(A/N: The picture above is what Anakin looks like for this chapter but it will change. Anakin is 20 and Obi-wan is 36)
Anakin's POV
"We're asking you back Ahsoka. I'm asking you back," I said stepping forward and holding out her padawan braid to her.
She looked down at the padawan braid and paused, she wrapped her arms around her stomach and looked directly into my eyes. I moved my hand further towards her and she reached out to take the braid and stopped, she closed my fingers around the braid and pushed my hand back towards me. My heart dropped and my anxiety rose several notches and I stared at her trying to figure out if she was serious.
"I'm sorry Master, but I'm not coming back," she said.
Her blue eyes were filled with guilt, tears but also had a steely look of determination. She turned around and quickly walked out of the room and the doors shut behind her. Guilt welled up and I looked down at the braid in my hand and then at the closed doors that she just walked through. I took a few steps forward and then ran out of the room after her.
She was already outside and Coruscant was bathed in a golden light from the setting sun making the shadows contrast against it. Ahsoka had just reached the stairs and I ran faster.
"Ahsoka wait!" I called.
She continued walking and through the thinning bond we had I could sense the sadness and guilt in her.
"Ahsoka, I need to talk to you!" I yelled.
She stopped and I finally reached her and I was determined to try and change her mind or to try and understand why she would do something like this.
"Why are you doing this?" I asked.
"The council didn't trust me, so how can I trust myself?" Ahsoka asked turning away and folding her arms loosely across her chest.
"What about me? I believed you, I stood by you!"
"I know you believed in me Anakin and I'm grateful for that, but this isn't about you. I can't stay here any longer, not now," she said looking away.
"The Jedi Order is your life, you can just throw it away like this! Ahsoka you are making a mistake," I tried to reason looking down at the ground.
I couldn't look at her, I knew that Ahsoka was stubborn and wouldn't change her mind but I had to at least try.
"Maybe, but I have to sort this out on my own. Without the council. And without you," she said turning her back away from me.
"I understand more than you realise. I understand wanting to walk away from the order," I sighed.
"I know,"
Ahsoka began to walk away and part of me wanted her to stay, we had been through a lot together and we had formed a bond quickly. I watched as she walked down the stairs and disappeared out of sight.
I stood there clutching her padawan braid so tight in my hand that the diamonds on it cut into my hand but I didn't loosen my grip on it. I mixture of emotions built up in my chest, it was like a mixture between, anger, frustration and sadness. The sun had set leaving Coruscant in slight darkness, lights on the buildings and speeders turned on and horns blared up in the sky.
I stood there until the stars came out looking down at the padawan braid, through the bond I could sense that Ahsoka was crying and she felt guilty for leaving but it's what she thought was right. I looked at the stairs once more hoping that somehow she would run up the stairs and said that she's made a mistake, but, she had made her decision.
I could sense through the force that Obi-Wan was walking towards me, I turned away and broke the force bond that Ahsoka and I had and that part of my mind felt strangely empty. I walked back towards the temple and met Obi-Wan halfway, I put my defences back so Obi-Wan couldn't sense what I was feeling through our force bond.
"You can't blame yourself for Ahsoka's decision," Obi-wan said.
"I know," I replied sighing.
I could sense that Obi-Wan was upset and slightly angry but he understood Ahsoka's decision. Ahsoka had basically been Obi-wan's padawan as well and the two had formed a good connection with each other, but Obi-wan has always been good at controlling his emotions and sometimes it was frustrating. People often wondered why I was so different from Obi-wan with just about everything and in my younger years, Obi-wan told me not to listen to what anyone says.
We got into the elevator and I sighed trying to control my emotions and the force that was tempted to burst free. I didn't even realise the elevator doors opened until Obi-wan shouted my name.
"Sorry, what were you saying?" I asked pushing Ahsoka to the back of my mind.
"Are you coming?" Obi-wan repeated.
"This is your floor," I pointed out looking at the numbers on the elevator to make sure I was correct.
"I know, I don't think it's a good idea for you to be on your own right now,"
I considered rejecting his offer but I saw Obi-wan's searching gaze and sighed before walking out of the elevator and down the hallway. I hadn't been to Obi-wan's apartment since I'd been knighted, when I was a padawan we'd usually have our meditating sessions there, but since the war started we didn't spend much time on Coruscant anymore.
We went inside and the atmosphere felt calming and comforting just like it always had. My apartment was usually cold and had an edge of restlessness and uneasiness, I never spent much time there anyway, when I was on Coruscant I was usually with Padme or training.
"Anakin,"
I looked up from the ground and at Obi-wan and I realised I must've zoned out again.
"I haven't been here in a while," I said looking around the apartment that hadn't changed much.
Obi-wan smiled and I leaned against the back of his couch as Obi-wan went into the kitchen.
