"To love at all is to be vulnerable." - C.S. Lewis
"You're a fucking dumbass, Evans."
Lily Evans turned to see James Potter leaning with his arms cross over his chest beside the giant, golden bird that served as her exit from Professor Dumbledore's office. She did her best not to stare, but James Potter had grown into a rather handsome man. His messy, black hair paired with his hazel eyes and smug smile, it made it rather hard not to stare. She found it annoying, really.
"And how's that, Potter?" She questioned amused, not willing to apologize for her earlier behavior. Severus Snape had it coming, she thought to herself bitterly.
He pushed himself from the wall and took a step towards her. "You attacked a student right in front of the teachers."
Lily shrugged. "Serves them right. Honestly, Severus is lucky I didn't punch him before today. He had it coming. You know it, and I know it."
"And, being Head Girl?" James was baffled that Lily Evans wasn't appalled at her behavior. Yes, she was no goody goody, but she took her responsibilities very seriously.
Lily snorted with another smile. "If anything, I've made the student body more fearful of me. Gotta whip those prefects into shape, ya know?
James took another step towards her. Lily's eyes widened, taking in the proximity of their faces. "And what if you had been hurt?" He whispered. The thought of her being injured was enough to send a shudder rippling down his spine.
She licked her chapped lips. "Give me more credit than that."
"Do you think I could have handled it?" He whispered, staring intently into her green eyes, that in this moment seemed to be endless.
"Why wouldn't you?" She glanced for the briefest moment at his pink lips.
That's when it happened. James Potter leaned forward, putting both of his hands on either side of the girl's face, and placed his lips on hers. He wasn't aware of how long he had wanted to kiss her, until she placed her arms around his waist and kissed him back.
An explosion of colors happened against the black backdrop of Lily's eyelids. It was a mess of images and colors inside her mind making her feel things that she had never felt before. It was as if she could see some point to all of this– the hurting and the wanting and the pain and the war and the confusion. There was some glimpse of her forever in that red and gold kaleidoscopic palette happening in her vision.
They stayed that way for awhile; how long- neither of them could say. Between Lily's frantic heartbeat and James' roaming hands, they were both lost in the other. When they finally pulled apart, they both had bleary eyes, dazed by kissing the other.
"We have a test soon," Lily said. She internally groaned, as that is not the kind of thing you say after kissing the boy you like. I am a fucking dumbass, she thought to herself.
James laughed. "Yes," he said, reaching out to hold the tips of her fingers. "But, before I can worry about that, I wanted to ask you to go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?"
Lily's smile looked as if it could split her face. "I would like that."
James mirrored her grin, feeling as if his heart may leap straight through the bounds of his ribs. "You like me, Lily Evans," he said lightly joking.
She glared at him playfully. "What gave me away?"
"Oh, I dunno, something along these lines." He lowered his lips to hers again, eager to kiss her for the second time. Kissing her was like nothing he had experienced before. He had kissed his fair share of girls–and Sirius once on a dare–but nothing had ever made him feel this way. He knew then and there that he would never be able to kiss anyone ever again because it wouldn't be the same. It wouldn't be this.
She smiled against his lips and reluctantly pulled away, as she enjoyed kissing him just as much as he enjoyed kissing her. "We do have class to get to, you know?"
He groaned, running his fingers anxiously through his hair. "Fine, fine."
"Besides," she winked at him, reaching for his hand. "What would people say if they saw the Head Boy and Head Girl snogging? What a scandal." She mocked horror.
He snorted, doing his best to mask at his excitement over the feeling of her hand in his own. "Yeah, yeah. I just have one more question."
"Hmm?" She hummed, pulling the strap of her bag further up her shoulder.
"Is it too early to ask you to be my girlfriend?" He wouldn't meet her eyes, still fearful of her rejection.
He had no way of knowing that Lily's heart was soaring with the words. "I don't think so," she answered evenly.
"Okay, then," he responded, doing his best not to smile like a lunatic. "Lily, will you be my girlfriend?"
"Yes," she answered. "I will."
"Really?"
Lily let out a laugh. "Why do you sound surprised?"
He shrugged, unable to hide his grin. "I dunno," he said. "I thought I was just a toe rag that Lily Evans hated."
"We've been best friends for over a year," she responded with a narrowing of her eyes. "You could not possibly still think that."
"Well," James said with sly smile. "I am James, and you're Lily. You told me you'd never go out with me."
Lily rolled her eyes, but she was unable to hide her smile. "Bite me, Potter."
"Maybe later, Evans," he winked. She narrowed her eyes again.
James took her hand, and they proceeded to their respective classes, neither able to pay attention to a word their professors were saying. When they arrived at lunch, the other five immediately knew something was up. James and Lily both had the same air about them–stupid, giddy grins, a gleam in their eyes, and an energy radiating off of them that left them arching onto the balls of their feet.
"Shut the fuck up," Sirius proclaimed.
"Um," James said, lowering himself to a seat across from his best friend. "We didn't say anything?"
"You two hooked up."
Lily rolled her eyes. "We kissed, Sirius, calm down." Sirius made a noise that sounded strangely like squealing.
"And, she agreed to be my girlfriend," James interjected so quickly the others barely caught his words.
Marlene's jaw dropped, but she quickly recovered. "About damn time."
