𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐮𝐬𝐭 ~ 𝐄𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧

𝐓𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞

Sebastian hadn't moved from his spot on the ground all night and now it was morning. The room had the smell of vomit wafting through the air mixed in with blood and disgust. His father was already in his room, most likely passed out, so Sebastian had plenty of time to rush downstairs and clean out his trash can. Except, he couldn't. He couldn't move. He was glued to the floor.

He felt trapped. He didn't want to keep living like this, didn't want to stick around for that to happen again. Because in Sebastian's mind, if he does one more slip up, it's over. He's ruined.

If Sebastian keeps coming home late, if he keeps being slow, keeps disrespecting his fathers friends... it was to happen again. He just knew it.

Sebastian finally picks himself up off the ground, knuckles covered in a dark purple and dried blood, and picks up his rubbish bin. He does his usual routine, washing out the vomit and placing in a new bag. Spraying perfume around his room to hide the smell. To hide the trauma.

He then washes his face, gripping tightly at either side of the basin, water dripping from his skin. He looks at himself in the broken mirror, looks at the brokenness of himself. How the cracks remind him of his own being. His mind. How his sanity was broken. His sense of hope was shattered. His will to live down to two people. Chris and Letitia.

Sebastian and Letitia had grown closer and closer each day, Letitia respecting Sebastian's choices to when he needs space, easing him to trust her little by little. She knew that he was shy and extremely timid. That he was scared of screwing up and letting everyone down. That he was scared of being left behind. Letitia would never leave Sebastian behind.

He and Chris had also grown closer. Though, Chris was a little bit more nosy, mainly curious, than Letitia and needed to know what was going on in Sebastian's mind. Sebastian was happy that he cared, but he hated lying. Especially to Chris.

Sebastian takes a shaky seat on the edge of the bathtub, placing an arm out in front of him to analyse the damage from the glass. Some of the shards were still dug into his skin, whereas the ones he had been able to remove were deep, pink and irritated, and covered in dry blood.

Sebastian sighs and begins to pull the glass from his skin, biting his lip, willing the tears not to fall. Blood, dark and warm, slid down his arm, pooling on the floor. It reminded him of all the times his father had grabbed a knife or even a piece of glass while Sebastian was struggling to breathe on the floor, grabbed his arm and sliced the skin. Sebastian would scream, trying with all his might to get away. His father was always a step ahead of him. He would place a foot on Sebastian's back or throat, laugh evilly, then continue his torture. He would spit harsh things, sending a knife straight through Sebastian's heart.

"This, will prove that whatever you told were lies." He would say. "You deserve this, you've been a very bad boy."

Then, he would move onto the other arm, and Sebastian would scream. Scream and cry at the unbelievable pain coursing through his veins. The amount of blood spilling to the floor.

Sebastian shakes his head. Stop thinking about it. He hisses to himself. If you're good, it'll never happen again.

Sebastian can't bring himself to believe it though.

Once he was finished cleaning himself up, Sebastian heads downstairs with a shake in his step, unable to look in a certain direction. He makes it into the kitchen and opens the fridge, finding absolutely nothing to eat. He sighs.

Ever since the cabins, Sebastian has been trying to eat breakfast. Not as much as he should though. Just the thought of eating anything gave him a sickness in his stomach.

Sebastian grabs $50 from his father's wallet, knowing full well the consequences, and throws on his shoes. He unlocks the door, takes one look back inside and begins his walk to the store. It's around a thirty minute walk and luckily Sebastian enjoyed walking everywhere.

He raises his head up to the sky. It was a dull blue and covered in grey clouds, reciprocating Sebastian's emotions. His emotions in which he was trying to hold in. Trying to focus on the now and not the past. Though the past was only a week ago.

Sebastian takes in a deep breath and shakes his head, clenching his hands into fists. "It's okay." He whispers to himself, lips wobbling. "It's okay. It won't ever happen again."

Sebastian keeps his head down the rest of the walk, not wanting to attract any attention to himself. When he arrives at the store, ready to walk inside, a voice, filled with such venom it has Sebastian's knees buckling in fear.

"Oi, fag." Joel.

Sebastian stops in his tracks and winces at the harsh hand that grabs at his arm, turning him to face the bully. Joel was wearing that same smirk as always, looking almost like a younger, non drunk version of his father. "Got any money for me?"

Sebastian shakes his head. "No." He whispers. And oh how he wished he hadn't.

