"You're not okay today are you?!"
"I'm not, I'll get drunk and high, I'll probably try cocaine too"
"Babe you know you can talk to me about it"
"There's nothing to talk about, it's just one day in the year"
"So what you think cocaine is gonna help that? Cause it's not"
"I'll try anything"
"Then why not try do it the right way, Without drugs and alcohol"
"I thought you knew, I don't know how to do things the right way" He coughed and rubbed his face.
Pulling back the covers I climed into bed beside him and covered us both up. "Well something to help you let go a little"
"Like what?!"
"Do you trust me later? You're probably just gonna think it's stupid though" I wrapped my arm over his waist cuddling in slightly to keep us both warm, the warmth spread threw my body as his arms touched my back pulling me in closer. "You don't have to if you don't want too you know that right"
"Babe I would say no if I don't want too" he coughed. "You seem to be forgetting my nature"
"Then we'll do it tonight. I know but I just wanna make sure and don't wanna pressure you especially not today"
"Anything is better than sitting and thinking"
"Yeah but it's gonna involve you saying what you really feel" I looked at him close, knowing it wasn't easy for him to talk about some parts of his life. "Can you handle that?!"
"Will it hurt doctor?!" both of his lips formed a smirk upon his face.
I laughed a little. "No ofcourse not, I'll be gentle"
"Will you tell me where we are going?!"
"I need you to tell me actually. Where was your favourite outdoor place with her?!"
"Demi.."
"I'm serious"
"There's one place but I don't want to go there"
"Why not?!"
"Because it's full of memories"
"Good memories?!"
"Yeah.."
"That's the whole purpose, process of it to remember all the good things and not let all the bad over shadow them"
"It's a nice thought but I'm not going there"
I sighed in fustration knowing once he had his mind set on something there wasn't really a way to talk him out of it. "You can't avoid that place for the rest of your life"
"You never know"
"Alex please.."
"Don't ask that from me"
"I'll be right there with you and if you think it's to much after trying it we'll leave right away"
"no, I told you what I wanted to do"
"And doing cocaine isn't going to solve anything" I knew that from previous experience, It's an addicting drug. One which I found myself doing a lot, I couldn't go past an hour with out coke. It was fun at first but when you find yourself doing it alone you reach a point of knowing when the fun needs to end and I don't want the person I love to find himself in that same position. "You don't need another addiction to add onto the rest of them"
"I wont get addicted because of one line" He sat up and shrugged his shoulders.
"You never know"
"I'm willing to gamble"
"Yeah I bet you are"
"You see, you know everything"
Them words that just left his lips couldn't have been any more sarcastic, It was annoying when he did that but it was dealable. I moved the covers and got out of bed sitting on the edge to put my shoes on. "Get up, Come on" I stood up and grabbed my coat.
"Fine" He mumbled and stood up fumbling around to find his keys.
"I need to go home first"
"I'll drive you there" He grabbed his keys and we made our way down stairs and out to the car. The air was cold, I shivered and zipped my coat got into the car. He coughed and got in starting the ignition and began to drive.
"Smokers cough" I smirked and rest my hand on his knee, rubbing at it gently.
"That and the fact I'm sick" his hand took place on mine
"well maybe it would have went by now if you had correct meds"
"I do have meds"
"Well they aren't working very well"
"Not at all" He smirked as I intwerwined my fingers with his and played with them between mine.
"I'm not kissing you until you're better" I smiled knowing that would be such a hard thing to do his lips are irresistable.
"We'll see about that"
"Mhm we shall"
He bit his lower lip and parked the car outside my place "I believe this is your stop"
"Well done smarty" I smirked and pulled my hand away. "I'll just be a couple of minutes" I opened the door and got out the car, and ran up the front steps to my place. Opening the door I made my way inside and searched around for my bag.
Alex's Pov:
I sat back in my seat and took a fag from my pocket, lighting it between my lips and inhaling the smoke. Glancing out the window I saw Demi making her way back to the car. She opened the door and got back in. "You're fast" I blew the smoke in her direction.
"I had it already sorted I just needed to grab it" she coughed on the smoke and rolled down the window.
"where to?"
"hmm"
I tapped the steering wheel with my fingers knowing we were going to be here a while waiting for her to make up her mind.
"I really didn't think"
"So what's the bag for?"
"Ssshh let me think"
"fine" I raised my eyebrow and inhaled more smoke.
"The smoke is affecting my brain"
"Oh excuse me I thought I look like I don't care about that?" I laughed knowing she hated when I smoked around her, I probably just started doing it on purpose to annoy her.
