Chasing Sofia

Chapter 19 - The Conditions

Sofia

I wake up early in the morning after a night of restless sleep. I was trying to delay waking up as much as I could, but my mind keeps wandering helplessly back to Adrian even in my unconsciousness. I finally open my eyes and stare up at the ceiling, attempting to collect my thoughts.

I should have known better than to do what I did. I pushed him to talk about his parents when I shouldn't have. Out of everyone, I should have picked up it was a sensitive subject he didn't want to discuss, and I feel like the biggest hypocrite for pressing him.

I know it was probably just an overreaction on his part, and maybe on mine too leaving the way I did, but I can't help but think that there is something going on with him that I don't know of. I feel so selfish that I hadn't noticed it before. I've been so wrapped up in my own problems that I haven't stopped to think that he might be going through something as well. That I might not be the only one who has been hiding things. The thought is completely terrifying.

It's strange too because we've never really had a fight like that before. I don't even know if that would even be considered a fight, probably not considering the way couples can go off on each other, but somehow it feels like one to me. It was all just really intense and I think both of us needed some time to cool down.

I'm starting to think that maybe this is too much for him, that maybe I'm not what he needs. We've never had a normal relationship and keeping it a secret is starting to weigh on us. All the sneaking around and pretending is a lot of work and I don't know if my parents will ever approve of us. I feel like I'm distracting him from his regular life and from his soccer career and the last thing I want is to mess up those things for him.

I grab my phone, deciding I owe him an apology, and I see I have a message from him.

Adrian: Sofia, I can't tell you how sorry I am for last night. I had to go meet Coach this morning, but can we please talk when I get back? I should be home around 11.

I sigh, thinking he probably got in trouble for missing the game. I still can't believe he would just up and leave in the middle of match. Even if he did fake an injury as he said. Maybe I should have been firmer with him. We definitely need to talk about that.

Me: Okay, I'll be here. I hope everything is okay and I'm sorry too.

After taking an extra long shower, I realize I still have an hour and a half until he'll be back. Needing a distraction, I decide to get a head start on my homework for the weekend. I mentally chastise myself that I have nothing better to do on a Saturday morning without Adrian around. I really need to get a life, or at least make some new friends.

I'm in the middle of writing an essay for my Cultural Foundations class that isn't due for another two weeks, when I hear a light knock on my door. I look at the time and it's exactly 11am.

I close my laptop and go to open it. Adrian is nervously standing in the hallway and doesn't make a move to come in. He's wearing jeans with a black and grey flannel shirt and his hair is neatly pulled back. He looks so appealing, but his expression is full of worry and I notice the deep circles under his eyes.

"Are you busy?" he asks me.

"I was just doing homework," I tell him.

"Do you want me to stop by later so you can finish?"

"No, let's talk now. TV room?" I suggest, thinking it may be better to do this under neutral territory.

He nods and we silently make our way down. We end up sitting down on opposite sides of the couch, with a discernible amount of space in between us.