"You kids should head home," Desiree peeked through her fingers at the policeman wading towards them through a nest of burnt planks and ashes.
Taehyung stood next to her amidst the rubble. His were eyes dark and serious, his hands plastered to the back his neck. He massaged it with a pained expression.
"Yeah, he's right. We should probably go." He touched her arm before walking away.
Desiree's feet crunched noisily over the charred debris as she followed after him.
She had to skip a few steps to keep up and when she did. Her heart sank to see Taehyung making his way, alone to his car.
"Hey," Des called out, "Aren't you going to take me with you?" She wondered aloud.
Both their eyes darted to her own red Beetle parked right where it was left the night before.
"Des....you should go home." Taehyung said.
Desiree had no idea what she was feeling right now but after the incident, the only thing she knew was that she didn't want to be alone.
"Take me with you." She shouted in his direction making Taehyung turn around. "Please.."
Taehyung had already settled into the drivers seat of his car and was rolling the window down to let out the humid heat from inside.
His features creased in uncertainty whilst mulling over her request in his head.
"Des, you should really go home. Rest. Its been a long night for everyone and.... there's some stuff I need to take care of back at..."
Taehyung's speech was cut off by the faltering look in the young girl's eyes.
"Des.." His emotions crumbled as she shuffled forward coming closer.
Her small fingers curling themselves tightly around the handle of his car-door. He looked down and saw her knuckles going white as she squeezed it and he noticed the slight shaking of her body.
Her knew he couldn't leave her on her own.
Not like this.
Taehyung pursed his lips together. Fingers gripped around the hot leather of the steering wheel, he grunted to the young girl.
"Get in."
***
Sitting in the warmth of his lap, Desiree closed her tired eyes and leaned her head back against the broad shoulders of her lover.
The heat of his muscular chest against her enveloped her fragile form with warmth making her feel safe.
Taehyung closed his long fingers around hers and even though every single thing seemed to be going wrong in the world for the two, In this small moment, it was all okay.
That was until he caressed the stack of beads and bracelets Desiree always kept stacked around her wrists. The girl half-asleep in his arms took no notice as he lovingly examined the colourful beads and strings. Then he stopped.
"Des..."
Her eyes snapped open, hearing the discomfort in his voice and then she realised a little bit too late, snatching her wrists out of his grasp.
"Taehyung it's not what you think it is..." Her bright hazel eyes, large and contrite met his.
And Taehyung saw how broken and fearful she was.
He'd done this.
Taehyung hated to admit it to himself. He was destroying her.
That bright and beautiful girl he'd met a year ago...she was fading away because of him.
The faded pink scars decorating her skin proved it.
Tears welled up in her eyes as she held his gaze desperately and shook her head, 'no' as if she could read his mind.
Taehyung swallowed the lump in his throat, working up the will to speak, "Des, did you...did you hurt yourself?"
Desiree hung her head feeling ashamed.
She couldn't mistake the note of disbelief at the end of Taehyung's question.
She wanted to make something up, hide the truth but Des had a feeling that he already knew. He was only asking to hear it come straight from her own mouth.
Taehyung wasn't a fool. He had more experience in the world than she did and marks like the ones he'd just seen were all too distinct in their nature.
Any other made-up reason would be hard to justify.
Her lips shook in admission.
All Des wanted was to be perfect. Now, Taehyung would know just how weak and pathetic she was?
She felt her heart break in two.
Don't leave..
"Tae, I didn't mean to... it was a mistake and I only did it a few times." She pleaded.
She watched a tear fall from Taehyung's glassy brown eyes.
He looked petrified.
"I'm sorry.." She mumbled stifling a sob.
Taehyung got up from the grass and fisted his hair in frustration, "What is there for you to be sorry about, Des?"
He asked this without looking at her.
Was it disgust or disappointment why Taehyung wouldn't look at her? Alarm rang through her body.
"Fuck!" Taehyung exclaimed.
He rubbed at his temples.
