10.
Blue didn't sleep all that much that night, trying to figure out a way to hide the ever-increasing stuffiness in her nose and the itch in her throat from Arthur and Miss Grimshaw. She knew she'd get in trouble with the older woman because she hadn't listened and now exactly what Miss Grimshaw had told her would happen was happening...
Eventually, though, she did fall asleep and didn't wake up until the sun started shining through her tent. Arthur was there, hand on her forehead, frowning down at her. Whatever discomfort she'd been feeling the night before was five times worse now. The itch in her throat had turned into pain and there was no way to breathe through her nose anymore. Her eyes felt warm and watered slightly as she looked up at the man sitting on her bed.
"Fever" he mumbled, taking his and away, causing her to pout since it had been nice and cool against her skin.
"I'm sorry..." Blue didn't know exactly wat she was apologizing for but thought maybe it was the best thing to do, just in case.
"Hm... I don't know if it's something to apologize for but I accept it," he gave her a reassuring smile and continued "I'm gonna go get Miss Grimshaw, she'll know what to do" he stood up to leave but Blue grabbed ahold of his hand giving him a pleading look
"No! she'll get mad at me!.." there really wasn't one person in the world she'd least like to see right now, even Micha with his mean comments would have been better. Who knew what Miss Grimshaw would say and do to her when she found out? It wasn't that Blue didn't like the woman, she really truly did like her, but she also scared her and Miss Grimshaw could get very angry when people didn't listen to her, which Blue obviously hadn't done by staying out in the rain...
"Ah come on Blue you're gonna have to face her eventually, she'll find out one way or another and she can help you." Arthur sat down again, swiping her hair away from her sweaty forehead and tucking her arms back under the blanket.
"Please... can't you ask Hosea? Or Charles? Pleeeease?" she felt whiny but didn't care, everything was awful, she was aching all over and she didn't want to face the wrath of Miss Grimshaw just yet.
Arthur sighed but gave her a shorth nod as he left her alone.
She threw her blankets off of her since she felt like she would melt under its heat. Feeling a slight panic building from the lack of air she could get through her nose and the pain when she breathed though her mouth, she stood up, remembering her mother telling her that her nose would clear up if she walked around. So even though her legs were tired and aching she paced back and forth in her tent until Arthur came back.
"What are you doing out of bed?" he didn't sound happy about finding her walking around.
"I can't breathe" she looked up at him, the stinging in her warm eyes causing a tear to roll down her cheek. Arthur probably though she was crying and so quickly softened his voice, she didn't bother to tell him otherwise,
"Is your nose that stuffed?" she nodded "Charles'll be here in a minute, he just needed to get some stuff" he said and motioned for her to get back to bed "I want you to get back under your blankest until then, you'll have to breath though your mouth." She did as she was told and climbed onto her cot but didn't want her blankets.
Arthur tried to place them over her but she kicked them off immediately "too warm" she mumbled when he tried it again.
***
Arthur didn't know what to do... weren't you supposed to keep someone warm when they had a fever? He'd tried over and over to get Blue under her blankets but she wouldn't have it so he gave up. Charles still hadn't arrived and Arthur was starting to wonder what took so long. Sighing he rubbed his face feeling somewhat useless as he glanced at her watery eyes and rosy cheeks.
Every now and then she'd try to breathe through her nose but it only caused her to cough so he advised her to stop.
Long minutes passed and Arthur was just about to go look for Charles when the flaps to Blue's tent were pushed to the side and the man in question stepped in.
"Hello little one" the dark man spoke with a low gentle voice. He motioned for Arthur to move over a bit so that he could get a closer look at Blue, putting down the bowl and the mug he'd been carrying, on the small box next to her cot that posed as a nightstand.
"Hi Charles..." Blue mumbled, her usually sweet and clear voice was now getting raspy. She seemed to get worse by the minute and that didn't sit well with Arthur at all, he'd been sick plenty of times throughout his life but seeing someone so small getting a fever so fast worried him, and it wasn't just any child, it was Blue...
