A/N
Hola,
Thanks to all the people who read the story I'm so thankful. I'm really busy that why I don't upload much.
This chapter is my favorite one from this book so far so I hope you will like it. Let me know what you think!!
I hang up my coat and take off my shoes, ignoring the surprised and relieved expressions on my mother's and sisters' faces and just walk straight to my bedroom.
I'm not feeling like talking about today or why I'm looking normal again. Today was supposed to be a fresh start but it was just a big step back. I really can't stand my friends anymore. I feel angry towards Ashley but on the other hand, she can help me figure out what happened.
Diaro is just weird, I'm really gonna ask him about it.
And Jason, I don't know what I should think about him. He is just one big mystery witch I need to figure out before I can on going with my life.
----------------------------------------------------------------
The next morning when I enter the school it's almost empty. I'm half an hour early so I get why. I just put my stuff in my locker and go to the restroom. When I look in the mirror I see both the old Cira and the broken Cira. I decided to wear normal clothes but I didn't put as much effort into my hair and makeup as yesterday.
15 minutes before the first class start I decide to go to Mr. Red to return my elevator card.
When I enter the gym area I already see some people enter the locker rooms.
Trough the windows I see Mr. Red preparing the gym, some soccer goals, and a basketball court. He directly looks up when I enter the gym.
''Goodmorning Mr. Rode,'' I say and wave. ''I'm here to return the elevator key'' I hold up the card.
He had a ned filled with basked balls in his hands. ''Hai , Cira!'' He throws them down and looks at me with bright eyes.
''Are you feeling better?'' he separates the ball into pair so every basked in the gym has 2 balls.
''Yeah, I'm fine, I will participate in the next PE class.'' I smile at him.
He laughs and starts walking towards the storage area to get some more stuff.
''That's great news,'' He looks around him to see what else he needs.''You can just hang the key in my office you know in they key hanger thing.''
I nod and turn around to leave and see some kids entering the gym trough the other door. Most of them are boy's but that not weird. Girls almost always take longer to get in. Doing their hair and makeup in front of the mirror.
''You know how the door works right?'' Mr. Red yell just when I'm leaving the gym.
''Yep.'' I call back.
He is always very nice. When someone needs something from the office he always lets people take it. That's why everyone knows how that door works.
When I'm in front of the office the door is almost closed, there is just one little piece of wood stopping it from locking.
I push open the door and directly on the right, there is a cabin with the key in the wall.
With my foot, I hold the door open while I reach for the key cabin. It's to far away for me to hang the key. I lean on the sink under the cabin, I stretch my arm as far as I can.
''Jesus,'' I stand on my toes and look behind me to see if I'm not too far to keep the door open.
I feel someone taking the key out of my hand. ''Let me help you,'' I take a step back as that person hangs the key in place.
''Thanks,'' I say and turn around to see who is helping me.
He turns to me and smiles awkwardly, ''your welcome''
Jason, those green-brown eyes avoid looking in mine.
Click
The sound of the door locking takes my attention away from him.
Shit the door, I stepped away.
I see him looking at his hands before he turns around and tries to open the door. He tries and fails.
''It's locked,'' I say and see him tense.
I'm locked up with him in this teacher's lounge. I wanted the opportunity to ask him questions but this is kinda awkward.
He is still standing with his back towards me. He pushes his finger against the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes while he turns around and leans against the door.
Well, he seems frustrated by this.
The lounge isn't big. 2 couches, a mini kitchen and a table, and a football table.
I turn and to sit down on the couch and take my phone from my bag. I open the group chat to ask if one of my friends to open the door.
"I have texted my friends, someone must be there soon," I say and look at him.
He nods and walks around the room. He is not going to start a conversation. He must really like PE, because I seem kinda stressed to miss his class.
He is wearing a tight black short-sleeved shirt so that you can see all the muscles in his upper body. He is wearing sweatpants and his hair kinda looks beautiful shiny waves. Then he turns to me and I look straight into his eyes. I look away quickly.
Ha he caught me checking him out.
"Has anyone already responded?" He asks.
Really? I texted them like 30 seconds ago.
I see that Indi, Dani and Sylvana have responded.
"They have class, a presentation so they aren't allowed to leave. It's part of their exam.''
Jade has not read it yet.
He nods and walks around again.
I suddenly feel my head pounding and realize that I have not taken my medication.
He walks to the couch and sits down on the other side.
I grab my bottle of water and medicine.
The sound of me taking my medicine out of the rap caught his attention because I see his head turning my way.
When I have swallowed everything he looks away and wipes his hands over his face.
He now leans back and sits more relaxed as he turns to look at me. As if he changes his mind about stressing about being locked up.
I'm on my phone but so aware of him staring at me.
"How are you feeling?" He finally asks me and turns so his body is in my direction.
I'm surprised by his question, I didn't think he would talk to me. But I have had this question many times, so I just react like I alway do.
"Fine, I feel fine," I say and smile, then I look away again.
He doesn't look away from me but stays silent. His eyes scan my face and I let him, not looking back. This situation makes me nervous, not only because he is a big mystery, but yeah who wouldn't become nervous talking to a boy who looks like that.
I turn to him and look straight in his eyes.
"You can be honest," he says.
I look at my hands. He is the first to ask further. Everyone believes it when I say I'm fine. I look back at him and am quiet as he waits patiently.
I don't know why, but I have the feeling that he won't judge me. That he will listen and actually care about what I'm gonna say.
What the hell, I don't know this guy. But I have nothing to lose, we will probably be here for a while.
"I feel bad," I say and look at him.
Hearing me say that makes him look away, I don't know why because he knew I would say that.
''Physically or mentally?'' He looks at me again.
''Both, after months my body no longer hurts with every move I make. I'm not back to normal but I will get there, mentally it is worse. "
He looks at me with a tormented look. Maybe this isn't the best topic for me to discuss with him, he also was in the hospital for someone, someone who probably has something like me because she was on my department. But It feels good to say this out loud. I don't stop myself from explaining. I want him to understand.
"It feels as if my life is a book that everyone has read, but before I could read it, there were chapters torn out and nobody can tell what happened in these chapters. I don't know if it were important things that I forgot but it was still a part of my life. It feels like I'm not complete without that part and it drives me crazy all the time. I am constantly irritated about everything and everyone because I know that they have read those chapters." I feel the stress leave me. I turn to him and sit more comfortably.
I look back in his eyes and see a lot of emotions. He rests his head on his fist and looks at me.
"Maybe it were things you don't want to remember. Bad memories that you have now lost and people who care about you have decided not to give them back."
I shake my head, "They are not entitled to that. They are my memories, good or bad, they are mine. Something has happened lately that has had a lot of impact on my life, I know. There is a void, something or someone is missing. " He stares at me with a soft, doubtful look. There is something in his eyes that I don't understand.
"Did we know each other?" I have to know. He looks away and the thing in his eyes is gone. "Before I came back to school?"
"Yes"
I notice how big my eyes get when I hear a word.
"I saw you at the hospital, remember." Now he looks away and sits up.
"That's not what I mean." He knows that's not what I mean.
"I know," He remains silent
"How long have you been a student here?"
"Since the beginning of this school year." He explains.
What?
"I don't remember you, really not at all. The first time I saw was in the hospital." I don't try to hide my surprise.
"There are quite a lot of students at this school." He says and still doesn't look at me.
Why does he find this topic so uncomfortable?
"Yes, but I am sure I would have noticed you." I feel my cheeks burning when I realize what I said.
He now looks at me and smiles.
I look away but he keeps looking at me.