(This chapter is purely on Xi Chen's POV. Thought it's important to include his POV at this point of time)
(~Birth of Wangji~)
"This is your baby Brother, XiChen." Uncle carefully places the infant in my arms. The first thought than runs course through me is the fact that he is so delicate. So white. So pure. So innocent. So mine.
Never had I felt so protective towards another being, but when I met you, I knew, I just knew, I was born to protect you. You were someone whom I could protect without second doubt. The moment you were placed in my arms, I swore to protect you with my life, with my soul and with my very being.
"What do you want to name him?" Uncle enquires and I am surprised, "You want me to name him?" With smile he nods.
Pondering over his question I caress your chubby cheeks and that is when your pale eyes seek mine, my soul realises how calm your eyes are. Calm as the blue sky. For some reason, your soul seems already enlightened. I knew for somewhere within me, you were an old soul. A soul who had nothing to do with mere mortals, yet born to achieve great zeal in his life.
"Zhan, an Azure shade of the color blue, his birth name, name only for his very own to refer, and for the world shall call him Wangji, meaning a soul who has nothing to do with mere mortal beings, his courtesy name."
A chorus of cheers and appreciation rings around me but my heart only beats for the little one in my arms.
Wangji.
Walking slowly towards Jingshi, a forbidden place, where I or rather no one is allowed to enter, yet not taking into consideration for any rules today, I go beyond rules, beyond the laws laid down by my uncle, so that atleast once I could meet our mother, assure her that Wangji is alright. He's with me. Assure her that I shall protect him. I knock once and her feeble voice quivers as she gives me permission to enter.
"Mama." I greet with a warm bow and walk into the room only to find her struggling to sit properly. The son in me runs to help her out as she leans against the wall. I bring her a cup of water as her parched eyes gazes at my face and her smile conveys all her emotions.
The lady in front of me, is a lady, whose both sons were ripped away from her, the day they were born for no fault of hers. She is a shell of a women, who received no love from anyone and yet was punished for no fault of hers.
Words were never needed between us, but there were somethings I needed to say. Placing my palm on her hand I assure Mama, "I have named my brother, Wangji and his birth name is Zhan." Her eyes well up and she smiles beautifully, "Zhan?" She enquires again and I nod. "He has your eyes Mama, pale, just like the sky." At that she closes her eyes and sighs. When they open they're peaceful.
"Huan," her soft voice calls my name and my heart melts "your mother apologises, for my mistake, you both are being punished. I hope you can forgive me." Tears stream down and I quickly wipe them.
"Mama -" I plead but she stops me "Huan, Zhan is a beautiful name. Thank you." Caressing my fingers she continues, "He has no one but you, and I know this is not an age where I should give you such a big responsibility, but take care of him. Teach him how this world works. Make him aware as to how this world perceives what they think is the right and wrong," she pauses and her eyes implore me to understand the meaning behind her words "but most of all teach him always to believe his heart. This world won't accept people who don't think like them, but you teach him the importance of following his heart no matter the consequence."
My Mama's words have always resonated within me and so when it came to Wangji, I always wanted him to follow his heart. It was what she wanted too.
But with Wangji, as he grew, he became more a person of solitude than one who connected with the world.
As an infant, he was always to himself. He never had any friends nor did he yearn for one. He was a child who would gaze into far of distance and his thoughts would wander to places where one would not dare to reach. He became a person of few words and to an outsider a being with lack of words.
But I knew he was hurting. Hurting from inside for everytime he was denied entry to Jingshi. My brother never asked for much, rather never asked for anything, but all he wanted was that one day with our Mama. His hopes diminished everytime he was denied. Wangji never had any memories of our father for he had locked himself away from his family and everyone around him and Mama never spoke of him. Wangji's only solace was me and he was scared to ask for more, fearing I too would be taken away from him.
Many nights, I have witnessed youngWangji, creeping into my room in middle of the night, sleeping away from my futon and before sunrise, he would go back to his room. I never questioned him, me fearing that would stop him and I wanted to provide him all the comfort he needed.
My brother's life was shattered the day he knew no one would open their arms to welcome him in Jingshi and after that, he became a soul who cared even less. He completely closed himself away for the world. His persona was that of an Ice Prince and I lost my baby brother that day.
Gone was the warmth in him.
He had changed.
Everyday he would enter the study hall, complete his chores, train, study again. That became his life. His routine.
Until one day, an event changed him.
It was around the age of 5 when he came to Yunmeng with me. There was a spark of hope in his eyes but he was extremely guarded about it. Even with me, but I never questioned his motives. I was happy, my brother lived his life and was looking forwards to something. Something of extreme significance.
Life continued, he became the best in his field. Be it learning Wangji his Zither or wielding his Bichen.
It was during one such late night when I was strolling the grounds, I heard a familiar tune yet was different in its chords. On further investigation I found my younger brother conversing with a spirit.
Inquiry.
He was inquiring about someone.
I walked away without looking back.
A small smile played on my lips. Wangji is inquiring about someone. My brother's life has a meaning afterall. He... He is living his life for someone.
From then on, I have always kept my ears open and every night my heart ached when I hear Inquiry.
Wangji, whom are you inquiring so much about brother?
Wangji has a been a soul who appears soulless. A man whose emotions were mocked by the world. His pure heart was never understood by the likes of people around him. His only friend was me but, my brother never learnt how to live his life.
Somewhere I felt guilty that perhaps I never fulfilled the promise to our mother. He did become a man who had nothing to do with the worldly matter of this realm.
Life seemed to stop for Wangji until he met him. Wei Wuxian.
For the first time my brother's soulless eyes sparkled. Not for the world to see but for me to seek.
Perspective fell in place. He was the boy my brother played Inquiry for.
Wei Wuxian.
Wei Ying.
For you my Wangji, I shall go against all odds and help Wei Wuxian to melt your heart. To make you feel once again.
I see potential in Young Master Wei and thus, I shall implore him to woo you.
~Present times~
"Young Master Wei." I call out. Turning to face me he bows down and his genuine smile assures me that this man is indeed perfect for my Wangji. "Please proceed towards the sacred Cold Pool, the river there will cure your pains." Looking relieved with a quick bow he sprints and I watch at his retreating back.
Go Young Master Wei, my brother is waiting for you. Go and make him realise, it's good to have a beating heart.
Looking up at the Azure sky I whisper, "Mama, hope I did the right thing. Help him. Help them." Smiling I walk away.
In so many ways he's just like you, Mama. His looks, the way he talks, his eyes. I promise, he shall receive all the love he can. His love won't be like yours. I won't allow him to sacrifice his love.
Aww man Xi Chen is the best!!! This Scene is a game changer of the entire series. Who implores Wei towards the cold pool? XiChen!!!
This chapter is so what I felt Xi Chen would have been through as a child. All alone. Living only for Wangji. Being the eldest, so much responsibility.