"How is it possible that you can heal wounds from an archangel blade, but you can't levitate a pencil?" Lucifer asks, exasperated.
"I've done it before," Jack says. "I don't know why it's not working now."
"Well, make it work, dammit."
Gabriel groans. "Will you just shut up and let Jack do his thing?"
"I would, but it seems Jack can't do his thing," Lucifer snaps.
Jack pulls his legs up on the chair and crosses them, like a child at storytime. But a child would be eager, excited to hear what they have to say. Jack, on the other hand, has his face buried in his hands, fighting back tears. The angels have been bickering nonstop for at least half an hour, fighting over him as if he weren't sitting right in front of him, and though Gabriel isn't being mean, exactly, neither of them are being very nice.
"He can do it," Gabriel says. "Eventually. Just give him time."
"And get stuck here longer than necessary?" Lucifer scoffs. "Not a chance in hell."
"You already asked for Hell," Gabriel reminds him. "I thought we already agreed that's not gonna happen. Dad's sick of you being a dramatic asshole."
Lucifer's eyes flare red at that.
"Ooh, scary," Gabriel deadpans.
Jack clamps his hands over his ears, his head still ducked and his eyes squeezed shut. He thought it was bad when his universe's Dean wouldn't stop yelling at him, but he'd take the guy threatening to kill him over listening to these two argue over him any day. He just wants to leave. He doesn't care where he goes, as long as it's not here.
"Do something useful and get the kid to do something, will you?" Lucifer asks, exasperated.
"He's your son," Gabriel reminds him. "Why don't you — oh, that's right, he doesn't really like you, does he? Wow, you were just born to have dysfunctional relationships, huh?"
With the flick of his hand, Lucifer throws Gabriel through the garage's door to the bunker and into the wall of the hallway. Gabriel groans on impact, but as he pushes himself to his feet, he just laughs.
"I love when you do that, because it basically just means that I won," Gabriel says. "Which happens, like, 95 percent of the time, so I'm pretty used to —"
And suddenly, Jack disappears.
"Wait, what the —" Gabriel slowly walks back into the garage. "Where...?"
"Wow, nice going," Lucifer says sarcastically. "You scared the kid away."
"I scared the kid away?" Gabriel scoffs. "You were the one bitching at him because he couldn't do whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted."
"You make it sound like I asked him to whip me up a batch of cookies," Lucifer says. "He said he could get us out of here, and I want to get out of here."
"He said he might be able to, dumbass," Gabriel snaps. "And he made it very clear that he had no idea what the hell he's doing." He pauses, taking a breather before admitting, much calmer this time, "But he's the best shot we've got. We should probably go find him."
"I'll take bottom floor, you take top?" Lucifer suggests.
"Meet back here in ten?"
Lucifer raises an eyebrow. "What world are you living in where it takes more than thirty seconds to check the whole bunker?"
"What world are you living in where you think Jack is gonna see you and immediately decide to come back right after you just annoyed him into teleporting away?" Gabriel counters.
"I'll grab him and drag him back if I have to," Lucifer says.
"And you wonder why Jack doesn't like you."
"Oh, shut up," Lucifer snaps.
"See you in a few, hopefully with Jack," Gabriel says. "Oh, and Lucifer?"
Lucifer sighs dramatically. "What?"
"If you find the kid, nice to him, will you? He's alone, confused and stressed out, and you're really, really not helping."