Chapter 7
Another day began with Miles throwing his controller in frustration. This typically happened whenever he lost.
"Whatever, I let you win on purpose," he grumbled.
"Sore loser."
The sound of a toilet flushing echoed through the narrow hallway, followed by the rush of running water. Dad emerged from our bathroom, his hands damp as he wiped them on his tan pants. "Hey, you two, remember Tobias, Kathy's cat?"
Our neighbor down the street Kathy had a fat cat called Tobias. Every time we crossed paths with the chubby creature, Miles couldn't resist throwing a comment its way, usually along the lines of 'that's one ugly-looking cat.' He had one eye, a pushed in nose, and his ears looked like someone chewed them up and afterward spat them out. Tobias was a far cry from the poster cat for elegance; his creamy fur was far from the glossy kind, closer in hue to that of a bleak looking classroom wall.
"The ugly one? With the messed up eye?"
Dad seemed to be struggling to contain his amusement, his lips twitching as he spoke. "Yes, that's the very one. As fate would have it, Tobias decided to venture into the wild last night."
"Gee, I wonder why." I'd run from home too if Kathy was my owner. And her crazy daughter Cherry, who never paid for anything in her life, not even her boobs.
Dad's laughter danced in his eyes, though he maintained a composed demeanor. "Believe it or not, the entire town is currently on a 'Find Tobias' mission. And, oh, by the way, if you happen to cross paths with our dear Tobias on your way to the party, make sure to give me a shout.""Will do." It shouldn't be hard to miss a hideous cat. I doubt he went far, anyway — Tobias was too fat to cross a large distance.
I looked at the clock hung on our lime green walls that I had painted. Harry's party started at nine o'clock, and I was expected to get ready and be there beforehand.
I got up from the couch and headed to my room. My walls were painted a lavender color, but the ceiling remained white. I etched a personalized message on the wall behind my bed. It was the first thing a person saw when they walked in the room. The quote was 'ars longa, vita brevis' which translated to art is long, life is short.
My canvas always faced the window. I liked to be inspired by the sky and the landscape in front of me — although there was usually nothing fascinating enough to sketch in this town. I went to my wooden closet and thumbed through items of clothing. I didn't own a single dress, other than a green one with lacy sleeves that Mom had given me. I wore it on my first date with Harry which was to a McDonald's out of town. It would be an understatement to say I was overdressed for the occasion. I remember just being so ecstatic that someone as popular as Harry gave me the time of day, even though looking back now, he spent more time admiring his burger than me.
In a quick decision, I opted for a red flannel shirt and sneakers, taming my unruly hair. The decision to straighten my usually rebellious curls seemed fitting for the day.
Stepping outside, a cool breeze carried the fragrance of freshness. Riding my faithful, rusty yellow bicycle through town, I reached the field where Harry's party awaited.
Among his friends, Bones was the first to notice me. "Blondie." His cigarette dangled from his lips.
Harry looked over his shoulder and saw me. He was dressed in a white polo shirt and denim jeans. I waddled over to him and he welcomed me with a smacking kiss on the forehead. I stayed huddled to his side, with my head resting on his chest. I had the height of an elf. Harry kept an arm wrapped around my waist, and he seemed to be over the whole ordeal that happened a few days ago. That was a typical occurrence with Harry — he was the one who called the shots and decided when we should start talking again.
I never had a say in such matters.
* * *
Stars filled the sky like small specks of snow.
Holly Dae poured me a drink and mouthed along to the song playing. As usual, she was wearing a short skirt. She always wore skirts, something about it accentuating her long legs. It was, in her opinion, her best asset and, in my opinion, I disagreed.
"Bottoms up!" Holly Dae announced with an exuberant toss of her head, promptly downing her drink in one enthusiastic gulp, as did Nik. In order to avoid seeming like an outsider, I mirrored their actions, raising the glass to my lips. I wanted to stay sober for a certain someone...
