Every day, they practiced combat moves and training techniques, before they began to once again travel in the direction of the star. There were days she would be told to hang from a tree and practice the same moves that Alek had originally taught her, while other days she would learn different hand to hand combat techniques that allowed her to use different parts of her body to attack, such as her elbow, open palms, and knees. She learned how to choke someone, crushing their Adam's apple in the process, and how when her enemy is on the ground, she could axe stomp them in the face or throat, using her heel to ensure more force. At first, she was slow and clumsy, but the more she practiced the better she became, and at an accelerating speed. It was shocking how quickly she learned. The worm she swallowed truly did help.
Sagan didn't stop at combat training. During workouts, he targeted specific muscles in her mid to lower body to help increase her vertical jump. He taught her how to do a backflip, explaining the technique he used. He taught her how to slide on the ground while pulling out her knife and what to do if she lost or broke her weapon. By the end of the week, she was faster and jumped higher than she could have ever imagined.
"You still have a long way to go," Sagan said as they walked alongside the river. "But I am proud of how far you've come."
They were now in an area that was coated in grass and speckled with beryl colored bushes and viridescent trees. The river was no longer a crystal blue color but had now become more of a rusty shade, moving slowly towards the distant mountains.
This area was teeming with life. There were strange insects with long tongues and eight clear wings that flew between pink puffy flowers. Furry mammals the size of her foot with two heads would often be seen laying in the middle of field, seemingly enjoying the sunlight. Massive featherless birds with clear skin and a wingspan the size of a small plane made their way towards the mountains in flocks of five or more. No animal around them seemed to notice their presence and on the rare occasion that they looked in their direction, they would always notice Elde who walked by Astra's side, and then continue doing whatever they were doing.
Astra stopped in her tracks as she saw a figure moving towards them from a distance. Her skin crawled as she recognized the familiar shape of the man she had hoped she would never see again. Why did he come back? She had hoped he had gone back to the cave or better yet, had been eaten by a hungry predator.
As Alek came closer, Astra noticed how unkept he looked. His dark hair twisted and turned in every direction. His fingernails were caked with dirt as were the lines around his face. He looked as if he'd aged ten years and she wasn't sure it was just because of the facial hair that crawled up the sides of his cheeks and puffed out like a dirty cloud, or that he looked like he hadn't eaten since he left the camp.
"I figured you went back to the cave," Sagan said as he crossed his arms. "You look like shit."
Alek lowered his head, refusing to say a word. Finally, his flaking lips split open.
"Can I speak with Astra alone?"
Sagan's eyes burrowed into Alek. "No."
"I don't feel comfortable being alone with you," she said, touching the weapon in her pocket.
"I don't blame you," Alek's voice trailed off. "I just... I don't even know where to start..."
Sagan tapped his fingers on his thick forearms. "Well I have an idea. How about you say, 'Hey, I'm sorry for treating you like an object created to pleasure me and someone that I can verbally and sexually assault."
"I am so ashamed. I feel horrible for what I did."
"You should."
"Nothing will ever make up for what I did, and I don't expect you to ever forgive me. I don't know what happened to me. I've lost myself being here. I've lost a piece of who I was and though I thought the only threat were the monsters outside, I didn't realize that I was becoming one of them."
Astra glared at Alek. "No, you are worse. The ones who have attacked us have done so because they think we are the evil ones. I don't blame them, when people like you exist."
"She has a point. So how do we know that you are safe to be around her? How do I know that if you come back here, you won't do something worse to her?"
"You don't know. But I do. I swear on my family's life that I will never do that again. I want to go home too. I need to go home. This place is changing me into someone I don't want to be. I hate myself for what I did, and my family would be ashamed of me." Alek turned to Astra. His muscles sank on his face. He was only able to look at her momentarily before staring back at the ground. "You were innocent in all of this and I just took advantage of you. I wronged you to a depth that is inexcusable."
"What you did was unforgivable."
"I know. I can't undo it. I wish I could, but I can't."
"You are not welcome here, if Astra says that you are not. We will leave you behind on this planet to rot if she gives the word. I know we have history, but you are not the man I used to know. The man I knew back on Earth respected women. The man I knew never even raised his voice to a woman because his mom taught him better than that and if this is the man you have decided to become, the world would be better without you." Sagan turned to Astra and put his hand on her shoulder. "What are your thoughts?"
She looked towards her assaulter. She hated him. She hated every part of him and Sagan was right, and in her mind, the world would be a better place without him in it. His eyes still stared at the ground as his shoulders sank even further.
Alek shook his head and turned around. It was clear to her that not even Alek felt like he deserved to come back.
No matter how much she hated him and how much she wanted him to die, she couldn't be the reason that he wasn't able to get back to his family. He was an awful human being for what he did, and she would never forgive him for his wrongdoings, but she decided that she would give this bastard one more chance to redeem himself.
"You look hungry and we have dried meat." She touched her hollow chest. She almost hated herself for doing this. "This doesn't mean I forgive you. I will never forgive you for what you did to me, but I will at least give you one more chance to help me find Vojin. If you even so dare look at me wrong, Elde will be the one to take care of you and I promise you that he won't make your death quick."
