~Yumi~
The concert was a success and the members were extremely happy when they got off stage. I got to see the performances up close for the first time and I was in awe of how talented they were. They all had their own individual charms and that made them shine really bright.
It made me realise just how loved they are.
I couldn't take my eyes off Seokjin but there's no way I'd tell anyone that. His voice made me feel things I never thought it would. I even ended up singing along to their songs too... though it's not like I wanted to. I couldn't help it.
Seeing Seokjin laugh and joke around with the members and the fans made me feel warm on the inside. I can see why he's loved by his fans and his members.
After everything was done, I was told that there was going to be a party for the company at the hotel we were staying at. They'd apparently booked an entire floor just for the party and although I really didn't want to go, I had no choice.
"Change," Seokjin ordered.
"Why are we staying in the same room?" I asked, loudly. "We always have different rooms—"
"The last thing we want is for the whole world to know that you and I are having problems," Seokjin lifted his eyes to meet mine as he took off his shoes, "Won't look nice for me or my members."
I blew out a sigh. "We have one whole floor for you and the members. Just you lot and no staff members—"
"Get over it," Seokjin rolled his eyes. "I'll be nice just this once and let you sleep on the floor while I take the bed."
I choked. "What? How is that being nice?"
"I could make you sleep outside?"
I scowled.
Seokjin smirked. "I need to talk to our manager. You better be done when I get back."
***
When Seokjin and I married, he made it clear that he was in love with someone else. At first I thought it was a celebrity but was really surprised when it turned out to be one of the stylists from the company. Rijin.
I've come across her now and then and I can tell you that she definitely likes him. She may be the girl Seokjin's been with when he's not at home with me or the members. It was never hard to be around her but right now, it was hard.
"Yumi noona?" I heard Jungkook said.
I didn't answer him. My eyes were glued on Seokjin and Rijin who were huddled in one of the corners, talking and laughing with each other as they drink.
Knowing he was in love with someone else was one thing but seeing him with her was another. I definitely saw how he treated her... much better than how he is with me. He smiled at her and he's laughing with her too. I've never seen Seokjin look so happy before and that really hurt me. It's not that I don't want him to be happy, I do but it's because that I'm starting to see that I'm the reason he's not like that anymore. No one wants to be the reason someone stops smiling and laughing. It freaking hurts.
I glanced at the members who were looking at me worriedly too. How can they even be around me? Seokjin doesn't smile and laugh because I'm around and yet...how can they still treat me so nicely? Is it because they pity me? Or do they want something from me just like Seokjin does?
"You're alone because you deserve to be alone."
"The reason your mother left is because she doesn't want to be around you anymore."
"No one will ever love you. Why? Because you're just like me, Yumi."
I dropped my gaze to the floor, knowing what my father said was true. When was anyone ever happy to be around me? I can't even bring up one situation. That was why it's better to be on my own. It was better for me to be alone so that no one can hurt me. Being surrounded by the members and being around Seokjin...hurts me so much. It reminded me of who I am and who I will never be.
"Let's drink!" I announced.
"Maybe you shouldn't," Jimin said slowly.
"No way!" I brushed his hand away and grabbed a bottle of soju in front of me. "Alright. Let's drink!"