A/N: I know it's been months since I've updated this....
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Silence can sometimes be a relaxing thing but at times it can cut sharper than a knife, intensified by a wall crushing awkwardness. I am experiencing a perplexing mixture of both as I sit directly across from Adrian Belle. His presence is an odd combination. He felt like a rising winter sun, touching the frost covered world, awakening it from its stiff slumber. There was a gentleness to him but under it, that warm soft smile hid the intense fire that would burn with a razor point, searing even a tundra’s darkest ice.
I was weary and he knew it.
“Are you feeling better, my Lord?” his question was light as his hand raised a tea cup to his lips. “You had certainly startled many of us.” But it was his eyes that gave him away. Those teal fire eyes watching my every action, every sound, trying to gauge everything I say, I felt like the rabbit before the snake this time.
“I…have to apologise about that night.” Severely apologise.
“Apologise?” his brow furrowed as if he were confused by my statement.
“I…not only was my behaviour appalling, I also dirtied your dress coat.”
“Oh. That. There was never a need to apologise. Not unless you purposely aimed at my coat.”
My back straightened, I could feel a blush skimming my cheeks, “Never!”
A low rumble came from his chest, his chuckle was almost predatory and playful, “Then your apology is surely misguided.”
The silence came again as he took a sip from his tea. My eyes drifted quickly to out the window of the same reception room that had Mrs Thompson in not a few days ago. I had to distract myself otherwise I would catch myself staring up at Mr Belle and I’m quite sure he did not want any of that. A pubescent boy staring at a man like a star-struck kitten at a tiger. I held in a sigh, no wonder there were unquiet rumours about. But I still hold onto the firm belief that it was pure admiration.
Hearing the soft tink of china being placed back onto the table made me look back at Mr Belle as he said, “You seem uncomfortable, my Lord.”
“Charlie. Mr Belle,” I try my best to smile.
“Excuse me?”
“‘Lord’ is an empty title I’m afraid and it rings rather hollow. I prefer being called Charlie by those I consider my friends.”
His smile was far more genuine, “As you wish, Charlie. I am rather honoured that you consider me a friend.” His eyes flashed up into mine, transfixing me. “I am sincerely relieved that you are doing better.”
“Ah…” I lose the will to look into his eyes, instead they wondered down to my hands, “I am used to it.”
“I find it rather sad that one such as yourself finds it a norm.”
“Such as myself?”
“Young. Bright. Your mind is far beyond your age I will admit but your experiences are lacking and no amount of knowledge can truly reimburse what is witnessed and felt by oneself. You have seen so little of the world.”
A sad smile touched my lips, “I’m afraid the last time I attempted to catch a glimmer of the world it cost me something dear.”
“Ah. I am sorry for your loss and I know the feeling.”
That caught me by surprise, “You have lost someone?”
“Many, I’m afraid.”
“Oh. I’m sorry…do you mind if I ask …?”
His chuckled, “Not really. You are very inquisitive. I’ve lost a number of my siblings and lovers over the course of my life. Some because of seen and many from unseen circumstances. No one can truly predict what will happen in the span of a mortal’s life, not even the gods I’m afraid.”
“No, perhaps not.”
“You would be the first to agree with me.”
“Oh?”
“Many would say that their God is omniscient, that nothing goes without his notice.”
Absent-mindedly I said, “Is he?”
He met me with silence before asking, “Are you a devout Christian, Charlie?”
“That is an odd question.”
He slightly raised an eyebrow but withheld a response.
So I gave him mine, “There are many things on this earth that cannot be explained by science no matter how hard we try to understand their mechanics. I suppose that what miracles are in a way, magic. Why would I deny an existence such as a God’s? But neither can I confirm nor deny the possibility that others exists. There are hundreds or hundreds of thousands of gods that came before Christianity. Why claim one and deny the other?”
“You would get into trouble with your thinking, young man.”
“Then I’m glad that I normally keep it to myself. Many do not speak with me simply because of my mind, Mr Belle.”