Elde nodded his head and stepped towards Alek. The beast's lips curled into a smile, showing the edges of his razorblade teeth.
It had been a few days since Alek had returned and he seemed more like a shadow than a person in the group. Even though he was distant, she couldn't stand being around him and hoped the day would come soon when she finally was able to find Vojin. He would know what to do. Perhaps he could find a separate way home for that man so that she wouldn't have to see him everyday. She felt like she was living in a nightmare even looking at his face. Why did she show him mercy? Why couldn't she just tell him to go die somewhere?
It just wasn't in her to be that kind of a person. She promised to give him one more chance and so far, he had proven that he was taking that chance seriously.
Astra trained with Sagan every day, strengthening her muscles and learning new techniques, while Alek prepared food and made stronger weapons. He didn't talk much anymore and seemed to be more of a loner, ostracizing himself, which was something she was thankful for. Even when they began their trek each day, he would normally stay several feet behind.
They were finally getting closer to the dark mountains. They seemed so much bigger now than they did before. The sides were steep with ridged edges that looked like it had been carved out by giants. There was no way they could climb over the mountains without ropes and proper gear. She knew they would have to find paths between them and hoped she wouldn't lose sight of the star.
The land she stood on was mostly flat with the occasional tree or bush. It was strange to see such an even terrain contrasting against a line of mountains. They probably had a day or two before they reached them and by the looks of it, when they did arrive, it wasn't going to be an easy trek.
Today they had decided to spar in the evening instead of in the beginning of the day. Sagan had remembered a rocky enclosure only a half a day's walk away and he wanted to get to it before nightfall so they would have a safe place to rest for the night.
They finally found this illusive enclosure he spoke of. It looked almost like a primitive home, made of gray sparkling stones and a very large stone over the top of it, which created a solid roof. It was the height of a two-story house but three times as deep as a typical home. It had a tall, doorless entryway barely wide enough to fit a human and no windows. Because of this, a very begrudged Elde had to stay outside while the rest went inside to check it out.
The inside was empty but cluttered with stones that were about the size of a football. Small glowing flowers grew between the cracks of the rocks, creating a beautiful pattern throughout the shelter and illuminating the home. Their six curled petals softly glowed a ghostly white, illuminating the area with dim light. It was colder in this enclosure than it was outside and outside it was already as cold as winter felt down in Tennessee.
"I'll gather some wood," Alek grunted before walking out of the home.
"Let's go spar for a bit," Sagan said as he dropped his satchel on the ground and walked outside.
They warmed up for about half an hour before beginning to spar. In the far distance, an army of onyx clouds puffed out their chests as they marched across the sky, draining the color from anything their shadow crossed. Nature itself grew silent as it waited for the growl of thunder that would be sure to be heard once the clouds closed in.
Astra had become numb to her bruises and aching muscles. A cut on her arm felt more like a minor inconvenience. Though she realized she was far from being as ready as she hoped she would be, she knew she was at least more ready for this world than she was when she first arrived. She hoped that if a predator were to come, that she could hold her own.
"You ready to fight?" Sagan asked, raising his fists and punching the air.
"I dunno," she replied with her head held high. "Are you ready to lose?"
Balling up her fists, she nodded her head and assumed her fighting stance. Though it was cold outside, she had to remove her jacket after her warm up because she was becoming too warm. A small droplet of salty sweat rolled down her cheek as she waited for Sagan's first move.
She glanced at the clouds that appeared to be closing in behind the mountains. Would it rain soon? She wasn't sure if the storm was approaching them, but she could tell that it was building, and it had a strange shade of lavender to the edges of the clouds. It reminded her of the way the sky looked when she first got to Pannotia.
Sagan swayed from side to side before thrusting his balled-up fist towards her face. He chose to do a bold and direct approach to his attack which she had anticipated. It was his style. She ducked, feeling the breeze of his arm over the hairs on her head. Swinging her fist towards his midsection, he lifted his large muscular leg and easily blocked her from impact by kicking his leg into her diaphragm and throwing her in the opposite direction.
Astra lunged towards him, not allowing herself to be slowed, despite her lungs aching within her chest. She twisted, barely missing his punch before slamming into the side of his head with her knuckles. She rolled back before once again lunging towards Sagan to get in another hit. He saw her move coming and blocked her fist, easily moving away from her assault.
He left his side open. Bad decision. With a quick twist of her body, she swung her knee as hard as she could, slamming it into the side of his ribs and knocking the wind from his lungs. He bent over as he lifted his hand.
She stopped. He heaved for a breath of air. Yes, she felt ready to take on this world. Raising up, Sagan placed his hands on the back of his head and breathed in deeply through his nose.
"You've gotten good," he said to her between breaths. "Far better than even I realized. You want to move onto a knife attack?"
"Are you sure you want to lose again?" she sneered playfully.
"Be careful, you might just be the one to taste sweet defeat," he responded with a chuckle.
