05.
**Written in Open Office so the format may be kinda weird**
You know that feeling? That feeling you get when you're trying to convince yourself every thing's okay? That same feeling in the pit of your stomach that causes knots to twist like someone is wringing a cloth? The feeling of dread, fear, and regret when you finally realize that you were wrong all along. And that nothing will get better, only worse.
In the wise words of my best friend, Dana Daniels:
Nothing is wrong with you until everything is. You spend all of your life trying to play devil's advocate; agreeing just to avoid arguing. You spend all of your time convincing yourself that nothing is wrong until everything is.
These past few months living with Ian has proved that. “Playing house,” isn't working, and I haven't been able to break him. While in turn, he hasn't been able to break down any of my barriers. I still have a guarded shield up because I'm deeply terrified of him. I'm afraid of his anger, his fists, and his power. I never fully understand; let alone, observed his power until now. I never thought twice about his eminent fame and wealth until now. And as I stand, with my back pressed against the kitchen counter, I can't help but view him in a new, false light. A light that he has never shown me but reveals to others on a daily. One of beguiling dignity, authority, charm, and manipulative importance. He knows what he is doing by acting so...likable.
He coughs lightly to cover up his small chuckle. I have no idea what he's laughing at, but whatever it is has his undivided attention.
"Ian, can I talk to you for a sec?" I ask in the politest voice I can make. After dinner, I decided to put Danny to bed before Elaine could volunteer. I knew she couldn't argue because of her Friday night plans with her friends. So she is out of the house and away from my baby boy.
"Yeah babe, what's wrong?" he is seated at the island counter, typing on his Mac.
But I don't focus on hisactions. No, I replay his unusual choice of words in my head. Did he just say 'wrong'? How would he know something is wrong?
Shaking myself out of my thoughts, I dry my hands with the cloth before straightening my tense form. My mouth opens to speak but I stop when I take in every inch of him. He's dressed in a graphic tee and fitted jeans. And even with that, he still manages to look flawless. My eyes linger on his toned arms before stopping at his smirking lips. He hasn't looked up from his task but I have an unrelenting feeling he can sense my staring.
“Is everything alright?” He lifts his head then swiftly removes his reading glasses. A small curve of a smile threatens to creep up from the thought of him wearing glasses.
"I have an issue with this whole 'staying in all day' thing." I use air quotes to emphasize it. I'm hoping he'll understand and let us go out. Danny misses Pre- K and, at his age it is imperative he interacts with other children.
"Oh, really?" he tilts his head with slit eyes. It's not an angered expression but I can tell if I keep speaking, his face and tone will morph into a demeaning one.
"Look, Danny misses school and I-"
"No Ava, you look. Every single fucking thing I've done has been for the benefit of you and my son, okay?"
"How is this benefiting us? You keep us in here with Elaine all damn day and never let us go anywhere. Not to the store, not to the park; we don't go anywhere! Don't you see the problem?” I cross my arms before rolling my eyes.
He sighs impatiently then stands. Out of habit, I back farther into the counter top.
“I don't think there is a problem with me working to provide for us while you stay home to take care of him. You knew what you signed up for,” his palms press against the island counter while his chest heaves unevenly. And judging by the way his eyes remain locked on the marble counter and his hands slowly clench into fists , there isn't much time before he loses it.
“But...I didn't sign up for this- I never signed up tp be your-” I'm about to say something else but I stop myself. I can't be the center of attention anymore. I'm cleaning, cooking, working my ass of to get Danny and I out of here. I'm doing this to lead Ian Lucas Hunt on. And one wrong word could end this entire thing for me. I need a way to calm him down before he explodes. And I have enough sense to know arguing won't help us.
"Ava, you're not going to make me the bad guy again. I'm taking care of you and Danny which should be more than enough," he shakes his head bitterly.
Why does he have to say things like that? Anger stirs inside me and then I open my mouth,
"Again? You're the one who made it this way. You wouldn't be so scared to let us out of this prison if you didn't treat me like shit in the first place.” A glare so harsh and menacing lines my features. My plan isn't working and now I'm fed up. He's just as stubborn- if not more- than I am. What good is all of my efforts if he isn't going to listen?
