73. dried out
QUINN
SHE WAS ACHING ALL OVER, her body hurting with every step she took. Her throat was dry, her stomach empty and her never ending thirst didn't make it any better.
They were walking down the road. Yesterday the car broke down and left them with no other choice than to walk the remaining 60 miles to Washington. Though, at this pace, it would take a long, long while to get there.
With the sun beating down on them and no food in their stomachs, the journey had turned into an agonising long walk. It had started out okay, with Beth singing some tunes to keep the mood up and Maggie sometimes joining her but both girls had fallen silent because after a while you had to save all the energy you had to keep putting one feet in front of the other.
Quinn threw a glare over her shoulder, unable to help herself, her eyes searching for Daryl. He was walking right behind her, like always. He'd barely spoken a word to her since their little cuddle and swimming session now more than a week ago. Somewhere, deep down, she felt satisfied in the knowledge that she made him just as uncomfortable as he made her.
'You know,' Beth spoke up from next to her, making Quinn turn her head to look forwards again to look at the teenager. 'I'm glad to be out of that hospital but I do miss one thing.'
Quinn raised her eyebrows at her, watching Beth as a teasing smile appeared on her features.
'A toilet,' she said, smiling brightly.
Maggie let out a small chuckle and even Quinn felt the corners of her mouth turning up into a smile.
'I miss showers,' Maggie sighed wistfully.
The mere thought of having running water to wash off all the filth and sweat from her body made her sigh longingly. Her little dive in the river felt like ages ago and with the horrible heat from the passed few days it was more than likely that all the rivers were well on their way of being completely dried out. Thinking like that, however, were exactly the things that got her mood down and made her want to stop. And so she decided to join their wishful thinking. If they were going down this road she could name a thousand things she missed but what came up in her mind first...
'I miss tampons,' she said, a small smirk appearing on her face. Because it was true. It was a pain having to put dried leaves in your panties to at least try to keep them a little bit clean. Not that she had to worry about that lately. With their limited food source and no water available her periods had been screwed up.
Both Beth and Maggie giggled at that but then turned silent, lost in thought. How amazing would it be to have those things again. To not have to worry about a walker sneaking up on you while you were peeing, to be able to shower the blood and grime off your body.
Sadly it was only wishful thinking.
Speaking of walkers, there was an ever gathering crowd behind them. But their group was simply too tired and energy deprived to deal with them. It probably wouldn't end well if they decided to take them all on now. Though, Quinn couldn't deny that their never ending groans and dragging footsteps were slowly getting on her nerves. She couldn't summon a single bit of energy to even think about dealing with hem and yet having them just walk behind them was becoming less of an option with each passing second.
She slowed her pace so she came walking right next to Daryl. Ignoring the way his shoulders tensed she took a deep breath and decided to voice her worries. 'Do you think we'll make it?' Her voice was barely more than a whisper, afraid the others would hear it. The thought had been on her mind for days now and even though he probably couldn't answer in any way that would satisfy her, she still had to ask.
Daryl didn't look back at her but she knew he heard her. She patiently waited for an answer, knowing pushing it with him was never a good idea. 'We gotta,' he replied, accent so heavy that it took her a second to process what exactly it was he said.
It was a simple answer and yet it made hope flare up inside of her again. Their circumstances seemed hopeless and it was likely they wouldn't last a week if things didn't change, fast. But they wouldn't give up, it wasn't in them to do so. They had to make it. Surviving was what they did, even in the most impossible circumstances.
'How's the arm?' Daryl questioned, his eyes going to her elbow.
'It's fine,' Quinn replied. She barely felt the pain anymore but had made sure to keep it clean anyway. The cut wasn't that bad, it was just in a very annoying spot. Everytime she moved her arm it opened again. Right now she had Milo's sleeve bound around it like a bandage. He'd ripped them off when the heat started to become well and truly unbearable. Speaking about her brother...She threw a glare over her shoulder only to find him walking next to Glenn. They were talking softly to each other, looking at the huge ginger walking before them. Quinn knew they were worried about their friend. Losing D.C had taken something from the soldier that only the bottle of booze he carried seemed to be able to fill. She sighed deeply, turning to look forwards again.
