That night, I laid on the bed in the guest room with a million thoughts running through my head. How was I going to tell my grandparents that I was going to be staying with them for awhile? What was I going to do with Evan and Jasper who were sleeping in the living room just down the hall? What's going to happen to me?
Even though I was out of my mothers house, I couldn't help but still feel like I don't belong anywhere. The only place I felt safe was my room, and now I can picture my mother picking out wallpaper for the nursery for the baby she'll probably end up having with whats his name.
I was just happy that my grandparents didn't pressure me into telling them what was really going on, but I knew they knew I was hiding something. When I past their bedroom earlier after I had finished brushing my teeth in the upstairs bathroom, I could hear them whispering from behind their closed door. I couldn't make out much of it, but every now and then I would be able to pick out a word or two, but not enough to make sense of it.
I glanced at the digital clock displayed on the nightstand next to the bed. It was a little after one in the morning, yet I couldn't fall asleep. I would toss and turn, but that didn't do anything but get my cast wrapped up in a blanket.
With a sigh, I pushed myself up into a sitting position and took a deep breath. Overthinking was my biggest fault in life, and right now it is getting the best of me.
I placed my head in my hands and groaned. The more I overthought about what was going on, the more I felt at unease. I needed to clear my head, but I couldn't do that in here.
I reached down and grabbed my crutches off the floor. When I wedged them underneath my arms, I hoisted myself up onto my good foot. I carefully maneuvered around the bed in the dark and made my way to the door.
The door quietly creaked when I pushed it open. When I stepped out in the hallway, I didn't bother to close the door behind me. The hallway was pitch black, and it made it a bit harder to walk around without bumping into things.
"Ow," I quietly hissed when the toe of my cast bumped the corner of the table in the living room. I quickly clamped my hand over my mouth and looked up. Even though I couldn't see anything, I knew both Evan and Jasper were sleeping mere feet away from me.
My sudden yelp didn't disturb either one of them. From the glow of the moonlight through the closed window, I could see the outline of both boys. Evan was lightly snoring on the air mattress, and Jasper was on the pull out bed on the couch with his back to me.
Slowly, I made my way to the front door as quietly as I could, but the rubber ends on the crutches made noise every time they hit the hardwood floor. When I reached the door, I reached out and grasped the cold metal knob with me hand and twisted.
The warm night air was calm when I stepped out. The sound of crickets coming from the nearby bushes was the only sound that I could hear. Even the wind chimes stayed in place.
I took a seat on the rocking chair that was farthest from the door. It had been years since I had last sat on this porch, but it felt weird to me and I didn't know why. Maybe since it was late. Typically when I sat in the chair, it was daytime and I wasn't alone. Since it was just me, I just felt out of place.
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Jaspers POV
Laying on the pull out mattress in Hattie's grandparents house had to be in the top five weirdest things I have done. I didn't expect to be here this long, and I was half convinced that I should just slip away into the night when her grandparents were helping us set up the living room for both Evan and I. At least, I was going to do it until Mable mentioned she would make waffles in the morning.
When everyone had turned in for the night, I slipped out to the back porch to give my mom a call to keep her up to date. Apparently Hattie's mom came by to show off her new hubby to my mom and dad a few hours after we had left. Didn't ask about her daughter at all.
Mom was furious however, and when she brought it up to Eleanor, she just blew it off. She didn't even realize that Hattie was gone. Even now I doubt she even realizes it.
Now as I'm laying in bed trying to sleep, I hear a sound of a door creaking opened. I listen harder, and I realize it was coming from just down the hall. Hattie was staying in the guest room down the hall so I knew it had to be her, but why is she still awake? It's late.
I listen to her walking down the dark hallway. The sound of her crutches and Evan snoring were loud to me, but I didn't dare move. Was she going to the bathroom? Getting a cup of water in the kitchen? I hear thump on a nearby table.
"Ow," I hear her hiss under her breath. Instead of cracking a smile, which I normally do, I was a little worried that she hurt herself.
A few more steps and then I hear the front door open. My eyes widen in confusion. Why was she going outside this late at night? Was she making a break for it? When the door closed behind her, I sat up and the bed.
Through the closed window, I saw her walk across the porch to one of the rocking chairs. I narrow my eyes in confusion as I push my covers back and slide off the bed silently. My bare feet made soft pats as I made my way to the window.
When I saw Hattie, I couldn't help but notice how sad she was. I couldn't blame her though. It's been a shitty day. Especially for her. Leaving home must have been traumatizing for her. It was only home, and now she had to start over.
I step back from the window and made my way over to the door. I wouldn't be able to sleep knowing she was out there.