A certain someone who had just arrived at the scene. Well, more like skated his way to the scene. He pushed the tousled waves of hair away from his eyes and got off his skateboard. He kept one foot on it as he glanced around. I could see him regretting his decision.
His intimidating height was the most noticeable thing about him, then there's his piercing eyes, and his sunken in cheekbones that gave him a sort of skeletal look. He had a rugged look to him all over. His hair was disheveled, slick and glossy, but softly wavy.
His gaze snapped to mine, and even in the darkness of the night, I still could see the black of his eyes. I didn't know if he was the one who started walking first or me, but we met up somewhere in the middle like a magnetic field was pulling us together.
A smile curved upon my lips. "You actually showed up."
Carson tucked his skateboard underneath his arm. "Had nothing better to do on a Sunday night." His black eyes were glittering in the moonlight. "Nice hair," he said and gave a dimpled smile.
I blushed. "Thanks."
Holly Dae waved her arms in the air, trying to grab my attention. I turned back to face Carson, who had been watching me the whole time. "I should go. I'll talk to you later?" I pushed a strand of my hair behind my ear.
"Sure thing," Carson replied, his tone casual. "Maybe we can talk more when the music's not screaming in our ears."
I grinned. "I'd like that. See you in a bit, Carson."
As I headed toward Holly Dae, Carson's gaze lingered, and I could have sworn there was a hint of something in those dark eyes. Holly Dae grabbed my arm, pulling me into the lively crowd, and the pulsating music enveloped us.
You can dance!
You can jive!
Having the time of your life!
Holly Dae and I erupted into joyful screams, our voices blending with the music. I was convinced Harry chose this song on purpose, knowing how much I loved it. Holly Dae threw her arms around my neck and burst into laughter, her radiant energy contagious. We swayed and spun in a carefree dance, downing shot after shot as the night deepened. Unlike Nik, who was currently retching behind a tree, I held my alcohol well.
The song ended as quick as it came, and it was replaced by a hit song that I was unfamiliar with. Holly wiped the back of her mouth on her arm, smearing her lipstick, and slurred, "I'm going to go make out with Nik now. Kay, bye." She was a touchy drunk. She kissed my cheek and bounded away.
I let out an exasperated sigh, scanning the scene around me. Harry and his friends were engrossed in some kind of game. Beyond them, my heart clenched as I spotted the sight I hadn't wanted to witness. Genevieve was clinging to Carson's side, a glass in her hand that she pressed into his. Her words were lost in the noise, but I could see Carson's face scrunch up as he glanced down at the liquid. He tilted his head back, Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed a hefty gulp. Genevieve's eyes bore into him, hungry and intense.
I knew she was trying to get him drunk, because that was the only way a man would ever desire her. It's what she always did — prey on innocent guys.
Genevieve was the first to catch sight of me as I strode toward them, determination in every step. She leaned in to whisper something in Carson's ear, a move that required her to rise on her tiptoes to reach his shoulder. With a last sly grin in my direction, she says her off into the crowd.
"Well, well, having a good time, huh?" I quipped, my tone laced with playful accusation.
"I am now after you ditched me." Carson took a tentative sip from his drink, grimacing as the unfamiliar taste hit his palate. I could tell this was his first time drinking.
"You're not supposed to drink." I tried to take his drink from him, but he was much taller than me. Way too tall. I barely reached his chest, and all he needed to do was slightly elevate his arm to keep the drink out of my reach.
"Who says?" he challenged, swaying his drink and inadvertently causing its contents to dribble down the sides, staining the grass.
"Said your mom."
He rolled his eyes, a mockingly exasperated tone in his voice. "Ah, the classic Mom joke."
"No, you...!" Now was not the time to lose my temper. I sighed and said, "Your mom told me you had a condition. I'm assuming it's something got to do with your liver if you can't drink."
"What did she say?" The irritation etched across his face was palpable, his features scrunching as though he'd caught a whiff of something foul.
"What I just said."
"Listen, I don't need a nanny." He frowned and walked away.
