-Starling City -Earlier this year-
I was closing for the first time at my new job in Starling City. Oliver had offered me a position at his company in the physics department, but I honestly just wanted to run away from my profession after what happened the previous year with the explosion. Oliver was a new friend at the time, I had met him through Felicity shortly after arriving in the city.
Per usual, I was met by someone on the open top roof where the bar is. This time, it wasn't a scare. I can recall her wavy black hair blowing gently behind her as she sat on the edge of the building. "Nyssa?"
I slowly walked to her, unsure if I could believe who I was seeing. Upon closer inspection, I confirmed it was Nyssa.
"What are you doing here?" My voice was curious. I took a seat beside my old friend. "Sometimes... you have to come back to the place it all makes sense when nothing else does."
Her words didn't give me any context, but I could understand what she was trying to say. "So.. Starling City?" I asked. I knew Nyssa wouldn't tell me what was going on to make her come back, but maybe she would tell me why she picked Starling?
Her answer was simple, "They say home is where the heart is."
I nodded slowly, being sure to keep my tone of voice soft and comforting, "Sara..."
She only nodded in response.
"Listen... Nyssa, if there is anything at all I can do to help-" I began. Without hesitation, Nyssa grabbed a bag from her left, "I was hoping you would say that- here."
I opened the bag that was given to me, not being surprised to see it contained my old face guard as well as the full red and black hooded suit that belonged to me when I was in the League of Assassins. "Nyssa... your father released me from the League. Going back would make it impossible to be released again."
I hoped she would understand how close to impossible it was that her father allowed me to leave the pact. "You wanted to do something to change the world, Y/N... so you went to Central City where everything is just... perfect. Yes?"
My lack of response and peaked interest allowed Nyssa to continue, "It didn't work out. Now, you have run away to this city; I can tell you are not happy here."
Nyssa looked beside her to meet my eyes , "You cannot deny that you loved being with us- being in the League... it is only a matter of time before you run back to where your heart truly belongs."
-End of Flashback-
-
Me and Barry had been taking... well, we've been leaving a bit of space between the two of us lately after I failed to say I loved him when he said it to me the night we finally had sex. The truth was, I still wasn't sure if I was capable of loving someone, or being loved.
'I know it sounds stupid, but what if the reason I can't give myself to Barry is because I never got closure from Oliver? Everything happened so fast and, let's face it... I don't have expertise in this particular field.... All I know is what my family has taught me.'
'Which is exactly why I am sitting on the rooftop of that very same bar I worked at in Starling City... The place I have always belonged,' I supposed.
Hours passed and my eyes were still trained on the bustling night life of Starling. I would be lying if I said I didn't miss it there sometimes.
"Y/N?" The electronic voice said from behind me. I didn't turn around instantly, it was only when I convinced myself that the voice wasn't part of my imagination.
"Oliver..."
It was weird seeing him standing on that roof with his Arrow suit fully equipped. It was like meeting a celebrity for the first time and having to remind yourself that they are real.
He pressed his voice changing device off, keeping his distance from me. "What are you doing here so late?" He asked, peeling back his hood so I could see him better. "I..."
I wasn't prepared to answer the one question I knew he'd ask if he ran into me in the city. I slowly stood up from the ledge I was relaxing on when I was spectating the city. "I heard about your mother... I am so sorry..." I quietly said. Oli looked down painfully. "How have you been dealing with everything?" I continued.
Oliver didn't seem like he wanted to talk. Instead, he walked over and took my in his arms for a tight hug. After slight hesitation, I wrapped my arms around him, too.
Everything felt like home for a moment- having Oliver in my arms again. I closed my eyes tight and let his cologne fill my senses.
'Why did I ever leave?'
"You can't be here. Go back to Central City and do not return, do you understand me?" Oliver demanded, breaking away the hug.
'Oh, right. That's why.'
I sighed, "I was just checking on you, Oliver... Someone has to."
"Well, not you... Now go back to Barry." He demanded, putting his hood back on.
I could almost see the walls flying up between Oliver and his emotions. If I didn't know any better, I would have sworn his voice had a tinge of hurt behind his words.
"Back to Barry?" I questioned. How did he find out about me and him? "Felicity told me... I can't lie to you, Y/N, it's hard seeing you with him."
