Xena's P.O.V.
"Hey Xena, did you know that Leaf is leaving?" Malungkot na bungad sa akin ni Ales. I drink my tequila first before answering her. I smirk.
"So what, she doesn't like me anymore." Mapait kong sabi. She caressed my back.
"Why you didn't tell her what truly happened?" I gulped, swallowing my tears back.
"What's the used? She can't even share same air with me." Napailing siya at napadekwatro.
"Ugh, madrama rin pala ang bubwit na iyon.." may panlilibak niyang sabi. Napangisi ako, she's somewhat right.
"But, not dramatic as you.." humalakhak siya, I glared at her. Napatakip siya sa maingay niyang bunganga.
"Shut the fuck up, Ales.." I snorted.
"Whatever, Xenaiden.." she said and roamed her eyes around.
"That Ice, why her and Leaf are so close suddenly?" Medyo inis kong sabi.
"Maybe Ice is comforting her.." she shrugged, padabog kong binaba ang shot glass at nagulat siya.
"She is not like that, Alessana!!" I said furiously, she raised her hands up.
"Seriously, calm down, Xena. You are getting attention.." I closed my eyes tightly and calming myself.
"It's seriously nothing, Xena.." she said, I opened my eyes and look at her sharply.
"If it's nothing, she will not save Leaf and brought her to hospital after she passed out during that incident!" I am almost shouting at her.
"Look Xena, we all know even how cold Ice is, she came from a soft person.." napabuntong hininga ako.
"I am not convinced, there's something in her actions that we never seen before." I tap my hand above the bar counter, I am getting dizzy.
"You know what, hindi naman natin siya kasama lumaki, tayong tatlo nila Lian ang magkakasabay right? We just know her when we reached 7th grade.. maybe we don't really know her.." I shrugged, basta I hate her!
"Save your explaination, I am not interested." Hindi makapaniwala niya akong tinignan.
"Seriously?!" Inirapan ko lang ito. Bumaba ako sa barstool.
"Where the heck are you going?!" She shouted since the music is getting hype.
"Somewhere na wala ka!" She shrugged, aba hindi ako hinabol. Padabog akong naglakad, inis ako, wala bang susuyo diyan?!?!?
Dear, wala ng kagaya ni Leaf na susundan ka kahit ipagtabuyan mo siya.
Shut up, Mind!
Napa-upo ako sa damuhan na nakita ko, napa-iyak na lang ako, I am so longing for her. She just left yesterday, why am I feeling this?! I thought everything will be alright after she left?! Why am I hurting at nagmumukhang dog kakasunod sa kaniya?! I am not like that.
Oh dear, you are inlove with her..
May lumukso sa dibdib, hindi siya yung masakit na pintig kundi, something that made me calm.
There's no way that I already love her?!
Fine, I like her..
I like her a lot.
I don't even know where to start after she left.
I feel worthless, not worthy to love.
Nagpadala ako sa takot at regret.
Napatakip ako sa mukha, wala na akong pakialam kahit mukha akong tangang humagulgol.
"Aish, Miss. Ang ingay mo.." napa-angat ako ng tingin, nanlaki ang mata ko, i-is that Leaf?! Mabilis akong tumayo at niyakap siya, I don't know what I am doing.
"H-hoy, wag mo ako yakapin.." hindi ko siya binitawan. Mas hinigpitan ko pa ang yakap ko.
"I miss you, don't left me again, Leaf.." I sniffed her hair, wait, amoy melon siya, Leaf's smell is like fresh strawberry with chocolate. But why she looks like her?!
"Hoy Miss, hindi ako yung boyfriend mo.." mabilis akong bumitaw at ini-adjust ang eyesight ko, oh, hindi nga.
"Oh, sorry. I thought you are someone I know.." sumalampak ako ulit at tumanaw sa sky.