Whatever, my purpose here was to enjoy myself, not to be a watchdog for some guy.
"Yummy."
The voice belonged to Cherry, Kathy's daughter. She was wearing a floral dress despite the cold air outside. She was a decent person, but I always hated how much she bragged about how rich her daddy was, even though I would do the same if I were her.
Cherry stared after Carson, twirling a strand of her reddish hair around her ring finger. "Who was that guy you were talking to?" Cherry always purred when she spoke, like she had something stuck in her throat. "He's got to be new here, because I never saw him before."
"Who?" I played dumb.
With a flick of her hand, Cherry directed my attention toward the path Carson had taken. "Him." Her stare was predatory, akin to a lion eyeing its prey on.
"I have no idea," I claimed, though my words held a shaky conviction. Cherry wasn't buying it; there was always an air of knowing smugness about her.
"He's cute." She smacked her lips together. "Cuter than the rest of the boys in this damn town."
I offered a small nod, conceding her point. She wasn't wrong. But I was already in a relationship, and I shouldn't be entertaining thoughts about anyone else.
With that in mind, I turned away, heading toward Harry, who sat in a circle with his friends, cards in hand. Tugging at his sleeve, my actions oddly childlike, I interrupted his focus, and he glanced up at me, his smile immediately fading. "What is it?"
"I kind of want to go home. This party is lame." I was so bored and I just wanted to piss him off. Holly Dae was off making out with Nik somewhere, and Carson had disappeared after being surrounded by a bunch of girls. They were all talking about him — the handsome new boy in town. I could tell some of the guys, including Harry, were getting real pissed off. It scared me, because they always got what they wanted, and if they didn't like someone, they would make sure the person was aware.
Harry instantly got irritated. For someone so privileged, he was always angry at the world. "Then leave." He shrugged and took a sip of his beer bottle. "Not stopping this party for you, Max."
I stormed off to find Holly Dae, but instead, I stumbled upon Carson sitting by the fire. It was lit to ward off the cold. Perched on a log, he was engrossed in conversation with a girl who promptly made a hasty exit upon noticing me. Carson poked at the flames with a stick, his eyes fixed on the fire as he casually remarked, "Trouble in paradise?" The heat licked at his faces, casting flickering shadows that danced across Carson's features.
I dropped down beside him, realizing he must have been watching me. "Something like that."
"You look like shit." He stopped, looking through the pockets of his dark jeans. "Thankfully, I've got something that could help you out." A small pill was pinched between his fingers. He looked back at me and slapped it in my palm.
"Where'd you get this from?" I held the pill in-between my thumb and index finger.
He shrugged, nonchalant. "Some girl gave it to me."
"Her name?"
Again, he shrugged. "I think it was Gen."
I inhaled sharply. "Genevieve?"
"Uh-huh."
"Did you take one too?"
"Yep," he confirmed, smiling. "Dancing shoes." The fire's orange glow illuminated his face, his teeth gleaming. "What a peculiar name."
"This isn't a good idea, Carson," I whispered, staring at the pill. His mother had entrusted me with his well-being, but he was already high an hour after arriving.
Carson leaned back, looking up at the starry sky. "Loosen up a bit." His tone was almost a challenge.
I popped it into my mouth.
His expression shifted, maybe surprised that someone was pushing back. His eyes darkened, pupils dilated, and one corner of his mouth tipped upward. "Did you swallow it?"
I slackened my jaw for him, so that he could see the inside of my mouth. He titled his head and his gaze went down to my open mouth. "Good girl," he murmured, tapping me under the chin once. He poked the skin under my jaw and closed my mouth for me. I was sure my eyes were wide. He was an enigma.
"Have you done this often?" I asked, trying to sound casual.
"Here and there," he replied vaguely.
"So how long until this shit kicks in?" I cracked a grin. "'Cause I'm bored out of my mind."
He gave a small yet somehow terrible smile.
"Give it half an hour."
