Adrian
I'm kissing Sofia. Sofia is kissing me. We're kissing each other. It's a medley of kisses I never thought I would experience, especially after how this night turned out. I've waited almost four long years for this and it's even more incredible than I thought it would be.
I can feel the air slowly filling my lungs with each kiss and I think I might be breathing for the first time. She's not taking my breath away, she's already done that countless times in the past. This time she's giving it to me, breathing life into me.
She's giving me my life back.
She took it with her when she left, and now she's bestowed it upon me once again. It's a gift and an honor she's presented me with. I've never felt more alive than in this moment. And I never want it to end.
I feel her tremble against me and it shakes me to the core. I don't want to pull away from her but I know she must be freezing. I'm freezing and she's half my size so that can't be good. Our clothes are completely soaked from the rain and her hair practically feels like ice. I know this because I can't stop running my fingers through it even with the slight burn on my fingertips.
But everything is moving so fast and I need to slow down. There are still so many things unspoken between us. We've been tiptoeing around it since she's been back, but today it finally culminated and it all came to the surface like a chemical reaction. The last thing I want is to push her and scare her away. This already feels like a huge step and I can't fuck this up.
I gradually bring my euphoria to an end and rest my forehead against hers. She sighs and I can sense her disappointment. She didn't want to stop either.
"You're trembling, darling," I tell her. It feels like ages since either of us last spoke.
"Oh. Sorry," she says a little breathless. "Your jeans are freezing."
"Shit, I didn't realize." Of course she would be freezing her ass off. She's sitting on my lap with bare legs because of those sexy little shorts she's wearing. I quickly move her and set her to my side in the backseat. I look for the car keys I dropped somewhere in our haste to get in, and when I find them I lean over to the front of the car and stick them in the ignition, turning the heat on to full blast.
I adjust the vents in the back so that they are facing her, but she still looks pretty damn cold. She has her hands wrapped around her arms and is still shivering. I reach over to her and rub her arms up and down but I know that's not going to work. She's barely wearing any clothes and most of her skin is exposed.
"Do you want to sit up front? I think it might be warmer," I offer.
She quickly shakes her head. "I like it back here," she grins.
"I like it, too." From now on I know I'll never be able to look at this jeep the same way, especially when sitting in the back.
I suddenly remember my soccer bag is in the trunk, ready for practice tomorrow. I lean over to get it and rummage through it while Sofia looks at me curiously.
"You're in luck. I got the full gear. Sweatshirt, t-shirt, and gym shorts. What do you prefer? Or do you want all of them? Don't worry, they're clean."
She smiles at me. "I'll take the sweatshirt, please. You can have the rest."
"Are you sure? You don't want the shorts?"
"No, you need them more than I do. Mine are surprisingly okay. I guess they are a little small," she says with a slight blush.
"You won't see me complaining," I say, handing her the sweatshirt.
She takes it from me but doesn't make a move to put in on. She looks embarrassed. I think she might be waiting for me to undress first.
"Ladies first," I encourage her.
"No way, turn around," she responds.
Is she serious? "Sofia, I've seen you in a bikini numerous times. It's the same thing."
"No, it's different."
"Fine." I shake my head and turn around from her slightly. I quickly pull off my shirt, followed by my shoes and socks, all of which are completely soaked. I unzip my jeans and it takes me a lot longer to pull them down my legs as they feel like they weigh a dozen bricks. Damn, they are cold.
I notice Sofia hasn't moved at all, so I risk a glance over my shoulder and she's staring at me with wide eyes. I realize it's because I've just stripped down to my boxers without even thinking about it in less than a minute flat. "So you get to look and I don't?" I tease her.
"I ... uhm ... wasn't looking," she says averting her eyes from me.
"Right. Yeah, my bad," I joke, putting on my gym shorts and t-shirt. Wow, this already feels so much better.
I turn around and Sofia has finally taken off her top. Unfortunately, she has her back to me but I still love the sight of her bare skin and the pink straps of her bra that cover it. I imagine tracing them with my fingers and then slowly unclasping it and brushing it to the side so that it falls off her shoulders.
