whoops this was something haha :0
<3
Jimin woke up in a somewhat odd predicament. The room was still dark when he'd first opened his eyes, leaving him with no sense of time whatsoever.
A warm body was draped over his chest— it was Yoongi, of course, Jimin thought, smiling softly to himself as the boy shifted in his sleep.
Yoongi's face was now pressed into his neck, his warm breaths tickling his skin in a way that made Jimin shiver. They were in a quite compromising position, Yoongi's leg slotted between his own. Jimin debated between leaving Yoongi be, not wanting to disturb his sleep, but at the same time . . .
"Yoongi baby, wake up," he murmured, gently shaking the boy awake, watching as his eyes opened.
Yoongi let out a quiet noise, snuggling closer into the younger's warm body. "W-what time is it?"
Jimin's breath hitched, feeling Yoongi's leg unconsciously press further between his own. "Not sure, j-just—your leg is—"
"Oh," Yoongi squeaked, cheeks reddening with embarrassment as he scrambled off of Jimin, nearly falling off the bed in the process. He was definitely wide awake now.
"It's okay," Jimin laughed nervously. "It's just—"
Reaching over to turn the lamp on, Yoongi looked at Jimin, his eyes wide, face flushed. His hair was tousled and messy from sleep, and Jimin couldn't help but notice the cute way his hair fell into his eyes. "You're hard," Yoongi mumbled, curling into Jimin, hiding his face in the younger's neck.
"I-I am," Jimin said. He hesitated before giving Yoongi a shaky smile, shifting off of the bed. "I can deal with it myself if you don't—"
"I-I want to," Yoongi breathed, internally cringing at the way his voice shook. "Let's— let's have sex."
"You do? R-right now?"
He nodded, taking his boyfriend's hand and pulling him back onto the bed. Jimin gave the older a reassuring smile before lifting him into his lap. "Eomma's sleeping."
"W-we'll just have to be quiet."
"Are you nervous?"
Yoongi whined lowly, his lips set in a pout. "I can't help it." He wasn't just nervous, he was positively terrified.
"You're absolutely sure you're okay with this?" Jimin asked. "Do you need a s-safe word or something?"
"Shut up," Yoongi huffed, pulling Jimin into a bruising kiss. He could feel his heart pound nervously as Jimin squeezed his bare thighs.
"Don't tell me what to do, baby, you'll regret it," Jimin growled, his fingers running along the hem of Yoongi's thin shirt. "You don't need this, do you?"
The older let out a gasp as his upper body was exposed, the soft shirt thrown carelessly to the floor. "You're beautiful, Yoongi," Jimin whispered, meeting Yoongi's lips again passionately. "So, so beautiful."
Yoongi looked at his boyfriend and the loving look in his eyes, suddenly so much more scared.
They'd been together for months, yet haven't had sex. He was still nervous about showing Jimin his body, knowing that there was that tiny part of him that thought that he wasn't good enough for Jimin.
"I— um, can I take off your shirt?" Yoongi said, voice trembling slightly. With a nod, Jimin guided Yoongi's shaky hands to the hem of his own shirt. He felt his eyes water as he pulled it over the younger's head.
"Yoongs?"
"Y-yeah?"
"You're crying, baby."
Yoongi choked on a sob. "O-oh. I'm sorry."
Sighing, Jimin picked up his shirt from the bed. "I— I don't think we should do this right now."
Letting out a whimper, Yoongi put his face in his hands. "I didn't m-mean to, I just— I'm sorry!"
"No, Yoongi—"
Grabbing his shirt, Yoongi quickly got off of the bed and fled to the bathroom, locking the door behind him, wincing at how loudly it slammed shut. He tugged it on, feeling uncomfortably bare without it.
He felt like such a disappointment. There weren't any words to describe how absolutely worthless Yoongi felt. He trusted Jimin with his life, with his feelings, with everything.
So why was this so hard for him?
