A few times that week Nora came around to see me after work twice so far she stayed the night not needing to be sneaky as my Dad was either at work or asleep. Mason on the other hand I was trying to keep quiet to about her. He knew she had been around still but I hadn’t told him she spent the night. He was acting weird this week not coming around after work and not yet making plans for the weekend. It had been almost an entire week since I saw him and although we spoke everyday still even on FaceTime he wasn’t completely there with me, he seemed so distant. I’d tried asking him what was wrong but he lied telling me nothing. A few other mates were going to a house party on Saturday and this weekend I wasn’t working so I agreed to go asking them if Mason was going but they said they hadn’t heard from him yet. I wasn’t going to give him the option.
Party at Pauls Saturday
Im picking u up
Saturday? Okay
At least he was going. I’d see him after what felt like forever! Nora wasn’t invited and I hadn’t told her about it either instead I lied telling her I needed a rest and would see her tomorrow instead. I ignored her messages as I got myself ready to go and pick Mason up praying he was in a good mood. I dressed pretty casual in black ripped jeans and a oversized plain white t-shirt rolling the sleeves up messily at the top to show more of my few tattoos as well as it hanging loose around my neck. For once I left my hair down in its scruffy curls it falling just below my jaw leaving my hair tie around my wrist in case I changed my mind.
Mason didn’t live too far from mine so I waited until the time the party was meant to be starting before I left to go and pick him up. I parked my car in its usual spot on his road I considered just texting him I was here but after so long I didn’t want to be reunited with him in a car where I couldn’t touch him. Instead I hopped out jogging up to his front door I knocked waiting for his answer. I adjusted my jeans on my hips checking down over myself hoping I looked good enough. My eyes snapped up to the sound of the door opening a smile spreading my face right away when I saw him standing there... as handsome as ever. He pulled off looking flawless so easily I don’t even think he sees it himself. He was wearing black jeans too that fit him so snuggly, black and white vans and a dark green t-shirt, a black bomber jacket over the top. All week he must of not shaved as a dark brown stubble littered over his chin styled sharply making how strong his jaw line was even more noticeable. It wrapped up around his upper lip, god it suited him. It wasn’t thin or wispy it was thick real stubble nothing like my baby hair grew. Before I knew it I was reaching for him pulling him into my chest clapping my hands on his back the stress of a week without him leaving me even as I felt he was holding back from me.
“Been too long Prince.” I mumbled into his neck before pulling back leaving one of my hands on his side as I couldn’t help but look down over him again my eye catching on the way his t-shirt had rose a little higher exposing black and white boxers poking from under his jeans.
“I agree.” His looking me over too us both staring at each other him sucking and biting on his lower lip as he did this his tongue slipped out to wet them before he gave me his first real smile. I’ve missed that smile. I forced myself to take some steps back heading to the car to get this party started.
We caught up on the ride over on what we had missed all week again I left out as many details about Nora as I could instead telling him how someone at work was fired for swearing repeatedly at a customer and how my Dad was working away in just over a week and would he mind staying with me. He rolled his head my way grinning. “Oh duh of course. How would you cope without me.” He agreed knowing just how much I hated being home alone especially over night.
Turns out he’d had a crappy week getting into another argument with his Dad and one with his Boss because apparently he wasn’t paying enough attention to customers and he’d given someone dairy free who didn’t need it and they complained their coffee taste like crap. “What about if you had done it the other way around giving lactose to someone whose dairy free?” He mocked how his Boss had shouted at him telling me he was now on his final warning there as earlier in the week someone had made a complaint he was day dreaming instead of listening when taking their order as they stood waiting to be served. Something was on his mind clearly. I’d leave it for now though he would tell me when he wanted to and by the way he was changing the subject to what we were drinking tonight I took the hint it wouldn’t be now he told me.
