SORRY EVERYONE, HAD NO INTERNET. NEXT UPLOAD WILL HOPEFULLY BE TOMORROW!
love you all xx
p.s the guy on the side is Mack ------->
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Leaning forward and wrapping an arm around my waist gently he cups my cheek after the longest moment and the second I felt his breath caress my lips my instincts took over as I did what I did best. Closed my eyes and waited…
And then our lips met…
And I felt the warmth spread through me…
And then I jerked away with a horrified gasp.
~~
Why is he doing this to me? I’m trying to push him away! Can’t he see that?
'Stop! Can't you see I'm trying to push you away?' I asked quietly, painfully as I stepped away only to find my back pressed against the car.
'Why Angel, why are you doing this? Is it because of your father? Because I don't care about-'
'No, Jace, it's not,' tears blurred my vision but as I went to walk away he grabs me by the waist gently and pulls me toward him, our faces and lips only a breath away it made my breathing hitch.
I swallowed, eyes dropping down to his lips immediately as tingles exploded around my body.
'What is it then Angel?' he asks quietly, hurt and pain filling his features yet again it seemed so wrong on him... so so wrong...
'Let me go,' I sobbed trying to push him off, 'please, just let me go.'
But he shakes his head and tightens his grip around me it made me yearn for more of him but my heart could take no more.
'Jace-!'
'Tell me, please, just tell me. Why are you trying so hard to push me away?' he persists voice starting to get louder as I shoved against his chest over and over.
‘Please,’ I begged hitting him now by how much I wanted, no needed, to get away from him before I do anything stupid.
‘Just tell me Claire, help me out here,’ he says only tightening his hold so I bodies were pressed so close it was intoxicating.
Claire…
'I'm dying okay?! I'm dying and I don't want to hurt you any more than I already have... I'm... I'm dying,' by now I've stopped hitting and shoving on his chest and his hold around me had slackened I wondered if they were even still on me.
His emotion? I wasn't so sure considering tears were officially running down my cheeks and blinding me.
'Does... does Mack know?' he ask quietly, and when I gave a soft push he finally lets me go and steps away.
I sniffed and shook my head, 'no. And I'm planning to keep it that way because I'm leaving soon,' I smiled through my tears sadly, 'I'm leaving and you're both going to be okay with it,' I said stepping away and rubbing away my tears.
'No. No I'm not going to be okay with it-'
'You will Jace... because if you liked me as much as you say you do… You'd leave me be,' I turned and walked off then, walking fast, walking away.
Why did he have to come? Whywhywhy?
More tears blurred my eyes as uncontrollable sobs broke through me with each step I took as I picked up speed, soon finding myself running to whoknowswhere.
Why did I have to be dying? Why couldn't it have come earlier? Before any of this happened?
How many days did I even have left? A year? Less? Mor-
‘Hey sweet child,’ a hand yanks me and pushes me against something before I could even realise what was happening and only then did I realise I was unconsciously running back home, thinking that I still lived there… thinking that my mother would be there…
My breath catches and fear freezes everything inside of me including tears as my father’s dark brown eyes glared at me. So dark… so menacing…
'I found you,' a voice sneers as I find the man I hate standing in front of me.
I whimper but not a moment later I find myself flat against a fence with a forearm pushing against my windpipe. I wheeze and pathetically try to make him let go.
'So, little rat, you ready to come back?' he asks a cruel smile reaching his face as he held my gaze.
I sniffled and tried hard to get my breath back only to fail.
Cars. Where are the cars? Where are the people? We're in front of an open road for goodness sake!
Stars danced across my vision and the second I stopped trying to hit at him he lets me go only to cause me to fall to the ground harshly and scrape the knee I landed on.
'You wanna start the game now do you Claire?' he asks squatting in front of me as I tried vainly to get my breath back.
I shook my head violently.
He grins.
'So why oh why are you here little girl?' he asks in a voice so perfect and serene it made me sick.
I gasped for air, a sob catching in my throat but sticking there, not wanting to come out. Sticking there and making my gasping worse.
