Waking up in a strange environment with no idea how you got there is never any fun. Throw in a missing arm and a shit load of pain and you get one hell of a pissed off Gonzalez. So when she woke up groggy and confused and very much so shirtless her normally cold demeanor turned frightening. Frightening enough to send Beth Greene running that is.
"Rick!" Gonzalez stumbled down the hallway. Her legs were weak and she was lightheaded. It was proving to be difficult to keep herself balanced with only one arm. Tears started to stream down her face. Everything hurt so bad.
"Rick!"
The moment he heard the agony in her voice he was up and running. He was supposed to be helping everyone bring they're things inside, but that idea, along with everything he had been holding, was quickly discarded. Rick sped up the stairs and caught her by the shoulders before her legs fully gave in.
"Shh," he whispered. "It's okay. I'm here now. Everything is gonna be alright."
Gonzalez closed her eyes and allowed herself to lean against him. She ignored Lori who stood watching at the end of the hallway.
"Where the fuck are we?"
"We're on a farm." Rick told her. "Owned by a man named Herschel, and his family. We're safe."
Her eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. Something must've happened while she was out. "How'd we end up here? Where's Jenner?"
Rick sighed. "Don't you worry about any of that. You need to get back into bed and rest. You've lost a lot of blood."
She nodded and allowed herself to be carried back into the room. A cry tore itself out of her lips and Rick set her down on the bed.
"Is she okay?" Lori asked in concern.
Gonzalez was full blown sobbing. "It hurts. It hurts so fucking much. Who's idea was it to cut my arm off anyhow?"
Rick looked down at her in pity. "That'd be Glenn, I believe."
"Yeah, well Glenn is a dead man." She replied.
Lori raised an eyebrow at her. "Last I checked you were on board with the idea."
Gonzalez didn't even bother to lift her head and look at her. Her eyes remain squeezed shut to avoid more tears falling out.
"Fuck you."
The next morning Gonzalez had woken up once again. This time she was less angry and an old man was sitting at her bed side. He had stark white hair and was reading a bible. He didn't even need to look to know that she was up.
"You should be in a lot less pain by now. That's if the pain killers work," he said pointing to the IV sticking out of her arm. "My name is Herschel. Welcome to my home, miss."
Gonzalez nodded in thanks. "The name's Gonzalez." She told him.
He sat the Bible down and gave her his full attention. "You got a first name?" He asked.
"Why? You ain't ever met a woman named Gonzalez?" She asked sassily. It was evident she was feeling a tad bit better than before.
Herschel chuckled. "No, I believe I have not. What's your last name then, if I may ask?"
"Gonzalez." Sh answered dryly.
"Gonzalez Gonzalez? Do your friends call you GG for short?" Herschel mused.
Gonzalez laughed. She decided she liked the old man. "I'm sure they would if I had any."
"Well, according to your group, you've been out cold for quite some time. I think we ought to get some food in you, don't you think?" Herschel said.
"That's the best damn idea I've heard since the start of the apocalypse."
After a hot meal and some water Gonzalez was finally allowed to step outside for some fresh air . She wanted to stretch, but was quickly reminded that she no longer had her left arm. It was the strangest thing. She could still feel the sensational of her wiggling her own fingers but when looked down they wouldn't be there. She wanted to sit down in a dark room and cry all day and night. If she were being honest, the easier option would have been to let the infection take over her body and die. For the first time in her life she wished more than anything she had done things the easy way.
The others kept they're distance from her, especially Andrea. They could tell she was definitely not in the best mood. Not that she ever was, but at the moment they didn't wanna risk anything. Shane stood from afar staring at her with a sorry look on his face. He wished he could take away her pain, but he was still glad to have her around. Alive.
It seems he still hadn't noticed that Gonzalez didn't give one single fuck about his existence.
The only person who dared approach her was Rick. He was the only person she wanted to speak to anyhow.
"Are you finally going to tell me what happened?" She asked.
"The CDC was a bust. The building blew up with Jenner and Jacqui still inside." Rick explained to her. She nodded to show that she was listening. Rick sighed heavily. "It was their decision.
The others don't know this, so I expect you to keep it to yourself. The disease; it's inside us. It's in all of us. Doesn't matter how we die. From a bite or a bullet. The end result is all the same."
Gonzalez grimaced. There goes the idea of dying peacefully without ever coming back. "Then how'd we end up here?" She asked quietly.
"We were on road for quite a bit after that. When you lost your arm you lost so much blood. It was the scariest thing I've ever seen. That, plus the immense pain you were in, sent your body into shock. You passed out. Then you stayed asleep for a while.
We had stopped on a highway. A herd came through, sent little Sophia running. We went looking for her and Carl got shot. These folks took us in and saved his life. Yours too. You have Shane to thank for that. He risked his life for those supplies. These people lost a man for 'em too."
"Yeah?" Gonzalez let out a shaky breath. "Thank Shane, huh? Maybe you and I could do that together. You thank him for shagging your wife and I'll thank him for saving my life."
Rick let out a bitter laugh. He combed his hand through his messy curls before bring it back down onto his hips. "You aren't funny, ya know?"
"My humor isn't for the weak." Gonzalez cheekily grinned.
"I know. How's the arm?"
"It hurts." Gonzalez admitted. "Actually it hurts like hell. It's numb and it burns all at the same time. I keep forgetting it's not there and I fall on my face. Getting up is harder than I ever though it could be. And, man, I still feel it. I still feel the warmth on my skin and it scares me because I know," she hiccuped. " I know it's not actually there and it's driving me fucking crazy.
My shoulder is in pretty bad shape. It's going to take forever to heal. The painkillers can only do so much. It's taking everything in me not to cry."
"You're crying right now." Rick pointed out.
Gonzalez glared at him. "Screw you, you absolute fucking stale croissant."
Rick smiled at her. "My humor isn't for the weak." He felt like shit. His best friend was in pain and couldn't do jack shit about it. He wanted to hold her closely and tell her everything would be alright. He couldn't. He really wish he could.
Gonzalez laughed and allowed only one final tear to fall. She went to playfully push him, but was given a cruel reminder when she stumbled and nearly face planted. Rick, who had caught her, was standing to her left. She no longer had a left arm. Her heart clenched, but her smile never faltered. She giggled into Rick's chest and felt the rumbles of his own laughter against her cheek.
Gonzalez wished she had died.
********
Oh hey. What's up? Happy 2020.
Fun fact: I was originally going to extend the group's stay at the cdc and have Gonzalez sleep with Jenner because... well.... I love the drama of it all. That obviously did not happen.
Anyways pls enjoy this, as usual, very unedited chapter.