Why do I still have to sit in misery
and contemplate my own death?
If you feel nothing for me anymore
then don't bring my fucking hopes up.
I need to get over you, I really do
because there's no way we have a chance.
You'll never love me again because I'm me
and do you really love this new kid? I don't believe it.
I don't know what to think anymore
and my dreams are confusing as fuck.
Why do I feel so lonely and sad all the time?
I can't tell you any of my problems
because all you'll do is feel sorry for me
and that's even worse than hurting this bad inside.
Life is too much for this fucked up kid
and he believes that death is the only easy way out.
No one can convince him otherwise, no one should try.
I wish I wasn't this kid, I wish my life was good
but I can't live without the person I love.
I feel so numb inside, I feel like I'm losing blood
but not really because that's a good feeling
compared to this feeling right now.
I haven't felt this feeling in a very long time,
but maybe I should reopen some old scars.
I should just let the darkness consume me
because my existence really means nothing
and who would care about some random dead kid?
The last emotion I would feel is satisfaction
because I know you and the whole fucking school
would watch the news as they said I killed myself
and that I was far too young to die.
One thing they wouldn't be saying is what a good kid I was
and how stupendously I did in school
and how the community is greatly affected by this loss
because none of that would be true.
Why are all these images I'm seeing so vivid?
Maybe it's just destined to be.
Is this the stupid fucking reason I've been put on this earth?