But of course that will all stay locked up in the attic of my wild imagination. I decide to focus on something else and notice her necklace. It's a delicate gold chain that drops down her neck with an open heart at the end. It must be double sided because it has the same pattern on the front that I've seen so many times before, running down her sternum.
She suddenly sneaks a peek back at me, probably noticing that I've been staring at her equally as much. She blushes and she looks so beautiful I wish I could take a picture of her like this.
She finally slips on my sweatshirt and I notice she's having trouble putting on the second sleeve and I can tell she's getting frustrated.
"Here ... hold on. I think it's inside out." I reach towards her and fix it, pulling her arm through the sleeve.
"Thank you." She zips up the front and turns towards me. I briefly catch a peek of her cleavage and I nearly moan. She's absolutely right. It's not the same as a bikini, as much as I've loved seeing her in one every single time. It's not even in the same league. I thought I knew already, but this whole time I've been missing out on so much more. This is much more intimate as I'm the only one that gets to see her like this ... and a thousand times more thrilling.
She leans forward and starts taking off her boots. No, please no. Not the boots! I'm being a selfish prick because her shoes must be as soaked as mine were. Probably worse considering the leather. The good news is that now her entire legs are on display and they seem to go on for miles.
"Okay," she sighs in relief once she's finished. "That wasn't so bad, right?" she says as if we just accomplished something big. Like a school presentation or a final exam.
"It was brutal," I grin, pulling her towards me again and placing her legs over mine. She's been too far away from me during the last seven minutes and looks far too good in my sweatshirt. "Better?" I ask softly, cupping her face.
"Yeah," she whispers.
Before I know it, I'm leaning in and kissing her again. She kisses me back just as eagerly, taking me to that same place from before I never knew existed. This must be heaven. It has to be. And I wish I could keep her here forever.
I feel her hands run down my chest. God, I love her hands on me. I want to do the same to her but I'm afraid to unzip her sweatshirt or slip my hand underneath it. She may not want that and then I'll have ruined the moment. I settle on her legs, running my fingers slowly down them and caressing them. They're amazing legs, even though they feel really cold at the moment. Maybe I can warm them up for her if I keep giving them the attention they deserve.
Sofia slightly lifts up my shirt and I can't wait to feel her hands on my skin. But the moment she does, I let out an involuntary hiss and jump. Maybe this really isn't the best time for this.
"Sorry," she immediately says alarmed.
"No, it's okay. It's just that your hands are really cold." I grab them and place them in between mine, rubbing them as if I were trying to light a fire with two sticks.
"Your nose is also really cold," she giggles.
"You know, they say you warm up faster from body heat. We could always give that a try," I say half joking.
She laughs. "Well, wouldn't that be convenient for you."
"Hey, it's science. I'm just laying down the facts."
She laughs again and kisses me on the cheek. "Maybe some other time, stud."
What? Oh, man! Also, I'm secretly loving her new nickname for me, even if it's meant to be a joke from the earlier Sofia incident. But everything spoken out of her mouth just sounds so much better. "Definitely quoting you on that."
"Are you going to write it down in your diary?" she teases.
"Yep, that's going straight on the calendar. Expect an invite from me pretty soon."
"You and your calendar invites. They're too funny."
"Speaking of which, do you want to go home? It's getting late and I don't want you to get sick and we could get more comfortable there," I suggest.
It's funny how we even have that option. Usually you would just drop a girl home after a nice make-out session and call it a day, but we're actually going home together. Because we live together. I really hope this doesn't become awkward for her.
"Can we stay a bit longer? I feel like it's really just the two of us here, and it also seems dangerous to be driving in the rain right now. Maybe we can wait until it dies down a bit."
"Yeah, you're right. I hadn't thought about that." I also really like the way she mentioned being alone with me. Not that we couldn't arrange that at home, but this definitely feels a lot more private.
"Adrian? I'm really sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have accused you of wanting to hook up with that girl. The second one, I mean."
I almost laugh at the absurdity. She actually has to clarify which of my past hookups she's referring to from one night.
"Don't apologize. I guess it's my fault you would think that considering my reputation. God, I'm such an idiot. You have to know all that is over and I'll never do it again. I actually feel sick just thinking about it. You're the only one I've ever wanted to be with. Just please don't leave me like that again. I got all sorts of flashbacks when I couldn't find you and you weren't answering your phone and it nearly killed me."