Even if Arthur didn't really want to move away from her, he made sure to give Charles enough room to do what he needed to do. Both of them were fairly big men and the tent wasn't all that big so it got a bit cramped and as the sun started shining though the fabric, the heat rose.
"How you feeling Blue? Arthur tells me you've got yourself a fever overnight." The man said, back turned to Arthur.
"Maybe" her answer was nothing more than a whisper but Arthur could hear her reluctances to actually admit that she was sick, causing both him and Charles to chuckle.
Charles put his large hand on her small forehead, like Arthur himself had done about 30 times since last night, and hummed.
"Well you got a fever all right..." Charles confirmed and turned to face Arthur "open up the tent as much as you can, she needs some fresh air." Arthur quickly did what he was told but decided once he'd done it that maybe it would be better if he let Charles work undisturbed.
Standing up so that he could make eye contact with Blue he reassured her that he would be right outside waiting until Charles was done. She didn't see why he had to leave but Charles thanked him for giving him space.
***
Blue watched as Arthurs stepped out of the tent and then directed her gaze to where Charles was soaking two rags in the bowl he'd brought with him.
"Can you sit up for me?" he asked and so she did, her head spinning slightly.
Slowly he brought the mug to her lips "Careful, it hot" he warned before tilting it just enough so that she could get to it. It tasted strongly of herbs and was, indeed, very warm but she didn't care since it soothed her throat as it went down.
Charles urged her to roll down the sleeves of her oversized shirt over her hands so that she could hold the mug herself without burning her hands.
Once she was done drinking he made her lay down again and covered her with her blankets. Unlike when Arthur did it, she didn't throw them off. There was something about the man who now tended to her that caused her to feel obliged to listen to whatever he said. Not that she didn't listen to Arthur but things didn't sound as serious when it came from him.
As Blue laid there under her blankets she started to feel sleepy and couldn't help but close her eyes as Charles placed the cool rag on her burning forehead. It felt so nice, like when Arthur had placed his cold hands on her face earlier.
Charles was humming quietly under his breath, switching the piece of cloth for a new, colder one, as soon as it got too warm and made sure she was properly covered by her blankets and her pillow was fluffy enough.
She had never felt so take cared of before and so she let herself get lulled to sleep.
The next time she woke up she came face to face with that one person she'd specifically asked not to see... Miss Grimshaw... she didn't necessarily look angry but she sure wasn't happy.
"Didn't I tell you to get out of the rain?!"
"I'm sorry?"
"Hm... well what's done is done, but you better listen to me next time young lady!" the older woman's face softened significantly and she gently pushed a few strands of blond hair Behind Blues ear.
"You hungry?" Blue shook her head, she felt no apatite at all "I think you should try to eat some anyways, you just wait here and I'll be back in a minute." Blue didn't even try to protest, fearing to lose the soft side of Miss Grimshaw.
As the woman left, Blue took a moment to feel, feel how aching her body was, feel how sore her throat was but most of all feeling how happy she was. Not that she was sick, but that even Miss Grimshaw cared about her enough to tuck her hair behind her ear and get her food, that Charles made her tea to sooth the pain and helped her cool down. And the of course there was Arthur, he looked so worried about her, she didn't want him to worry but she couldn't say it didn't feel kind of nice that he did.
And it was Arthur who after a few minutes came in through the open tent flaps with a bowl in hand. He put it on the box next to her cot and then turned back and closed the flaps, causing the tent to go a little bit darker.
He smiled at her, sitting down next to where she snuggled under her blankets.
"How you feeling kid? Better?" his voice was always so soothing to her, it was raspy in a way that just made it warm and comfortable.
"A little, I'm not too warm anymore" as a matter of fact she was too cold now but he didn't need to know that.
"That's good, now eat some stew, it wasn't too bad today, tasted good even." He winked at her, handing her the bowl and a spoon as soon as she sat up. Feeling the cold wrap around her she discreetly, or what she though was discreetly, moved close enough so that their arms were rubbing together, providing her with some warmth.
He chuckled at her and helped pull the blankets around her shoulders, gave her a sideways hug and a kiss on the top of her head before encouraging her to eat. Yeh she was very happy...
