I stare at myself in the mirror and the girl looking back is definitely not me. I am wearing a knee-length green shift with a modest neckline. It hugs my curves nicely and I've paired it with my black heels which make my legs look longer than they actually are.
I don't know who this Avery is but I like her. I like her because she has a normal life, she has friends, she has a decent reputation, she can go out and have fun without anyone whispering behind her back or calling her a slut.
I sit on my bed and debate for the hundredth time, whether I should apologize to him or not. Yes, this him we are talking about is Roman James because I know I fucked up real this time. I just wanted him to suffer a bit of embarrassment at the party as he embarrassed me in class. I didn't want him to end up in a hospital.
I've been feeling guilty ever since Garret announced in the cafeteria today that he ended up in the ER last night because of some little prank. He winked at me while he told everyone about it like he's proud of me.
I wanted to apologize, but I don't want to admit to everyone that this was because of me. I mean I know it got out of hand but my intentions were not evil so that counts for something right?
I was distracted all day in school and on top of that there is this freakin' party and Amelia and Lily convinced me to go with them. So, with my self-conscience nagging at me, I've been worried to death about this party too. I feel like I'm not ready for it right now. My worst nightmare started at a party, that was my first and the last party. But I guess I'll never be ready for it. My mom did tell me to go and try everything again, but I guess I'll always be wary of parties.
"Avery, Kyle is here!" My mom shouts from the living room. I look at myself in the mirror again, pushing all the doubts out of my mind, and head downstairs. Kyle was to pick up me and Lily while Ben will be picking up Claudia and Amelia. Since the party will be crowded, there was no point in going alone and taking so many cars.
As I enter the living room, my mom makes her way towards me, her eyes shining with unshed tears.
"You look so beautiful, my little bear," she says as she pushes a strand of hair behind my ear and looks at me like I'm the most beautiful thing she has ever seen. Her face becomes stern as she lectures me about all the precautions I need to take while I'm there, which by the way I've been listening to all day and still can't make myself feel bored or roll my eyes like a normal teenager because I love her way too much and I know where all of this is coming from.
We both look at Kyle, who has a weird expression on his face as he takes in our mother-daughter exchange. Guilt? Pain? I don't know, but I don't give it much of a thought as my mom tells him to look after me and to not leave me alone at any cost or she'll hang him upside down in our living room, and then she'll chop his fingers off one by one.
Yeah, my mom is just as badass as me.
******
I think I'm going to puke. We've been at the house party for ten minutes and it's pretty decent but I don't think I will be able to hold on to myself for long. The living room is filled with people. A few girls are chatting by the fireplace. A group of guys is standing at the built-in bar. All the furniture has been pushed against the wood-paneled walls to create a makeshift dance floor in the center of the room. Everywhere I look, I see people dancing and laughing and shooting the shit, but poor Kyle is stuck with me and Lily is pouting at his side because he won't dance with her.
I know he's staying with me because my mom told him so, but he can keep an eye on me from anywhere and I feel bad that they are stuck with me and can't enjoy the party.
"Seriously Kyle, just go and have fun. You don't have to be stuck with me," I say as I look at him
"I don't want to go anywhere and I promised your mom that I'll keep an eye on you," he replies, not looking at me.
"You can keep an eye on me from anywhere. Don't be a mood killer and just go. I promise I won't go anywhere."
He sighs, "Fine, I'll go but don't go anywhere, Avery. I'm serious. Okay?"
"Promise," I say as they leave.
Now that I'm all alone, I don't know what to do. I take a sip of my coke which I brought from my home course. Yeah, I can't trust anyone here. My mind again wanders to Roman James, he deserves an apology right? And what do you know the second I think about him, the devil himself enters the room. I didn't expect to see him today since he was in the ER for his… problem.
I turn my back to him, not ready to apologize so soon, just as a cute guy with wavy brown hair and brown eyes approaches me. He looks a bit shy though.
"Hey," he says, cheerfully.
"Hey," is all I can answer.
"We have History together," he says with a smile.
"Oh, I’ve never seen you," I reply.
"Yeah, I kinda fall speechless whenever I see you," he says and winks at me.
Not so shy, I see.
"Speechless in front of my beauty?" I raise an eyebrow.
"If beauty were a time, you'd be an eternity," he says quite smoothly.
Uh-oh, did he really just say that? Argh way too cheesy.
"Smooth but cheesy," I remark.
He laughs a bit, and asks, "Do you wanna dance?"
NOOOO
"Can we just talk more? I mean I don't even know your name. You're basically a stranger," I say.
"Oh no, I didn't even realize that I forgot to tell you my name. I'm Jonathan," He says and extends his hand to shake and I accept it politely. "Avery."
"Do you know Roman James?" He asks.
"Ehh no, why?" I ask.
