You're like snow,
Beautiful but cold.
-Nctrn
I woke up more tired than when I went to sleep. It was a hot August day and the sun was shining brightly in San Francisco. I didn't want to get out of bed; I felt something was wrong. However, I feel that most days so I completely ignored it. I put on my favorite purple yoga pants, a sports bra and a t-shirt, grabbed my sneakers and jogged to James' house.
Before I could knock, he opened the door. His smile and the way his brown eyes shined made me smile too. I hugged and kissed him sweetly on the lips.
"Morning." We said simultaneously and he led me into the kitchen. I took a sit at the counter like I did every day and he started cooking, like he did every day. It was a beautiful routine. I was an awful cook and I was thankful that my boyfriend cooked the most delicious meals I've ever tasted.
James was 17, just like me. He had brown eyes and brown hair... but those eyes, God don't even get me started about his eyes. They were my whole world; just looking at them made my day a hundred times better. He was the sweetest and kindest person I've ever met. We celebrated one year together last month. And to be honest, it was the happiest year of my life. He saved me and I will never be able to repay what he did for me.
"Where's Maia?" I asked. Maia, a 41 years old gorgeous redhead with brown eyes, was James' mom. And she hated me, a lot, especially in the mornings. I think her newest nickname for me was 'Satan's favorite whore'; but I think it's an improvement from 'evil slut'. She thinks James is too good for me and I can't disagree with her; but I would never do anything to hurt him. I love him with every inch of my body, and because of that I was as nice and polite as possible to her, but she still hated my guts.
"She's still sleeping. She'll probably sleep for another few hours. She isn't working today and she took a lot of pills last night." I know he wanted to sound detached but I knew him better than this, his mom's actions were hurting him.
Maia was a designer, a very talented one and she wasn't a bad mom, she just had some slight problems dealing with life. She raised two boys on her own after their father left them and she did a pretty good job.
We ate breakfast, talking about silly things and I couldn't help but smile the whole damn time. He just made me so happy. Our alone time was over when we heard Maia call James from upstairs. He sighed and looked at me with a little pout.
"That's my cue to leave." I rose on my tip toes so I could give him a goodbye kiss. He was much taller than me, because I was pretty short.
I was overjoyed when I got out the door. I walked peacefully to my house ready to have a good day. When I walked in the door, I heard my parents in the kitchen. It sounded like they were arguing. I softly closed the door behind me and paced to the kitchen without making any sound.
They would fight pretty often, but something told me that this was no usual fight.
"Claire, listen to me!" My dad yelled. "Kane's out and he's coming for her." He rarely yelled. Something was definitely happening. But what?
"No, no..." She sounded more fucked up than usual. "He can't..."
"He is. And we have to do something."
"What could we possibly do? We have no way to protect her, not really... He's trained, he's a fucking killing machine."
What the hell? Were they high?
"I know. We have to think of something." He took a long pause. "He can't take her from us..." He was close to crying.
What the fuck got him so messed up? Take who from them? A killing machine? I was done eavesdropping. I pushed the door open making them both jump.
"Kora..." My mom's eyes widened.
My dad got so pale I thought he was going to pass out.
"We were just..." He began trying to explain, but nothing else came out.
"Who's Kane? Who is he trying to kill?" I demanded explanations.
They looked at each other, expecting the other one to answer. I knew they were having a silent conversation, trying to decide who to answer and how much they should tell me.
"Hello?" I waved my hand in their face. "I'm right here. What the hell is happening?"
"Maybe you should sit down." My dad looked at me with so much pity and fear in his eyes, I instantly sat down. This was serious.
"We need you to know how much we love you. You're everything to us. And before we begin, we need you to know we tried our best to give you the life you deserved; to keep you safe."
I nodded, urging them to continue.
"We should start by saying we're not your actual parents." My mom said. She gave me a moment to let everything sink in.
I felt the ground slipping from underneath me. Thank God I was sitting down.
"What?" I asked.
Maybe I heard it wrong, maybe...