Yoongi let out another silent sob, sitting there on the bathroom floor with his head in his hands. Jimin was probably fed up by now with his childish behavior. The worst part was the fact that Yoongi himself was the one to suggest having sex, yet there he was, crying like a baby in Jimin's bathroom.
"Yoongi?"
He held his breath, scared. Scared that he'd messed up. Scared that Jimin would leave him.
"Can we just talk? P-please, don't hide from me." He heard Jimin sniffle on the other side of the door. He was crying. "I'm sorry, Yoon, I never meant to-- to make you feel uncomfortable or s-scared. I'd-- I would never hurt you, Yoongi. Never. Y-you know that, right?"
Yoongi couldn't reply, no matter how much he wanted to open the door and wipe Jimin's tears away, the tears that he'd caused. He hated himself, in that moment, for making Jimin doubt himself, for causing him pain. He just wanted to sleep and forget everything that had happened.
"Y-Yoongi?"
Yoongi hugged his knees to his chest as he cried, his eyes squeezed shut. He hated this feeling. The feeling where everything around him seemed to be falling apart because of him and his actions. There really was no way for him to get past his insecurities, no matter how hard he tried.
"I-- I'm going to be in bed, o-okay?" Yoongi heard the younger mumble. "I'll, um, give you some space."
It wasn't long before he ran out of tears, settling on staring at the different colored speckles decorating the tile of the bathroom floor until he drifted off to sleep.
<3
Yoongi woke up in Jimin's bed, his face pressed against Jimin's shoulder. Deciding not to think about how he'd gotten from the bathroom to the bed, he instead dragged himself out of sleep with a quiet sigh. His eyes were puffy and he felt absolutely horrible. It was definitely bright enough for Yoongi not to be surprised if Jiyeon wasn't home.
He washed his face, stepping in front of the mirror to stare at his reflection for a bit. The longer he looked, the more resigned he felt. He took a few steps back until he was almost flush with the wall, turning sideways and lifting up his shirt, staring at his tummy through the mirror. It was flat but still soft and squishy as he dragged one hand over the soft skin. Yoongi's face scrunched up in disgust, dropping the hem of his shirt quickly. He needed to be better.
He made breakfast for them both, seeing the note on the counter, informing them that Jiyeon had gone out and would be back only after noon-- so they would have the house to themselves, Jiyeon wrote, drawing a small winky face after the message.
Not long after Yoongi's waffles had been made, Jimin walked into the kitchen.
"Morning, Yoongs. Did you sleep okay?"
Yoongi let out a soft 'yeah', sliding a plate of waffles over to him, not looking him in the eye. He already felt like crying again.
"Thank you," Jimin murmured, taking a bite of waffle.
They didn't talk much after that, Yoongi slipping quietly into Jimin's bedroom, curled up on the bed with his phone to distract him. Jimin left him alone to give him some space, even though all he really wanted was his boyfriend in his arms again.
He didn't care to admit the fact that he might've cried again when Yoongi wasn't around, hugging one of the many throw pillows on the couch as he did so. Or when Yoongi came out around noon, mumbling, "I'm not going to eat, but I can make you something if you want?" and Jimin managed to choke out, "N-not hungry," before locking himself into the bathroom near the kitchen to cry for at least a solid ten minutes.
Jimin hated getting into fights with Yoongi. Even before they'd gotten together, the two of them very rarely fought, and when they did, it ended within a matter of minutes, resulting in hugs, maybe some tears, cuddles and smiles.
Not like this.
<3
haha so that was interesting
i haven't updated in a while
i'm currently attempting to go on a social media break so even though wattpad wasn't included (bc you know i can't live w/o being on wattpad all the time), i had a bit of trouble trying to write this chapter (like finding the time to do so, as well as that special wRiTinG mOoD lmao)
so for the qotd: what was your last meal?
i had indian food for lunch but i skipped dinner (skipping as usual again lol)
lmk how you liked this chapter :P
bye bye and thanks for reading <3