"SO, do you want to talk about it yet?"
Yeosang lowers his head. His fingers trace the fabric of my sheets with my blanket thrown over his shoulders as he hugs a pillow to his chest. The soup he had was long gone now, his bowl empty in the kitchen sink and we both sit on top of my bed, facing each other.
I could tell the gears in his mind turning, probably debating whether he should tell me or not. But he sighs before collapsing back on the bed, letting himself buried under my blanket.
"Donghoon hyung came home last night," Yeosang begins, voice a little muffled but I hear him clearly. "With another girl."
My eyes widen. Another one?
Kang Donghoon, Yeosang's infamous brother was... one of a kind. I've known him for almost as long as I've known my best friend. The two of them are only two years apart, hence why they were pretty close when we were smaller. Wherever Donghoon went was also where Yeosang went, whatever Donghoon did was also what Yeosang did — it was as if they were conjoined twins. The three of us were inseparable, along with my other best friend at the time, Lee Saera. So it was the four of us against the whole world.
However, in year eleven, Yeosang and I got into a pretty big fight with Saera for getting involved with the wrong people. She never talked to us ever again afterwards, and I'm guessing Donghoon was on her side. So our friendship split into two, with Donghoon slowly following Saera close behind. Yeosang and I watched them from the sidelines, each day getting more and more ruined by who knows what destructive things they did. One time when I was over at Yeo's house, Donghoon came home drunk and started to violently throw things around and another time, Donghoon almost broke my arm for stopping him meeting this 'acquaintance' of his.
I guess it reached its worst when Saera got into an accident and that broke Donghoon into pieces. She was in a comatose for a very long time, Donghoon started to lose hope. Yeosang and I were also extremely worried, she was our best friend too. Every day we would watch Donghoon watch her and sometimes holding his breath whenever her breathing slowed down. In early year twelve, Saera passed in her sleep and that was Donghoon's breaking point.
He yelled at me, he yelled at Yeosang, blaming us for not staying by her side after the fight. "This is all. Your. Fault! If you'd been on her side all this time, she would still be here!" I can still hear his shouts sometimes. He yelled at his parents, got involved in a lot of endless arguments and it seemed as if he was angry at himself too.
I've never seen anyone as broken as Donghoon at the time. He was never smiling, he came home drunk a lot and got into a lot of fistfights, he brought girls, a different one every time and his temper, oh my Goodness his temper. Yeosang's parents got very worried — Donghoon was obviously depressed and he had a hard time moving on. He was a very different person to the one we knew as kids.
Donghoon managed to graduate (trust me, I also don't actually know how), barely even making it out of high school and he started to work instead of heading to university like all of his friends are. He moved out of the house but got evicted from his new motel-like apartment room because he missed rent payment for almost 6 months. But he went out often, even until now, rarely going home. He'd even go as far as only coming back once every 3 months or so, would cause a huge fight in the house only for him to leave the very next day.
"Where did he stay this time?" I ask Yeo quietly.
"Somewhere hours from here, I guess," my best friend answers, "the girl wasn't even bad. Oh my God, Shin, she was so nice."
"But I think mum accidentally set him off and suddenly he was screaming, dad was screaming and Jinah was crying," he continues, almost sobbing now. "I was so scared..."
"Oh, Sangie..." Yeosang reaches for my hug, breaking under my embrace. My hand strokes his back, the other one wiping his tears as he sobs into my chest.
"H-hyung started throwing things, and mum got mad, so mad. I've never seen her this angry before. Dad was with Jinah, trying to calm her down, telling hyung to shut up and I guess I got too overwhelmed and the first place I could think of was here."
My heart clenches in heartbreak seeing Yeosang like this. I was never one to be able to comfort someone else, Yeosang was always the one giving me comfort whenever I felt down and now our roles are reversed. Honestly, I'm trying my best but I feel like it's not enough. Yeosang is still hurting.
"What if he never comes back once he leaves tomorrow?" he asks in a hushed voice, looking up at me through his glass-teared eyes, holding me much tighter.
That's something about Yeosang I admire — how he loves someone truly with all his heart. Even his brother, who has nothing but hurt him in the past few years, he still thinks about him. His eyes hold so much worry and fear.
What if he never comes back?
"No, Sangie, he will," I assure him softly, "he always does."
"But mum sounded really angry, I think she's had enough of him this time..."
"Don't say that! Your mum loves Donghoon very much," I scold him, slapping him lightly on the arm. However, I panic when Yeosang's eyes fill with more tears and so I quickly pull him closer, rocking him back and forth to stop him from crying.
"It's okay, Yeo-Yeo..." I repeat over and over again in a slight whisper.
We don't speak for a while. I can hear his sniffles once in a while and he always wipes his tear with the sleeve of his hoodie. It's like I'm cradling a baby; my best friend curled up in my lap, his arms wrapped around my waist and face buried on the crook of my neck. At times when he starts to sob all over again, he tightens his arms around me and I'm scared if I let him go, he will break.
"I feel so bad for JInah," he speaks after the silence passes. Yeosang sits back up, his shoulders a little slumped and rakes back his hair away from his face. "She had to come home to that. She must've been so terrified..."
