back. Not much has really changed. I get rides from Andréa in the morning, help Eli and Luke with their homework, then I go and work till 8:30.
So far I have successfully avoided talking to Hunter. All my feelings finally feel like they are disappearing.
I open the huge front door, "Is anybody home?"
My voice echos up the states and throughout the entire house. I shut the door behind me and scurry up the stare. When I turn around the corner, someone runs into me.
I look up, my heart hoping to see Hunter.
"Woah," Collin grabs my elbow to steady me.
"Sorry," I try to sound happy, "What are you doing home? I thought you had work?"
Collin brushes his hair out of his eyes, his rings catching the light, "Uh, no I have today off. I'm going out tonight."
Apparently him and Aliyah broke up. She ended up cheating on him with some baseball player. Unsurprisingly.
"Oh?" I quirk my eyebrows at my foster brother.
"Ok. Don't be fucking weird," He rolls his eyes but laughs at me.
I'm thankful for Collin over these last few weeks. I wouldn't say we are best friends, but we are friends. Sometimes we watch Adventure Time in the mornings when nobody else is awake. It is almost like an unspoken agreement.
"Who is she?" I cross my arms over my chest, leaning against the wall.
"She is the class president," He hesitates, "Harmony Allbright."
My eyes widen, "You mean the really cute nerdy girl in our weights class?"
He nods and then pushes past me, "Yeah, well I gotta go. Tell mom I will be home for dinner."
"Ok," I yell, staring at the place where he was merely seconds ago.
The door slams shut and I am left alone again. I change into sweatpants and a large hoodie, kicking off my shoes. For the first time in a while I am alone in the huge house.
I plug in my phone then hurry downstairs. After I snatch a bag of chips from the cabinet and a soda from the fridge, I plop down onto the couch.
I scroll through shows on Netflix aimlessly. I don't know what to watch but I settle for a cooking show.
The front door opens and shuts, "Did you forget your keys again? Collin you really should-"
I turn around to face a honey haired boy, carrying a box full of doughnuts.
"Oh."
He smiles awkwardly, "Practice ended early..."
I nod and turn back to the flat screen. I expect for him to leave me alone and go upstairs, but instead he sits down next to me with sugary fried dough in his fingers. I try to focus on the TV.
"No work today?" He scrapes desperately for conversation.
"Nope. You?"
"No."
More silence.
The lady on the screen drops her entire pan of cupcakes, looking upset and frustrated. I feel that.
"Is everything ok?" He asks, quietly.
I bite down on my lip and stare at the screen again. However, he turns the TV off. I stand up off the couch and start to leave until he grabs my wrist gently.
"Wait. I'm sorry. Please stay," He squeezes softly.
I inhale and turn around to face him, "Why?"
His gaze turns confused and questioning, "What do you mean?"
"Why are you still trying?" I huff out.
His gaze softens into sadness. His neutral expression tips down into a frown. I almost expect him to cry.
He swallows, "Because I have to. If I don't I will hate myself for it."
I shake my head, "I'm sorry but we can't do this. Can't you see? Everything is going so well?"
"We can just... please-"
"It's over, Hunter."
He holds onto me still and doesn't look away. Finally, he lets me go and drops his hand down to his side. The doughnut in his other hand no longer very appetizing for either of us. I turn and run upstairs.
Take the hint, you stupid beautiful boy.
• • •
The longer that time goes on, the more the aching pain fades. My birthday creeps up faster than I thought. It is a week away and I am laying in Andréa's bed. He is fucking around on his PlayStation.
"How is your Uncle?" I ask out of the blue.
Ever since Andréa and I have become friends, I have noticed something is wrong. His Uncle is never home and when he is I am not allowed over. I have no reason to get in Andréa's
business, but it is hard not to. His fridge is filled with nothing but alcohol and the trailer is always empty.
"He is fine. Same old shit as usual. He drinks, yells, then goes back to bed, why?" He glances at me worriedly.
"I don't know."
"Everything is fine. How is life at home?" He dies and sets his controller down.
"Great. Jessie is still painting the living room and Luke is still begging for a dog," I stare up at the ceiling, the smell of weed wafting up around me.
"Is something bothering you?" He asks suddenly.
"No."
Yes.
"Well MJ has been blowing up the group chat trying to get us all to hangout before your birthday. I think it would be fun. Besides, hanging out with me all the time is not doing wonders."
I frown and throw a pillow at him, "I happen to like hanging out with you."