"You know you got us all a little worried, slept through the entire day, Kieran thinks you're dying and Sean thinks he caused it since he's been sneezing too, even Bill asked about ya..." Blue looked at him in horror "Charles been reassuring them though" he added, making her feel a little bit better about it.
Blue wanted to say something but couldn't find anything good so she simply directed her attention to her stew and ate in silence. Arthur had told her the stew was good but she had an unpleasant taste in her mouth that made the food hard to swallow. Not only did it taste bed but she found it hard to swallow since her throat felt raw and swollen, causing her to feel sick.
After eating maybe a third of the bowl she looked to Arthur and without words told him she didn't want anymore. "You sure?" he mumbled and she gave a short nod. She was tired again, which was weird considering she'd apparently slept all day.
Moving away from Arthur she curled up on her side and brought the blankets up to her chin, it didn't take long before her watery eyes closed heavily and set her world in darkness.
***
Arthur couldn't believe she'd fallen asleep so fast, she'd literally just closed her eyes and fallen asleep, and he knew for a fact that it generally took her a few hours to fall asleep.
She was shivering like crazy so he left her for just a moment to get his own blankets and gently placed them over her, tucking them in under her feet and around her body, but she was till shaking.
He got some unwelcome flashbacks to when he'd gotten her out of that well and had ridden with her shivering form in his arms. He knew she'd been close to death then but how close was she now? Logically, he told himself, she wasn't anywhere close to as bad as she'd been then, with her broken fingers, bruised ribs and open wounds, but it was the fact that she was shivering that made him questioned it. Maybe she really was worse this time.
Arthur knew that people shivered when they had a fever, he'd done it himself, but his brain wouldn't let him accept it.
Stepping out of her tent he looked around camp for Charles and found his hulking silhouette by the fire. With a sense of urgency in his steps he made his way over there.
"Charles" the man in question turned around at the sound of his name and so did most of the other people around the fire "she fell asleep again but she's shaking like a fucking leaf..." to Arthurs dismay Charles smiled.
"That's good" the dark man stated but Arthur couldn't for the life of him see how it could be good.
"How the hell is that good? She looks like she's freezing to death!"
"It's good because it means the fever is going down, though it will most probably come back at least once more before it goes completely." The calmness and knowledge in Charles voice made Arthur feel somewhat stupid. He knew he wasn't the smartest of men bur he seldom thought of himself as straight up stupid.
Scratching his neck in an embarrassed manner he let out a sigh "You sure?"
"I'm sure, she'll be just fine Arthur."
***
Charles had been right, Blue was fine and the fever did come back, not once but twice before it seemed to go away for good. She was, however, still sick. With her nose stuffed, a terrible cough and a heavy head she sulked in her tent or around the fire, Miss Grimshaw or another gang member keeping an eye on her whenever Arthur wasn't able to.
The biggest problem now, according to Blue, was that she was now good enough to be aware of how boring it was to no DO things. She wasn't allowed to do very much around camp and she had already read and reared all the books Hosea deemed appropriate for children.
Arthur was working, Sean was down with a fever and didn't have the energy to tell her jokes and Arthur didn't want her around the horses so Kieran was out of the question when it came to entertainment, Charles and Javier was out working, Dutch was busy planning things she didn't understand, Hosea was helping Dutch, Jack wasn't allowed anywhere near her to ensure he didn't catch anything, the women weren't all that much fun since they mostly talked about things Blue was "too young for" or things that she simply had no interest in, uncle was drunk and Micha... well Micha was Micha...
And so that was why little Blue found herself sitting next to Bill Williamson, watching him clean his guns. They weren't as pretty as Dutch's but she found them fascinating enough to want to see them. Bill wouldn't let her hold them but he didn't seem to have anything against her watching.
She'd ask him why and how he did the cleaning and he would give her a gruff answer, sometimes showing her what he meant when he couldn't find the words.
"If you don't keep em' clean your bullets not gonna end up where you want em' to" his voice was low and Blue had to strain her ears to hear him.
"Why?"
"Cause... Cause there's dirt in the way so it can't go straight through." Blue thought about this information for a minute and came to the conclusion that it made sense.