The house was pretty full with people when we got there instantly making Mason step closer to me his hand slipping onto my lower back which I didn’t mind. “I need a drink.” He whispered to me and I agreed letting him push me towards the kitchen. We didn’t hesitate going straight for the strong stuff well what we could manage anyway, I was planning on driving home as it would cost too much in a taxi and Mason hated strong drinks anyway. People came to us who we hadn’t seen in a while sparking up conversation with us Lance someone who I’d known since childhood was trying to convince me to go with him to meet his girlfriend as we hadn’t seen each other in months but I seen how Mason looked over at me hearing him ask with such concern in his eyes. I turned him down saying I’m sure I’d see her later on and I’d only just got here.
“I was speaking with Mason yesterday man his acting pissy.” He changed the conversation at the mention of his name I was back to looking over at him. Somehow he had been dragged over to the other side of the kitchen with Blair and the two of them looked rather cosy cuddled up close whispering to each other Blair having a huge smile on his face. His eyes moved to me then back to Mason his smile widening. “Hello?” I heard Lance call out to me bringing me back into the conversation with him realising I’d completely just zoned out.
“Sorry. Erm excuse me.” I put my beer down on the table still non the wiser what he had been saying to me I walked right by him without waiting for a reply my sights set and Blair and Mason.
I wasted no time slipping my arm around Mason’s waist pulling him to me looking directly at Blair.
“What are you guys talking about?” I asked not caring if it sounded rude. The two of them looked over at each other not saying anything making things even more awkward. “I didn’t interrupt something did I?” I sounded like a jerk I know but whatever I’d just walked into was something I didn’t like. My arm was still securely around Mason’s waist protectively making me seem like the jealous one. I couldn’t be jealous of them talking but that’s the only reason I’d came over here the way I had.
“No Brand we were just- erm-" Blair was trying to cover something up but failing until Mason spoke up for him saying they were talking about the latest Basketball game.
“Can we talk.” I spoke only to Mason now not giving him time to answer before I was moving my hand onto his taking him with me towards the back door ‘accidentally' making my shoulder hit Blair’s on the way.
Outside there was different music playing. Nobody was out here except a couple of people smoking so I stopped still turning to face Mason as he frowned. “What the hell was that about?” Was the first thing that left his mouth.
“Me? It’s you that’s lingering in corners whispering about me to him?” I spat back almost pacing already and we had only just began talking.
“Who said it was about you?” He seemed taken aback that I knew his eyes wide as he stood perfectly still his once clenched fists opening.
“I could tell Mason. Don’t fuck with me I’m not stupid.” I fake laughed.
“How can you act like this? Like your jealous I was speaking to somebody other than you? News flash Brandon your not the only person I talk with. If anyone is the stupid one it’s you for thinking you could lie and wouldn’t get found out.” He went on his anger rising as he too was pacing back and forth pointing a finger at me as the few people out here turned to look at us.
“Since when have I lied?” I yelled loosing my control.
“Nora has been at your house all week. Yet you wonder why I didn’t want to see you.” Finally. So that’s what he was mad about. I was still seeing Nora. This is him to the T always becoming somebody else the second I get with somebody.
“That makes no sense Mason. I have a girlfriend so you hate me now?” I asked the words hurting as I realised that maybe he did hate me. I couldn’t have that. I’d leave Nora in a heartbeat if he did. I had a massive lump in my throat waiting for his answer.
“No.” He said it like it wasn’t even an option for him. “I guess I just don’t like the thought of you being with someone. Your right. I get jealous.” What does that mean he gets jealous it’s not like she’s another guy, another best friend to replace him nobody could do that. It fell silent us both staring as the song played on in the background the words ringing in my ears adding to my temper as I grew more confused about my own feelings. ‘You make me feel a feeling/That I’ve never felt before/I don’t know if there gonna like it/But that only makes me want it more/cause I’m nobody’s but yours.’
“Well get used to it because I’m not breaking up with her because you don’t like it. Not this time.” My words rang true as I realised a lot of times I’ve been with girls I couldn’t stand the way he would look at me differently meaning I would leave them for him even if he didn’t ask or tell me that was the reason he was being off with me. I should of seen it sooner that that was the case this week too. He was giving me that look and I couldn’t take it. We were hurting each other and for what? He walked away.