When I opened the door, she didn't even notice me at first. I stepped out and slowly closed the door behind me. The moment the door closed, Hattie looked over at me.
"Can't sleep?" I asked with a small smile as I made my way over to the other rocking chair. I couldn't read Hattie's expression as she stared at me.
She shook her head and looked straight at the front lawn. "I have too much on my mind, I guess. Why are you still up?"
"Evan's a snorer," I say as I keep my eyes on her. I notice the corner of her mouth pull up into a smile.
"Have you tried kicking him?" Hattie suggested as she turned to face me. When I saw the smile on her face, I could feel my heart skip a beat.
'No' , I thought to myself as I pushed those feelings down. I wasn't worthy of them.
"I'll try that later," I shrug as I look out into the front lawn. The moon lit up the whole area, and the streetlights on the side of the road glowed dimly. The crickets were the only sound that I could hear apart from the creaking of the rocking chair. I glanced back over to Hattie a couple of minutes later. She had her elbow propped up against the arm of the chair and had her hand tucked away behind her neck. The smile on her face had disappeared at some point. "You okay?"
Hattie turned her head slightly to look at me. "I guess. Why?"
I shrugged. "You looked sad. I don't know, maybe I'm imagining things."
"Probably," she said, but I could see something suddenly change about her. "I guess I'm sad since I got a lot going on."
"I understand," I nodded. "You got every right to be sad, but I wish you weren't sad though."
"Damn straight, I do," she says to me. "Have you talked to your mom lately?"
I nodded. "I just wanted to keep her updated about where we were. She worries about us, you know? Well, I think she might like you better."
"I'm the daughter she always wanted," Hattie says as she turned her head to face me.
"And the sister I never asked for," I said, causing us both to chuckle. "I'm sorry though. For all the things I did to you growing up."
Hattie's eyes turned to the crowd as she processed those words. I knew that it was a long shot for her to forgive me, but I had to know that she knew I feel bad about everything.
"Why were you so mean to me, anyway?" Hattie asked as she turned to face me. "From what I remember, I thought you and I would be friends when we first met. I didn't expect all this hatred to come from me pushing your face into dirt."
I couldn't help but cringe as that memory flashes through my head, but that caused me to remember what happened. Well, most of what happened anyway.
"Well, if I'm remembering correctly, I was the one who started it when I pushed you off that swing," I mentioned to her. "I was in a dark place when we moved there. I didn't want to leave Portland. Funny thing is, I don't remember much except the tree house I had in the backyard."
"You were taking your anger out on me since you missed your tree house?" Hattie questioned as she looked at me with a confused look on her face. "And to think I had problems."
I couldn't help but smirk. "Yeah, those were dark times. But I am sorry. For everything. I didn't know of all the other things happening to you. In school and out, but I'm putting and end to it."
Hattie nodded, but her smile turned into a frown, which caused my heart to drop in my chest. "It doesn't really matter, Jasper. It's not like I'm going back to that place anyway except to get my stuff from the house."
I open my mouth to say something, but then I closed it. Nothing I could say or do would ever change that. For all I knew, this would be the last alone time I'll ever have with Hattie. I'm not exactly on her list of people she likes.
"Is it messed up for me to say that I'm glad you broke your leg?" I asked, but then Hattie's head snapped up. "I don't mean that I was glad you were hurt," I quickly say to smooth everything out. "I'm glad that I got to spend time with you. Even if most of it was getting on your nerves."
Hattie did let out a laugh. "You did get on my nerves quite a bit."
"I am sorry about that, but this has actually been one of the best summers I've had for a while," I tell her. "Even if I was basically your butler."
"You were my butler," she tells me. "And you never brought me that milk from the other week when everyone was over at my house. I had to have dry cereal."
My eyes widen and the mistake I had made. Well, two mistakes. "I did buy it, but it's still in my car."
Hattie let out a loud laugh, but then immediately clamped her hand over her mouth to stop the laughter from coming out. "Hopefully it hasn't exploded from the heat yet."
My jaw dropped. "I haven't thought about that yet. I was in my car this morning and I haven't smelled anything gross."
"That's good then," she says to me. "That smell would never come out."
I chuckled as I looked out towards the road. "We should probably get back to bed."
Hattie sighed, but she reluctantly nodded. I got up from my seat and helped Hattie onto her good foot. She held my hand tightly as I was grabbing her crutches off the ground, and I could feel my heart beating rapidly in my chest.
"Got it?" I asked as she let go of me and placed the crutches under her arms.
She nodded and yawned at the same time. She was relaxing now, so it would be a lot easier for her to fall asleep. "Yeah."
I smile slightly as I opened the front door for us. Hattie stepped in slowly, and once she was in I followed her into the darkness.