Time trickled away, and I lingered by Carson's side for what felt like hours. The pill hadn't taken effect, but the world seemed warmer and more golden. I felt cozy sitting by the fire with a handsome boy...
Carson stretched his long legs in front of him. "If you could go one place in this world, where would it be?" We were going back and forth with controversial topics when he suddenly popped the question.
I didn't have to think twice about my answer. "If there's one place I would move to, it would be New York."
The lights and sounds of a big city have always excited me.
"New York? Huh." Carson scrunched his face. "Sounds kind of dull. I was expecting something cooler like Japan."
"I just want to get away from all this bullshit. Sometimes I feel trapped, like I'm isolated in a bubble away from the world. It's like I'm missing out on what the world has to offer. There's nothin' for me here. Nothing." Except for Dad.
His gaze on me was keen. "Then why don't you?"
"That's why it's called a dream." I sighed wistfully. "Because it ain't ever gonna happen." I was spilling my life story to a stranger, and I blamed the drugs.
Carson chuckled, a low and mellow sound that resonated with the crackling of the fire. "Well, dreams are overrated anyway. What's so great about New York, though?"
I leaned back, looking at the stars above. "The city lights, the people, the music scene. It's like a different world compared to this small town."
He nodded, taking a swig from his drink. "I get that. This place can be suffocating." Already this boy understood me better than anyone in that town did.
"Yeah, you feel it too?"
"Absolutely. It's like everyone's living in their little bubbles, and you're just expected to fit in." Carson nudged my foot with his. "So, what's your escape plan?"
I laughed, feeling the effects of the pill starting to kick in. Everything was suddenly so funny. "I don't have one. Just daydreaming and waiting for something extraordinary to happen."
He glanced at me, and for a moment, the distance between us felt non-existent. "Maybe we'll find our own extraordinary. Somewhere out there."
"To extraordinary," I said, clinking my plastic cup against his.
"To extraordinary," he echoed, and then lit a cigarette.
A bunch of giggling girls ran past us, stumbling barefoot in the field. "What song is this?" The music sounded so much better than it did an hour ago. The thunder of the song echoed through the ground. It was almost as if I could smell and taste the music in the air.
"I'd like to live forever." I raised my hands by my side and pretended I could fly.
"Forever's an awfully long time," Carson spoke, cigarette in his mouth. I wondered as to why the pills hadn't had the same effect on him as they had on me.
"But who doesn't want to live forever?"
Harry approached us and ended the conversation. "Hey, Max. Come on, we've gotta go. The cops are raiding the party." He sounded out of breath and his shaggy hair was a mess. I didn't even realise people around me were scrambling to leave.
But I didn't want to leave yet. I wanted to fling the world away and stay with Carson and talk to him until the sun came up. He was so close to me, his knee brushing mine, and it was an electric pleasure that went down my body. It felt like his soul crawled down his leg and it seeped inside my body through the faint contact of our knees touching one another. It felt better than any sex I've ever had.
"Babe?" Harry held his hand out. "We don't have all day."
"I'll just... walk home," I said in a daze. I felt hot and cold at the same time. My underarms were drenched in moisture but I was shivering like there was no tomorrow.
"You shouldn't walk home alone at night," Harry's tone was stern. "Especially since everyone's drunk. It's not safe."
I just gawked at him, woozy and out of it, and Carson beside me cleared his throat and said, "It's all right, I'll take her home."
Harry gazed intently at Carson. I could almost see the gears turning in his head. He'd never seen this boy before in his life, and yet it was enough to make him shrug. "Okay." He cursed under his breath at the sound of oncoming police sirens and dashed off into the night.
With Carson by my side, I strolled along the deserted street. Walking together along the dimly lit street, each brush of his arm against mine sent tingles along my spine. Passing by a shop window, I stole a glance at my reflection, my pupils dilated as if my eyes had swallowed the night whole.
"Whoa," a touch to my flushed cheeks, "My eyes are almost as dark as yours!"
