What didn't kill me
It never made me stronger
Chapter 08 ~ Drunk
Jamie Myers
Propping my legs up on the nearby table and sticking my lit cigarette into the corner of my mouth, I settled my full attention on the tall man in front of me whose caramel colored skin seemed more flawless every time I saw him. He was beautiful, no doubt, and I bet he would be able to please any girl he wanted to. "I skipped school for this, so this better pay good."
He folded his muscled arms against his equally toned chest. "I didn't call you here for a job."
I perked up in my seat. "Then why am I here? Oh wait, you're not firing me are you?" Suddenly, the thoughts of what I would do if I didn't have this job entered my mind and they were anything but comforting. I needed the money. "I promise I'll work harder or something, but please don't fire me!"
He laughed softly in response. "I am not firing you, Myers."
"Then what is it?"
He didn't answer my question directly. Instead he kept his intense dark eyes on me for a few silent moments, before sighing and turning to face a conspicuous painting on the garage wall. "Have you ever been with a man before?" He didn't look at me when he said it.
My brows knitted together in confusion. "Uh, why is that important?" For the few months that I've been working for the boss, he never cared about my personal life. In fact, he never asked me questions unless it had to do with stealing cars. It was simple. The boss didn't care. Well, up until now.
He shifted his gaze to mine. "Have you ever been with a man before?" He repeated as he glared holes into my forehead with his fixed stare.
Too many to count. I shrugged my shoulders with nonchalance. "I've been with a few boys."
"You're not listening," he snapped. "I said, have you been with a man before?"
Suddenly, I began to feel my breath constrict in my lungs. He had gotten all but a few inches away from me while looking down at me with his dark lustful eyes. The atmosphere changed so quickly that I had to loosen the neckline of my shirt in an attempt to relieve this new founded heat. "Uh, um ... I don't ... Why are you..."
The boss' lips curled into a grin, exposing a row of straight white teeth. He never smiled and it was starting to freak me out. "You're even cuter when you get all clammy."
"Am I, like, missing something?" I had to be. This wasn't real life. How could my boss, the guy who held the same bored expression all the time, be seriously making a move on me?
He kept his trained gaze on me before sighing. "Take your clothes off," he ordered in a demanding tone.
My eyes opened wide and my throat went dry as I tried to come to terms with what was going on. When he saw I wasn't going to make a move, he grabbed the hem of his shirt and slid it up over his head, revealing his defined abdomen and lines angling down into his pants that hung low around his waist.
He smirked at me then, and it wasn't the sexy kind of smirk either. It was an all knowing smirk - the same one I would give to Scar to make him feel uncomfortable.
And boy was he making me uncomfortable.
"I'm s-so c-confused," I managed to choke out.
The boss took another step closer, closing whatever space was left between us. He was so close that I could reach out and run my hands along his sexy abs, but I couldn't. I wouldn't.
"Take your clothes off," he demanded again, "or I'll take them off for you."
My resistance was short lived because after hearing those words in such a low masculine voice, I had to comply.
I practically tore my shirt off my body and unbuttoned my pants, pushing them down to my knees. Glancing back up at him, I swiped my tongue over my lips, wetting them.
In just a few brief moments, the boss' lips were on mine. Our mouths fused together, locked in a desperate kiss that was dominated mostly by the boss. Even though I was usually the dominate one, I didn't mind letting him take control. I had wanted him for a long time, but I never thought it'd come this far.
He pulled me closer, our bare chests touching and I nearly shuddered at the contact of our warm skin. The kiss deepened when his tongue pushed past the barriers of my teeth and began to massage my own, all while I reached down and undid the button and zipper on his jeans.
Once his pants were off, he spread his legs wide enough to accommodate me and lifted me from my seated position. I wrapped my legs around his waist, still not breaking our kiss, and he settled his hands on my ass. Soon enough, he had me pressed up against the wall, kissing me feverishly as his hands combed through my long hair.
I pulled away from the kiss for a brief moment and stared into his eyes. "Wait, does this mean I get a larger pay?"
He let out a low, almost inaudible, chuckle and crashed his lips on mine.
**
After hours of rough, kinky sex, the boss drove me to the carnival in one of the cars I stole for him. It felt beyond awkward to sit beside him after all the sexual stuff we did just hours before. Don't get me wrong, I loved every minute of it, but this relationship was supposed to be strictly professional and now it wasn't.