Abraham wasn't the only one who looked like they were running on their last bit of fuel. Sasha too looked like she could collapse at any given second. It wasn't strange having lost her boyfriend and then her brother so shortly after. The two of them seemed like ticking bombs walking around in their midst. Rosita seemed to have taken the news of Eugene's lie a bit better than Abraham, or maybe she was just better at pretending. Either way there were a lot of broken souls walking around. And with the circumstances being as they were, Quinn couldn't blame anyone for feeling like giving up.
'I'm gonna head out,' Daryl suddenly spoke, breaking her train of thought. 'See what I can find.'
Rick turned around to look at him. He was carrying Judith on his arm. Out of all of them she seemed to be doing the best, luckily. 'Don't be too long.'
Daryl nodded and turned to head off into the woods.
'I'll go with you,' Carol offered before Quinn could.
'Hey, I got it,' he replied.
'You gonna stop me?' Carol smiled as she followed him into the woods.
Quinn watched them go with a small smile on her face before turning her attention back to the road before her. Washington seemed like a fairytale. A magical land they could never reach. She wished they had the means to make it easier but it seemed like their luck had finally run out. It seemed like they been running on their last bit of luck ever since the prison fell and maybe they used it all when they were reunited again. Now it was all gone. And all they could do was try to survive and make their own luck. So far they weren't doing a very good job at it.
'You with me?' Michonne questioned.
She blinked, pulling herself out of her raging thoughts. 'Mmm?'
'I asked you if you were sitting this one out?' Her friend repeated.
'I can only take following a grunting redneck around the woods for so long,' Quinn replied, smiling through her misery.
Michonne mirrored her smile before falling silent again. All their energy was saved for walking, putting one foot in front of the other in hopes of getting somewhere before mother nature decided it was time to take their lives. The sun was shining down from a bright and clear blue sky. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. Never before had she so desperately wished for rain. A drop of water, anything.
She closed her eyes and imagined she was back in the water, floating on her back through the river. Letting her body be carried away by the flow of the stream, somewhere far away where there was shelter, food, water...Thinking about it, however, made it only worse and so she pulled herself out the daydream, opening her eyes again and taking in the scene around her. Their group, walking in silence, drenched in sweat under a merciless sun.
A small frown appeared on her face when she noticed the moans of the walkers, a lot louder now than they were before. She threw a glare over her shoulder and took a sharp breath. The herd following them was growing at a steady pace. The option of taking them on however was completely out of the question. They simply didn't have the strength to fight them off and getting wounded now was a death sentence.
Quinn wasn't the only one who'd noticed the ever growing threat behind them. Sasha, too, was throwing worried glares over her shoulder. 'We can take 'em,' she finally said, making Michonne turn around to look as well.
'Rick's right,' the samurai sighed. 'We barely have anything left. No use in spending it all now.'
It seemed like her words were useless, not even reaching the other woman, who was still looking over her shoulder. 'I can take 'em.'
'You brother was pissed too after what he lost,' Michonne said, her voice soft but her eyes stern. 'It made him stupid.'
'We are not the same,' Sasha mumbled sharply. 'We never were.'
'Then show us,' Quinn simply said, staring at the broken woman before her.
Sasha stared at her for another second before turning away and continuing her path after the others. Quinn took a deep breath watching her go, worry settling in her stomach and she could tell by the small frown on Michonne's face that she too was concerned for the woman's wellbeing but there was nothing they could do to help. This was something she had to figure out all on her own.
Slowly the two friends got moving as well and fell back in line with the others. They didn't need words to know what the other was thinking. The situation was getting desperate, their people were getting desperate. One wrong move and it would be the end. They had to make sure no one did something crazy and so Quinn made a mental note to keep her eye on Sasha. For her safety as well for the others.
It was late in the afternoon when Rick finally called for them to stop. They had reached a bridge and he seemed to have formed some sort of plan using it to get rid of the walkers behind them. It was pretty simple and yet it had her worried sick. She didn't trust the group to handle it, not while they were this weak. They would form two rows on the side of the road and throw the walkers down to the dry river below. She stood on the right side of the pavement with Sasha, Maggie and Abraham. Glenn, Milo, Michonne and Rick were on the other side while Carl, Judith, Eugene, Gabriel, Noah and Beth were standing a safe distance away with Rosita and Tara acting as their guards.