"Because if looks could kill, you would be dead by now. He's glaring daggers at you, literally," Jonathan says.
Oh no
I look back and sure enough Roman James is looking right at me, no, he's glaring daggers at me and now that he's caught my attention, he's making his way towards us.
Jesus, save me.
I quickly look at Jonathon and ask "You wanted to dance right? Let's dance."
I don't give him a chance to reply, as I grab his hand and start pulling him towards the makeshift dance floor.
But of course, my luck is as crap as this situation as my path is soon blocked by a six-foot-two and two hundred pounds of Roman James.
"Angel," he says cheerfully, "How’re you doing? Long time no see."
I don't like his cheerful voice, knowing that he is definitely up to something.
He looks at me, then at Jonathan, then at our joined hands. I quickly drop Jonathan's hand, to not send any wrong signals of us being together or anything.
He looks at Jonathon again and asks, "Do you mind if I talk to her for a second? We have some serious business going on." He looks at me with accusing eyes and I know, I just know that he knows, that I'm behind his visit to the hospital.
Jonathan looks at me and I shake my head and plead with my wide eyes. I try to tell him with my eyes to not leave me with this big ass monster alone.
He'll kill me and will dump my body in an ocean and will never get caught. But of course, Jonathan being a wimp, just lowers his eyes and shrugs. Like he doesn't have anything else to say and scurries away.
Stay away from Jonathan's wimp ass? Check.
Well, you got a chance now, apologize and get it over with Avery.
He grabs my upper arm all of a sudden and drags me to the nearest empty room and locks the door behind him.
Now here's the thing, it should freak me out, it should make me want to run in the opposite direction. It should really freak me out or at least make me want to keep a safe distance between us, but my heart and my body do the exact opposite thing.
They feel safe in his presence. It's like my heart knows, that even though he's a complete moron and he knows how to intimidate someone, he'll never, ever harm me. He'll rather cut his penis off than harm me physically or mentally.
And now I'm staring at him with a weird look in my eyes because a few seconds later he snaps his fingers in front of my face, and speaks, "Back to earth, Angel. I ain't letting you seduce me just because we're alone."
"Oh please, like I would ever seduce you. Keep dreaming, asshole," I say and roll my eyes.
"Back to the subject. You took it way too far this time," he says, glaring down at me.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I say, looking around the room, not quite meeting his eyes.
Stop playing the innocent card, Avery! He knows what you did.
"You know exactly what I’m talking about, Angel,” he said.
"I think you should stop calling me, Angel," I say.
Stop changing the subject and just apologize you stubborn ass
"No, I won't stop calling you Angel and I think you should stop changing the subject."
What the fuck.
"Stop copying my mind!" I say, resting my hands on my hips and glare up at him.
"What? Oh god, I swear you're the weirdest girl I've ever met in my whole life," he says, pinching the bridge of his nose like he finds it hard to deal with me. "My parents freaked out because of you, it was so hard to handle them," he continues.
And with that, the guilt rushes back in. I mean I know it was a bit too much, but he started this war, it was his fault and he has to suffer the consequences now.
"Well I'll apologize to your parents, but I will not apologize to you," I say, crossing my arms over my chest, daring him to cross me.
He looks at me, then looks at the ceiling, like he's blaming God for my existence before he looks back at me. "You took it too far and you better get ready to pay for it, Angel. I won't let you get away with this," he says, turning on his heel and walking out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
I already know that he'll come back with one hell of revenge, I just have to be prepared.
I turn and leave the room, making my way back to the party. I try to find my friends but no one's in the sight. I turn and head to the bar, thinking I might find someone there. I spot Kyle from a distance, who's muttering something in Lily's ear which makes her blush. And I can only imagine what he's telling her.
I start walking towards them when my shoulder bumps into someone, who's walking in the opposite direction with a red cup in his hand. I look back, apologize, and start walking again when a hand grips my shoulders.
I look back to find the guy who I bumped into staring at me with a frown on his face. Suddenly his expression changes and a shocked expression takes place instead. Then he utters those words, which I thought I would never hear again. Words that make me sick to my stomach, which haunts me every single night.
"You're Will's Avery right?"
My whole world crashes down, my face goes pale and panic starts welling up inside me. My mind goes numb and my heartbeat picks up. I don't know what to say, I thought I was so far away from everything and everyone. I don't want my past to come back and make my life a living nightmare, not again.
"Guys, look here. She's the one. She's Will's Avery!" The guy starts calling to his friends, and a few people around us stop to look at what’s happening.
I can't say anything, as my legs start shaking, I don't think I can stand any longer as all of a sudden, Kyle's beside me.
He's shouting at the guy, who's making a scene but I'm unable to listen to anything they say. I soon feel a wave of dizziness seep in and before I know I'm falling as blackness envelopes me.
Heyyyy cuties. Hope you're all doing well.
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