'What? Why even say that to me right now? Is this some game?'
Oliver must have taken in the negative reaction on my face, "I just... It's been a long time since I've seen you and I want you to be happy."
There was an awkward pause and I was rendered speechless.
'Oh, Oliver.... why couldn't you have said this to me before I left?'
I kept my thoughts private and prayed that they weren't displayed on my face.
"Oliver... What you did to me wasn't fair."
Woah, where did that come from?
'Might as well let it all out now,' I mentally shrugged.
Before I spoke again, he had already connected the dots. "I know... And I'm so sorry. It... wasn't a mistake. I thought that I could be me and The Arrow, but I can't. Not then, not now, maybe not ever."
I felt a glimpse of rage light a fire in me, so I stepped closer to him so I could see his eyes under his hood. "Then say never! Stop dangling maybe's.... Say it's never going to work out between us. Say you never loved me. Say...-"
"Y/N!" Oliver defensively stepped even closer, "Don't you ever ask me to say that I don't love you..."
We are both left staring at one another from a breath away. His words came over me like a wave of feelings that I had been oppressing for him. I knew he wasn't going to try kissing me- he would never do that to Barry, but I was starting to question my own morals.
'Why haven't I been able to move on? I came back here to get closure... Now it's just making everything worse.'
My phone starts vibrating in my back pocket.
'What if I never get over him?'
I fished my phone out of my back pocket before I answered with a "Hello?"
"Come back to the lab NOW." Cisco said immediately. "Cisco? What is happening?"
"It's Barry, he's hurt- BAD." He said; it sent my heart plummeting down to my stomach. "I'm on my way."
I clicked the phone to end, then looked up at Oliver with the fear of God in my eyes.
"What's wrong?" He asked, grabbing my arms to keep me from completely freaking out. "It's Barry..." My look fortunately said everything so I didn't have to; Oliver slid his hand off my arms and grabbed one of my hands after he muttered something to Diggle in his earpiece. He pulled me quickly to the edge of the building, "The train is slow. I can take you there faster."
Oli grappled to a neighboring building where there was a helicopter parked elegantly on a helipad. "I'll take you back to S.T.A.R. Labs."
The helicopter ride seemed as long as a day's worth of work, although I knew it was less than an hour to get there. If I wasn't so worried, I would have had much more to say to Oliver during the ride.
When we landed at the lab, I rushed out and into the infirmary room where Cisco, Joe, Wells, and Caitlin were all surrounding Barry. "What happened?" I gasped, seeing Barry unconscious on the bed.
"His name is Captain Cold... He has an extremely dangerous gun that freezes anything it touches to absolute zero." Wells explained.
I shook my head with a whispering voice, "That.... that isn't possible."
"And how possible is Barry?" Joe asked, rubbing his hands over his face from anxiety. "He's going to be okay, Smoak. We were able to remove the impacted object thanks to the suit's design." Wells assured.
"It was a close call..." Cisco sighed. Caitlin nodded, "Too close."
"For now, all we can do is let time do its job." Wells announced before leaving the room. Everyone followed, except for me.
"I guess I showed up a little late for the panic." I told Barry, even though he wasn't exactly awake. "Must be a Smoak thing... talking to myself."
"You know, for a moment... I really thought I could have lost you. Super speed, super fast healing- Sometimes it's hard to believe that you aren't invincible."
I sat on the edge of his bed and examined the cold burns on his suit and skin. "I couldn't admit it to myself before... Let alone admit it to you." I paused, then chuckled. "Even now, it's hard to tell you... I love you, Barry Allen. I'm sorry it took you almost getting killed for me to admit it, but I do."
"I love you, too." Croaked a drained voice. To my astonishment, Barry's eyes fluttered open to see me. "Barry!" I exclaimed, taking his face in my hands. He winced, "Gentle. I'm a little fragile right now."
I pressed my lips against his gently, but for a longer duration than just a quick kiss. "I don't know what I would have done if something happened to you... I'll go tell the others you are awake."
I stood up then turned around to see Arrow standing at a distance.
I didn't owe anything to him, but something told me that seeing me kiss Barry upset him. Wait! Did he hear me tell Barry that I loved him?
I walked out of the room towards Oliver, but he quickly left down the hall and disappeared from there.