She took a deep breath as she watched the walkers stumble closer. Their stench made her nose itch and for the first time she was happy there was no food in her stomach, for she might've tossed it all over the road. The heat had not just taken its toll on them but on the walkers too. They had been decayed before but it wasn't even close to what they looked like now. Their skin was a sickening color of yellow. If they had skin that was. Some of them seemed to have melted in the sunlight and instead of their flesh, bones and insides were visible. But all of that she could've taken if it wasn't for the horrible, stomach wrenching odor that made her choke.
The walkers reached them and Rick was the first one to reach out and throw one down. It slid across the floor and disappeared into the ravine below. Then they were suddenly all there and she could no longer see her friends. All her attention was for the walkers that were coming right at her. The first one to reach had been a female once, wearing a pink shirt and a skirt with flowers that was now torn and filthy. Quinn wasted no time and pushed the corpse against the chest, sending her down to the ground, falling down into the distance below. A snarl near her ear made her turn to look back forwards. A groan of effort escaped her lips as she pushed the second walker over the edge.
Her limbs were burning from the effort it took to struggle against the strong grip of the corpses with the little amount of energy she had. In normal circumstances a group this size would've been no problem at all. All those walkers would be dead within five minutes. But now, it was almost too much for them to handle.
Suddenly her attention drifted to Sasha who'd walked away from her position by the side of the right and headed straight towards a walker. She grabbed it by its shirt, staring at it as though she was trying to kill it with nothing but her force of will.
'Sasha,' Michonne hissed.
But the woman ignored her, reached for her knife and drove it through the corpse its eye socket. It took every bit of strength Quinn had left to not groan in frustration. Now they had no other choice but to fight. She reached for her daggers and pulled two free, one in each hand.
'Stay in line,' Rick ordered. 'Flank her, keep it controlled.'
'Plan just got dicked,' Abraham noted, though he did not seem sad at the prospect of plunging his knife into some walkers.
Quinn walked forwards, raising her arm and driving her dagger through the skull of an approaching walker. She groaned when she pulled it out, ignoring her protesting muscles as she reached out again, killing another corpse.
Sasha was growling like an animal attacking its prey, her features drawn into an angry snarl that would've send any sane person running. Clearly anger and violence was the only way she was able to deal with her grief and this fight was something she'd been waiting for. The need to kill seemed to consume her and she seemed ready to charge into the small herd all by herself.
Just then Michonne took a step forwards, taking her roughly by the arm and pulling her back. 'Stop,' she snapped harsly, her features drawn into an angry scowl. 'Just get out of here.'
Sasha pulled herself free, ignoring Michonne's words and charging back into battle. Sighing deeply Quinn followed her, killing walkers as she went. She was stumbling on her feet, breathing heavily. Her eyes widened when she saw a walker attacking Abraham from behind. Sasha had noticed it too, slicing at its head but she was too violent, her movement too uncontrolled and her knife left a cut on Abraham's arm.
Quinn stumbled backwards, taking in her surroundings. All the walkers were dead and she only now noticed Daryl and Carol had returned and just in time to save Rick and Glenn from two walkers that had walked up behind them.
'I told you to stop,' Michonne growled at Sasha who was seated on the ground, breathing heavily. Slowly she pushed herself back on her feet, her angry gaze focused on Michonne. The tension between them was so thick that Quinn felt like she only had to reach out to be able to touch it. But as Sasha kept her gaze focused on the other woman the anger slowly disappeared and left a shell behind. Her eyes were dead, mirrors to a soulless body. Then she turned and walked away to where the rest of the group was waiting.
Michonne's gaze drifted to Quinn who could only stare back at her friend, speechless. She knew the woman was gone, struggling to see through her grief but she hadn't realised it was this bad. Turning on her heels she looked at Abraham, who was studying the cut with genuine interest, as if he'd never seen blood before.
'Are you okay?' She questioned.
He looked up from his arm, his eyes drifting over to her. 'I'm fit as a fiddle,' he replied and she noticed the ghost of a smile lingering on his features, like this was all some incredibly funny joke. She just nodded before turning away from him.
One thing was clear as day. Their group was suffering from some serious mental issues and she feared that if they didn't find some sort of safe haven soon, it wouldn't be nature that would be the end of them.