“So I’ve been told. And please, if I am to call you Charlie, then you must call me Adrian.”
I felt a little grateful as I took a sip from my own cup of tea.
After what seemed like a moment more but was hours of mindless banter, Mr Belle broke away with what looked like a little regret, “I’m afraid that I must leave you, Charlie. My attention is needed elsewhere.” With that he rose and I with him.
“Let me see you out,” I walk toward the door and opened it for him.
“My, my, it’s not every day that royalty opens the door for the common folk,” I could hear his amusement beside me.
“I have long ceased being royalty, Mr Belle.” I then added with a crooked smile, “And you are hardly common.”
His chuckle was something that could memorize me as he came closer, my heart was threatening to give out. “I could say the same.” He stopped in front of me, towering over as I felt like I was quaking far below. I held onto the door-handle with an intensity to hide my hand’s incessant shaking.
As he reached out, I found myself startled but frozen as his gloved hand glides over my cheek until he was cupping the side of my face. He was staring down at me but his eyes were looking at something far more distant than this mortal plane, his voice wondering with a certain emptiness, “Why do they continue to haunt you like maddened plague, Charlie?”
“My pardon?” I blink, confusion seemed to be more the plague these days. But I do not think he heard me.
“They try and try to snuff out that flickering candle. Consume it until the fire becomes tainted and hollow. Dark and twisted like blackened ash. What is it that they are so desperate to ensnare within you? I am almost tempted to let them have you. To see what it is that they desire. To see your light truly corrupted. However…”
I suddenly felt the familiar smoke rising through my lungs like putrid tar coursing up my throat with a vehement acid forcing its way out. A coughing fit began as I clawed for breath but he held my still. His other hand had shot out, grasping my opposing arm pulling me towards him. As the smoke gorged my mouth, his lips caught mine.
Through the haze of pain, I realised that his lips were soft and warm but firm and harsh as they forced mine to open further to let him gain access. As he did, the smoke exchanged from me like a pull and I almost passed out from the force and the staggering agony that was beyond the realms of sanity to the point it was numbing. As the last of it left me, his softness returned as he slightly pulled back. His eyes intensely watching my face.
“…I’m finding you increasingly endearing,” he finished while I gasp, about to crumble to the floor, with him catching me at the last second. “Whoops. I seemed to be knocking you off your feet every chance we get to talk,” he laughed at his own joke before pecking at my forehead. “You should rest. Go back to sleep.”
As if it were a command, my eyelids leaden and the darkness took me yet again.
I woke slowly, to find myself in my familiar chair, resting my head against the headrest and the thick throw-rug over me as if I was in the midst of a mid-afternoon snooze. A buzzing sensation was flitting about my head as I move to rub it away I realise that it was late in the afternoon and that I was the only one within the room’s confines.
A crackle took my attention to the fireplace where a fire had been lit since my trepid dreams had consumed me. He had done it again. Whatever magic Mr Belle had spun. He had done it again and left just like before.
Over the coming weeks, I found myself becoming more and more energetic once again and the time of the opera was nothing more than a troubling distant memory. Just as Adrian had become. Once again he was always at a distance that I could never diminish. But other thoughts were on my mind. Paul’s reappearance and the peculiar two men soon appearing after with threats. The realisation that there were things others than us as a species led me to an endeavour to understand that side of the world more. Ghouls. Ghosts. Witchcraft. Lycanthropy. Vampirism. Fae. Everything that seemed fairy-tale now seem more and more a reality than we let ourselves be aware. And that troubled and fascinated me as I delve into the archives across the Universities that were more than willing to open their libraries to me in hopes to recruit me to their colours.
Prince Frederick had come during the autumn for the celebration of Princess Victoria’s birthday. I was then soon sent an expressed notice from the prince asking for my presence one afternoon and was waiting for me downstairs. From reports, I heard he was a man of resource and intrigue. A fine match for the princess that the Queen and her husband had planned.