Carson, slightly bending to match my height, looked at his reflection in the window.
"I am one sexy motherfucker!" It was as if I'd never seen myself in such an alluring light, bubbling energy frothing inside me like champagne.
I turned back to face Carson. I thought I was floating above myself for a second there. "Can I ride it?"
"Ride what?" His voice sounded oddly strangled.
I pointed, "Your skateboard."
His throat cleared, "Oh, yeah, sure."
With a childlike eagerness, I took the skateboard from him. Placing it on the ground, I hopped on, pushing off gently. As I glided at a leisurely pace, I looked back at Carson. "Come on, you've got to keep up!"
"You're surprisingly good at this," he noted, footsteps drawing nearer.
I puffed out a breath, "I used to skateboard with my older brother before he moved away."
Carson strolled behind me as I rode into the night. It was a dark and everlasting night — the sky looked magical and the lights were eerie and blinding. How come I never noticed how beautiful this town was? The walls weren't rusty and cracking, they were gleaming under the moonlight. In that moment, I fell in love with this town, and it fell in love with me. Maybe it was the molly talking, but the stars above glowed large like street-lamps.
I turned to look at Carson over my shoulder, and it felt as if the wind got knocked out of me. The flickering streetlights caught his pale face and the highs of his cheekbones. His otherwise raven hair was a bluish black color in the streetlights and glistened under the stars. It was a breathtaking and ethereal view. His hands were in his pockets and he was strolling along languidly like he owned the town. I was captivated by the manner in which his lean body moved. He noticed me gawking at him and gave terribly alluring smile — like he knew that he was a sight for sore eyes.
I tucked my hair behind my ears and lifted my head to the sky, taking a deep breath in. I felt like I was having a bizarre fever dream or an out of body experience. For a little moment, I wondered my if this is how pure happiness feels. Worries dissipated like mist, and for a brief moment, it seemed as though life's troubles had vanished.
I opened my eyes at the sound of a beeping horn. A vehicle was rushing towards me, and all I could do was stare with glazed eyes as it charged straight at me. I braced myself for the force of the metal slamming against my body, but instead I was forced to the ground. Someone landed on top of me with an 'oomph!' sound. As it passed, the car's screaming horn was deafening.
Once gravity dragged my body down to the concrete, the moonlit sky above me was the only thing in my vision, and it was as if Vincent Van Gogh himself had painted it. I raised a single hand up to the sky and felt like I was touching the stars. Tears streamed down my face. I never believed it was possible to feel this euphoric.
"You're crying," Carson's voice broke the stillness. I looked at him, his expression serious yet gentle. He lay beside me, his face inches from mine.
I sniffled and tasted the salty drip of my tears. "I'm just... so, so happy." It was an emotion unparalleled.
Carson rose to his feet and extended his palm towards me. Accepting it, I shivered at his cool touch as he gently lifted me from the ground. He guided me on the walk back to my house, and with each step, a dull throb pulsed at the back of my head. I wasn't sure how I'd disguise the fact that I was high from Dad, and when I got home, I wanted to rush inside before he saw me with Carson.
As we approached the door, Carson broke the silence, "You sure you're okay, Max?"
I nodded, managing a weak smile. "Yeah, just... feeling a bit floaty. That's all."
"I was thinking about what you said."
"About what? I tend to talk a lot."
Carson chucked his cigarette on the ground and crushed it with his shoes. "About wanting to live forever."
"Ah." I glanced away, warmth spreading to my cheeks. Why was I blushing? Carson's gaze held mine, causing my insides to turn soft, like marshmallow. "I think it's because I'm scared of death. I mean, aren't we all?"
"Well Max," he said, leaning against the mailbox. "I guess you are somewhat right about that. Who doesn't want to live forever? And I think that we all secretly want to, but man, I'll say something,"—he shook his head—"there's a big part of me that thinks that would be the biggest curse ever."
With a wave, I watched him disappear into the darkness, leaving me standing at my doorstep.