"You want me to get cancer and die hm"
"no" I blew a large amount of smoke out over her direction.
She leaned her head out the window to get some fresh air. "No I wont kiss you now and fuck you later, so stop blowing smoke at me"
"smoke didn't stop you before"
"I became a nun and you became sick so now it's different"
"I'm not so sure"
"I am" She took deep fast breaths, sounding like she was having some kind of panick attack.
"What's with you"
"Dying of smoke"
"You're to sensitive, did you know that?" I rolled down my window and threw the fag out.
"I think you may have said so before"
"I might have"
"You def have, now drive"
"Where too?" I started the car
"The ocean"
"Ocean it is" I pulled out of the driveway and began to drive. 15 minutes passed of sitting in silence just exchanging glances at one another, The view of the ocean appeared. Parking up the car by the sand we both got out.
"Are you ready?"
"Born ready"
"Come on then" Her hand reached out and filled the space in mine. Holding her hand we walked down to onto the sand standing infront of the calm ocean.
"Are you okay with this?"
"As much as I can be" I moved my arm around her and pulled her closer to me.
"if you don't want to we go home you know that"
"If you say that one more time, I will personally throw you in the ocean"
"Don't It's cold" She laughed a little.
"So?" I smirked and rubbed her arm
"You really do want me to get sick or die"
"You got me" I looked out to the water and the small waves crashing against the shore.
Demi's Pov:
"Asshole" I let go of his hand and took a balloon from my bag. "Hold it" I passed the string into Alex's hand.
"Drama queen" I smirked and held the balloon. "Why am I holding this?"
"Because you're gonna say what you really feel right now" I moved behind him slightly and placed both my hands on either sides of his waist.
"And the balloon is here to hear me out?"
"Alex be serious, no once you've got it of your mind you let it go"
"K Demi is sexy, Can I let it go now?"
"No you know what I meant"
"I don't want to say anything" he looked back at me then reverted his eyes back on the balloon.
"why don't you"
"It's not needed"
"Are you angry"
"I am"
"Yeah, why?"
"Because he's alive,breathing"
"Yeah what else"
"Because I miss her"
"Because she left you?"
"Because he took her away"
"You're upset and hurt because of that?"
"I'm angry"
"Nothing else just anger.. C'mon Alex you're obviously hurt over it too"
"It doesn't matter does it, Why talk about something that has happened so many years ago?!"
"It does matter because you need to admit it to yourself you're not over what happened no matter how much you try to hide it. Missing your mom doesn't make you any less of a man"
"I know that I'm not over,I'll be over when someone kills that bastard,if I'm lucky that will be me"
"Is that what she'd want you to do"
"No" he shook his head. "but I can't do or think about anything else when I think of this day"
"Well why don't you think about your mom instead all the good memories y'all had.. Instead of looking for revenge you have 364 other days to think of that"
He said nothing and just stared out to the ocean.
"You're doing good" I whispered.
"This is useless Demi"
"Are you atleast thinking about it"
"I am"
"Then that's the whole purpose of it.. What you thinking about then"
"How I'm not what she wanted me to be"
"What did she want you to be"
"Good person,she wanted me to proceed as an athlete,because I fancied playing football when I was little and she most certainly didn't want me to keep getting into troubles.I remember her saying that I'm somehow a magnet for trouble" He shrugged.
"You can still be those things for her.. Just because you've made bad choices in the past doesn't mean that can't be your future"
"Who are we kidding" A fake smile formed upon his face.
"If she didn't think you couldn't do then she wouldn't have wanted that for you"
"It's to late"
"It's never to late.. She believes you can, I do too.. You need to"
"maybe one day but right now I can't imagine that happening"
"But at least you're thinking about that too" I smiled
"Yeah"
"Anything else you wanna say like your favourite memory or"
He shook his head.
"You have the chance to Alex are you sure"
"I'm sure Demi" He sighed.
"Then let go when you want too"
He looked at the balloon and then up at the sky. I wrapped my arm around him and held him close by his waist, cuddling into the side and watching the balloon. His arm took place around my shoulders as he let go of it. "I'm so proud of you"
"Thanks" He glanced at me and kissed my forhead.
I took two flowers from my bag. "I remember seeing last year how you said these were her favourites so these are for you"
"how about we throw them in the ocean for her?"
"sounds like a good idea"
He took one from my hands stepped closer to the ocean and tossed the flower into the water allowing the waves to carry it away. "farewell mom"
"Sleep tight mrs jones" I smiled and threw the other into the water.