"I want another car by Tuesday," he said in the awkward silence while keeping his eyes on the road.
I glanced over at him, surprised that out of all the things he could possible say, he chose that. "Hey..." I said softly as I gently placed my hand on his.
He yanked his hand away from mine almost instantly, but still didn't meet my gaze. "By Tuesday," he reiterated. "Now get out of the car, Myers."
Furrowing my brows, I gave him a look of disbelief. Was he seriously going to act like nothing happened? I wasn't the one who initiated it! "Whatever," I spat loudly, hoping he could sense my disappointment, and stepped out of the car.
I decided to not let the boss' bipolar attitude take a toll on me. Even if he had an impressive size and could blow my brains out like none other, I didn't actually like him. I liked Scar and seeing his face as soon as I walked past the gates made me smile instantly.
He really was perfect without even trying. He stood behind the kissing booth, kindly taking money from a brunette and giving her a quick peck on the lips. He smiled at her as she left and greeted his next customer with an equally bright smile. When he saw me making my way to him, he pulled out a makeshift wooden tag that read CLOSED and placed it on the counter. The girls in line sighed and whined as they disbanded and filtered through the maze of carnival booths.
He greeted me with, "You're late. The carnival is going to be over in a few minutes."
It wasn't a kiss or a hug, but it was better than nothing. "Yeah, I know. I was um, running errands."
He gave me a skeptical look.
"But the good news is, I got my sister to be your pretend girlfriend for the night!"
His turquoise eyes lit up at that exact moment. "Really?"
"Yeah, so we can make Francesca jealous and she'll come running into your arms and we'll all be happy. Well, except for me, because I didn't really like her in the first place."
Scar's lips pressed together in a thin line as he let his gaze drop to the ground, slipping into deep thought. I didn't know what it was about Francesca that made him so gloomy like this, but I hated every second of it.
"Hey, you okay?" I asked out of genuine concern as I placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.
He kept his head turned away from me, taking deep breaths. "Yeah, I'm fine," he spat bitterly just as he straightened his posture and closed the money collection box. "Get your sister and meet me at my Jeep." Hastily, he stuffed the money box into his black gym bag and hauled it over his shoulder. He didn't even bother to say goodbye as he trudged his way through the clean cut grass, becoming one with the giant mass of people.
"There you are!" I heard a familiar voice call out. When I redirected my attention towards the sound of the voice, I saw my sister walking towards me with a frustrated look cast on her face. Her usually unkept hair was tied back into a low ponytail and she wore an undeniably tight shirt that hugged her boobs in all the wrong places. "Where have you been?" Jillian questioned as she approached me with her hands placed on her hips in a disapproving manner.
I adjusted my leather jacket and cleared my throat. "Out," I said with a tight lipped smile. There was no way I was telling her about having sex with the boss. She didn't even know that I stole cars, let alone got intimate with my boss.
She folded her arms against her chest. "Did you get Scar to have sex with you?"
I widened my eyes. "What?"
Jillian's brow raised as she tapped her foot impatiently. "You're wearing your sex smile."
"Sex smile?"
She pulled her lips into a teasing smile. "I'm your sister, Jamie. You can't honestly expect me to not know when you've been fooling around, did you? You're wearing that same cheeky grin you always do when you get laid. So who was it? Scar?"
I couldn't help but chuckle at her absurd accusation. "You don't need to know about my sexual life, Jill. But if you must know, it wasn't Scar. I'm still working on that." I took in the sight of her ridiculously tight outfit and shook my head. "Why are you dressed like that?"
Jillian glanced down to her clothes. "Because I saw a cute guy."
"Your shirt is practically see-though."
She shrugged helplessly. "So you're allowed to be a slut, and I'm not?" I opened my mouth to respond but she beat me to it. "And don't change the subject! Who did you sleep with?"
"That's none of your business," I teased as I began to walk in the direction that Scar disappeared to. "Hey, there's a party tonight at one of the football player's house. You want to come?"
She gave me a skeptical look before finally letting the sex subject go and trailed behind of me like a lost kid while holding onto a gold chain around her neck. It was a birthday present from our mom a few years back, and Jillian never took it off.
She let go of the necklace and snapped her attention to me. "Since when did you go to parties?"