They were seated on the edge of the road. No one was speaking, everyone caught up in their own misery. She was leaning against a tree, her body shaking feverishly. She was pretty sure it wasn't because of the heat. She still wasn't fully healed. Now the threat of dying of thirst and starvation wasn't the only doom hanging over her head.
Her eyes drifted over to Abraham sitting next to her. He was taking another swig of his booze. She couldn't imagine the burning feeling the alcohol left in his throat being helpful but he seemed determined to drown in his worries in that bottle. She shifted in her spot, a thought struck her and she opened her mouth before she had time to think it through.
'Can I have some?' She questioned. She knew one sip wasn't enough to numb her pain but the idea of having something in her body that could possibly drown out the hurt made her desperate.
Abraham looked up, his eyebrows raised but he handed her the bottle wordlessly. She took a swig before she could change her mind. The alcohol burned in her throat and stomach and she coughed, making a small smile appear on the soldier his face.
'Can't hold ya liquor?'
Shaking her head she handed the bottle back to him. 'You should see me when I've got some more food in my stomach.' Drinking games wasn't something she was unfamiliar with. 'One day, big guy, I'll drink you under the table,' she promised, feeling herself grin at him.
He let out a booming laugh, throwing his head back before taking a deep breath and calming down again. 'I'll drink to that,' he said, taking another swig before closing the bottle and putting it away in his backpack.
Smiling she shook her head, settling down against the tree again and closing her eyes. The group fell back into silence. If they heard her conversation with Abraham, no one showed any sign of it. Quinn had hoped her stupid joke might've lift the heavy tension for a second but the moment seemed to have passed by without any impact. Even Abraham was back staring ahead of himself with an empty gaze. Though she wasn't joking entirely. A drinking contest with the soldier honestly seemed like fun. Maybe in another universe...
The sound of leaves rustling broke the silence. The entire group turned to look at the forest edge on the other side of the road. From behind the trees came a pack of four huge dogs running onto the road. They stopped there, barking loudly and growling hungrily. These weren't cute dogs you could pet, the world had forced to change into violent predators. Quinn had never considered what would happen to pets getting left behind by their owners. Except for getting eaten by walkers the only other logical thing for them to do would be turning back into wild animals untamed by humans.
The group moved slowly, afraid even the slightest movement might set them off. Everyone reached for their weapons and Quinn carefully pulled her dagger out of her belt.
Just as the dogs started charging forwards a few silenced gunshots rang out, hitting the animals in their heads. They dropped down on the ground, dead before they hit the pavement.
For a second no one moved then, slowly, their heads turned to Sasha. The woman was still standing with her weapon raised, breathing heavily. No one spoke. Relief of an avoided fight was visible in the air but the worry for the grieving woman was even more prominent.
Rick moved first, standing up he started gathering branches and wordlessly he started a fire. Everyone got moving then. The dogs had to be skinned and the meat cut up in pieces before they could be eaten. Once she might've gotten sick at the very thought but now she didn't feel a thing and simply watched as Daryl showed her how to do it. It was strange to think that things like that had become the new normal. The world was just like this now and to survive you had to learn how to do these things. You had to learn how to take care of yourself and the people you loved or else it was over. She stopped thinking about these things long ago.
Twilight had already fallen when they were all done and enjoying the meat. Well, enjoying might've been overstating it but Quinn was so hungry that she hardly cared the meat was a little chewy.
'You alright?' Her brother came sitting next to her, chewing on his meat like it would save his life. In some, she supposed, it did.
She nodded, hoping he wouldn't pick up her trembling hands and unfocused gaze. The fever was setting in, which was never a good sign. Things would get worse from here on out, a lot worse. Luckily the weather was so hot that everyone was covered in sweat, so her shiny skin wasn't out of place at all.
Milo eyed her skeptical but didn't say a word, which she was thankful for.
'Enjoying your dog?' She questioned, raising her eyebrows at him.
A deep sigh left his lips. 'Never thought I'd say this but hell yes.'