"Buti na lang, babae ako. Baka pag lalaki eh iuwi ka na. Tsk tsk.." umupo siya sa tabi ko. May kinuha siya sa bulsa niya, kita ko sa peripheral vision ko.
"Oh, panyo." Humarap ako sa kaniya at tinignan ang palad niya, may puting panyo. Hindi ko siya pinansin at humarap ulit sa harapan. She clicked her tongue.
Nagulat ako ng ibinaling niya ang mukha ko sa kaniya, she is holding my chin, she gently wiped my face, my heart start to race. Her eyes, it was grayish, her pointed nose, poreless white face, her small lips and a cleft chin, really something, I noticed a bruise beside her lip.
"Hindi ka dapat umiiyak, masyado kang maganda para gawin yun.." she whisper since our face was inch apart, I closed my eyes, her breath, it smells like minty melon. Damn.
"Done.." she distance herself I opened my eyes. I just noticed that, she's wearing white shirt with blood stain, her black hair is quite messy, but it added hotness, what.
She's wearing many rings and black ripped jeans, she looks emo.
"What happened to you?" Hindi ko na napigilang magtanong, she smirked.
"I just had a little fight.. don't worry, I am fine.." she smirked she looks pretty sarcastic ang gangster.
"I am member of a band, not a gang, if you are just won'dring.." she speak in American accent, wow her voice is raspy.
"Oh, I see." I just stared at her, how can some girl can look so cool as her.
"Are you okay?" She asked sweetly, I think I blushed, I look away.
"Y-yeah.." she clicked her tongue again.
"Hindi dapat ang sagot, obvious kaya.." she mocked and lumapit pa.
"It's okay to not be fine.." she whisper at humangin, tinangay ang ilang strands ng buhok ko, she tucked them behind my ear, I find her gesture sweet. I bit my lip to stop it from forming a smile.
"Kinilig?" Napakunot ang noo ko, I remember Leaf.
"No way.." she laughed, I look away I think I just smiled.
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"Hey sugar, what's with the long face? It's your special day!" Mom said and caressed my hair, today is our graduation day, I finally finished college, still I feel empty.
"It's nothing, Mom.." I forced a smile.
"I know you feel sad, it's been two years and you didn't tell me yet.." hinampo niya. Noon pa niya inuungot sa akin yan when my 20th birthday. Wait, I just remembered that time..
-Flashback-
The party's finally over, I am so tired faking my smile, it's my birthday today, at hindi ko man lang napansin. I feel like crying, a tear streamed down my face. I removed my heels and sit down to my veranda and looking at the moonlight of midnight.
I miss her, I thought I am going to celebrate my birthday with her, like I did to her. I went back inside to get wine sana, but I noticed something on bed, a box in mint color with pastel orange ribbon, parang sa lahat ng gift, dito ako na-excite buksan. I feel something special on it. I quickly grabbed the hand-size box. I shake it, I feel that I smiled.
Kinalagan ko ang ribbon at unti-unting binuksan ang kahon at mayroong...keychain na may figure na kulay yellow with eyeglasses. Ugh it looks so freaking weird! What is this?!
Binaba ko ito, and I noticed something, like a sheet of paper, I feel my heart pound in excitement.
Hi, Happy Birthday, Xena. I still can't get over you. I still get jealous with the girl who's always with you. That thing is called miniom. IMYSB.
I feel my heart race, who's this person? My heart's saying it's her, but my mind saying it's impossible, she hates me. Is he/she referring to Juno? The girl I met in the park, few months ago, eww we are just friends! I smell the scented paper, it smells like strawberry, I think what my heart says right.
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"You are spacing out again, anak.." She said worriedly.
"If your father see you, he will kill the one who makes you sad.." marahas akong lumingon sa kaniya.
"Mom, I am seriously fine! C'mon na nga!" She laughed and I just smiled..
"Andito na ba sila Ate, Mom?" Sinundo ni Dad sila ate sa airport, she stopped from checking her emails and look at me.