He never leaves without us resolving something if anything he backs down first. I wouldn’t forget that final look he gave me. If looks could kill, I felt like they could. I waited a few minutes before heading inside too planning on attempting to talk to him again he was with Blair though my mind changing in an instant heading off into the living room without him not caring he watched me leave.
The house was small so no matter how much we were trying to ignore each other it was impossible. I had my eyes on him at all times even dancing with Blair as he fed him more alcohol to the point I’m sure I seen Mason lean into Blair his eyes fixed on his mouth. Blair pulled away very quickly the two of them laughing as if it was just a joke but Blair looked over to me the second they stopped as if he was apologising to me. I was fuming. People were trying to talk to me and I was aware I was being blunt and rude but then even as I tried to focus on a normal conversation my mind would go blank and before I knew it I’m staring at him again.
Blair was letting him drink too much. I was about to head over when they came this way falling into the empty seat beside me. I ignored it going back to fake listening to Lance and his girlfriend now. I heard Mason laughing about something my stomach flipping how he could when I’m so mad at him. I rolled my head in disbelief to look at him. “Do me a favour-" I began my voice pure rage for his behaviour but he just chuckled with a sigh tipping his head back on the sofa clearly not listening to me anyway. I sat back all the way in my seat like he was well he was lay back his feet stretched out in front of him Blair between us sitting on the edge. I was staring at him again only this time he knew it. It was obvious. Everybody could tell as Lance had stopped his talking at some point and Blair was silent staring at the floor ahead. Mason reached out behind Blair for me his hand on the back of the sofa coming to me to gently swipe his fingertips on my bicep his eyes full of forgiveness again softening me. Fuck.
“Sorry this is too awkward. I’m out.” Blair interrupted standing but wobbling stumbling back down but landing in Mason’s lap the two of them bursting out laughing neither one of them making a start to move. Just like that my smile was gone again.
“Get a room you too.” Lance’s girlfriend called to them making me roll my eyes in annoyance moving to the edge of the sofa contemplating leaving, but then he wouldn’t have a ride...
“Okay okay stop pulling a bitch face Brandon I’m moving. Here have him back.” Blair winked dragging himself from his lap to the floor still between us instead. “Just fuck already.” He lifted his hand over his head putting it on his knee. Can he really not just keep his hands off him. I was staring daggers between Blair and his hand on Mason as soon as it was removed I wasn’t even thinking replacing it with my own. Mason didn’t even acknowledge it there so I removed it just as quickly as it got there.
Everyone was testing me tonight. Some guy came over to the sofa from behind wrapping his arms around Mason’s neck whispering something to him the two of them laughing together. I couldn’t stand all of this much longer. The hour and a half we had been here felt like an eternity and the more I stayed the more worked up I got. Not only was I hating everyone touching him but I didn’t understand why. Why would it even matter if someone had their hands on him especially guys... Is this how he feels about Nora? Again I was reaching back to this person my hand on his chest I forced him back this time getting Mason’s attention. He was smirking at me like he was enjoying this. At least one of us was. He was drunk or at least he was acting it and I was as sober as the minute we walked in here.
This guy was looking at me like I’d lost my mind moving him away from Mason but when he saw us looking at each other my face like thunder Masons amused he backed off. I leant across the seat to him closest tonight we had been other than when we walked in here together bringing my lips to his ear. “Please can we leave.” I was almost begging him. I couldn’t torture myself here anymore and I needed to talk to him. Tell him I think I understand his jealously finally. That I will be more careful with Nora in the future.
“In a bit love.” He patted my thigh, a nickname his never used with me before. It made my stomach flip and even after everything tonight even with an answer I didn’t want to hear my lips still curled into a smile. I’m sure Blair had heard he was still pretty close but if he did he didn’t comment on it.