Sagan smiled and removed two knives from his brown satchel and tossed one to Astra. He then flipped his weapon in the air, swung around, and caught it by the handle.
"Show off."
She lunged towards Sagan with a knife in hand and advanced her attack which she quickly realized was the wrong move to make. He leaped over her head, twisted around, and smashed his foot into her back. She slammed into the sharp bark of a nearby tree, instantly shaving cuts into her left cheek. Her face felt hot as she swung around and pulled a piece of wood out of her skin. Warm blood crawled down her neck, soaking her shirt with a shade of bright crimson. Blinking away the blur from her eyes, she closed her mouth and felt air rush out from a hole that was torn into her cheek. Though she wanted to stop, she knew she needed to train her body to keep going, despite injury. Had he been a threat, she needed to know no matter what, she could still fight him without backing down.
"Are you ok?" Sagan asked between heaving breaths. "You're hurt!"
"Not as hurt as you will be!" She pushed aside the throbbing pain that radiated down her jaw, and got into a defensive stance. Though her head felt light and nausea curled through her, she couldn't allow this to slow her down. If she were attacked, her attacker would not show mercy if she was hurt. They would use it to their advantage.
Sagan's eyes grew wide. "Um... are you sure you want to continue? We can go back and put something on your cheek. It looks kind of bad."
"No! I'm fine." She tensed her jaw, feeling the air once again rush through her cheek. Her head spun as she glared at Sagan. She needed to keep going. She had to prove to herself she wasn't the weakest link and would not be a burden.
She lunged towards him but suddenly bent back. Sagan's sharp knife barely missed her throat. She crouched her body low, twisting her leg around before she knocked his feet from underneath him. He slammed onto the ground and burst out laughing as she quickly climbed on top of him with her knife pressed against his esophagus.
"I beat you," she gasped, not even believing herself. "I beat you."
This was the moment she needed. Though it was a quickly ending fight, she needed to know she had the strength within her to keep going. Sagan was right when he said to empty her mind and allow instincts to take over. As long as she didn't overthink during an attack, there was a possibility she might survive on this planet long enough to get home.
When Astra stood, her legs shook. Slowly she raised her hand to her cheek and felt her fingertips caress the shredded skin. Her slightly blurry vision fixated on the blades of grass she stood upon as she felt the warm feather of blood crawl down the side of her neck.
Elde walked up to her and sniffed the gash. He turned his head and sunk his teeth into his side until blood stained his white fur. Looking up at her, he snorted.
She felt the blood rush from her face as she stared at Elde. Was he serious? No. He couldn't be.
Closing her eyes tightly, she gasped and curled over as a radiating pain swept through her. Her cheek was so hot, it felt like it was touching the flames of hell.
"You have to consume some of the blood," Alek said as he walked up behind her and examined her wound. "It's too deep to just heal on the surface."
She took a step back and shook her head. Even being a few feet from him still made her stomach twist.
"Isn't there another way?" The unbearable pain radiated up to her skull. Even opening her mouth was becoming a challenge.
"Not in this case," Sagan agreed. "I can see your teeth."
She hesitantly reached towards Elde and dipped her fingers into his fresh blood. Slowly she placed her fingers up to her mouth and pushed them inside of her jaw. Though she couldn't taste the difference between his blood and hers, just the knowledge this was in her mouth made her stomach churn.
Astra felt the back of her throat quiver. Never in her life did she imagine she would do something as repulsive as this. She didn't want to think about what she was doing, but within seconds she felt a cooling sensation sweep over her wound as her flesh weaved back together. This uncomfortable sensation left as quickly as it had begun and within a moment, she was touching a fully healed cheek still wet with her own blood.
"Much better," Sagan smiled as he examined her cheek. "Bet that tasted delicious."
"Tasted better than your defeat," she retorted.
The light of the flames danced off Alek's face as his gaze burned into the fire. With a furrowed brow he sighed. His eyes lifted as he looked towards the darkness outside.
It was late at night. They had already eaten and laid out their furs to sleep on. Astra chose a spot by the wall as far away as possible from Alek. He seemed to notice and made it a point to stay on the other side of the shelter, closer to the exit.
Even with the fire, Astra could still feel the draft of icy air seeping through the cracks of the wall. She zipped up her jacket and pulled at her scarf.
A weighted silence lingered in the air while they all blankly stared in different directions. For the rest of the night, the sizzling and snapping flames were the only sounds heard through the enclosure. Finally, the men quietly went to sleep, leaving her to be the only one awake.
Her thoughts lingered on her father. She missed him so much it hurt, and the feeling of homesickness never faded, no matter how much time she spent on this planet. Her eyes burned as she stared at the flames eating away at the wood.
As time went on, the fire didn't seem to provide the kind of warmth that it once had. She bundled up in the fur and wondered why the temperature was dropping so rapidly.
Astra filled her lungs with sweet, icy oxygen and closed her eyes. She wanted this day to be over so they could once again begin their journey towards finding Vojin. Though she still held onto hope, the thought of the attack between Prosperine and him constantly prodded her. What if Prosperine had killed him? What if he was her only chance back and he was gone? What would she do?