'Who should I start with do you reckon?' he puts a hand on my shoulder but when I jerk away his fingers dig into me, keeping me still as a car goes by without a care. Tears spring in my eyes at the pain and I duck my head down so my hair covered my face as I blinked rapidly. He lets go and stands up properly, wiping his hand on his pants as if he touched something disgusting.
My breath was back. And so was my hatred and fear that had always been there.
And now that I looked at this man towering over me, like really looked at him, my hatred and fear turned into something more.
Anger.
Pure raw anger.
I stood up and as much as I was almost two heads shorter than my so called father, I no longer felt insignificant and exposed. I felt strong and big. I felt angry.
‘No,’ I said feebly at first, having said my first word to my father in years, standing my ground as amusement and surprise flickered in his eyes.
‘No?’ he asks, a grin spreading to his face.
I ground my teeth together as he stepped forward but I didn’t dare move an inch.
‘No,’ I said again. He opens his mouth to no doubt say how much I amused him or something but I step forward and cut him off, anger and hatred coming off me in waves as I finally, for once in my life, looked him hard in the eyes. ‘No, I will not let you hurt the people I love. No, I will not let you step all over me like I am less than nothing. No, I will not let you try to run my life anymore.
‘I am your daughter. I shouldn’t be treated this way no matter what you think of me… I didn’t kill Nathan and you know It.’ Tears blurred my eyes as shock settled in his own; a million other emotions whirring about as he surprisingly listened to my blabber, or at least had whatever decency to shut up.
‘All these years I blamed myself. All these years you’ve hurt me… And I… I let you. You were my father and yet you might as well have killed me. You were my father and you made my life shit. You made me wish I was dead,’ I was crying by now, crying past embarrassment. And I think it was the fact that he hadn’t heard me say a single thing against him since I was born that made him fall into silent shock. That or he never really realised how much he’s affected me.
‘I hate you,’ I sobbed clenching my shaking hands as my tears ran freely down my face shamelessly. ‘I hate you I hate you I hate you. I hate you!’
He swallows audibly and for the life of me I could swear hurt and pain flashed across his eyes too fast that I knew I imagined it. His mouth opens. He looks away. And for the first time since the world had shifted and changed beneath my feet… he walked away.
After realising how cold I was sitting on the snow covered walkway I finally pulled out the phone from my pocket with numb fingers, finally acknowledging the continuous vibrating as someone called.
I swallowed. Blinked.
'Hello?' I croaked knowing who it'd be without even checking.
'Where are you B? Where the hell did you go?' he says and even sitting here on the cold wet ground I could practically see him clenching his jaw and fists as he paced where ever he was...
'I'm... I'm on Parakeet road... near my house...' I said quietly.
A noise comes from his end and I knew he had flinched away.
'I'm on my way.' He says, merely uttering a goodbye before he hung up and left me realising how numb my whole body felt.
I think I might catch hypothermia...
I forced myself up on wobbly numb legs. Wrapping my arms around myself as I stared off at nothing.
He walked away... I couldn't help but think for the millionth time since he left over an hour ago. He walked away...
'Claire,' a voice practically squeaks as arm envelope me from out of nowhere. I blink.
Mack.
'What happened? Are you okay? Did... Did he come? Are you hurt?' questions came tumbling out of his mouth as he examined my face, his brow pulled together as he cupped my cheeks in his hands as if I'd suddenly disappear.
'I'm going to talk to someone...' I said from out nowhere, cutting him off mid-rant.
'What?' he asks taken aback for a moment and blinking in confusion.
I meet his eyes steadily and I felt as if a whole new power and person had taken over me, telling me the right thing to do. 'I'm going to talk to someone... about what's bothering me...'
'You are?' he asks dumbfounded as he assessed whether I was lying or not.
'I talked to him Mack. I finally talked against him... I yelled at him...' I smiled feebly as I looked off at the distance. 'I hurt him... and he... He walked away.'
Mack opens his mouth, joy, confuse, amazement and so much more shining in his eyes.
But what was there to say?
Wrapping me up in a warm embrace we stood there enjoying our silence, our joy and our thoughts.
But there was nothing for me to joy about. I knew my life will be far from joyful, whether or not my father chose to walk away for now... or forever...
Like most people do.
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sorry if this chapter isn't that good!
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