"Your real parents were Aurora Thompson and Alexander Curtis, our best friends. They died the day you were born. Xander took a bullet for her when Kane tried to kill her on the day of her wedding. She was nine months pregnant. She died giving birth to you." My mom explained.
"We know this is a lot to take in..."
"Maybe we should tell you a bit about them?" She suggested.
I remained silent. Nothing felt real anymore. I could hear them talking, but it all felt like a dream.
"Well, their parents were best friends, they grew up together. He was seven years older than her. When he got into college, his family moved away. And when she turned 18, she moved in with them. That's when we met her. Anyway, long story short, they had an epic love story; it was dangerous and sad, but beautiful. That's how you came about. Then they died. But before your mother passed, she asked us to take care of you. To take you away from everything. Because, you see... Us, Xander, Aurora, their families, all of us were part of the mafia. They wanted something better for you, a normal life. But that has to change now. That's why we're telling you all this. Kane is free from prison. He was released early due to good behavior. But the rumors are that he's been asking about you. And that can only mean one thing. He's coming to finish what he started. He's going to kill you." I've never seen my dad so serious.
"That's why we have to send you away. There's a boarding school in England, St. Veronica. It's the perfect hiding place. Nobody will find you there. You'll be safe until we take care of him."
"You can try to argue, but we made up our minds. This is the safest option. You have to leave." His voice was hard, but I knew he wanted what was best for me.
But it was so much to take in. I was so angry. How could they hide this from me? And a boarding school? Seriously? And they were acting like I had no choice in the matter?
This is my life. I can't just leave everything behind and move across the globe. Everyone I loved was here, I couldn't leave them.
And my real parents... they were dead. I didn't even know they existed. My feelings were so mixed, I felt overwhelmed. I couldn't breathe anymore.
But to think of it, it made sense. I looked nothing like my parents. Both had brown eyes and here I was, blue-eyed. My mom had blonde hair and my dad brown hair and mine was an intense black color. But I never even thought about this possibility... I never thought I wasn't their daughter. I never thought they would hide this from me.
It all became too much to handle. I stormed out of the house, closing the door with more force than necessary, not knowing exactly where I was going. I thought I would go back to James' but Maia was there. Maybe Lara's... fuck she's in Italy...
And then I had an epiphany. The cages of course, it's the only place I can go and let off some steam. It's been a while since I've been there so I might be out of hand but I didn't care. I decided against taking the bus because it was very hot in San Francisco and the bus was usually very crowded.
So, I walked there. I liked walking; it calmed me and helped me put my thoughts in order. When I got there, I was feeling better and I looked at things from a different perspective. I had no choice so I had to make the best out of this. I entered through the back door of the club. There was no one there at this hour so I went down the stairs to the basement where the real action really was. I could hear voices and grunts before I opened the door. The loud music and the smell of cigarettes, alcohol and blood hit me harder than I expected. I haven't been here for a year, since James and I started dating.
Excitement filled my body as I pushed the door open. I scanned the room taking it all in. Everybody knew me; I used to be a usual fighter here.
It would be clear to anybody, that there were three kinds of people there: the public, rich people dressed fancy, with expensive drinks in their hands; the trainers, dressed casually, eager to see if their fighter will win; then there were the fighters, half naked, bruises everywhere, and a killer look in their eyes. I never had a trainer with me when I fought, what good would they do? I knew everything there was to know and I didn't want to split the money with someone else.
I wasn't in the mood for fighting just yet; I needed a few drinks first. I walked to the bar and took a sit. There was no one else there but me. I ordered myself some scotch.
"Do you want something else with that drink?" The bartender asked. He was just a kid, around my age, and it was obvious that he was trying way too hard to sell me drugs. I shook my head not bothering to answer. I heard someone taking a sit next to me but I didn't turn to look. The guy smelled rotten.
"Damn, princess, you could be a model with that body." It was obvious the guy was trying to sound sexy but he was drunk and I was already in a bad mood. I knew the club owner wouldn't like me punching a customer so I ignored the pervert. "I bet guys are all over you."
I sighed turning to look at the idiot. He clearly didn't understand that I had no intention of doing anything with him. Before I could say anything, he spoke again.
"You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen."