"Do you want anything to drink?" he offered.
"No thanks," I replied.
Obi-wan began moving around his kitchen and I realised Ahsoka's apartment would still have all her stuff in it. I remembered going to Ahsoka's apartment for the first time and realising how neat and organised it was like Obi-wan's, her apartment had a similar feeling. It was warm, comforting and a little bit calm but there was a little bit of restlessness in her apartment. My eyes flicked up to my former master who was still moving around the kitchen, I was certainly different from the rest of the Jedi in my training line, most of them were calm people. I've been in Yoda and Qui Gon's apartments and they both had a similar feeling to Obi-Wan and Ahsoka's. According to old records, Count Dooku was similar to Master Yoda but after his padawan, Qui Gon's death, he turned to the dark side. They were all calm, wise and patient Jedi unlike me, most people called me arrogant, impatient and a risk-taker which strayed far from the master-apprentice line that I had descended from. Even though I did train Ahsoka she just had the natural instinct of calmness, well, most of the time. I was different even down to the colour of my Jedi robes, well, since the war started we had more protective stuff like chest plates but mine were black and red while most other Jedi went with white, cream or brown.
My transmitter on my wrist beeped and I answered it, a hologram of Padme appeared and my mood lifted slightly. I placed the transmitter on the kitchen bench so Padme could see Obi-wan who had finally finished making his cup of tea.
"Senator Amidala, it's wonderful to hear from you," Obi-wan greeted.
"Please, you can call me Padme when no one else is around, I've known you long enough," Padme said shooting him a smile.
Obi-wan sent a smile back and Padme turned to me and through our force bond she was trying to see if I was okay but my defences were still up because Obi-wan was also trying to see if I was okay and I really didn't need to have a long lecture about him explaining that Ahsoka's decision wasn't my fault.
"I heard about Ahsoka, she came and visited me to say goodbye, I wanted to make sure you two were okay," Padme continued.
Obi-wan glanced at me and I avoided his gaze, I didn't know what to say. I couldn't say I was fine because everyone could see through that but I really didn't want to spill out everything.
"It was unexpected, but, she said that the force was calling her somewhere else, it was her choice," I said.
"No one was expecting it that's for sure," Obi-wan added.
It was her choice, it was her choice to leave me. But was it her choice? Or did we force her out, no one trusted her at the time and she didn't have any other choice.
I was angry at the council for not believing her, she had no reason to bomb the Jedi temple and anyone that knew Ahsoka knew that she wouldn't have done anything like that. But I couldn't shift the blame, I should've tried harder to make them believe that Ahsoka was innocent but instead I wasted my time tracking down Ventress and Poggle trying to get answers when I should've been convincing the Jedi Council to believe Ahsoka and me.
A random glass that was on the bench was blown off the counter and shattered on the ground, Obi-Wan and Padme both stopped speaking and looked at the broken glass on the ground. I frowned at it knowing that I was most likely the one that did it while I was lost in my thoughts.
"Sorry," I mumbled going around the kitchen bench and picked up the broken pieces.
"What happened?" Obi-wan asked obviously confused why the glass fell onto the ground.
"I got distracted and I didn't even know I was using the force," I explained dropped all the pieces into the bin.
Obi-wan gave me a look but thankfully Padme changed the subject to something else, I tried to pay attention to what Obi-wan and Padme were talking about and any other day I would've gladly joined in but my mind kept dragging me back into my thoughts.
I managed to pull myself back to the conversation as Obi-wan and Padme said goodbye and Padme turned to me and I could feel her concern and worry through the force bond and I sent back a clear message saying I was fine. I said goodbye to her over the hologram and Padme gave me a slight wink and I couldn't help but smile at the small gesture. The hologram disappeared and I sighed and placed the transmitter on my arm again.
"What really happened with the glass?" Obi-wan asked.
"I don't know, I was thinking about something else and then I heard the glass break and I must've done it because glasses don't just move on their own," I reasoned.
Obi-wan raised an eyebrow and I understood the meaning behind it, it was unlikely for Jedi's emotions to build up but if they did then powerful force users especially ones with a high midi-chlorian count could lose control without realising it. I still remembered the first time it happened and Obi-wan didn't know what to do so I went to Master Yoda who has a pretty high midi-chlorian count. Master Yoda explained everything to Obi-wan and I, he explained that when he was younger and he lost control he would make things float without realising it but I blew things over and tipped things because of my reckless nature. As I got older it happened less and I usually released my emotions while fighting.
"Ahsoka made her decision, you can't take the blame for that and I know you're going to. It wasn't your fault, you did everything you could to prove her innocence," Obi-wan began, "If you ever want to talk about it then my door is open, you know that, right?"
It wasn't her decision, it all happened to fast we should've given her time to think clearly before making the rash decision to leave the council.
"I know,"