I sat for the next ten minutes sulking waiting for him to be ready to leave. Occasionally I’d look over giving him threatening eyes and he would wink back at me my head instantly spinning away from him. Or I’d here his laugh and look over at him not able to stop as I looked down over his body taking note of the small things like how he always sat with one foot on its side the other on top his legs falling apart. He would be looking at me sometimes too this hungry look in his eyes I’d never seen him give anyone else. I’d seen it once before, last year for my birthday when he was going down on some girl in front of me... He was purposely winding me up tonight acting all flirty knowing it annoyed me... was it annoying me or was I annoyed and him pretending to flirt to make me jealous was him making me madder getting back at me for Nora?
Some girl came over falling between us stealing my eyes from him to look over her body. She was drunk so didnt care her skirt was dangerously high almost flashing her underwear if she was even wearing any... She was tiny I could break her with one touch something I hated about women. They were so fragile. I loved rough sex, I wanted to throw them around and take control but I always backed out just when I wanted more because I was scared I’d hurt them. Subconsciously I moved my eyes from her body to Mason’s licking my lips... Mason on the other hand- no stop. I’m not thinking about throwing him up the wall. Definitely not. I moved from his body to his eyes. He looked mad again. “We are going now.” He stood staring down at me my body lagging for a minute not realising he meant like right now apparently it was urgent.
He took off as I stood up straightening my trousers waving to Lance as I knew I probably wouldn’t see him anytime soon. I followed out after Mason, he was already leant against the car so I picked my pace up to get to him quicker unlocking the car as I went so he could get inside. We were both silent as I kicked the car into gear his heavy breathing just as loud as mine neither of us wanting to be the one who started the arguing. I pulled from the pavement signalling into the road I was joining wondering if I should put the radio on... “Are we going to mi-" I began but he interrupted ordering I take him home.
“Okayyyy...” I dragged him being even more of an ass than me. “I will sleep on the sofa we can talk about this tomorrow if you sleep at mine.” I tried starting the unwinding of our tension but he wasn’t ready yet to give in.
“I don’t want to fucking sleep over. Just take me home.” He rose his voice his jaw twitching as I flicked my eyes between him and the road ahead. It was dark and hard to see any normal time so the more he began arguing the harder driving safely was becoming as he blinded me.
“Don’t act such a bastard. Okay I was wrong spying on your conversation with Blair but you got to stop over reacting!” I yelled back my grip on the steering wheel tightening.
“Huh. So I’m a bastard nice one. You can’t tell me not to feel something.” He mumbled making me frown over at him.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I snapped. I wish he would just tell me what’s been up with him recently. His always hot and cold and the way he broke down last weekend we still hadn’t talked about what it was truly over. He was silent still chewing his lip as if thinking about telling me. “Mason just say whatever you’ve been wanting to tell me already.” I yelled. I’d tell him anything...
“You wouldn’t understand.” He sank lower in his seat turning his face away to look out his passenger window. I slammed on the breaks making him slam his hands on the dashboard and glare at me. “What the fuck?” He screamed at me as I rolled the car bumping it up the curb parking it just in front of a lamppost.
“Try me. You think I wouldn’t understand fine but tell me something at least Mason because I’m getting real sick of all the secrets.” I boomed over him, he rolled his eyes.
“What like your secrets? Why do you break up with every girl you date Brandon?” He questioned looking as though he knew something I didn’t.
“I don’t know. Because...” He interrupted me. “Because you get on with me better?” I didn’t understand. I was speechless for a second.
“I don’t see what that has to do with you.” I stumbled to think of why that was relevant. How did he know that though because I hadn’t ever told him other than the other week and I’d of thought it meant so little to him when I did that he’d of forgotten by now.. I always tell the women I dump that there’s someone else, not realising until today when all them guys were touching him that maybe by someone else I meant him...
“I’m jealous? I’m controlling? You couldn’t even let a guy touch me in there without pushing them away. What about a girl? Could you watch them kiss me like I do you? Could you sit by and get off when across the room your best friend is getting laid because I couldn’t.” His eyes were locked onto mine not even blinking as he swallowed hard the lump in his throat. It was me that broke the stare to look down over his body so close to mine as he sat turned in his seat to face me. “Your not so innocent yourself Brandon. Don’t look at me like that.” He caught my chin forcing my eyes up to his again.