I rolled my eyes and flipped my hair. "Are you seriously trying to flirt with me? It's not even noon yet." I asked offended.
He was still not giving up. He had messy grey hair and brown eyes. He was at least 30 years older than me. Disgusting.
"What would you say if you and I would go somewhere else?" He invited me, smiling, making me sick. His tiresome flirting was starting to make my day even worse. The bartender looked like he wanted to come save me but I didn't need anyone's help.
"Do I look like someone who would be interested in you?" I asked skeptical.
"Listen here, you little bitch." He extended his fat shaky hands after me, but I was faster. I jumped off the stool and ducked his punch. I laughed in his face feeling the adrenaline kick in. This was fun.
"Enough. No arguing outside the cages." Chris' elfin face came into view from behind the drunken guy. As soon as he saw me, he grinned showing his fake white teeth. "Kora, love, we missed you. Where have you been?"
"Around." I said cautiously.
We took a sit at a table near the bar, sitting opposite each other. The guy refused to leave the bar so the security had to drag him outside. I blinked at Chris as he just stared at me. He was obviously high. He was in his mid-20s and he was one of the most successful club owners from San Francisco. He was beautiful to say the least, we had a fling a while ago, but I didn't do the whole relationship thing; not until James.
"You still with that boy toy of yours?"
"He is not a boy toy. And I'd appreciate if you would leave him out of this. I'm not in the mood for small talk, Chris. I want to fight, now." I snapped.
"Anything for my favorite girl." He motioned for me to enter the second cage.
I stretched a bit and then walked inside. Everyone was staring at me, even though I hadn't been here in months, but it seemed like everyone remembered me. I closed my eyes and calmed my beating heart. A man twice my size entered the cage. He was bald and when he smiled at me, he had no teeth. How bad, nothing for me to take out. I motioned for him to come at me, feeling the adrenaline run through my veins.
✧
When I exited the club, it was past midnight and I was feeling elated. I was drunk and high on adrenaline, pretty beaten up but a few thousand dollars richer. I won all 7 fights that I had today and I was feeling pretty good about myself. The pain in my whole body was a welcomed distraction. I took in the breezy night air and walked to my house. I was still pissed that I had to go to that fucking school but I was starting to get used to the idea. The hardest part will be saying goodbye to James. What am I going to do without him?
I was extremely tired; as soon as I entered the house I jumped into bed. At some point in the night, I woke up, startled by my own scream. My dad barged through the door; concern written all over his face. It was the first time I was seeing him after our talk; I thought I would look at him differently, but as soon as our eyes connected, I realized he will always be my father.
"What happened?" He sat next to me on the bed.
"I had a nightmare."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
I just shook my head, trying to get it out of my head. Dad wasn't the person to push me to talk to him if I didn't want to; but I always knew I could. We have a very close relationship; much better than the one I have with my mom. We never got along very well, she always treated me like something I wasn't; and maybe she treated me like Aurora, who knows? We always fought about the most stupid things and my dad always had to come and solve them.
"Try to go back to sleep, okay?" His sweet warm voice made me feel safer as I nodded. After he left, I tried to fall back asleep but I couldn't and I was just getting annoyed by that. I pushed the blanket off of me and changed my clothes.
I went to take a walk, not knowing exactly where I was going. I frowned realizing that I was in front of James' house. The light in his room was on so I called him. He answered quickly his voice warming me up inside.
"What are you doing up?"
"I could ask you the same question. I'm outside, come open up."
He opened the door motioning for me to be silent so we wouldn't wake up his mom. He closed the door to his room and looked at me with a strange look on his face.
"You've been fighting?" He wasn't mad, he was slightly amused actually.
"Maybe..." I tried to hide my smile. "I smell bad, don't I?" I laughed.
"Yeah, you really do."
"I'll go take a shower. Don't fall asleep."
"I won't."
When I came back in his room, he was asleep, snoring softly. I smiled just looking at him like a creep for a while. I got in bed next to him, putting my arms around him, kissing his cheek.
Here, in his bed, next to him I was the happiest person. He felt more like home than anywhere I've ever been.