"You know what I mean," He laughs, "We are worried about you. All of us. Naomi even messaged me on Instagram, asking if you are in working order."
I just FaceTimed them yesterday. They are all coming over for my birthday party, including Andréa, Nathan, and MJ.
"I don't know if I like you talking to my sister," I squint at him.
"It isn't like that," His cheeks flush slightly, "We are friends."
I roll my eyes and make a noise in the back of my throat. I can't seem to get away from relationships. Collin and Harmony, Andréa and Naomi, Eli and Riley. Everyone is dating or liking someone while I'm single.
"Hunter talked to me yesterday," Andréa says into the silence.
I almost choke on the air as I sit up and look at him. Hunter and Andréa hate each other. Why?
I look at him with wide eyes, "What about?"
"You. He... He is worried about you, J."
I shake my head and throw myself back onto the bed with a groan.
"Of course be is. Everyone is always talking about me. I'm fine!" I pull a pillow over my face.
I hear him standing up, but I ignore it. He pulls the pillow off of my face and stares down at me.
"I know you're fine. C'mon, you have to be home in an hour. Let's go get something to eat," He tugs on his boots.
I sigh and roll off the bed. Why is it that no matter what I do, I can't win. At least nothing bad has happened. Sooner or later I'm sure it will.
I end up eating ice cream in the passenger seat of Andréa's car, talking about school. Before I know it, I am inside the house. Jessie is sitting at the kitchen table typing with Luke right beside her.
"If I had a dog then I could play with it instead of bothering Eli all the time," His head is resting on top of his hands.
"Yeah but if you had a dog then it would also need food and toys," She stops when she sees me and gives me a smile.
That is also something new.
Ever since I was younger cheating has been nothing but bad. You never cheat on your significant other. Cheating felt like the worst thing you could do.
However, with Jessie it is difficult to decide what's right and wrong. Sure cheating is horrible but people make mistakes. It isn't something to excuse. That's not what I'm saying, but it can be learned from. From what I see it has been.
Assuming Collin isn't just a mistake in her eyes.
"Jaime!" Luke exclaims and runs to me from the table, almost knocking over the chair and a nearby stack of papers.
I laugh while he hugs my waist smiling at me. I notice that recently Luke has stopped being so nervous around me. His ticks seem to be average when he is around me, not amplified by anxiety.
"Hey, Luke. What's up?" I ruffle his adorable head of curls then look at Jessie, who is smiling.
"Nothing. I'm getting a dog," Luke crosses his arms and smiles confidently.
Jessie just rolls her eyes and shakes her head.
"Where is everyone?" I set my bag down on a nearby chair.
Jessie shuts her MacBook and takes off her glasses to massage the bridge of her nose. Sometimes I wonder if I should be afraid. On days like today, her face looks like it is struggling to stay attached.
"Collin is with Harmony... Hunter is at practice, Remy is working late, and Eli is being tutored," She sits up and looks at me.
"So it's just us for now?"
"Yeah. After a while Luke and I are going to a reading night at his school. Its a lock in so we will be there over night. It will just be you boys, since Eli is probably staying with her friend."
I smile and grab a bottle of water out of the fridge, "Ok. That's fine."
Luke starts right back up with his begging so I end up leaving pretty soon. That kid refuses to be told no. It is cute, but eventually you just concede. I blame it on his cute dimples and small being. It is hard to even keep a straight face around him.
I open the door to my room and throw myself down on the bed. What on Earth am I going to do? I did all my work today in class and Andréa is now working. It is too early to just go to bed.
I sigh until my eyes land on my laptop. I roll over and open it to start up Netflix. It is going to be one of those times.
• • •
I am woken up from the sound of voices downstairs and Remy asking if anyone's home. Collin answers, somehow muddling his voice through my sleepy state. I squint at my laptop, which died, then try to sit up and wake up fully.
However, I am wrapped up in the arms of someone I have yet to identify. How come I didn't notice that before? I fight sleep as I slowly roll around to face my captor. Of course it is Hunter, his blonde hair disheveled. His lips are shut in a pout, it is as if he is concentrating.
I sigh deeply and frown. This stubborn boy can't seem to take a hint. I shut my eyes unconsciously and snuggle into his neck. Just a little more time.
The smell of familiarity and wood engulfs me, sending me to cloud nine. He is still dressed in his work hoodie, it's bottom piece rises up his stomach. Most of all I notice his warmth.
Just a little bit longer.