The laugh left her lips before she could stop it and she couldn't help but notice Daryl looking at her, a small frown on his face as if he was trying to figure something out that was just too damn hard to solve. She looked away from him, back to her brother who was watching her with an amused gleam in his eyes. It seemed like one small glance at Daryl would never escape his notice. She hated the knowing look on his face but hated the fact that she couldn't do anything about it even more. Milo knew her better than anyone and he could tell that Daryl was more to her than just a friend, even if she didn't know what exactly he was yet. She had a feeling Milo would have no trouble naming it.
'By the way,' he started and she exhaled softly, relieved he was starting a new subject. 'I heard you say something about a drinking game earlier?'
'That's right,' she replied, her eyes searching for the ginger who was devouring his dog meat as if scared someone might take it from him, like anyone would dare. 'I'm gonna show him that size doesn't matter. Not at all.'
'Oh, I'm not worried about you,' Milo grinned. He'd seen her drinking before and knew it took a lot of alcohol to get her drunk. 'Just go easy on him,' he added with a wink.
'You find me some booze first, then we can talk,' she stated lightly.
The two of them smiled at each other before falling silent again. And for the first time in days it wasn't a heavy silence. Sure, they were almost out of water and would probably have a hard time finding food like this again but at the moment their stomachs were filled, there were no walkers in sight and they were simply cracking jokes. Life wasn't going to get much better than this.
'I've got first watch,' he sighed, then placed his hand on her shoulder, squeezing lightly. 'Why don't you get some sleep?'
She nodded thankfully at him, watching as everyone else tried to get comfortable on the uneven forest floor. She searched a spot with as few rocks as possible and lay down on her back, staring at the tree branches that formed a roof above her head. Even though she was exhausted, sleep would not come easy and judging by the breathing sounds around her, no one else was asleep either. For the first time in days they had something else to eat than nuts and berries but now it was like everyone was expecting something to go horribly wrong because of it. They didn't get lucky anymore, every good thing had to be fought for and maybe they all expected that fight to come to them any moment now. It was impossible to relax and sleep, no matter how bad she wanted to. She knew she needed sleep, her body had to heal and she needed strength for the long way to Washington but her eyes refused to close.
A soft voice then drifted through the evening air, singing a slow tune with words that filled Quinn's eyes with tears. The desperate mood hadn't gone unnoticed by the youngest Greene sister and as always she did what she could do best, lift their spirits with a song.
I stripped it down for your naked eyes
So you could understand and let me inside
So I hope you know through the rising tide
That I'll be here and you can lay by my side
The sound of her voice was angelic and filled the evening air with magic. The miserable mood slowly changed as everyone held their breath and listened to her words.
Oh, oh, oh
You can rely on me, you know
Oh, oh, oh
When this town is locked and closed, you can
Lay by me, I still care
When you need, lay by me
Lay by me, if you're here
You can still, lay by me
How she managed to calm everyone with just the sound of her voice was a mystery to Quinn. She wished she could sing like that, with a voice so soft and yet so strong, filled with a promise of a better future.
I know the places you go to hide
I've been in all those rooms I know what that's like
Staring at paint as you watch it dry
But don't forget your room is right next to mine
And you can lay by me
If that is something you would need
Lay by me, if you need
You can
Lay by me, I still care
When you need, lay by me
Lay by me, if you're here
You can still, lay by me
Her eyes closed and her body relaxed. She drifted off to sleep with the sound of angels singing. Her sleep was dreamless. For the first time in a long time there were no nightmares plaguing her, no images about her family being torn to shreds while she was powerless to stop it. No, Beth's voice calmed even her darkest thoughts and gave her a peaceful sleep, even if it was only for one night.
A U T H O R 'S N O T E
Another chapter! I'm back on schedule ya'll and it feels so good to be updating again.
Besides updating I'm doing many other things, like being an admin on walkingdeadofficial. We have something very cool that I wanted to share with you all, I swear it's worth checking out! As most you probably know season 10 of the walking dead is airing right now, every sunday evening there is a new episode. And because we all love the walking dead we have an episode dicussion book in which we share our thoughts and opinions about the episodes and just be total fangirls/fanboys together. So, if you love the walking dead as much as we do, be sure to check it out!
Also, I wanted to give credits to the writer of the song Beth is singing. I haven't written it myself, I wish I was that talented. It's called Lay be me by Ruben. It's an amazing song, soft and pretty and I definitely recommend checking it out!
That was it for today, I will see you all saturday with the next update!
xXx
UYM