"When can I shoot?" she thought her question was innocent enough but Bill seemed startled by it, he stared at her as if she'd grown a second head.
"Well... well that's... women ain't supposed to use guns, they're for men... men like me an' Arthur an' Micha" his cheeks and ears turned an alarming shade of red as he concentrated on anything but Blue.
She didn't understand, why could boys use guns but girls couldn't, didn't Sadie have two guns? Or did she just borrow them and wasn't allowed to actually use them?
"Why?.." the red on Bills cheeks and ears intensified even more at her question, it looked kind of funny and if it wasn't for the fact that she was so confused she might have smiled.
"Cause that's the way it is, women don't do things like that," Blue thought that was a lousy explanation "an' they don't wear pants neither..." he added in a lower voice, motioning with his gun to her pant-clad legs.
Blue took a few seconds to register what he'd told her. She knew girls were supposed to wear dresses, she'd been forced to wear them often enough, but she didn't think there was something actually wrong with wearing pants.
So for the third time she repeated her question; "Why?" she sat there looking down at the brown material wrapped around her legs.
"I don't know... it's just the way it is"
"Says who?"
Bill didn't seem to have an answer to this at all because he just sat there staring at the gun and the rag in his hands.
"I think it's stupid, I like wearing pants and I'm gonna learn how to shoot too!" Blue declared boldly in a way she'd never talked to anyone before. She felt a kind of anger towards the man next to her, not a personal anger but an anger towards the way he'd decided for her that she couldn't and shouldn't shoot. She felt a need to prove to him that if he could do it the so could she.
She stood up ready to leave him alone by the fire, why should she sit with him if he felt those things towards her?
"Ain't no one gonna wanna teach you kid, specially not Morgan" he called out as she turned from him.
Blue knew deep down that he might be right about that. Arthur had made it very clear he didn't want her to become like him and she knew guns was a big part of what he did and who he was.
"But you could do it" she said quietly, daring meeting his warm brown eyes for the first time since she came to be with the gang.
"Me? Teaching you? I don't think so, I ain't very good at explaining... being Morgan's kid an' all I'm sure he's told you how dumb and useless I am... you don't want me teaching ya..." he said, rubbing his beard and looking away, into the fire.
Now it was Blue's turn to be shocked, she'd been called those things too and so she knew how they hurt, did Arthur really say those kinds of things to Bill? It didn't sound like the Arthur that'd offered to be her father or who tucked her in at night and made sure she was warm enough.
"You're not dumb, or... or useless, you work as much as everyone else, don't you?" she slowly sat down next to him again.
"Well you're the only one who thinks so then..." he mumbled, glancing at her while still facing the fire.
"Well then I'm the only one who's right!" all the anger she'd felt towards him just a minute before melted away and was replaced with a sense of understanding, a connection she'd never felt before.
Bill was obviously bothered and stopped acknowledging her pressers, he just sat there rubbing his rag on the same, clean, part on the wooden handle of his gun.
After maybe five minutes Blue realized that he wasn't going to talk to her anymore and she thought maybe she'd said something that upset him. She hoped that wasn't the case because she liked Bill, even if he barely ever even spoke to her.
Not knowing what to do she simply left him there and went back to her tent for a nap.
She laid on her cot, staring at the creamy color of the fabric above her and thought about guns and pants, what they had in common and why they were restricted to boys. All of the thoughts made her head hurt and she wondered if maybe she should go ask Hosea about it, he always had the best answers to all her questions. But she was too tired and her body was aching all over so she stayed where she was, waiting and hoping for Arthur to come back.
When she finally heard heavy footsteps closing in on her tent and saw the bulky shadow against the fabric she sat up, expecting Arthur Morgan to step inside. But it wasn't Arthur... it was Bill.
Poking his head inside he looked at her intensely "I'll do it, I'll teach you if ya want me to, but you can't tell no one! Not even Morgan!"
Blue felt a smile spread across her face "Really?!" she couldn't believe it!
"Yeh... but you have to give me your word that you'll keep quiet about it!"
"I give you my word!"