She nods and leans in to hug me. Not just any hug, but one of those hugs that seem like your world would fall apart if not for the embrace. I wrap my arms fiercely against her back and I hold her against me for as long as she'll allow me to.
I come to realize that with this hug we are forgiving each other. She's forgiving me and I'm forgiving her. I don't need to hear the words. I don't need an explanation for what happened. I don't care that she was gone for so long and that I missed her during every second of it. I only care that she returned, that she came back to me, and that she's here with me now. It's all I ever wanted.
"Adrian. I want to tell you what happened, but I can't. Not yet. But I want you to know that it wasn't because of you. I needed to leave. I didn't know it would affect you like that. I didn't think you cared about me that way and I thought you would be better off without me. I just hope you'll forgive me one day."
She says all this into my neck and she sounds like she might cry. I really don't want to make her cry. I don't think I've ever quite seen it before besides a few stray tears and I sure as hell don't want to experience the real thing because I know it'll ruin me.
"Shh, Sofia. It's okay. You'll tell me when you're ready. I'm not going anywhere, darling. I just want to be with you."
I kiss her temple trying to reassure her, and tuck her into my chest. I end up leaning back and laying us down across the backseat. She quickly adjusts to the new position and settles in beside me. I've come to already love the way her body feels flush against mine.
Our legs tangle with each other and I nearly cry out in pain when she rests her foot against my calf.
"Holy shit! Your feet are freezing!"
Sofia bursts out laughing. "Oh my god, sorry I keep doing that."
"Wow, they're seriously all ice. Like a dead person's feet or something."
"Have you ever felt a dead person's feet?" she asks incredulously.
"No, but I'm positive that's what it would feel like. How are you not complaining about this right now?"
"They just feel numb to me. I guess I have bad circulation or something."
"Holy crap, that's insane."
I move her a little to the side and get up to search through my soccer bag again. I thought I saw some socks in there. Thankfully, I find them and put them on her feet, trying not to wince at how cold they are.
"Aww, you got me some socks?" she asks, sounding touched.
"Well, yeah. I didn't want to get held responsible for having to cut your feet off from frost bite."
I go lay back down next to her and she wraps her arms around my neck. "Thank you for saving my feet. You are seriously the cutest guy on earth."
Hmm. Maybe I'm not so bad at this stuff after all. I didn't even have to think about it that much. I smile at her. "Just remember that next time I screw something up."
"What makes you think that?"
"I don't know," I shrug. "Just afraid I might."
"Well, let me tell you a little secret. You're doing great so far. Keep it up and next time I might just let you look while I'm changing."
My eyes light up at her teasing. I also love how she keeps on referencing the future. Like we're actually happening. "Okay, hopefully I can book another appointment for that."
She giggles. "You're going to be blocking up my calendar pretty soon."
"That's what I'm hoping for. So prepare yourself."
I don't know about her, but I'm so ready. And I can't wait. She might think it's a joke, but I'm dead serious too. I want to spend all my time with her.
I pull her a bit closer to me and run a hand down her back, wrapping my arm around her waist. I press a kiss against her forehead but I can't seem to stop there and plant several kisses around her face with a last soft one on her lips. If I'm not careful, it'll turn into round three and I don't think I have enough self-control left.
She sighs contently and rests her hand against my chest. It's a simple gesture but it awakens something inside me that I thought had frozen and I'd lost a long time ago. It's an unfamiliar feeling and it confuses me at first because it's been silent for so long. But it must have thawed out with the rest of my body and turned into liquid because I can hear it again.
I'm sure she can feel the pulse of my heartbeat too, because even I can sense it beating strongly. It's beating for her. It's beating because of her and I wish she could keep her hand there forever. It reminds me that I can breathe again. It reminds me that I'm alive.
"Adrian?"
"Yeah, darling?"
"I want to be with you too."
I try not to smile like a moron at her, but I think it happens anyway. I spend the rest of the night listening to the rainfall while I hold her tightly, wondering how I was ever able to get so lucky, and praying like hell I never lose her again.