Since never. No one had ever bothered to invite me and I didn't really want to go had it not been for Scar's desperate need for a girl who didn't give a shit about him. But I was determined to get on his good side, so I had to make a couple sacrifices. "Scar needs a date. He wants to make his girlfriend jealous, so I kinda told him that you'd be willing to be his pretend girlfriend."
Her ice colored eyes grew hard as she glared deadly holes into my forehead. "You did what!"
I held up my hands in surrender. "Don't freak out, Jill. This is basically a free invitation to the cool people's party. Don't tell me you're going to miss out on that!"
She studied me for a moment with her eyes fixed and narrowed. "You know you wouldn't have gotten your persuasion skills if it wasn't for me."
I nodded at her as I tried to hold in a laugh. "Right. Well, you don't want to keep your boyfriend waiting now do you?"
Her response was a deep animal-like growl, but she followed me to the parking lot anyway.
Almost fifteen minutes later, Scar parked his Jeep alongside dozens of others and we made our way toward the massive house at the end of the street that stood out thanks to the colorful disco lights and loud music.
As we got closer, I could practically feel Scar's apprehension. "Uh, maybe I should hold your hand," he aimed his suggestion toward Jillian who was trailing reluctantly behind us.
Jillian gave me a look asking for permission and when I simply nodded, she grabbed onto Scar's hand. "Yeah."
Scar glanced back at me. "Dude, are you cool with this?"
"Totally," I said back, and it was the truth. Jillian knew I had a thing for Scar and she wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that.
The minute we stepped into the house, Scar tugged my sister into an unknown direction and left me there in the midst of a swarm of people all by myself. I was silently hoping that this whole jealously plan worked and I could take my sister home. What kind of big brother brought their little sister to a party where alcohol was involved?
The things I do for Scar Patterson.
Maybe he was too stupid to realize my attraction to him. Even if I didn't get what I wanted out of Scar, I would still like to be friends with him. But something told me in the back of my mind that Scar would forget about me the second he got back with Francesca. That was why I didn't want them to work things out. I wanted Scar to myself.
The song changed to one I recognized and I instantly found the need to dance. There was a busty blonde beside me, attempting to shake her ass and I pulled her against me and started dancing.
I had no idea how long I had been dancing for. Song after song passed by in a blur and it seemed as though I had a different partner for each song. Male or female, it didn't matter. I was just trying to pass the time.
My partner of the moment was a tall, skinny guy with ink black hair. He wasn't nearly my type and I was almost positive I wasn't his. Based on his dilated pupils and freakishly large grin, he was high on something - which meant he probably didn't even know he was dancing with a dude. But hell, I didn't care.
I don't know exactly how I saw it or why I even had to see it, but my attention diverted away from my dance partner and off into the distance. My eyes caught sight of a girl with familiar dark waves and her arms were wrapped around some boy's neck. I fully expected it to be Scar, but it wasn't.
Francesca's arms were tied around Trey's neck and her lips were connected with his. They appeared to be in a deep make out session, not once parting their lips. I wasn't even a fan of Trey or Francesca, but I felt betrayed.
The next thing I heard was a unbelievably loud shout, which was not an exaggeration based on how loud the music was. "You asshole!"
Francesca and Trey broke away from their kiss and stared wildly at the accuser, which correctly confirmed that it was Scar yelling above the music. Soon enough, he appeared into view with Jillian at his side trying to hold him back. I knew she was too weak to successfully try to keep Scar from punching Trey straight in the nose, especially since his body was fuming with rage.
The music stopped suddenly and everyone's eyes were on Scar whose hands were balled into fists. It was only a matter of time before someone got hurt. Normally, I would've stayed and watched to see how this altercation would unfold but the last thing I wanted was Scar to get his scholarship revoked because he put someone in the hospital.
Funny how I cared about his future more than he did.
Pushing and shoving my way through the crowd, I tried my best to get to Scar in time. I had no idea what I would do to try to consolidate him, but I had to do something.
"Dude, it's not what it looks like!" Trey cried desperately, trying to defend himself but failing miserably. It was obviously what it looked like.
"I trusted you!" Scar yelled, snarling. He tried to make advances towards Trey, but Jillian was successfully able to hold him back. "And you!" he shouted at Francesca. "Really? Have you got no boundaries?"