They all took turns making comments, and Sirius very simply lifted his middle finger at James, stating something about not being the first to know (finding out when everyone else found out did not count, apparently). James finally turned to face the person he was dreading to look in the eye.
Charlotte Riggs was staring at James with a smug grin. She was taking her time sipping her pumpkin juice, never taking her eyes from the raven headed boy. He finally turned to meet her ocean eyes, fearful of whatever comments she had waiting, and she raised her eyebrows at him suggestively.
He sighed. "Go on."
She pushed her hair back and cupped her ear, still smiling like a banshee. "I'm waiting."
"For?" He sighed.
"A thank you."
He shook his head. "Never."
She snorted. "Fine," she stated. "I'll settle for telling you I told you so."
"Go to hell, Riggs," he said, unable to hide his grin.
Charlie quirked an eyebrow. "You riding, shot gun?"
"Fuck off," James snorted.
"Nah," Charlie remarked. "I'm having too much fun."
Sirius saluted with two fingers. "I'll go, Charlie."
James rolled his eyes and looked away; Lily made eye contact with her friend and mouthed thank you. Charlie smiled at her. The girl could feel a small twinge in the pit of her abdomen, but she did her best not to dwell on it. She had broken up with James for this very reason, and it had worked. If they were were happy, she would be happy too.
And, they were happy. On the Saturday that followed, James took Lily on their first date to Hogsmeade. They got sweets at Lily's favorite shop and walked around in the chilly air sipping hot chocolate and eating treats. They met up with the other five of their group towards the end of the trip, getting butterbeers at The Three Broomsticks.
It was obvious to all five, and frankly, anybody that was paying the slightest bit of attention, that Lily and James were made for each other. Even Severus Snape had passed them in the streets, they were so enthralled with whatever they were discussing they didn't even see him; Snape was so taken aback by the laughing and James sneaking kisses to Lily's cheeks, that he said nothing. It was undeniable that he felt a burning rage coursing through his veins, but even he could see something between the two of them. It caused his insides to turn to mush.
"So," Sirius sipped his butterbeer, leaving a mustache of white foam on his upper lip. "How's your date?"
Marlene snorted before wiping his face with her sleeve and giving his face a light shove. "Dork," she muttered.
James laughed. "Good," he said, before shifting his eyes to Lily. "Right?"
Now Lily laughed. "Yes, you idiot, it's good."
"Ya see that," James nudged Remus with his elbow. "She said 'it's good.'"
Remus gave him a grin and a quirked eyebrow over his warm drink. "She also called you an idiot."
"She's always done that," James shrugged.
Peter snorted, going for another sip of his butterbeer. They fell into an easy conversation after that, discussing classes and N.E.W.T.s and relationships and rumors. After their time in the small shop, Marlene, Sirius, James, and Lily left to head back to the castle; Remus and Charlie were ready to go as well, but Peter insisted they swing by Zonko's.
Remus and Charlie waiting outside in the crisp air as Peter perused the aisles inside that overflowed with items that belonged to tricksters. Charlie remained silent as she took long drags from a much needed cigarette; Remus studied her with inquisitive brown eyes.
"You're staring," Charlie accused, still staring forward.
"I want to ask you something," Remus said with a purse of his lips.
"So, ask."
Remus sighed. "Let me rephrase," he said. "I want to ask you something without you getting defensive."
She blew a puff of smoke. "I never get defensive."
He rolled his head to give her a stare, arching his eyebrow. "She said defensively."
She groaned. "Point taken. Ask away."
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah," she said slowly, dragging out the word. "Why?"
"James and Lily."
Charlie swallowed for her throat had suddenly become sandpaper. She delayed her answer by tapping her long index finger against the cigarette, watching the ashes fall. "I'm fine, Remus."
"Charlie," he said in a tone that was almost a warning.
"Remus, please, don't," she said more gently than he knew she was capable of.
"Do you still love him?"
Her eyes flashed, and she glared at him. "Remus," she said through her teeth.
"Is that a yes?" He stared at her, eyes unwavering.
She exhaled, surrounding them in a cloud of smoke. "No," she admitted icily, knowing she could never hide from Remus Lupin. "I just got very...attached. I had never felt that way about a guy, and I was definitely in love with him when we broke up, which made it harder to move on. And, them being together proves I was right...I was second best. I can't lie and say it doesn't sting."
Remus felt his heart shatter a little bit for his friend. "You know he cared about you, right?" Remus prodded softly. "Him getting over you was one of the hardest things he's ever done. He was devastated."
She let out a small, humorless laugh. "What's wrong with me, Remus?"
"Nothing," Remus answered seriously. "You're great."
"Enough about my love life, or lack there of," she said, putting out her cigarette against the building. "What about you? You seeing anybody?"
Remus shook his head, not happy with the change of subject. "Nah."
"What happened to that Ravenclaw from last year?"
Remus shrugged. "Eh, nothing special. Besides, who would want to date a werewolf?"
"Hey," Charlie chided sharply. "Stop that. You're a goddamn catch."
He snorted as Peter arrived with an armful of treasures. "Ready?" He asked, eyes shining with his latest endeavors.
"Yeah," Charlie nodded, ending her's and Remus' conversation. "Let's go." They walked back to their school, teenage relationship problems forgotten.