"Yes, nasa school na sila in a few.." I just nodded. The driver risen up the stereo's volume.
Kinukulayan ang isipan
Pabalik sa nakaraan
Huwag mo nang balikan
Patuloy ka lang masasaktan
Hindi nagkulang kakaisip
Sa isang magandang larawan
Tayo ay pinagtagpo, ngunit hindi tinadhana
Sadyang mapaglaro itong mundo
Kinalimutan kahit nahihirapan
Para sa sariling kapakanan
Kinalimutan kahit nahihirapan
Mga oras na hindi na mababalikan
Pinagtagpo ngunit hindi tinadhana
Puso natin ay hindi, sa isa't-isa
Agad akong binalot ng inis because of lyrics!
"Ugh, manong can you turn off that effin stereo?!?!" Inis kong sabi, nagulat siya at daliang pinatay, he can't even look at me.
"What's with the sudden burst?" Nagtatakang tanong ni Mom, I just shook my head. I am out of mood..
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"Oh my gosh, Xena, Congrats sis!" I smiled and hug my Ate Xanthippe, she look dashing as always. The crowd went silent when an intimidating aura passed by. I roll my eyes.
"Xenaiden ugh, this is what McLemore now? Students are so ill-mannered!" Inis na sabi ni Ate Xenon.
"Oh please, Xenon." Napa-iling si Ate Xanti sa kaniya, I just checking my nails, ugh it's more interesting than listening to her rants.
"I don't know, Ate.." sagot ko na lang, at baka magbuga pa siya ng apoy, patuloy pa rin siya sa pagtatalak.
"Hey Xena, I don't know that black toga suited you.." biglang sumilakbo ang inis ko, masamang tinitigan ko si Alessana.
"Well, you like a student who finally graduated who can't remember any of her lessons." She raised an eyebrow at annoying na tumawa si Lian, ugh buhay pa pala ito.
"Omg, gurl! I can't hold my tawa kasi, that's so funny, omg, I can't----" inirapan ko lang siya.
"Where is Icella?" Walang gana kong tanong, duh, imbyerna pa rin ako sa kaniya, I ask her to explain what's her connection to That-Girl, but she just walked away, ugh, I am so pissed!
"She's preparing for her speech, she's the top of all eh?" She laughed and I just rolled my, eyes nag-uusap lang sila ng fam ko, while my mind is flying somewhere that it shouldn't be, here I am, hate to admit that, I am still stucked in the past, I can't move on. I am starting to think that I am stupid person, who didn't know how to forget.
Dramatic.
Siguro, if Leaf was here, she will be the summa cum laude of this batch, parang sumikip ang dibdib ko, did she just finished her studies?
"Hey, let's go, the program is about to start.." I get a grip of myself and compose my usual posture, strong and independent. I feel Ales' arm snaked around my shoulder at pinabigat niya, ugh she's so squammy, pumiglas ako tatadyakan na siya.
"Iniisip ka rin non!" She smirked, I look at her in puzzled way.
"Excuse me, maraming nag-iisip sa akin, ugh be more specific!" Napahalakhak siya.
"Conceited as always.." napa-iling siya, nauna siyang naka-upo since "R" yung surname niya while me is in "S", she just few feet away from me, well that's good enough, the whole ceremony will be so damn peaceful.
While I am in the middle of judging everyone's look, ugh do they know about fashion? Dinadala nila ang ang McLemore sa kahihiyan!
A girl passes by which made me annoy, humampas lang naman sa akin ang toga niya, ugh! What the actual fuck?!!!
"Hey bitch----!!" Bigla na lang nawala, ugh! Napa-pandyak ako sa inis, I want to grab that girl's hair. Ugh, I think I just step on something! Ugh, there's no way that there will be poop here! Eww?! My God!
"What on earth---" I look down and I saw an orange envelope, I feel my heart race. The color, seems familiar, like an autumn leaves. I pick it up. It smells, chocolate and strawberry, it feels so familiar.