“Or what?” I asked my voice shaking. I don’t know what he was trying to say but it was all true. I felt like I was testing the water here waiting for him to show me what I think he was trying to say... He was chewing his mouth again a smirk coming across him as he devoured my lips with his eyes before looking up into mine. My breath came out jittery, staggered and just like that he was pressing his lips into mine with such pressure. I didn’t move for a second too scared what the hell this was. I couldn’t even think, did I want to kiss him back? Did I like this? I was staring wide eyed in shock at him still his eyes open to as he stayed perfectly still neither one of us moving. Before I knew it he was pulling away wiping me from his mouth his eyes adverted embarrassed.
It gave me a second to think. I took his cheek into my palm and pulled his face back to mine forcing my lips on his again. I hadn’t realised until his lips weren’t on mine how badly I wanted him. He wasted no time kissing me back but with more need this time now he knew I wanted this too. His hands came over to me one tangling in my hair and the other on my stomach pushing up exploring my chest as his tongue ran over my lower lip making me gasp at the feeling my mouth opening for him to explore further. This was nothing like any kiss I’d had before. It was more heated more passionate my entire body craved him. It was only us here, I wasn’t thinking about anything but us and how good this felt. But just as quickly as I realised I liked kissing him I needed more to satisfy me. I needed more and he did too as his hand bunched into my t-shirt pushing it out the way as his wrist dragged across my bare chest. The only sound I could hear was that of both our heavy breathing, no cars passing us, nobody talking as they walked by the car, just us and his small moans as he tried getting my top off. I reached for him my hand on his thigh squeezing it trailing it higher towards his dick hoping he was as turned on as me at this point. I couldn’t reach him so I sat up to climb across the seats to him. He moaned in agreement pulling me over to him too. I feel like I have no time to think about what I’m doing. It doesn’t matter. I don’t care that I’m kissing my straight best friend or that we are both liking it trying to get more of each other. I’m lost in him.
In all the urgency neither one of us realised I had leant on the handbrake. Us both being shocked out of what we were doing as my car front ended the lamppost.
“Shit.” I jumped to get out the car pausing to wipe my mouth running my hand through my hair as I walked around to the front of the car to observe the damage not getting a moment to think about what had just happened.
“Is it okay?” Mason’s voice reminded me though a million questions forming. Was I gay? Did I like my best friend? Did he like me? Was he gay? Since when? What does this mean? I was staring blankly at the non existentant space between my bumper and the lamppost the sound of his huffed single laugh making me look up at him.
“Are you okay?” He grinned at me. God that smile could make me melt. I’d be okay but right now I’m freaking out inside. I groaned again running my hand through my hair dropping my head onto the door frame of my car. It didn’t look too damaged we were already parked pretty close to it anyway so we hadn’t rolled far.
“I’ll be okay.” I spoke mostly to myself. We weren’t fighting anymore and he wasn’t looking at me like he hated me... that was something at least. “Are you-" I was about to say okay but he interrupted me saying gay making me laugh and shake my head. “Okay. Are you okay?” I repeated my question correcting him. Right now I didn’t care what he was as long as he was my friend still and not hurting.
“Perfectly fine. Kind of.” He whispered. Okay... we were good. I nodded gently pulling away from the car a little scared to get back into it but not having another choice. I couldn’t leave it here much longer like this or people driving past will start stopping to check on us.
“We should go.” I whispered scared to make eye contact with him but when I did his lips were swollen, red smirking at me. His hair was a mess and his eyes were black narrowed in on me making me squirm. I’d made him look like that... I didn’t notice he had agreed with me and was getting into my car into I heard him laugh again. How was he so present so certain?
Maybe because he’d been drinking. Fuck. He was drunk still. He didn’t know what he was doing and tomorrow he would hate me for letting that happen. For enjoying it. And what would of happened if the car wouldn’t of moved? I was in trouble.