A hand, large and cold wraps around his throat and slams him against the stores outside wall. The feeling is all too familiar to Sebastian and he whimpers, gritting his teeth. He knew not to struggle now, that would only make the hand squeeze harder. He knew not to spit in said persons face, that would only make them angrier, more aggressive. Sebastian knew to never fight back.

"Come on." Joel taunts. "You haven't got your little bodyguard here to protect you, might as well hand it over." His knee slips between Sebastian's thighs, causing the hitch of the boys throat and tears to threaten to fall down his cheeks.

Sebastian looks into Joel's eyes, frightened, shaking like a leaf. "Please." Sebastian whimpers, allowing the tears to fall. "St-stop."

Joel cackles. "I don't think so, fag. You must enjoy this, huh? Probably got that Evans guy to do it to you the whole camp. Disgusting." He spits in Sebastian's face.

Sebastian squeezes his eyes shut. Please, not again. His chest was beginning to fall tight, pressing on his lungs. The intake of air was harsh and getting harder to do by the second. Sebastian yelps as the knee presses harsher. "Please!" He begs. "Please!"

"I advise that you listen." An overly familiar voice growls.

Joel pauses his actions and turns to the voice, throwing Sebastian to the floor. "And why should I listen to you, Emily?" Joel spits with a chuckle, shaking his head. "What're you gonna do? Hit me?"

Emily laughs, then fires her fist right into Joel's nose, sending him to the ground. "That's exactly what I'll do again if you don't leave." Her voice is harsh, scary even. To Sebastian it was.

Joel does as he's told and sets off in a small jog down the street. Emily rolls her eyes and gazes over at the crying Sebastian, her face softening. "Oh Seb." She whispers, kneeling down in front of him and holding his face gently. "What did that asshole do to you?"

Sebastian wants to pull his face away. Wants to get up and run as far away as possible, but. He couldn't. "Nothing." Sebastian responds hoarsely. "M'fine."

Emily sighs. "You're far from fine, your shaking like crazy." She says carefully. "I can't believe he had the nerve to do that to you."

Sebastian wipes away his tears. "I'm used to it." He shrugs. "Nobody used to care for me."

Emily frowns. "Well, you've got us, yeah? And I sure as hell care. You seem awesome. I'd love to get to know you." She pats his knee and helps him to his feet, dusting the dirt from Sebastian's clothes. "Now, let me help you, yeah?"

Sebastian's lip wobbles and he nods. "But.." he whispers. "Could you... not.. uh.."

Emily looks at him in confusion. "What's up?"

Sebastian gulps. "Could you not tell Chris about this? Please? He.. I.. I don't wanna worry him."

"Of course, whatever you want Seb."

"Thank you."

Emily smiles and reaches her hand out for Sebastian to take. He does, and allows her to lead him into the store. "I still can't believe what he did." Emily hisses, grabbing a basket. "It was uncool."

Sebastian shrugs. "Like I said, I'm used to it. He does it all the time." Except it was different this time. I almost had a panic attack.

Emily looks at him sadly. Sebastian seemed so lost. So fragile. She was gonna make him have some fun. "What do you need?" Emily asks, changing the subject. Sebastian sighs in relief.

"As much as fifty dollars can cover." He responds.

"That's not much.."

"Money's tight."

Emily nods. "Well, you're lucky I'm here. I'm great at looking for bargains." She says with a smile. "So, if we do the math right, we could probably get a bottle of milk, some bread, a box of cereal, some bananas and another fruit of your choice, and some veggies. Sound good?"

Sebastian pauses. "Are.. are you sure?" He asks. "That seems like more than fifty."

Emily smiles. "Don't sweat it. If it's over, I'll pay the rest."

"I can't let you d—

Emily cuts him off. "Too bad. Now, let's get shopping."

The two finish in no time, Emily distracting Sebastian with cheesy jokes and pick up lines that had been used on her to make him laugh. "God, you wanna know what the worse one was?" Emily asks with a giggle, carrying one of the bags.

Sebastian smiles. "What?"

Emily snorts. "If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cutecumber."

Sebastian lets out a soft giggle, cupping a hand over his mouth. "Okay yeah, that takes the cake." He says, taking the bag from Emily and slinging it over his shoulder. "You get hit on a lot?" Sebastian asks, clearing his throat.

Emily shrugs. "I guess, but I don't really take any notice." She says as though it was no big deal. Sebastian gawks. He wouldn't have a clue what to do if he had been hit on as many times as Emily had. Probably run away and hide in the bathrooms.

"So." Emily breaks the silence, bringing Sebastian to take a seat on a park bench and pulling out her phone. "What are your hobbies?" She asks, typing away.