"She's fine, Sangie, your dad must've taken care of her."
"I hope so."
Sighing, I give Yeosang a small smile. "Come on, don't be sad," I tell him, shoving his shoulder playfully. "Let's have some Hyeshin-Yeosang time, yeah?" I suggest, getting up from the bed then offering my hand for him to grab and haul himself off the sheets. "That's it... come on, let's have some fun!"
Not an hour later, we are in the familiar roastery, with the air of cream and coffee filling our nostrils and warmth at our feet. Yeosang's mood seems to be a little bit higher now as he cups his mug of chai tea with his hands covered in the sleeves of his jumper. Although I remember him saying that this place is getting a little too boring to him, I can see him clearly enjoying the small conversation between him and one of the baristas, Yunho. The three of us are sitting at a round table, Yeosang and I sitting across each other and the barista sitting on my left side as he takes a breather from his shift, he says.
Yunho is pretty new at the shop, maybe only started about a month ago but he's definitely drawn a lot of attention. Why wouldn't he? The male was like the embodiment of perfection. He sports bright blue hair and to match his bright hair, his personality was just as bubbly. Yunho loves to talk, he's always grinning and had one of the squishiest smiles I know. Not only that, but he was also really tall. He towers over everyone however he walks in tiny and you can tell it's him from miles away.
The blue-haired laughs as he sees Yeosang's face blossoming in pink and I watch them with amusement. Yeosang seems to be enjoying his company more than I thought and honestly I don't even feel left out right now. It's like watching a teen movie but live. Especially when Yunho was about to get up and leave, he didn't forget to leave him his number written messily on a piece of napkin with his cheap waiter pen. He flashes a bright smile for Yeosang and I swear I could see my best friend literally almost melting.
"Yunho!" a voice calls from across the room.
"Oh- gotta go!" he chirps, hopping out from his chair, "see you two later, it was nice getting to know you!"
As the barista skips back to return to behind the counter, Yeosang lets himself drop his body on the table, outstretching both of his hands. I hear him sigh dreamily and he looks at me with his chin placed on his palms. "He's so cool..." he gushes.
Laughing, I kick his shin lightly. I've never seen Yeosang act like this before, this new scene in front of me is entertaining, to say the least. "Stop it, you have heart eyes for him already." I sip my drink loudly just to annoy him.
"Am not!"
"Are too!" I wiggle my brows.
"Whatever," he grumbles, clicking his tongue at an annoyed tone. "He's such a mood lifter."
"You're right about that one. I'm glad you're feeling better now." And I truly do. After what happened last night and the emotions he felt because of it, he deserves one good thing for today and I'm happy that his one good thing came in the form of Yunho.
"Me too..." he trails into silence. Then Yeosang taps my hand, catching my attention. I look up from my drink to see him with his lips almost pulling up in a smirk. "And you, my friend, Park Seonghwa! He's nice, I like him. And he made food, so I double like him."
"Seriously?"
My best friend shrugs. "People who cook for me are instantly my friend," he tells me casually, "he could be your other half, you know? Because you definitely need someone to cook for you. I don't want you to get food poisoned."
I flick a napkin at his face. "I know you're trying to insult me in the nicest way possible. Are you saying I'm not your friend?"
Yeosang lets out a sheepish laugh but after a few 'hehe's, his face falls, as if coming into a realisation.
"You didn't tell him about Donghoon hyung, though, right?" he asks carefully.
"No, why would I?"
"I don't know... it just seems like he knows that I wasn't feeling the greatest today when one: we only just met and two: you didn't tell him anything."
"Seonghwa is a mum friend, it would be weird if he didn't," I laugh and tap my finger at my temple, "it's his sixth sense, his instinct."
Yeosang rolls his eyes. "I guess so," he says. "Thanks for not telling him. I'm not ready for another person to know about Donghoon hyung just yet."
"It's something personal, of course I wouldn't," I reply before ruffling his hair once he finishes his drink. "You want to head out again?" I ask, nodding my head in the direction of the door.
"Sure! Just after I take a small pic of Yunho..."
We giggle out of the shop, eyes focused on his phone screen which showed a zoomed picture of the said blue-haired barista with his face twisted in pain after touching something hot. Yeosang pulls out the napkin Yunho wrote on earlier, quickly types in the numbers in the keypads before setting the said picture on his contact info.
Seeing Yeosang's mood switch completely different from earlier makes me feel good inside. I know that he's still upset but he doesn't show it on his face and instead wears his signature small smile. It relieves me when he returns to normal Yeosang who's always judging how the streets looked and how they could've put rubbish bins somewhere else instead of the middle of the footpath.
Mission cheering Yeosang up, accomplished!
+
it's almost 12 in the morning and i'm so fucking hungry man, like you don't even know. and i'm listening to woojin's cover of so long and i'm crying kshdjsf i miss him so much, i wonder how he's doing:(( i won't be able to update this weekend hehe because this girl's gonna be a bit busy oop and i won't be able to get ahold of my laptop hehehe so here's an early chapter!
eat noodles!