Poems For The Paranormal

Should I Smile?

Somewhere I can write my thoughts,
Here is good I guess,
I talked to my boyfriend today,
Only over Skype though,

He was happy in the beginning of the call,
I was too,
But something changed,
It made Happy untrue,

Throughout the call, 
We talked about various things,
Some of those things were quite amorous,
Which made him quite happy,

It was a joke that he had made,
A joke that made me unwell,
It was about a four year old kid,
Who had unknowingly sold their soul to Hell,

I had a father,
He was reminiscent of the Devil,
Who had divorced my mum,
And had cheated on her as well,

From my Four year old self,
To when I was twelve,
I had been groomed you see,

It was at the age of twelve,
When my life went from bad to worse,
Even after my grandfather went away in a hearse,

I had gotten a burn from the sun,
I had a lot of fun,
It was my school's field day you see,
I had forgotten my sunscreen,
I didn't care and I was happy,
All until I went to go stay with my daddy,

He had offered to put aloe on my back,
But it had gone further than that,
He had threatened me,
I knew he would hurt me if I didn't,

I had complied all those years you see,
From four to twelve,
And three weeks after my back had healed from the burn,
The pain never actually went away,

You can numb it,
And that's what I've done,
I've even tried to make myself gone,

But now you see,
Even the thought of an innocent four year old,
It can trigger the deepest of thoughts,
And pull you into a depressed stupor,

So when people tell me,
I have the world in front of me,
And that I should smile,
Should I?