Sebastian bites his lip. "Um... I like to read." He mumbles with a small shrug. Emily gazes over her phone, eyes narrowed in utter seriousness.

"Come on," she pushes, placing down the phone with a grin. "There must be something more? Chris said something about you being into constellations or something?"

Sebastian sighs. Goddammit Chris. "I guess.. nerdy, am I right?"

Emily shakes her head. "No, that's cool. I'd love to know more about constellations, but maybe another day yeah?" She suggests and Sebastian nods. "I wanna know more about you. Tell me more of your hobbies, embarrassing stories."

The two talk for hours up until Emily has to go. She drops Sebastian off at the street he had told Chris to let him walk from and waves her goodbye. He was quite excited to get to know her.

****

Chris stares out of the large window in the lounge, smiling as the clouds begin to clear and the sun begins to shine. It sent a flash of happiness through him, watching the sky clear. It let him know that today was going to be a good day. He was awaiting the arrival of Emily, as they had organised to have a nice chilled out day together and she was already thirty minutes late. Emily was never late.

Chris pulls his phone from his pocket and decides to flick the girl a text. "Where r u?" He sends it, almost falling from his seat on the couch at the fast reply he receives.

Just dropped Seb off, be there soon - Em

Chris furrows his brows. Dropped Sebastian off?

Okay - Chris

He place's his phone back into his pocket and falls back onto the couch, staring up at the ceiling, leaving the chance for Ellie to leap onto his stomach. Chris lets out a small 'Oof' of surprise and groans, Ellie giggling.

"Ellie." Chris mumbles, placing his hands on her sides before falling into a large tickle attack.

Ellie squeals with laughter, wriggling around to the point she fell to the floor in a fit of pants, tears in the corners of her eyes. Chris laughs, sitting up and looking down at her. "You okay?" He asks.

Ellie nods with a giggle.

"Chris honey!" His mother suddenly calls. "Emily's here."

Chris jumps from his seat, lifting Ellie from the floor and placing her on his hip and walks over to the door. Emily grins at the two of them, pinching Ellie's cheeks gently. "Hey munchkin," she coos, Ellie giggling. "Hey, Chris."

Chris smiles. "Hey Em."

He moves to the side and allows her to step into the house, placing Ellie back on her feet. "Sorry I took so long." Emily says, kicking off her shoes. "I ran into Sebastian and completely forgot the time."

Chris waves her off. "Nah, it's fine. How is he?"

Emily sighs. "I'm not really sure. He seemed kinda shaky." She responds sadly. "But after some chatting, he eased up around me."

Chris nods with a frown on his lips. The two make their way downstairs to Chris's bedroom, taking a seat on his messily made bed. "What'd you mean by shaky?" Chris asks.

Emily shrugs. "Literally shaky. He was shaking on the spot."

"Do you know why?"

"No."

Chris gives her a look. "Emily." He says in a voice Emily knew all to well. The kind of voice that knew she was lying.

Emily places her hands up in surrender. "I can't tell you!" She says. "Sebastian told me not to."

Chris groans. Great. What are we in, middle school?

"Chris, don't worry. He's perfectly fine."

****

Sebastian's father is waiting for him when he opens the front door. A scowl was on his chapped lips, arms crossed over his chest, chocolate eyes dark and murderous. Sebastian gulps.

"Why did you steal my money?" It's more an order than it is a question and has Sebastian shaking on the spot.

Sebastian bows his head. "We- we had no food..." he whispers, placing the bags down on the ground to prove his point. "I— I just thought that... that you would want me to—" his father cuts him off with a slap across the cheek.

"You thought wrong." He growls, grabbing Sebastian by the collar of his shirt and throwing him against the wall. "You should know by now to use your own money!" He fires his fist into Sebastian's jaw, sounding a pained yelp. "Worthless piece of—

Another punch, harder then the last and is fired right into Sebastian's nose. He screams, the sound of bones cracking, and falls onto his back. Sebastian's nose was broken. Again. They can't afford the hospital. The look on Sebastian's fathers face when he raises his head says it all.

'Have fun dealing with that'

Then, almost as if Sebastian knew what were to happen, a bottle appears in his fathers hand. Sebastian shakes his head, tears falling freely down his cheeks. "No- please-" Sebastian whimpers. "Don't!"

His father chuckles and raises the beer bottle behind his head. "Night night." He slurs before throwing the bottle directly at the side of Sebastian's head, throwing him unconscious as the glass shatters.

****