"I did this to you!" He mumbled, "And... what happened to your Dad's place last night? I fucking caused that too!"
Desiree felt her heart-rate speed up.
What did he mean about last night? Yes, he'd taken her away from the Bar unexpectedly but she was the one who should've been more careful and locked up properly.
She couldn't believe Taehyung had been blaming himself this entire time for her own stupidity. This made her feel worse.
A sob of regret fought its way from her throat.
"The fire wasn't your fault, Tae. And....the cutting....it was just a one-time thing. It was so long ago! I won't do it again. You have to believe me."
"When?"
He finally raised his head.
"When what?" Desiree asked tearfully.
Taehyung's gaze was suddenly steely and the young girl felt frightened about the ramifications of her past mistake. Everything was going so well and in an instant it'd been all been turned upside down.
She hesitated to answer.
"When did you hurt yourself, Des?"
Desiree fidgeted.
"After....it was after I found out about Natalie and the engagement." She answered slowly.
Taehyung's face twisted into a wry smile.
He knew it!
After all, this is what he always did; Bring hurt and pain to the ones he loved.
The word felt like a bitter potion lodged in his throat now. He hated it.
Love.
What a joke it was. For him to fool himself into thinking for a second that he deserved anything a little bit like it.
Des bit her lip, salt flooding her tastebuds and more tears gathered at the borders of her eyes.
"Tae it wasn't..."
But the words died on her tongue.
Taehyung stood up and so did she.
He took a deep breath, the coastal air was heavy around them and a savoury strong wind whipped at their clothes, the sharp sting of it nearly blinding their eyes.
He squinted at the girl he loved, yes loved.
As much as it broke him to admit.
And now he was cripplingly fearful of what would happen to her if he didn't walk away now?
"Desiree I don't think we should do this anymore."
"Do what?" She answered shakily.
".....keep seeing each other."
Her eyes widened in dismay.
"No! Tae, no you can't do this."
She rushed forward and took a hold of his t-shirt. Tugging on it desperately so that he would look into her eyes.
"I made a stupid mistake, baby. I won't do it again. Look at us, we're happy now. It won't ever happen again. I swear it!"
Taehyung only stiffened.
He didn't meet her gaze, he didn't wrap his arms around her like Des wanted so badly for him to in that moment.
Taehyung closed his eyes in agony at the soft feeling of her head leaning against his heart and the wet feeling of her tears soaking through his t-shirt. Her small hands pawed at his hard body.
"Don't I get to have any say in this? I don't wanna' break up, Tae."
Taehyung felt lost as Desiree clung to him not letting go.
"I thought you said you loved me..." She whimpered, "Doesn't that mean anything?
Taehyung felt sick with sadness. It was only when he hiccupped that he realised, he was crying too.
He finally put his arms around her.
She felt so warm, so perfect in his arms. It was killing him to think about what life would be like for him without this.
"Des, what I made you do to yourself was terrible," He whispered, "And I'm scared that it might just be the beginning of the pain and suffering you might have to endure being with me."
"That's not true!" She shook in his embrace.
"Des listen to me," Taehyung held her tight and kept his lips close to her ear.
"I never told anyone this but when I was born, my Dad blamed and hit my mom everyday for getting pregnant with me. He never wanted kids and I was an accident. He hated her for it. My Mom loved me anyway. And the more she loved me, the more he hurt her. Her hurt her until she died. She loved me until it killed her, Des."
Desiree gasped, her fingers twisting around his t-shirt. Her heart broke for the only man she loved and ever wanted to love.
"Now I am doing the same to you. Look at what happened to you Des, and now your dad's business is burned to the ground because of me."
Desiree still didn't understand. She quickly opened her mouth again to protest but Taehyung held a silencing finger lightly over her lips.
"Just try to forget me, babygirl. You can do better than me. You're so beautiful, so special. I'm sorry I was ever so selfish. I'm sorry that I ever did this to you."
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✨ BJF ✨