I opened it and I saw a paper inside.
It says.
Congratulations. You made it.
My heart pound so fast, is it really for me? I flip down the the paper below.
It's for you, Xena.
Ibinulsa ko ang papel, I just feel like smiling. Who are you, really?
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"Shocks, Icey, you look so cool up there kanina!" Puri ni Lian. I drink another shot of vodka, we are here in Ice's place, we put up a little celebration.
"Shut up, Lian." Pero tumili lang ito.
"Seriously, Ice. Aren't you happy?" Tanong ni Ales, I just listening to them.
"I don't feel anything, Alessana." She said and drink. Epal talaga siya.
"Hey, Xena! Don't drink too much." Sinamaan ko nang tingin si Ales.
"Pakialam mo ba, Ramirez! I am celebrating!" I said sarcastically, nagkibit balikat lang siya, sanay na talaga sa moodswing ko.
"Ugh, a week from now I am going to work! My God! I hate to be haggard kaya!" Reklamo ni Lian.
"Share mo lang?" Pang-asar na sabi ni Ales, she just pouted.
"Oo Ales! Share ko lang!" Inawat na sila ni Ice bago magsapakan.
"Ugh, that sucks, Lian, me too." I said nonchalantly.
"Actually, all of us." Ales said and drink her soju, feeling korean?
"What's your plan, Ice?" Tanong ni Ales.
"Planning to work, what else?" Her voice is sarcastic yet so cold, ugh, Ales is so stupid.
"Lagi mong dala yung ka-stupidan mo, Ramirez.." panlilibak ko sa kaniya. She just say 'nye nye' oh my God, how annoying?
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"I would like to introduce to you my youngest daughter here, Xenaiden Saavedra.." Dad cheerfully say at plastic lang akong ngumiti, ugh my week break passed so fast! Nagpalakpakan silang lahat, dapat lang. Dinismiss na sila ni Dad.
"Anak, just feel home here, okay? Don't pressure yourself!" Dad cheers me, I smiled sweetly at him.
"Sure, Dad! Don't worry about me." We stopped at huge maroon door, I think this is gonna be my office.
"I know anak, do your best! Chop chop!" He hugged me and kiss the top of my head. I enter the fancy office I designed by myself, of course it is beautiful like the owner, don't expect I own something ugly, oh, si Del Fiero, oops, stupid, di siya naging akin.
Fuck, I should stop thinking about her!
I sit down to my swivel chair and face the huge window, which the city is visible. I get my phone and open my instagram account, I take a selfie and posted it, ugh, diyosa.
I refresh the feed, oh Icella posted a picture of a book, yes, people may IG na siya, tao na siya! We even celebrated that time!
May caption na, "glad you bought this." May naka-tag na account, named, WhoDrinkMyTea, oh who could it that be? I shrugged my shoulder and clicked the account, ugh, Ice never posted our pics and tagged us! I am so curious who is this?!
Nabitawan ko ang cellphone, at napatakip sa bibig, I feel my chest throbbed in anticipation, no it can't be?!
I grabbed it, this account is not in private. There are few photos of the girl who I supposedly forgetting. Nanginginig akong pinindot ang picture niya, she was smiling, she look matured and professional, she is holding a dog.
She looks more beautiful, I feel the fast beats of my heart, unconsciously, I pressed the follow button, oh my God! I am so doomed! I quickly, tap the unfollow. Oh my God?! Baka mag-notify sa kaniya, pero mukhang hindi siya active, last year pa ang naka-indicate na date sa picture, after I look at all of her 10 pictures, oo na ini-screenshot ko na rin! Ugh, okay fine, I am planning to save it to private album.
Napasandal ako sa swivel chair.
Damn you, Del Fiero, inlove parin ako sayo!
Eww
No way!!!
Gusto pa rin kita! That.is.it! Like lang noh!
Why are you so hard to forget?
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Media: Xenon Saavedra
Oh, it's been 84 years.