I watch him pace over to me in quick strides before cupping my face in his large hands. Without a single word his soft lips graze my lips before roughly claiming them altogether. Small murmurs erupt while my hands go up to push him off.
“You know I like it when you fight; makes it more...arousing,” he pants in slow, soft breaths before pressing his forehead to mine.
Oh no, he is right. He has always loved to see me squirm which makes him more eager to violate me.
My body goes rigid, hoping this will turn him off. But no, I'm not so lucky because what he does next forces a high pitched squeak to fill the air.
I'm elevated so suddenly that I feel an instant heat warm my face. My entire body floods with nervousness the longer and harder he kisses me. My arms are locked between his fingers in a vice grip while my legs dangle freely. I can't move. All I can do is plead internally for him to just kiss me and nothing more. But once again, I'm dissapointed when he breaks it to spread my legs apart.
His firm fingers dig into my inner thighs before slowly tracing the outline of my panties. My weak knees start to pull together to close while my hands go over his.
“Stop,” I keep my shaky voice low to calm my racing heart. I haven't been the most eager to be intimate. Especially with Jared and now Ian wants this. I can't do it and I won't.
He scoffs lightly then says,
“Move your hands Ava,”
I stay convicted in my act. I'm not moving my hands.
And just like my decision is made, so is Ian's. He lsweeps me off my feet and into his arms bridal style, forcing me to kick in protest.
A loud thud echoes through the kitchen once I feel my body pressed against the counter. I squirm and push until the sudden feel of his touch forces a powerful gasp to part my lips. Gripping the edge of the counter with both hands, I slowly part my legs. My back arches when he goes deeper and I find my trachea yearning to moan sensually. I can feel his index finger creeping up and making me more aroused than expected. He makes a thrusting motion with his fingers until I feel damp warmth underneath me.
Shit.
“Mommy?”
I jump up when I hear Danny's small, raspy voice enter the room.
Double shit.
By this time Ian has already pulled out and is looking nervous as hell. Not embarrassed like me. He strightens his shirt before positioning himself to lift me off the counter.
“Ye...y-yes, Munchkin?” Ian helps me down so I can tend to Danny.
“Why are you crying? Are you scared too?”
Before I bend down to my little toddler, I quickly remove my salty tears. If I can break so easily then how in the hell am I going to break Ian?
“Don't cry Mommy. 'Member when you said tears are like the clouds before...when it rains?”
This was what I told him-not in that exact order- when he'd wake up crying. It was due to his terrible nightmares. He would scream in horror, forcing me out of bed. I would run to his room to comfort him and after, I'd wipe his tears and tell him that crying is okay. And that tears were like the clouds before it rains; holding your fears, worries, problems until it became too heavy. I told him that all the bad comes pouring out like rain. All of your emotions build up until theey become impossible to hide. No one sees what's inside until rain pours out the sky. That's how I explained crying to him.
After we get Danny tucked in again, Ian makes an announcement.
“Make sure you go to sleep, mini me. We have plans tomorrow.”
My head snaps to him, and not because of that weird nickname, but because,
“You said we're going out?”
“Yep,” He nods while shutting the door. A few shouts of glee can be heard from Danny once the door closes. He continues screaming in excitement until I'm forced to threaten him with double vegetables for dinner and no dessert.
Ian laughed at my choice of punishment but I don't care. After being hit numerous times, I know I'm not hitting my son.
“I promise you'll like our plans,” he kisses my cheek before taking my hand.
“Just you, me, and Danny.”
I hold a pleased smile on my face at that. If this will aide me in breaking down Ian Hunt then so be it. I need to dig into the depths of his soul; make him think he's the man for me and once he does, I'll destroy him. I'll crush him like a stepped on crumb.
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Unedited. Sorry for mistakes and that last chapter. It was shit...
Anways,tell me what you think! Vote, comment, fan! :D
P.S. I take my driver's test tomorrow!!! YAAAY! This girl will be able to driveeee ahaha.:D I'm not too worried about the test, but still hoping my instructor isn't a dick. :/