Francesca wasn't the least bit fazed by his accusations based on the growing grin spreading onto her face. "Oh, grow up Scar! We're over. You made that very clear."
Now I was concerned about Francesca's safety because I wouldn't put it past Scar to hit a girl.
I continued to squeeze through the crowd while simultaneously uttering strings of apologies until I made it out successfully. "Scar," I spoke softly, hoping my voice would make him cool down.
It didn't.
He snapped his gaze to mine and I could see that his eyes had grown dark into a forest green rather than their usual bright color. His jaw was clenched tightly and his hands were forcefully balled into hard fists, exposing the veins in his arms. "Stay out of this."
Trey furrowed his brows. "Are you seriously hanging out with him?" He said it with such disgust, such disdain.
Jillian spoke up, "Hey! That's my brother you're talking about!"
Trey's lips twisted into a cynical grin. "Yeah, that's exactly why I said it. Seriously Patterson, why the hell are you kicking it with those two freaks?"
I wasn't quite sure how I knew, but that struck a nerve and Scar lunged himself at Trey before I could stop him. They both toppled to the floor and Scar threw punch after punch at his best friend. Trey attempted to fight back but Scar was stronger, pinning him down with one hand and punching him with the other. As much as Trey deserved everything that was coming his way, I wasn't going to allow Scar to ruin his reputation.
Throwing myself into the altercation, I grabbed onto Scar's waist and with my sister's help, we were able to peel him away from Trey. He thrashed and kicked as we dragged him out of the area, but somehow we managed. The music resumed and the crowd continued to dance as if nothing happened.
Scar continued to fight against our grasp. "Let me go!" He yelled gruffly. "I need to kill him."
"Scar, I know that he hurt you but you-" My sentence got cut off when I caught a whiff of a horrid alcohol stench. "Jesus, you're hammered."
He jerked back, shaking his head furiously. "Stop touching me, you faggot!" He yelled at the top of his lungs and continued to resist. "He deserves to die! I'll rip his body to shreds, I swear I will!"
I glanced up at Jillian who was grabbing onto her hair and breathing heavily. "I told him not to drink, but he said he'd be okay! God, I'm so stupid."
"Don't beat yourself up, Jill. It was bound to happen," I attempted to console her while trying to keep Scar's anger at bay at the same time. "We need to take him home. Scar, where's your keys?"
Scar stopped resisting and grew silent. He stared blankly at me for a few moments before tears welled in his eyes and he broke out into a full-on sob. "I did everything!" He cried as he threw his arms around me and whimpered into the side of my neck.
My body froze momentarily. He was drunk. There was no way Scar would hug me voluntarily. "It's okay," I said in a bare whisper, patting his back. "Let's just get you home, okay?"
Scar didn't let go. If anything, he held on tighter. "You smell good," he whispered into my ear. "You smell ... It's ... Like home." He buried his face deeper into the crook of my neck.
Jillian's lips pulled into a mocking smile. "Well, would you look at that?"
I sent her a deadly glare as I dug my hands into Scar's pockets in search for his car keys. "Shut up."
**
I was eternally grateful when I saw Amy's face on the other side of the door, rather than Scar's mother. Honestly, I didn't want to deal with an unpredictable alcoholic mother. I just wanted to make sure Scar got home safely, so I could go on my merry way.
Amy's silver eyes widened at the sight of her brother in my arms. "What happened?"
"He got drunk and made a fool of himself. Please make sure he's okay. I know you guys aren't on the best of terms, but-"
"Of course," she said quickly. "Just bring him upstairs." She opened the door wider to allow me to carry Scar, who was sound asleep, into the house. "He didn't do anything stupid, did he?" Amy questioned as she followed me upstairs.
I had to admit that Scar was a lot heavier than I was and carrying him up a flight of stairs was a complete struggle, but I managed. "He punched someone, but I stopped him before any real damage could be done." Once at the top of the stairs, I turned down the narrow hallway and entered the second door on the right, which I remembered from my first visit.
"Just put him on the bed," Amy's voice instructed me.
I did as I was told and gently laid him on his full-sized bed, being extra careful not to wake him. To my luck, Scar jolted awake with a start, breathing heavily and frantically searching around the room. When his eyes landed on me, his breathing slowed. "Where are you going?"