Coming into the reception room, I notice him observing the shelves of books, almost in a trance. I bow towards him, interrupting his wonderings, “Your highness. It is a pleasure to meet you.”
The prince slightly jolts before turning to see me, “Ah, you are every bit that Vicky has described to me. It is more the pleasure to meet my potential rival in marriage.”
I blink before realising what he had said. What has that girl been writing to him? “Your highness, please disregard any of that. I am not-”
He chuckles, making his way over to me. “Please don’t be anxious. I am simply here to meet the boy who Vicky talks about so frequently.” The German prince’s kind brown eyes fell on me that I took an almost immediate endearment to. “For her to be so fixated on you I was, for a better word, ‘interested’.”
“I…am surprised that I come up as such a topic between you to.” The letters that frequently pass between them, I could never assume to have any import enough to warrant any attention in their discussions. Apparently I was wrong and now feel rather uncomfortable.
“May you accompany me for a walk for a while?”
I nod, “Please, peruse to your heart’ content.”
I step in time after him, realising that he was making his way to the gardens outside. After coming outside, I see that it is overcast but no sign that it will rain for a while at least. That was also when I notice the two familiar shadows quietly as my heels. As of late, they seem to be more on edge than normal, especially when I wonder to the universities and colleges.
“I would like to tell you personally that we are to be engaged.” He snaps me out of my thoughts as we walk along the garden path at a leisurely pace.
“I offer my congratulations,” I reply simply. I had suspected this for a while.
“You are not at all surprised,” he sounded a little disappointed, which startles me.
“Your highness?”
He shakes his head, “Don’t mind me.”
“It had already been pre-desired, your highness. I may be blunt in saying that this has been put in motion since the Great Exhibition. My surprise is not warranted.”
Frederick looks at me curiously, “You’re an interesting one, Viscount.”
“I am glad you think so.”
After a moment of silence he opens his mouth with another question, “May I ask something of you?”
I nod, waiting.
“Can I ask as to why you will not marry?”
This question is as much a plague as any it seems, “I have no desire to continue my line. There are many complications involved with my heritage as you can imagine. There is little power to my name and there are still open wounds. There is no need and I am content to be as I am.”
He peers at me keenly but says nothing in response to my reasoning other than, “I see…”
“But I am happy for both of you. It is not always an honest promise of happiness when marriages are arranged.”
“My father could attest to that,” his muses darkly.
“But I believe that you and the princess are more than a fine match and I mean that, truly.”
“I thank you for those words. Vicky has told me that you do not say anything unless you mean it.”
I bow my head slightly.
“You have an interest in history, I am told.” He suddenly changes topics.
“I touch on it.”
And from there he starts conversing about things that did not breach any topic of me personally or of his engagement to the princess. After settling on trying to converse with me in French, he was summoned back to the Queen’s and Princess Victoria’s presence once again. With his final farewell, I find myself letting out an exhausted breath.
“So ...he came to measure up the competition,” Eric grins at me while I sit back in the reception room, waiting for the summons for dinner.
“What competition?” I mutter. “He has higher standing than I ever would and the Queen and Price Consort highly approve of him.”
“You are also highly approved,” Erwin makes his way over to close the window and I move my hand to stop him. I have a certain intolerance for spaces that are fully closed in. Even this late in autumn.
“As a friend. Yes. But amalgamating me into their line? The idea is preposterous, even to my ears. No this is better and that is the end of it. There is something even more arrestive to me for now.”
The twins share a silent frown between them, probably picking up on my meaning towards my studies.
“If that’s what you want, my Lord,” Erwin says weakly.
I look up at him, “Is there something on your mind?” It is rare that the two of them are not as forthcoming in their complaints lately. I am beginning to worry.
He shakes his head, “Not at all. I’m just worried that this may turn into an obsession.”
“I’m simply sating a curiosity.”
“Is that all?” Eric eyes me.
“Yes. Should there be anything else?”
He sighs, shaking his head, “Forget we said anything.”