"Mom, how do you know if you love someone?" I said while laying on the couch in her office while throwing my stress ball in the air and catching it.
I could hear the rain hit the window pane lightly and the wind whistling ever so slightly. I've been stuck in my head ever since EuEu told me she loved me the other day.
Just the thought of someone loving me made me confused and weirded out. Yeah, my mom and Jahseh love me but the family loves not romantic love.
Girls have told me in the past that they loved me but I never thought anything of it before. Bitches be lying sometimes, they just love me for my dick.
Eudoria's words had me very confused. What even is love? Love is everything and nothing at the same time.
My mom spun around in her computer chair and looked at me smirking.
"Are you in love Stokeley?" She said cheesing.
"Fuck no," I said rolling my eyes.
"Ya mouth boy"
"Sorry Ma"
"Then why are asking me this? You always avoid talks about your feelings. What's going on?" She said raising an eyebrow at me.
"Forget I asked," I said already getting annoyed with the conversation.
"No wait," She said putting her hand up to stop me.
"Love is very hard to explain. But I guess it can mean when you feel as though you have a deep connection with someone. When you feel as though you can be yourself and comfortable around someone," She said giving me a closed-mouth smile.
What she said made a little sense to me but I was still confused. I nodded my head trying to act like I understood. But I really didn't but if I said so she would just keep rambling.
"Well, thanks for that ma but I should get going. Jahseh and I are supposed to go for a walk,"
"It's raining Stokeley," She rolled her eyes at me and turned back around in her chair.
I'm pretty sure knows that taking a walk refers to me and Jah going to go smoke. But she never acknowledges it.
"Yeah Yeah Yeah," I said getting up and grabbing my raincoat walking out the door.
I could hear my shoes squish in the mud. I cringed slightly because my shoes were getting mad dirty. I did a slight jog to the cabin that Jahseh and I shared to get out the rain quicker.
I looked up briefly and watched as the pine trees swayed back and forth in the wind. I honestly love the rain just not when I'm in it. I heard some thunder in the distance and I smiled briefly. Simply things like this made me happy in this world.
Music, rain, good food, video games, and Eudoria.
I smiled at just the thought of her name.
I then bumped into someone and I instantly got annoyed looking at the person. My irritation was quickly washed away when I noticed long behold my EuEu.
"Damn girl watch where you going," I said smiling and punching her shoulder slightly.
"Nah watch where you going," She said laughing and putting emphasis on the you.
"Where are you going anyways?" She said putting her hand on the back of my neck and pulling me into a quick kiss.
"To smoke with Jahseh. You wanna come?"
She smiled and nodded her head. This is why I like hanging with Eudoria. She gets just as happy as me to smoke. I took in her appearance and she was wearing a green raincoat with her waterproof vans. She didn't have on any makeup and she honestly looked beautiful right now.
"Stop starring at me like that," She started smiling and looked away. I couldn't see it but I could tell she was blushing.
"My bad mamas you're just bad asf," I said pinching her cheek.
"Stop hoe," She said slapping my hand.
"Who you calling a hoe? Thot," I said laughing and walking towards the cabin. I wanted to get out of this rain because I didn't want Eudoria to get sick.
My and EuEu joaned on each other a bit more as we made our way to our destination.
I opened the cabin door for her and walked in after her. Jahseh was sitting on the floor criss-cross applesauce rolling a blunt.
"Yerrrrrr!" He yelled out.
"Wassup Vro"
"Hi Jahseh," Eudoria said taking off her coat and hanging it up.
I did the same and sat down on the floor myself. I decided to help Jahseh roll the blunts.
"Can you break this down for me babe?" I said handing Eudoria a tiny mason jar of weed. She nodded her head and took the jar from me. I watched her out of the corner of my eye as Jahseh talked to me about something random.
She took a whiff of the weed before putting it to her nose and smelling it some more. I smiled softly at her.
"What strain is this? It smells good," She said looking up at me and Jahseh.
"I think pineapple chunk if I'm not mistaken," Jahseh said concentrating on his blunt.
Jahseh, Eudoria, and I all talked for a bit and listening to music while jah and I rolled up. We rolled 5 blunts in total, Two for Jahseh and me and one for Eudoria since she doesn't like getting stupid high. Just enough so she can be chill.
After we were done we all passed the lighter around so we can light our blunts. As I was lighting mine Nights by Frank Ocean started to play. I took a drag and started nodding my head to the beat. I could feel myself relax already.
These are the moments I live for.
We all exchanged conversation and good vibes before Jahseh spoke up.
"Ight I'm about to go get some pussy," Jahseh said getting up and dusting himself off.
"Boiiiii" Eudoria said laughing at him.
"What? Dio almost going she just need a little more seduction," He said sticking his tongue out.
"Alright Vro have fun and be safe," I said dapping him up.
"Bye Jah," Eudoria said dapping him up also.
Once Jahseh left EuEu got up and turned the speaker up a bit and sat back down. I asked her to hand me my blunt that was next to her and I sparked it. I looked up at EuEu through the smoke and noticed how low and red her eyes were.
I guess she felt my gaze and looked up at me. We starred at each other and eventually broke out into laughter. I have no idea what was funny but we were crying laughing. After we eventually calmed down she crawled over to me and laid between my legs.
"How you been feeling lately?" She said looking up at me.
"Not too bad," I said hitting my blunt and giving it to her.
"Are you sure? I feel like I made things weird between us after what I said," She said frowning slightly while inhaling.
This made me frown. I didn't mean for things to feel weird for her. I also don't want her to feel bad about her feelings towards me.
I pulled her up and pulled her into my lap so she was facing me. Desire by Juice Wrld started playing.
The girl in my dream
"Listen I really like you Eudoria. But I just don't think I'm ready to reciprocate those feelings. I hope you can respect that and we can just continue to keep doing what we're doing, for now," I said rubbing her thighs.
Is sittin' right next to me, next to me
"I understand. I just thought that I pushed you away and ruined what we had by saying that and I wish I could kinda take it back and-" She said rubbing my ear. I don't know why she likes doing that.
If I'm bein' honest, let me be honest, baby, we're beyond this
"Shhh you're thinking too much, stop it," I said cutting her off. She pressed her lips into a thin line and just hugged me with her head in the crook of my neck.
Shout your name in hills in the valley, whole world's gonna know you love me
We just sat there hugging each other. I rubbed her back and held her close. I just wanted to stay like this forever.
Scream your name across the galaxy, now the universe know that I'm on the same thing
Sorry about any mistakes. I'm probably going to update again on Monday. This was really just a filler and cute chapter. We get to some real shit after this chapter. Vote and Comment!