I gazed down at him. "H-home."
He looked past me at his sister who was just as frantic as he was. He reached out and grabbed a handful of his short brown hair and blinked a few times, struggling to remember what was going on. "No," he protested, looking at me again with his bright, entrancing green eyes. "Stay."
My heart stopped in my chest. I couldn't exactly describe the way I felt, but there was something about Scar begging me to stay with him that felt right. "I can't," I forced myself to say. "I have to drop Jillian home." And Janice will yell at me if I'm late.
He blinked a few more times, as if trying to understand. "I want you to stay," he reiterated. "Please don't leave."
I wanted to stay. I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to be there for him. But I couldn't. "You're drunk, Scar. You need to rest."
He sat up abruptly and grabbed onto my hand. It was such a simple touch, but something about it seemed intimate. I gazed into his glimmering eyes and felt my heart stop again when he said, "Stay."
Amy let out a frustrated sigh. "Jamie, drop your sister home and come back. I'm honestly not in the mood for him to whine all night about you being gone."
I shook my head in objection, pushed past Amy, darted down the stairs and into the cold November air. Jillian was still sitting in the passenger seat of Scar's Jeep when I jumped in and slammed the door behind me. I could hear her asking me what was wrong in the back of my head, but I was too consumed with my own thoughts to even listen.
When we got back to our foster home, I rushed out the door with Jillian following closely behind. She continued to press me with her questions, but I didn't bother to respond. Instead, I stuck the house key into the lock and swung the front door open. I didn't know what convinced me to believe that Janice would be asleep and we would be able to sneak into our rooms without her noticing. Janice was never asleep.
"Where you've been?" She questioned us with her hands on her hips. Her colorless lips were down turned into a spiteful grin and her hard, unfriendly, brown eyes were narrowed at us. Wisps of gray hair hung around her face but the rest of it was tied tightly into a bun, like it always was.
Jillian sucked in a frightened breath. "We were ... at a party."
Janice's head tilted to the side as her eyes focused on my sister. "A party?" she croaked. "While you were at this party, did you get me the stuff I told you to get?"
Jillian's eyes went wide as she gaped. "Oh, no!" she cried. "I completely forgot. I promise I'll run down to the grocery store the first thing tomorrow morning."
The old lady's careless expression didn't even falter. "You don't fool me with your fake cries, little girl. I've sacrificed so much so that you two could have a place to live, something to eat and something to wear. How dare you disrespect your own mother?"
I grimaced at the sound of Janice calling herself our mother. She wasn't. Hell, she didn't come close. Time after time again, she would lecture us on how she did everything for us when she didn't. We had to cook. We had to go grocery shopping. We had to take care of the little ones. The only thing Janice was good for was yelling and hitting us. Plenty of times Jillian and I had called child services but somehow, Janice was able to persuade them into thinking we were growing up in a healthy home.
That was why I wanted to go far away from this place, and I would do anything to get there.
"You're not our mother!" I shouted back at her as I stepped in front of Jillian.
Janice blinked in awe. "You ungrateful little piece of shit!" Before I had the time to register it, she swiped her hand at me hard and slapped me across the face. Jillian let out a scared shriek but I remained still with my feet planted into the floor. "Don't you ever say that again. I'm your mother. You understand that?"
Why did I want to come back here? Scar had practically begged me to stay with him but yet, I chose to come back to this horrible place.
I shifted my attention to my little sister. I really hated to do this. I didn't want to leave Jillian alone, but I couldn't stay here either. "I'm sorry," I mouthed to her before I turned on my heel and rushed out the door, ignoring all the shouts and pleas from Jillian.
Scar needed me.
**
A/N: There's just something incredibly hot about the way Jamie Campbell Bower is looking at Robert Sheehan in the gif to the side -->
So I told you guys last time that this chapter would be full with lots of laughs and I realized that I didn't quite deliver on that. In fact, this chapter was a lot more sad than I originally intended it to be. But hey, Scar begged Jamie to stay! That's progress.
So I'm gonna ask you what your favorite part of this chapter was ... even though I have a pretty good idea of what it was. And what do you think happened to Jamie and Jill's parents?
Please remember to vote and comment because that means so so so so so much to me. And also, I dedicate a chapter to a random commenter so get those fingers typing!
Until next time,
lara <3